Women Argue Against What They Think You're Saying Instead of What You Actually Said

Ok_Cook_3098 · 2025-12-17T22:25:16+00:00

That has nothing to do with woman but with bad faith actors.

If you fucked up, just derail until you have the high ground.

There is literally a moderator here who is know to just delete replys if a sane answer would be to hard

Emotional_Meal748 · 2025-12-17T22:19:59+00:00

We do the same to them all the time

WanabeInflatable · 2025-12-18T05:32:14+00:00

It is called strawman. When they can't argue with your argument, they pretend you said something different that is easy to counter or be righteously offended.

Not really gendered thing

Murky_Record8493 · 2025-12-18T05:04:15+00:00

this is completely normal for people who live in emotional inner worlds. it makes sense, but the communication is hell.

emotions are hard to translate man. we do the best we can with logic but its not enough and usually makes it worse

NoDanaOnlyZuuI · 2025-12-17T23:23:17+00:00

Yes, men do this too. It’s almost like a lot of things aren’t gendered

Unhappy_Offer_1822 · 2025-12-17T23:15:52+00:00

because this is not just a regular debate it is a purple pill debate

so of course you have arguments on subjective topics that are not clearly defined between those using emotions and then those who have convinced themselves they are using logic but they are really using emotions and then sometimes those who understand the topic

just throw in the random strawman accusation here and there and namecalling

SleepyPoemsin2020 · 2025-12-18T02:31:14+00:00

where a clear and narrow topic somehow becomes several unrelated issues that I never raised.

Literally the story of my life with most interactions I have with men on this sub.

Xiggyj · 2025-12-18T04:00:23+00:00

I agree.

mashedturnip · 2025-12-18T00:24:14+00:00

Not a gendered behavior.

Example:

“Looks aren’t everything”

“You said looks don’t matter at all!”

Flightlessbirbz · 2025-12-18T01:36:38+00:00

People always argue against what they think you’re saying, because there is no way to argue against anything else. If someone has misunderstood your argument, you have to clarify.

Now if you’re talking about changing subjects, derailing arguments, going on tangents, that’s also something both genders do.

Prior-Impression-871 · 2025-12-18T02:20:57+00:00

That's what asking bad faith questions gets you. What exactly are you expecting to hear?

why are women attracted to abusive men

Talk about loaded!

Because we love to get abused. Giggles. They are so hot, unlike those nice guys that want to kiss our feet and brush our hair. Sex with chad, alpha fuck, sex, casual sex with chad and not you

BathAutomatic6972 · 2025-12-17T23:22:27+00:00

It really depends on the topic!

Some women, if they know they're toxic or they're obviously wrong but don't want to be accountable, will begin to argue about emotions. They'll provoke a response, and then argue emotions. Once you realize that, it becomes much easier to keep the discussion on the topic. When men do this, they blow up and leave.

It also helps to remember that there are common cognitive errors men make and women make. The most common one women make is around fundamental attribution errors (This thing happened to you because you're dumb/terrible, but it happened to me because of circumstance and outside issues out of my control). The most common error everyone makes, especially around heated topics, is hasty generalization i.e. “This terrible thing happened to me, so why do women do this?”

John_Oakman · 2025-12-18T01:32:55+00:00

When enough people are playing word games (in order to generate gotcha moments and thus easy victories) it is expected that other will respond accordingly by reading between the lines.

avocadolanche3000 · 2025-12-17T22:35:34+00:00

This is a human thing.

It’s also partly a pill-issue. If someone is making red-pill arguments, you might infer a bunch of their other beliefs. For instance the financial/abortion thing. They see themselves as calling out hypocrisy in your party platform.

Which can be misguided, but it isn’t always. They it’s bad faith actors, they might not want to admit their anti-choice because it’s inconvenient to their financial-choice position, for instance.

And as regards personal relationships, arguments are not what they are about all the time. Probably most dishes arguments are about responsibility and accountability more than actual dishes. An argument about who takes better care of the dog is about who might take better care of the kids, or neglect their partner in later years. Most of this kind of arguing is subtextual.

jorts-enthusiast · 2025-12-17T23:20:46+00:00

Men do this too.

cb8585b · 2025-12-18T01:10:16+00:00

I disagree; women can read. Why are you claiming that women are illiterate and do you have evidence to support this assertion?

kvakerok_v2 · 2025-12-18T01:55:58+00:00

And they also get mad at what they think you've said/meant over what you've actually said. That's like womanese 101.

SeemedGood · 2025-12-18T00:40:51+00:00

Women and effeminate men employ this logical fallacy to maintain their states of cognitive dissonance when they don’t have a sound rational counter argument.

The_Forgotten001 · 2025-12-17T23:21:18+00:00

You’re noticing when you triggered an ego argument. It’s both men and women.

Men are more willing to acquiesce due to peace keeping.

indalo21 · 2025-12-18T01:03:50+00:00

Men do this too.

BobtheArcher2018 · 2025-12-18T02:44:25+00:00

I think this goes too far in the gendering, but I think it is true women do it more. The deeper issue, which contributes to the OPs claim, but has a much broader impact is that women have trouble staying focused on the descriptive without having one eye on the prescriptive. By this I mean that when discussing an issue, in theory one should first just focus on what is the case before using that as a basis for discussing what should be the case.

But for good evolutionary reasons, women are both less interested in the abstract and always concerned about what actions 'admitting' anything in the descriptive phase might lead to. They are innately more manipulative because they always had to be.

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Makuta_Servaela · 2025-12-18T13:11:20+00:00

I've had like three debates on this sub in the past two days that ended with the man assuming my intentions and only arguing with those.

For one of them, a guy made a claim, I asked for a source, his source was a news article that was objectively badly written, and when I pointed out the issues with the writing and how it wasn't a good source, he kept calling me "emotional" and stating that I only didn't like the article because it was made by the "woke" BBC.

Purple Pill Debates are primarily held by people with too much time on their hands, who just like to argue for the sake of arguing (I say as one of these people). Of course many of the arguments are going to get annoying.

matthedev · 2025-12-18T15:05:07+00:00

How is this a gender-specific thing? Straw-man arguments, over-generalizations, misdirection, and bad-faith arguments are all just rhetorical tactics some people sometimes use, consciously or not.

bomboid · 2025-12-19T04:29:24+00:00

Stop surrounding yourself with midwits and making it a female problem. Curate your entourage and try to seek out smarter people. This is like if a woman only hung out with idiots and thought she discovered some deep truth about men

onetimeuseaccc · 2025-12-18T16:51:32+00:00

We do the same thing to women all the time. Women often say things to maintain moral high ground or superiority but really believe and practice the opposite things. For example, many women will say height doesn't matter and we're over exaggerating but then you see them saying the truth somewhere else or in their actions.

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Specific-Art-8932 · 2025-12-18T02:08:51+00:00

Women Argue Against What They Think You're Saying Instead of What You Actually Said

This is just sugar coating . Women interpret everything based on gender while also having no consideration to below average men when a conversation occurs . There is no " how to talk to men " lesson for women and it probably will never be . The first think a boy hear after entering puberty or even before is how to be " nice to girls " .

An example to make this easier to understand :

There is a girl in our friends group and she finally decided to " settle " and she's now engaged to the embodiment of " modern soft tiktok guy " and they way she address him is just pure disrespect which is weird cause she is the most submissive girl I know ( but very sexually active) . She lost her virginity at 13 and dated dudes that called her a bitch 24h and she was always okay with it , not only guys she dated but also girls she has as friends treat her like that .

Let's be honest , give women an inch they take a mile . Modern men chose women while women chose women, and now everyone is walking on an egg shell afraid to call out women for their shitty behavior that would get anyone else in trouble .

When people will start being honest instead of catering to women then people can have an effective conversation about gender- based issues....

pwnkage · 2025-12-18T05:53:38+00:00

A discussion about whether men should be able to opt out of legal parenthood when they did not consent to becoming a parent turns into accusations of being anti abortion. - probably because abortion is a big women's rights issue right now. Also men consent to being a parent when they put his dick in her.

A discussion asking why some women are attracted to abusive men gets answered with statements like no one owes you sex. - I can't quite follow this one, needs more context, but women are attracted to abusive men because they have been abused all their lives by their shitty families and told to lower their standards for men. A shitty man starts to look like an okay man if all you know is abuse.

Next
A discussion about paying rent on time turns into a conversation about not going out enough. - discussions about how to spend finances should be done with your partner not the internet.
Next

A request not to share food because of a serious allergy becomes an accusation that I am angry or controlling - have no idea what this could be about

eluusive · 2025-12-17T22:25:25+00:00

So you're saying... that men can't understand women's arguments? /s

Yes, I've seen this all over the place. I assume that the particular individuals are triggered by the implications that something might have in other areas. Usually, when it occurs it's some extreme variation of what's being said. It does seem to happen more frequently with women on this forum.

It's highly obnoxious, and I generally stop responding to people who do that after a while.

Mission-Pie-7192 · 2025-12-18T03:10:42+00:00

First off, this sounds unhealthy and toxic. Do you need this in your life? Maybe these aren't people worth talking to.

Have you tried restating their position? That helps a lot in situations like this, regardless of anyone gender.

"it sounds like you're saying ... Did I get that right?" You don't have to agree, just state their position. If they agree, ask them to state your position.

Now you can argue with it, because you're both on the same page. That prevents the argument from moving to something else, and you can come back to it if it starts drifting.

Disastrous_Agent9307 · 2025-12-18T11:21:02+00:00

Just speaking as someone who is entirely capable of turning on an Ice Cold Motherfucker style of debate where we stay on the topic and only the topic and we address it rationally....

Yeah men don't fair to well either, dude. This isn't a gendered thing. Most people lack for the language and discipline to follow that sort of debate because it is a skill that requires practice.

And I will tell you, the difference between following formal debate and not...well it doesn't get you to a real discussion. Especially when you know those implied implications are often under there.

Title	Women Argue Against What They Think You're Saying Instead of What You Actually Said
Author	Mountain_Resident_34
Upvotes	57
Comments	111
Date	December 17, 2025 10:13 PM UTC (7 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1pp9rn2/women_argue_against_what_they_think_youre_saying/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-argue-against-what-they-think-youre-saying.1569085 https://theredarchive.com/post/1569085

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