How promiscuous do you consider yourself to be?

Icy_Ad_4544 · 2026-02-18T23:56:04+00:00

You are forgetting about the relationships that start out as friends, they have sex, and then decide to start dating.

False-Purple3882 · 2026-02-19T07:48:13+00:00

I have an issue with the conflation of promiscuity & sex positivity in your post. Also some of these scenarios don’t exactly make sense with where you’ve placed them in the hierarchy.

people who sleep with someone off online dating within a few hours of meeting them

This is flawed because in these scenarios, the amount of time people spend talking before they meet varies significantly between individuals. I talked with someone for about a month before meeting him.

love_in_october · 2026-02-19T08:04:58+00:00

Not at all as I've only had sex with one person. We weren't married at the time, but I don't think that matters to my perception of it.

gloomette_the_angel · 2026-02-18T23:55:18+00:00

I’m a KHHV, not really by choice. The opportunity has simple never come my way. I’d probably give it up pretty quickly but only if I was physically attracted to the guy and he made me feel assured enough to do it.

anna_alabama · 2026-02-19T01:26:31+00:00

I lost my virginity to my husband after dating for about 9 months

Ronniebbb · 2026-02-19T05:31:28+00:00

Did not wait for marriage, but lost my virginity to my husband after we had been in a committed relationship and dating for 6months.

saraimarsena · 2026-02-18T23:49:12+00:00

i’ve only dated 3 people tbh, my n count is 2 (i’m 26) and i grew up very religious. while i don’t judge promiscuity in others, i know im an oddball in my circles, i also know i don’t have it in me to sleep around. the programming runs too deep and i know i’d just catch feelings - idk how to separate love and sex.

i don’t wait for marriage but i do prefer to wait for sex a bit, and save it for someone i intend to eventually marry.

this steered my wrong in my first relationship, i stayed too long partially because i had a really hard time with the idea of leaving my first sexual partner.

after that ended, i briefly dated a guy who cold approached me but broke it off because he wanted to get physical way faster than i was comfortable with.

my current partner and fiancé started as a friend/coworker that i caught feelings for, so we knew each other for 7 months before things became romantic. even though i was very comfortable with him, we didn’t do anything beyond a kiss until about 10 dates in, and piv 3 months into our relationship.

im definitely pretty slow to get all the way physically vulnerable with a guy - ive idealized the idea of saving my most sexual self for my husband (or future husband i guess, since i dont wait for marriage).

the fact that i prefer to wait though doesn’t mean im low libido, i’m rather HL, hence the flair. just very careful who i share that side of myself with.

you wouldn’t know it though off first glance. i like to dressy sexy, i like to go clubbing, i partied in college and party still, all that.

Secret_Entry1840 · 2026-02-19T00:15:08+00:00

I’m a slut🤷‍♀️ less slutty now.

iHeartFartz913 · 2026-02-19T03:48:06+00:00

I am "people who sleep with someone from bars, clubs, parties or who cold approach thrm within hours of meeting them"

And

"People who sleep with someoneoff online dating within a few hours of meeting them"

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2026-02-19T04:02:52+00:00

I used to be this one. People who sleep with someone from bars, clubs, parties, or who cold approach them within a few hours of meeting them

Now I fuck my husband

Lysa_Bell · 2026-02-19T07:42:43+00:00

Back when I was promiscuous i had sex with people I just got to know for a couple of hours, ONS, sex with friends, fwb, fuck buddies, sex in relationships. N count is something like 14 I think (men and women). Now with my husband for almost 8 years. So not promiscuous anymore.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2026-02-18T23:57:05+00:00

upper double digits, unsure. very in my youth

GroundbreakingAlps78 · 2026-02-18T23:56:37+00:00

N=10. I have only ever had sex within an exclusive relationship.

Suspicious_Glove7365 · 2026-02-18T23:35:12+00:00

My history is only two things: I only get into relationships with people I develop feelings for and have known at a least a month before sex, and sleep with someone from online dating within on day of meeting them. Edit: actually wait one time I did sleep with an acquaintance after a week of knowing him.

kayceeplusplus · 2026-02-19T03:26:56+00:00

Second.

P1anth0 · 2026-02-19T06:25:56+00:00

I dated men in our friend group. So I knew all my bfs anywhere from 1-6 years before dating them. I never had casual sex nor did anything else, if I was single I was fullly celibate. I did not have sex with the majority of my bfs because I was waiting for marriage but I got caught up in the heat of the moment with my bf of two years when I was 21. Waiting is hard. With husband sex was quicker probably the 3rd date but that was mostly because I had already had premarital sex so i didn’t see a point in waiting anymore. Plus I knew he was crazy about me and I felt the same way. If my husband had went to my HS or college I don’t think I would have even looked at another man.

half_avocado33 · 2026-02-18T23:51:17+00:00

Where is the "people with whom you hit it off from the beginning - within hours or days after you meet them, but sex happens a month later"

Idk, i think this is a somewhat common occurrence.

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2026-02-19T00:14:16+00:00

Fairly promiscuous by a lot of people's standards. I've had one-night stands, friends with benefits, I've got no problem with sleeping with someone on the first date.

ArkNemesis00 · 2026-02-19T01:45:51+00:00

I consider myself fairly sex positive but lost my virginity to my husband after a few months of dating + friends beforehand. Sex is great, I just reserve it for one specific person.

DMmeClownPics · 2026-02-19T05:05:43+00:00

I have hooked up with someone, within minutes of meeting him in person, while on my way to work and then went straight to work afterwards. I have had sex with three different people in the same day (not at the same time). I have had sex for money. I have cheated and I have had sex with multiple people whom I knew were married.

So I guess I’m pretty promiscuous.

JustGeminiThings · 2026-02-19T01:52:21+00:00

I have experienced everything from 3-6! The more promiscuous options were never a guarantee, just a combination of goals, mood, and mutual chemistry.

Lyla_fr · 2026-02-19T03:35:51+00:00

Hmm.. this is interesting! For me, N=1 and he was a friend that I never developed feelings for. Intimacy of many kinds generally makes me anxious, but I had been friends with this guy for yearsss and was very comfortable with him. It was never romantic, I had just hit 23 and was tired of having never been kissed. We were chatting about it one day and he was in the same boat. It was nice and we would hookup regularly for a few months.

It actually ended because I was a fantastic wingwoman and landed him a girlfriend haha

Talking_Tanuki · 2026-02-19T04:11:41+00:00

I’m very low on promiscuity, but it’s the outcome of not being into casual sex or excessive attention from men in general. All my sexual partners were my LTR partners, and there are only 3 of them, the last one is my husband, the second was my college girlfriend, and the first was my second boyfriend.

Fragrant-Half-7854 · 2026-02-19T22:00:21+00:00

So you’re only sex positive if you have sex with whoever whenever?

fakingandnotmakingit · 2026-02-20T00:55:16+00:00

I count myself as someone who needs a lot of emotional connection and safety to feel comfortable having sex.

Unfortunately a lot of that connection and safety also comes from the sense that the man wants to be in a relationship with me and not just playing around.

That means a lot of men, some who might have wanted a relationship with me but who wanted early sex, would say no to me.

That's okay too. I wasn't hurt by it. They're allowed their standards but I'm allowed to have mine.

I have noticed that even if I'm okay with men not liking me, men aren't okay with men not liking me for it.

Like I get accused of "this is the wrong way to filter!" And "you'll miss good guys!" Or "are you consistent with the timing?" Or "bet you had sex early with Chad!!!"

And it's like okay? So what? I've been very happy with my choices and how they worked out for me. Why are you angry that some other guy would have said no to me

ouishi · 2026-02-20T01:30:11+00:00

I don't like you equating this with sex positivity. I am not very promiscuous but extremely sex positive.

I have never had Sex™ although I've had quite a bit of sex. I'm still waiting for the right person to go all the way though.

I have never had a casual encounter. I have "hooked up" only with friends I've known for a while.

I am not afraid of being naked in front of strangers or discussing kinks with them.

I would love to go to a kink party but I wouldn't do anything sexual there.

theminxisback · 2026-02-20T01:48:39+00:00

I'm the most sexually experienced person i know. That's about all I can really say before getting too into it 😅🤣

ladybird_00 · 2026-02-19T00:06:39+00:00

I’ve always waited at least 3 months to have sex with anyone I’ve dated.

icypiee · 2026-02-19T01:15:33+00:00

Typically I need to date someone and get to know them for a few weeks before sleeping with them.

But I have absolutely broken this rule for a few select men that were hot and enticing enough to skip the line.

leosandlattes · 2026-02-19T01:34:59+00:00

I’ve had 2 sexual partners, both LTRs. We knew each other from social circles but didn’t really talk one-on-one or anything until I was approached romantically. I slept with both of them really quickly, like on the second date. Maybe 1-2 weeks into us talking? Hard to remember.

I don’t need to love them or anything before sex, but I need to know we are both looking for an LTR and things are headed that way.

JadeGrapes · 2026-02-19T01:31:00+00:00

I'm going to need you to assign some cutsie labels to the levels, like forest animals, names of mountains, Birds, or possibly fruit? Although the fruit thing is used for pregnancy so that might be confusing.

Is there a category for where;

I immediately have a crush on every non related person I meet - but after about 1-2 minutes of communication, they disqualify themselves and ruin it... so in practice I only actually like brain jocks with a healthy inner landscape and social circle...

...Then if those people make a move... even just online...?

I tell them DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. I promise to tell you if it involves you. Stop trying to figure me out. 😆

So maybe like a Kiwi? Or Mt. Ranier. Or a Feral Moa? I guess kind of a Hot coral color?

Blacktransjanny · 2026-02-19T15:15:37+00:00

I only slept with people I was at least exclusively talking to. Was friends with my husband first and just 1 night, things changed.

CatallaxyRanch · 2026-02-19T18:26:33+00:00

People who sleep with acquaintances within a few hours of being alone with them for the first time

This one.

Brilliant-Block-8200 · 2026-02-19T18:33:11+00:00

Only have sex in committed relationships and have only been with 2 men. Both times had sex after around 4 months

TangerineEvery8912 · 2026-02-21T03:16:27+00:00

I'm a mega prude (waiting until marriage)

softrevolution_ · 2026-02-19T00:11:37+00:00

Next to top one, except it's not "friends first", it's definitely "we are romantic, there is kissing, we're just waiting until trust and respect for anything definitively sexual."

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bondepart · 2026-02-19T09:45:33+00:00

I’ve been to kink and sex clubs and had lots of hookups. As a result I’ve no idea what my “n-count” is, I’ve lost count, but I know it’s way way more than the average normie heterosexual person, probably in the hundreds.

I’m kinda retired and pretty asexual though these days. It all got a bit boring and repetitive and I didn’t like the way men treated me.

I think it’s hilarious whenever people try to shame me for this though. They’re either jealous or very repressed.

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Title	How promiscuous do you consider yourself to be?
Author	Reasonable_Mouse789
Upvotes	14
Comments	149
Date	February 18, 2026 11:30 PM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1r8j1vg/how_promiscuous_do_you_consider_yourself_to_be/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-promiscuous-do-you-consider-yourself-to-be.1573783 https://theredarchive.com/post/1573783

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