LVM interactions with your pets that set off alarms?

dancedance_83 · 2021-02-23T04:08:10+00:00

He asked me if he could tell my blind and old dog to stop whining. I was raised that guests don’t try to punish/apprehend other people’s pets...

blackflowerx3 · 2021-02-23T04:29:20+00:00

My ex was jealous of my cat and said almost the exact same thing about him that yours said about your hamster.

He also sued me after we broke up and tried to take my cat from me, claiming he was his.

My same cat, now about to be 10 years old, has attacked several guys I've dated and I trust him and his assessments of men more than anyone else. Pets know; trust them.

pickadaisy · 2021-02-23T03:24:32+00:00

A toxic ex of mine I’ve written a few posts about had an instant, indescribable connection to my cat. As roommates, he still sends me photos of my cat in the sun or in a cute shape. He cat parented in a lot of ways when we dated.

The problem was that I had NO idea what a healthy relationship looked like with a man and my pet. I had only obvious bad or neglectful examples. It took me a long time to realize that a man best not be claiming to love and parent my cat if the only time he scoops the litter is when I ask. If he’s not in anyway handling vet appointments (coming with me is not the same as even 50/50 but I didn’t know). If he’s not ensuring we have food for him. Yes, he fed him at times, but he was never responsible for cleaning out bowls or fountains.

This guy would do anything I asked. He pulled the wool over my eyes for so long — but mostly because I had such low expectations.

spinsterchachkies · 2021-02-23T05:49:04+00:00

I had a bf in high school that said that about my cat and when I broke up with him he threatened to come over and k*ll him.

My last ex bf said my small yorkie was “a red flag because women in their mid 20s substitute affection that should be for their children with pets.” 🤨 I was like, get out.

mjkmeow83 · 2021-02-23T03:16:00+00:00

My ex hated one of my old cats. Everyone else was totally in love with my Pooh Bear but my ex hated him. When Pooh when cuddle up to me he would push him on the floor. Then Pooh would hide behind the couch and growl. Pooh then did this every time he came over and my ex would get mad. The final straw for me was the day he went after Pooh and had him so terrified that Pooh crapped on the floor which he had never ever done. He told me he would never live with me as long as I had pets. Farewell to him and I now have 4 cats instead of 2 that I had when we were dating. They are far better company.

Useful-Lion · 2021-02-23T04:07:53+00:00

I don’t know but I do know that every time I drag a guy home I feel embarrassed for my cat to witness him 😂 because she’s just so much better and classier and above it all. That should really tell me something.

mackenzie013 · 2021-02-23T03:58:27+00:00

My first requirement is that my dog loves them. He’s a pretty good judge if something feels off in the way the guy behaves.

He’s a German Shepherd and he saved me from shitty encounters a few times (one time this guy, super high on something, was following us and my dog alerted me and then scared the guy off with a low single bark lol).

purasangria · 2021-02-23T03:38:18+00:00

I tell people, "Be gentle with my cats," and if he's rough with them, that's a total red flag and I won't see him again.

c_a_t_lady · 2021-02-23T04:35:07+00:00

I would stay away from a person who hates cats. Because I personally love cats and want to have some in the future, so it would likely become an issue. 😿 It would just be related to compatibility! Of course, if they were otherwise perfect, not having cats could be something I reconsider. But if they actually HATE (I am not talking about a fear) some animal, that would be a bit of a red flag. 🤨

On the other hand, if a person likes cats (and maybe even has cats), I see that as a bonus. 🥰

Curiousquest2 · 2021-02-23T03:39:05+00:00

My dog is literally like my child. Even before FDS I would cut a scrote off ASAP if he talked to my dog shitty or if my dog didn’t like them. You are their world and they can sense people with ill intent.

mackenzie013 · 2021-02-23T03:58:54+00:00

My first requirement is that my dog loves them. He’s a pretty good judge if something feels off in the way the guy behaves.

He’s a German Shepherd and he saved me from shitty encounters a few times (one time this guy, super high on something, was following us and my dog alerted me and then scared the guy off with a low single bark lol).

notthatkindofdoctorb · 2021-02-23T07:34:27+00:00

Jealousy, cruelty, or dismissiveness are obviously big ones but I have noticed another one as well. My previous dog was wary of unfamiliar men and while she was harmless, she could put on quite a show of barking and growling. She was a big girl and a "bully" breed so I totally understood that it could make people uncomfortable and was always careful to make proper introductions and have her on a leash. The only people I ever saw react with anger to her little displays were the kind of men who fancied themselves "alpha males." (I don't mean just guys who were strong and tough-I mean the guys who literally cling to the notion of alpha maleness as a mask for insecurities.)

Like I said, she was always leashed and under control but some men would really flip out and get all blustery and shouty instead of just ignoring her like I suggested. My theory is that they are used to seeing themselves as "top dog," so to speak, in terms of ability to intimidate and control others and they absolutely could not fucking handle it when the tables were turned. They were angry because they were scared and didn't know how to regain control. Simple as that.

dovecharm · 2021-02-23T05:00:10+00:00

Whenever I would cuddle or kiss my dog, my ex would become insecure and jealous. Literally. Like yes, of course I love my dog so much but to be jealous? A bit ridiculous. Maybe not a red flag but definitely off-putting. I’d give it a yellow flag ranking.

basicbagels · 2021-02-23T03:08:01+00:00

Yes. It tells you everything. Trust no scrote who is bad with your cats (or pets). At all.

blessedwiththree · 2021-02-23T03:24:13+00:00

My ex husband complained to his mom that I "loved" my dogs "too much" and he didn't know if he could handle it. His mom told me jokingly, but I look back and see what a huge red flag it was. Both of my dogs I got as puppies. I got one my final year of College and one my final year of High School (so one was 8/9 years old and the other was about 4-5). They were well trained, easy keepers and there was no reason for him to say he couldn't handle it. Later on, after I married him, he was very jealous of his own children. He is, at the very least, high on the narcissism scale, but he is extremely good at "being the victim" and appearing to have empathy. He is most likely a covert narcissist. He came off like a man who really understood feelings, but it turned out that only his feelings mattered (and other's feelings were just ammo to manipulate and get what he wanted). If a man cannot tolerate sharing attention with pets or acts in a cruel manner to pets, get the hell out as fast as you can!

Exsqueeze_meh · 2021-02-23T06:27:11+00:00

I took my two dogs on a first dinner date with a scrote i met online once. He was named after a hard liquor ... the scrote not my dog, i should’ve known!!

It was patio seating and dogs are allowed. First, he didn’t greet them in the slightest 🚩🚩🚩... second, one of my dogs took a giant shit right as we were being seated 😂 ... i should’ve know this scrote would be an angry #whataboutmen crybaby. He was. Date was awful. Unfortunately that was before i stopped thinking i had to consider everyone’s feelings all the damn time, so i endured it and dint talk much as he whined and complained about all the women taking his jobs now. 🙄🙄🙄

My dogs intuition was right, steaming pile of crap ... she called it! 🤣

Gourmay · 2021-02-23T06:21:46+00:00

My previous cat (a HVM, HVC?) hissed at everyone but my family (apparently siamese cats need longer than others before you can wean them) and my lovely ex waited years to be able to pet him. There was always some person who came over and expected immediate petting privileges..

Also reactions when your pet dies are very telling. I had just broken up with a man when mine died and he still called me from abroad, listened to me cry and provided support. Basic human kindness.

mtan15 · 2021-02-23T09:48:05+00:00

I heard a saying that this reminds me of. That cats are animals of consent, only those who don't care to gain consent hate cats. I'll never forget that

NowTruly · 2021-02-23T07:07:48+00:00

Unfortunately, I’ve learned that it’s true that how a man treats animals reveals how he’ll treat children.

My LVM ex took care of my dog while I was gone for work on an extended assignment. Had me swooning over all the cute face-to-face photos he was taking with my dog — I couldn’t believe how he was doting on him!

Until I got back.

He’d been giving my dog A LOT of snacks to win his loyalty. My normally 45lb dog was nearly 60 lbs when I came back. (That’s a 33% rapid weight gain on a small old dog’s frame!) I had to take him to the vet to safely bring his weight down.

And he was doing this while he was emotionally neglecting my old man at the same time. (He’d take the photos because it made him look like an attentive dog dad, without actually doing any of the work.) I didn’t understand how truly stressed and lonely my dog was from the weird relationship until later.

Now? I get to enjoy joint custody of a toddler with this shithead.

Guess who gives this small child all the chocolate he wants with no boundaries, while taking a bunch of FB photos of his “Dad Time” ... only to then sit him in front of the TV for hours on end. 😑

PollyAnnaSunshine · 2021-02-23T14:55:07+00:00

My ex was nice to my first cat who was an old tabby (RIP 🐱💝💐) but then when we moved in together and we got a kitten while my family pet stayed with my mom. He was jealous of my attention to the kitten and told me he didn’t like her, he also called her “stupid” and “shitty” and one time she did a hurt or scared meow and he made fun of that. I really started to hate him bc of this. When we broke up he threatened to let her outside the house and also to destroy my paw print from my old boy who had died. I threw him out of our apartment and made him give me the keys.

I love my kitten (now 4) and spoil the heck out of her.

So yes, if a man will call a baby animal stupid and get jealous of them, he’s trash.

UnderwaterWriter · 2021-02-23T14:42:19+00:00

I had a guy shove one of my cats off the bed because he thought we were going to have sex. My cat was asleep too!? I kicked him out so fast it made his head spin. Spent the night holding and caressing my cat. Who needs a LVM anyway?

sassyheather · 2021-02-23T08:23:58+00:00

My ex loved my cat (duh, she’s awesome) but she never let him get any affection from her. Time after time I tried explaining to him how to act with her and how to pet her because she’s not a dog like the pets he was used to. Well, he listened but never did as I said. I am not even sorry she scratched and attacked him. Maybe she sensed he treated me terribly during our relationship.

ladylabrys · 2021-02-23T07:37:53+00:00

I hope this is allowed because my red-flag pet story is about an ex-girlfriend.

My gf at the time begged and begged for us to get a pet rabbit and eventually we did. Rabbits are slow to trust, so everyday I'd spend over an hour sitting on the floor with the bunny, just reading and letting him approach me on his own. I invited my gf to join me over and over, but she'd scoff at how boring it was.

After a couple weeks, the bunny was jumping in my lap begging for treats and pets. My gf rushed over to get attention too, but-- being practically a stranger to him-- scared him away.

This sent her into a rage, and she started shouting at ME, telling me how unfair it was and that she didn't want him if he didn't "love" her too. I regret to say that we stayed together for way too long.

Anyway, I took the rabbit when we broke up and he's still a sweet little bab with a huge personality.

fdsonlynoscrubs · 2021-02-23T14:32:41+00:00

He made my dog sleep in her crate on a different floor. I shouldn’t have allowed this, I still feel guilty about it, but he was having problems sleeping and I thought it was a compromise that would help him sleep. No. Never again. My dog and I left him a long time ago and we will never bother his sleep again.

the_ghost_of_ · 2021-02-23T11:55:21+00:00

My roommate's boyfriend set my ferret loose during the winter. We never found her. My heart breaks for that poor baby. He also abused their puppy. Ladies, there's a reason animal abuse is a red flag, and it's cuz that's where serial killers start.

helppleasekk · 2021-02-23T12:15:45+00:00

I had a LVM friend who would flirt sometimes. The more comfortable he got with me the more his low qualities would come out. He and I got in an argument over something so small and stupid. It took him less than 20 seconds to go nuclear and say he hopes my guinea pigs die. I consider that nuclear because everyone who knows me knows my guinea pigs are the most important things in the world to me. I cut him off completely at that second.

About a year later he found me through neutral friends and tried to slither his way into getting me to buy him a video game. He was sooo manipulative. Off topic, I almost did buy him the game because I was growing as a Christian and thought I should give to those that ask. I called my dad for advice and he said "Remember what Jesus said to his apostles before they sent them to minister to people "Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves." being wise as a serpent means being aware of people who will take advantage of you for selfishness sake. That LVM went on to manipulate one of his guy friends into loaning him the money to buy the game. As far as I know he still hasn't paid him back (this was 4-5 months ago)

Sewud · 2021-02-23T18:42:08+00:00

My ex didn't get along with my dog because he was an asshole. I get along with all dogs because I'm not an asshole. It's that simple. But back then I was such a pickme that I thought it would be too "demanding" to expect a boyfriend to get along with a dog. I don't know why, but I always expected so much less from men. I can be loving and happy to be around a partner's dog. But for some reason I thought about men "oh he can't be perfect, I can't ask that of him". Like all this stuff that is easy for me I didn't expect from men.

sybildb · 2021-02-23T15:22:46+00:00

I thought I was the only one who noticed this! All the guys I’ve known that like dogs and hate cats have abusive and controlling qualities about them. I understand having a preference between the two, but guys who are hardcore only dog people are a red flag imo. I’m not sure exactly what it is but they’re typically control-freaks with toxic masculinity tendencies.

In short, cat guys are the best.

fdssavedmylife · 2021-02-23T15:57:25+00:00

I broke up with someone (and that was very rare for me) because he didn’t care about my dog. Unfortunately for him, I am obsessed with my dog. After five years, my camera roll is still filled with photos of him. I recently bought a pet camera and just watch him sleep all day. He’s the love of my life.

Anyway, I digress. So this LVM would never react or respond to the dog photos I sent. I called him out on it and he was like, “What do you want me to say? It’s just a photo of a dog. Why would I care about that?” Umm maybe because he’s important to me and also freakin’ adorable??? Whatever, bye!

catandalady9 · 2021-02-23T12:04:41+00:00

I remember specifically the first night my ex was over. We had my bedroom door closed. Opened it when he had to go home, and my cat did a cute belly roll in front of his feet (asking for rubs basically) and he STEPPED over him and completely ignored him. That made my heart sink.

InsoucianceISay · 2021-02-23T22:56:09+00:00

My ex would say unkind things about our critters or mock them (ex: dog came into the kitchen and was dancing around in excitement, and ex said in a rude voice, "Oh, look at me, I'm a stupid dog, look at me, I'm dancing around like a retard".) And yet weirdly, he LOVED our pets, so... wtf??? I would tell him he was being mean, and he would brush me off with, "Whatever, they don't know what I'm saying". And I would point out, "Yes, but YOU know what you're saying".

Looking back, it should have been a red flag: he can 'love' someone and still see no problem being disrespectful and unkind.

Honestly_th0 · 2021-02-24T08:00:12+00:00

Threatening to or actually giving pets drugs. (Yes, this happened. He threatened to dose my cat with acid. I moved out, he got a cat, and did it to his until the poor thing went crazy 😤)

sammytheforsaken · 2021-02-23T11:43:08+00:00

I bought a beautiful used aquarium in perfect shape for a great price from my student money and was so happy about it. But I wasn't able to transfer my fish into it at that time. The only place we had where I could temporarily store it was in my now ex boyfriends work room, in which he smoked all the time. He promised me to smoke outside until the empty aquarium was moved and then I caught him smoking in the room. Like, the balcony was 3 feet from his desk. How little can you do for your partner? Ridiculous. There's no day I'm not grateful that I dumped his ass. Also, of course, he didn't like cats.

Interesting_Day1188 · 2021-02-23T17:20:38+00:00

Ironically enough, I just was out on my daily walk to help me not go insane from Quarantine. There was the cutest, prettiest white kitty that came over and let me play fight with her. She was demanding the play time.

I know it's Covid... but she was so pretty, and she wouldn't leave me alone until I played with her. <3

frogchickenhorse · 2021-02-23T07:25:27+00:00

Both my cats got bladder blockages around the same time as I had a flash in the plan relationship. I also had a date in December and my boy was at the vets for a week with another blockage. I had to surrender one of my cats due to him needing to be the only pet. I also have an elderly dog. I will always have pets in my life.

haunted_vcr · 2021-02-26T20:43:02+00:00

Thankfully not an interaction with an actual pet, since I do not have one at the moment but still bad:

This guy knew I love cats and want to get one when I'm a bit more financially established and have a roomier home. I grew up with a cat and it was my best friend when I was a toddler.

He showed me this "funny" (as he put it) article about a vet who effed up end of care for a very sick old cat. He then said he thinks it's funny because cats aren't really pets, they're just internet memes and serve no purpose. I was horrified since this guy seemed completely normal and even kind. I haven't spent any time with him since.

Title	LVM interactions with your pets that set off alarms?
Author	Bubbly-Manufacturer
Upvotes	233
Comments	74
Date	February 23, 2021 2:58 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/lq7f9n/lvm_interactions_with_your_pets_that_set_off/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/lvm-interactions-with-your-pets-that-set-off.744789 https://theredarchive.com/post/744789

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