Like many of you powerful ladies, I have officially quit the online dating game. Some like to comment about how that's where you found your HVM... And maybe you did, years ago. I hold the belief that the days of online dating are over because men no longer seek connection on these platforms. Just Google how many cases of stalking, murder, and rape happen because of Tinder, Bumble, etc. Like everything men touch in society, OLD has become a game of strategy, violence, and objectification (like how men have ruined marriage, video games, My Little Pony, my list goes on). Based on my many experiences dating online, which included four months of manipulation from COUNTLESS men (#NOTALLMEN), one STI, two incidents that nearly ended in rape, and a man peeing in a bush after our second date, I'm here to share one simple reminder:

Coffee and walk dates aren't just cheap—they are designed for (you guessed it) the man's social benefit

First of all, when you accept the bare minimum at the outset, you are not going to get the relationship you strive for. You will end up insecure, sexually frustrated, and highly caffeinated because all your crusty LVM boyfriend will buy you is a Dunkin' Donuts drink at happy hour. He won't value you getting dressed for dates, buying him thoughtful presents, creating close bonds with his family, or planning dates 🤡. He will know you are so desperate for male attention (which, by the way, is worth nothing) that you are willing to go on a coffee date with any couch creature who sends you a DM.

But most importantly, I want to point out that coffee and walk dates are specifically designed for you not to feel any chemistry with the man on the other side of the table, or sitting cozily in a cheap leather chair in Starbucks. This is a date he is on WITH HIMSELF, and you are just along for the ride. Coffee dates are not FOR us, they are for men to go on an hour-long tirade about themselves and feel validated for how amazing, special, and deserving of $3 pussy they are before you hopefully have the sense to crawl out the bathroom window and block, block, BLOCK his ass on your way home.

STOP entertaining coffee and walk dates. Worst case scenario, you just wasted your finite time on this beautiful planet with a man you will never see again or who will treat your body the way he treats your time: like it's worth $3 that he charges on a Starbucks gift card he got at the office Christmas party. Best case scenario, you feel like you made him happy by sitting in front of a stranger with your hair and makeup done, listening to him go on and on about his job, family, and friends; you feed that people pleaser in you and revert to your pickmeisha ways. Meanwhile he's sitting there, smug that he bagged a woman like you for a deal even Walmart wouldn't price match.

Under NO conditions would a coffee or walk date be acceptable for a HVW

How could it possibly serve you to share a caffeinated beverage with a literal stranger, in hopes he will call you back for date two? We all know the second date will involve him escalating his narcissism and expecting you to do exactly what you did the first time: devalue your time and space for a little bit of male attention. Do not grace these men with your presence, and don't you dare disrespect your $30 blush compact, $1000/yr workout routine, and the POWER of FDS by wasting your time on these $10 "dates."

If you want a man to give you a TEDx talk, go online. If you want a coffee, buy one for yourself without a man next to you going on a tirade about how American Psycho is the best film of all time. You are a QUEEN, and last time I checked, Queens don't leave the castle in the off-chance a scoundrel might actually be a prince. That's because she's got Queen shit to do.