There is no reason for women to ever believe “men feel love through sex”.

pie-mart · 2026-02-19T17:32:06+00:00

I think yes and no. I understand that within a relationship sex (for non asexuals) needs to happen to maintain love. Of course it shouldn't be the main thing. Like if my husband lost his dick ability in a car accident im not going to cheat on him or leave him. I made vows. And I love him

But men do need to stop giving their sexual attention to everyone and then expect us to see their lust and sexual attention as a compliment or as meaningful

Men have been teaching us women that sex is a meaningless thing they do when they are horny.

A lustful man who likes and follows a bunch of women and likes all their bikini photos? His lust, if directed at me means nothing since its given to everyone.

And no offense to men, but sometimes yall are out there making a public show of your expression of lust to lots of women and we see this.

In our experience lust for sex isn't lust for us as an individual. And holds 0 value from you if you have given your sexual attention without much discretion or discernment.

How can I believe sex with you means something when the majority of the sex you have had meant nothing to you?

I can't believe a specific man who says he needs sex from me as proof of attraction and love if he has had sex for just wanting sex/being horny and it being meaningless sex (if its a pattern)

Why should i make the man feel special via sex if his sex isn't expressing i am special to him?

Ie. His sex isn't special since he just gives it out to everyone

But im supposed to give him sex to make him feel special when his sex doesn't make me feel special?

Kind of annoying. And why women expect other things beyond sex as proof that we are special to the man.

Like a man who gives sexual attention and lust out like candy at Halloween, I cannot feel like if I give him my candy it is special. I just can’t

Feeling_Ad_1034 · 2026-02-19T17:26:42+00:00

I feel like the test you’ve set up for

“men feel love through sex”

is

“You should be able to have a ONS and have him fall for you”

Otherwise “men feel love through sex” is BS

try harder.

ThatBitchA · 2026-02-19T17:50:54+00:00

I think there's no reason for ANYONE to believe that someone loves through sex.

Sex isn't an indicator of love for anyone.

Even someone who needs love before sex. The sex isn't the proof of love.

virtualPasserBy · 2026-02-19T17:54:16+00:00

Honestly, this is all just one big headache. Thank god Ive never been into relationships and romantic love, just my love for women.

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No_Mammoth8801 · 2026-02-19T17:56:49+00:00

Sorry, are you saying a man will get bored if she has sex with him too soon, but if he waits it out, he will remain interested?

I ask because the act of withholding sex doesn't actually change anything about a particular man. I always thought the waiting for sex thing was just to filter out sex-obsessed men, not to change an otherwise hit-it-and-quit-it, Madonna-whore complex oriented man into a loyal interested partner.

Plus, there are plenty of women married to men they had sex with on the first date. I'm not saying that's what women should do, as it can be risky, but sex seems to have been a non-factor.

abaxeron · 2026-02-19T17:24:53+00:00

So why wouldn’t a woman “withhold sex”

Because she calls herself heterosexual and screams at men for suggesting she might not be, if she only sees sex with men as a cost of being in a relationship.

El_Tigrex · 2026-02-19T17:38:08+00:00

Men feel loveD through sex the D is important. It’s true men can fuck women they don’t love, but that’s not really what it’s about. Vetting for girls who will have sex with you outside a relationship is to reduce the risk of being trapped in a sexless relationship with a vampire

Werevulvi · 2026-02-19T18:40:12+00:00

I may be out of the loop, but aren't most men here just saying that sex is their way of showing sexual attraction, and wanting women to "prove" our attraction to them through sex, but like it's not necessarily about love? Just attraction. And sure, maybe (romantic) love can't exist without attraction, but attraction can definitely exist without love, or care, or empathy, or any of those things.

Mobrowncheeks · 2026-02-19T19:39:01+00:00

What does feel love mean? If you mean. A man will fall in love from having sex. No he won’t in most cases

If you mean he will express love for someone through sex, yes if he’s in love already.

If you mean feel her expression love through sex. Then yes he can feel that too.

I do feel bad for women who think they can make someone fall in love through sex though.

IgorXY · 2026-02-19T17:37:03+00:00

With all these male sex related behaviours would you feel fine if the man you are dating withold sex for a long time?

secret_mysteries86 · 2026-02-19T17:40:34+00:00

I do believe some men feel love through sex and bonding . I also believe that some woman also use men for sex for thier own benefit. I dont think its fair to speak on behalf of all men or woman. Everyone has their own feelings with sex with their partners. I do agree a lot of men do use woman for sex though and yes dont care about them at all.

BathAutomatic6972 · 2026-02-19T17:46:31+00:00

Whether you believe it or not is your problem. But you can't turn around and shift blame on men on not communicating.

Also, that you think "Men are quite capable, moreso than women, to fuck someone they dont give a single shit. They can think the woman is ugly, beneath him, wouldn’t bother to know her name, and.or couldn’t care if she dies in a fire the next" speaks more about your shit than a straw gender that you're setting up.

You should also ask yourself "What other lanes have we communicated and created to show intimacy and love in a way we both recognize?" If your response is "Well, that's their/your/his problem" I would be curious how your divorce went.

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Alone_Ambition_3729 · 2026-02-19T21:16:48+00:00

Don't have anything negative to say/think about women who make a new boyfriend wait. That's her business.

But there is a fundamental difference in how men and woman experience sex, and "men feel love thru sex" is one way people try to express that difference.

I think the confusion you're having is you're thinking it means all sex is love and you're correctly pointing out that's obviously not true, but what it actually means is all love is created/maintained/strengthened thru sex.

RevolutionaryJob7908 · 2026-02-19T22:01:28+00:00

Um so... The quick answer is YES, sex is the door to their heart, not sitting around.

Also, ... YES, some men at some magical percentage of the population high or likely very low, are lying and are the most likely ones you'll NOTICE and end up dating... through looks, assets, etc, whom are... welp,.. lying to you. So the phrase is true, but to the wrong dude, can be used to get sex aswell.

It's very true, if the women are only fucked if they are special, that it might be a more balanced world, I agree.

I think your upset because someone basically lied to you recently or in the past and used you (if that's the case), and yes be 'sorta mad' but sorta not, because...

Men keep warning... stop following the top 20% and women keep saying 'I'll do what I want'. There's no real time punishment for that decision until you hit the 30s and 40s, its mostly a time crunch thing. Find the right one before the clock runs out, try to pick the best one for 'you', and try to filter out those men lying and using true slogans like sex for love, does 'almost' sound like a nightmare, but it be hard in this day and age to get sympathy on a guys side when the guys deal with horrible dating app output etc. So the guys can't say you have it worse.

Just suck it up buttercup. Men have it worse.

Emotional_Meal748 · 2026-02-20T19:50:48+00:00

Fuck love. There is fulfillment in letting yourself be used. Hopefully used for good. It’s like what we all want. To be useful for good.

3ONEthree · 2026-02-21T05:09:21+00:00

Three fundamentals to a successful marriage/relationship , 1. Mutual maximum physical attraction 2. Compatible sex drive 3. Intellectual compatibility.

burneraccountguydude · 2026-02-21T06:31:17+00:00

There’s a difference between “fucking” and making love. Just like for women men get a very strong reaction from sexual release. So of course men want to have sex with a women they are attracted too, that’s literally like the sign of attraction. And guess what it’s the same for women even if they are more hesitant.

When you withhold Sex for extended amount of time your basically saying your not attracted to him. Of course he doesn’t like that and the relationship takes a major hit. You’re indirectly attacking his identify. What your gf thinks about you is huge to your self worth. Hense it pulls such a strong emotional reaction like apathy jealousy or even a break up.

It’s not “they only want sex” it’s they are hurt and are reacting emotionally to that hurt

Reasonable_Mouse789 · 2026-02-19T17:50:29+00:00

So why wouldn’t a woman “withhold sex” when seeing the guy is relationship material and actually wants a relationship?

Desirable women basically never withhold sex, if they’re attracted to you. They literally just don’t. Bright, ambitious women typically take 3 hours or less for someone they actually want. Ignoring my own anecdotes, online dating visually proves to anyone over and over again how many great women will consent to sex with you within a few hours of meeting you. Women in the USA have mostly gotten rid of purity culture, and completely shown that any guy with enough physical desirability can get sex or relationships with great women whenever he wants (with few other traits mattering). Undesirable men (mostly due to physical traits), on the other hand, seem to get entirely ignored, or “strung along” longer, with potentially no sex happening at all. Women are the ones who have shown that “less time or effort to get sex means she wants you more”

When women give sex that openly, it creates a standard. If you don’t even kiss me on the first date, it automatically translates to a “no” in my mind. While people can pretend “some women take 3 dates”, in my experience, that’s just not how women work. If you really want me to be a dick about it, I can probably just set a 30 minute timer, and go on a walk with some young random less attractive than I am. She’ll consent every freaking time.

This also translates to relationships. If you always sleep with me when I make you happy, and then start withholding sex every time we get in an argument, then you once again give me the exact same message: women who want me sleep with me, and women who don’t will withhold.

If I had to give a counterargument: I can completely break up with a woman, but she might still sleep with me afterwards. Ironically, this is probably still a healthier dynamic than a fully intact dead bedroom relationship, though. Intimacy of any kind is preferable over being stale roommates.

SecondEldenLord · 2026-02-19T18:17:12+00:00

When I read the title I was like "what is lillith on about now"? Was not disappointed. Anyway, a man can gladly wait for sex for a woman he is emotionally attached to. But also, if that man finds out you with old sex with him but not with ever men, then he can be rightfully upset with the woman. Why should he, a man who pays for the dates, who gives the woman flowers, who treats her like a princess should wait 5 months for sex while another guy who treated her like crap got sex in 2 days? How is that fair?

Jonsummerz · 2026-02-19T18:43:56+00:00

Your logic does not hold whatsoever: just because a person can do an action without feelings about that action, does not mean that the action cannot be a critical part of a relationship. Simple example:

Washing the dishes can be done by and for a woman and it can mean very little to her. But for the same woman, if she's in a 30-year marriage, and her husband expects her to cook every night, she might be extremely agitated that he never does the dishes.

Alarmiorc2603 · 2026-02-19T23:40:54+00:00

This is a obvious logic fail, just becuase you can have sex without emotion doesn't mean that emotion isn't required for an emotional connection.

That's like saying because you can eat without enjoying the food, enjoyment isn’t required for a great dining experience.

Avanni24 · 2026-02-19T17:44:01+00:00

Men can fuck people they don't love. But if you love a man and want the same you should fuck him.

Outside_Memory5703 · 2026-02-19T18:22:22+00:00

Why not, when they say so, and their actions agree?

FriendlyCapybara1234 · 2026-02-19T18:42:19+00:00

Men feel unloved through lack of sex.

nsfwthrowaway6996 · 2026-02-19T19:54:30+00:00

What are "beta male" traits?

TheRedPillRipper · 2026-02-19T19:25:47+00:00

”Choose better” and “watch what they do

The luxury of choice sets up a dilemma; if a woman matches with a man who is attractive enough and wants to make him wait? He is not going to be bothered by it. Conversely if she sleeps with him, she is still subject to his continuing on the relationship in any context. Presumably an undesirable outcome too.

Women have the right to choose either way. This however does not negate the dilemma of that choice. It is that simple.

DietTyrone · 2026-02-19T19:58:15+00:00

Don't think I've heard men say that. I've heard guys say hookups make them feel desired, and this is because they know how many options women have. So being picked by multiple women in their prime is definitely an ego boost. But a casual hookup alone doesn't say anything about if you're loved or not. That's more often than not just lust. You need some other factors to call it potentially love.

Title	There is no reason for women to ever believe “men feel love through sex”.
Author	LillthOfBabylon
Upvotes	0
Comments	209
Date	February 19, 2026 5:21 PM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1r958gr/there_is_no_reason_for_women_to_ever_believe_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/there-is-no-reason-for-women-to-ever-believe-men.1573824 https://theredarchive.com/post/1573824

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