Had a comment removed from a different sub because telling someone to wait longer than 2 dates to have sex is apparently “dehumanizing” to men?

2021-03-13T19:52:53+00:00

[deleted]

Geocities_SEO_Expert · 2021-03-13T19:44:39+00:00

Poor woman. Modern "dating" forces women into unnatural situations, and men won't even let them have a natural reaction after the fact.

Mcccy · 2021-03-13T19:18:11+00:00

How dare you not have s£x with a complete stranger! /S

pinkcityscape · 2021-03-13T20:03:43+00:00

You were downvoted because it was true lol

daisy_0720 · 2021-03-13T21:12:53+00:00

[deleted]

lottienina · 2021-03-13T20:05:21+00:00

I feel like waiting for sex is really key. It weeds out the men that are only looking for a quick hookup. Most men will tell you absolutely anything you want to hear to get into your pants, but fortunately, that sort usually has no patience and can’t last past 3 dates, 4 tops. I also think when a HV man likes you, they WANT to get to know YOU. Sex is just something to look forward to in their peripheral vision, but they don’t mind waiting, because they’re so interested and fascinated by the woman as a person, not just as a means to an end (the end being sexual gratification).

I think this ties into why women have deeper and more meaningful friendships / relationships that’s not romantic. We’re capable of seeing someone as a person and being super excited to meet them and get to know them, I know I still smile thinking about when I first met some of my closest gfs. Scrotes have no concept of that feeling, because they don’t view women as complex beings (honestly they don’t even view other men as that, just as people to impress), they view women as nothings, we’re basically a cardboard box In their minds- something to be used, but it’s empty and valueless. I think that’s what gives a HV male some of his value, he’s evaluating a woman he likes the same way that women do when making friends.

oddcharm · 2021-03-13T20:18:09+00:00

[deleted]

Br0ther-Finger · 2021-03-13T20:19:16+00:00

I personally don’t agree with playing the game on a man’s term as it’s only keeping a lion on a leash till they bite, which lvm with a Madonna-Whore complex will. Though I agree with saying hey too many men are misogynistic and will take advantage of you sexually if you don’t constantly vet their character. So waiting isn’t bad if you’re looking for someone serious and yes even a trustworthy casual partner is worth testing grounds with. Yet apparently it is bad to mention that now only because they claim it’s not “sexual liberty”.

Sometimes I wonder if Libfems didn’t attend sex-ed as their concerns for std’s and std testing is not there? But at their same breath it’s too many men. Libfems will constantly put women in dangerous situations sexually because it’s liberating to give a man a free sex trial that you can’t even cum from. I hate that the world is like this too, but developing boundaries as a women is important. Also the idea women should get over it, belittles her experience. Gaslighting women being hurt and telling other women to get over being crossed since it’s just sex 😉(being used emotionally). Is exactly what an mra or pua would say. Women’s emotions are just exaggerations haha get over your feelings hon /s .

A man should be graced to get a date with you. He’s there to prove he reaches a high standard, and if he can’t pass the basic requirements, byee👋👋 . There are too many scums walking around, and women shouldn’t put up with it. The day men as a whole can honestly respect what a woman’s boundaries are instead of crossing grey lines and taking advantage of us, I’ll change my mind.

spinsterchachkies · 2021-03-13T19:24:54+00:00

I don’t know why that was downvoted because it’s completely true and men will tell you that to your face but downvote you on Reddit for repeating the shit they say

soleirolias · 2021-03-13T19:52:03+00:00

“hate groups” ffs 🤦‍♀️

Human_Summer_1709 · 2021-03-13T22:15:04+00:00

So many science deniers on that thread smh.

I've been lurking on that sub, mostly for the entertainment (like watching a trainwreck). I am legitimately shocked at the number of women 30+ who DO NOT GET IT.

Everyone other post is about some 30+ woman crying about the guy she slept with within 1-3 dates who is now ghosting her, and she is COMPLETELY CLUELESS as to why.

_differentmentality_ · 2021-03-13T19:35:08+00:00

He just wanted to hook up and when they did he no longer saw any value in talking to her, that simple. This is the kind of men you want nothing to do with when looking for a relationship, how are you going to do that when you’re sleeping with them on the second date sis? Of course these scrotes will take advantage of the opportunity you’re giving them...

souredskittles · 2021-03-13T19:58:45+00:00

Of course they are trying to protect their male centric narrative

pickmieshaexorcist · 2021-03-13T21:53:50+00:00

It could also have nothing to do with the comment itself. Mods on other subs will look through your posting history and then just ban or censor you if you post here. We’ve had ladies banned in hobby or fandom subs, not even related to dating or anything, for just daring to comment whilst a member of this sub. It’s sad and small-minded.

queen_beastmode · 2021-03-13T23:13:33+00:00

That particular sub and the posts on it have convinced me that dating is just a waste of time and a sap of my vital energy because it's all gross old 40+ year old dudes who think dating a 30 year old is doing her a favor and chicks who get pumped and dumped.

janeaustenfan99 · 2021-03-13T20:10:31+00:00

Men and women cannot have a truthful dialogue about dating in one forum because our needs and interests are opposed. There’s always gonna be conflict around this.

I think most women either don’t want to admit or simply don’t understand that we are wired differently biologically and casual sex is neither safe nor beneficial for us (for the most part). And of course men don’t want this discussed or acknowledged out in the open because it doesn’t benefit their depraved and ever present urges.

_queeeen_ · 2021-03-13T22:26:09+00:00

Your advice was perfectly reasonable and good. We get to choose the meaning sex carries for us. Yes, even as high-libido women we can opt not to have sex. THIS is what it means to be sexually empowered.

nieces-pieces · 2021-03-14T02:37:16+00:00

How the fuck are men being dehumanized by using US as objects????

INSERT DWORKIN QUOTE:

Men often react to women’s words—speaking and writing—as if they were acts of violence; sometimes men react to women’s words with violence.

Salt_Satisfaction · 2021-03-13T21:52:15+00:00

[deleted]

RabidWench · 2021-03-13T23:45:11+00:00

This has been going on for a long time, and has nothing to do with the content of your comment. They are modded by men and use FDS membership and participation as an excuse to ban you. They include all those other subs because everyone knows they're hateful; they ban FDS because we say things that tank their dating strats. They think that maybe, just maybe, if they lump FDS in with the hate subs enough then people will assume FDS is hateful too.

There's hate alright, but it isn't on our end.

uncertainkoala · 2021-03-13T20:33:08+00:00

LMAO I didn’t realize advocating for women to realize their self-worth and not put up with abusive men, relationships, pedophilia, sex addiction and bad relationships made us a “hate group!!”

Imaginary-Driver-767 · 2021-03-13T21:23:27+00:00

How dare you try to deprive men of their entitlement and right to women’s bodies by using logic./s

dembar126 · 2021-03-13T20:53:40+00:00

Men: "Lol I don't wanna date no thot. If she sleeps with me on the first date she's not gf material!"

Women: "If you're looking for a serious relationship, don't have sex with men right away."

Reddit mods: "YOUR COMMENT HAS BEEN REMOVED FOR THE FOLLOWING REASONS:

• You were a big fat hairy man-hating meanie. You should be ashamed of yourself for dehumanizing men, you stupid b!tch."

yoursultana · 2021-03-13T21:17:02+00:00

Reddit is actually just South Park playing out irl.

seraphinelysion · 2021-03-13T23:09:28+00:00

Hey, at least your ban kind of makes sense? I was permanently banned from a dating sub that I was subscribed to but have NEVER participated in. I just got a random notification one day that I was permanently banned. Like, ok, petty much? 😂

ferociouslycurious · 2021-03-13T21:38:12+00:00

WTAF. They clearly don’t understand what the word means.

Platipus6 · 2021-03-13T23:13:43+00:00

Got banned from /dating for posting HERE that dating advice from men, only helps LVM. Like duh. scrotes mad.

You got banned for participating here, not for what you wrote.

thinktwiceorelse · 2021-03-13T23:50:35+00:00

Hate group my ass. It's more like that famous photo of a girl giving flowers to soldiers who are pointing guns at her.

anotherdamnloser · 2021-03-14T01:22:19+00:00

That’s ridiculous. Nothing but hate for women who want to be treated even with a shred of decency. Deleting your comment is dehumanizing. Men do NOT have a right to our bodies! Saying if we don’t let them is dehumanizing them? THEM?? Wtf about US?!?

KateJ1982 · 2021-03-14T03:25:12+00:00

Just who is dehumanizing whom here? The woman who waits to get to know a man before having sex or the guys that are only using women for sex before dumping them? This fool actually says it's dehumanizing not to let men dehumanize women.

butterballnook · 2021-03-14T03:00:51+00:00

Telling the truth about men is offensive in the mainstream.

Revy_Ur_Engines · 2021-03-14T06:37:29+00:00

This topic drives me nuts. Women have every right to not sleep with men on early dates. We risk our health and safety just to have sex with a stranger. Dudes literally think that if you refuse to have sex and just want to get to know them, you aren’t attracted to them. How arrogant to think it’s all about you. Women are trying to protect themselves. Any man that thinks his dick is more important in forming a relationship is trash. When you keep fucking from early on, you don’t get the chance to date properly. Certain orange/red flags are missed because you already had sex. I keep seeing articles that promote having sex on the first few dates. What worked for a few is just an exception to the rule. I’m so tired of women being told to risk their health and safety to maybe secure a relationship.

3lbsofjewelry · 2021-03-14T02:38:08+00:00

I still fail to see how we are a hate group.... Like, how??? Women looking after other women is not anything like a hate group.

aellope · 2021-03-14T04:43:55+00:00

This is good advice overall, but not exactly why we make men wait to have sex. We don't want the dudes who only value us if we make them wait. Those dudes are also low value and misogynistic. The waiting just weeds out those who are too impatient and only want sex.

achelois_healer · 2021-03-14T00:10:38+00:00

People can’t handle the truth

fierce_and_mighty · 2021-03-14T03:17:04+00:00

The fuck

the-worst- · 2021-03-14T15:09:47+00:00

This reminds me of how I used to use sex as a form of self harm, back when I turned 18. I would outright post on meetme about how I hate myself and am dtf, anyone wanna help?

So. Many. Men. Responded. So many who knew I was doing it as self harm but just... Didn't care. They just wanted quick action. Only one guy was slightly concerned, but even he wanted sex too...

In a span of 3 months I slept with over 20 different men, most never seeing me again. I'm glad I didn't get pregnant or any sti's.

(Don't worry, my depression is treated and hopefully over with, now I just have ADHD to worry about.)

aquietsword · 2021-03-15T05:37:26+00:00

I have a feeling the more fds becomes popular the more male mods will censor speech that goes against their best interest. Try to control the narrative as much as possible so people keep thinking casual sex is the norm. The massive male ecochamber on reddit was the only reason I thought any of this was normal before fds. As always, thank god for the mods here.

2021-03-14T08:06:10+00:00

Wow. That's... just wow. I'd love for them to explain exactly how it is dehumanising. The introspection is weak in that mod/sub.

Honestly_th0 · 2021-03-14T13:47:54+00:00

This is outrageous. FDS is literally one of the least hateful places on the internet 😤

Lazy-Tax3986 · 2021-03-14T00:00:33+00:00

I think we tow a fine line between trying not to victim blame her for not waiting long enough and trying to help women understand that gatekeeping, vetting, and waiting longer for sex is for OUR self interest. I think the key is not to shame/guilt her for what she DID in this situation, but to give her advice on what to do in the FUTURE.

I had a question for FDS, what do I do if I have a very high libido? I haven't dated in over a year, been totally man-free, date-free, sex-free for over a year. But when I was dating, I would wait about a month, sometimes 2 months. I couldn't wait longer because I was attracted to the man and I wanted to know what he tasted like, I wanted the feel of his skin on mine, the feeling of his chest pressed against mine. It's like when you're horny, the world suddenly becomes a blurry glittery glow and he smells like candy and intrigue and happiness. His jawline, the curl in his hair every so slightly sweeping over his forehead, the glint in his eye when he confidently knows how he makes you feel. It all becomes this hazy dreamy existence. How do we combat that as FDS women?!

Title	Had a comment removed from a different sub because telling someone to wait longer than 2 dates to have sex is apparently “dehumanizing” to men?
Author	veruscka
Upvotes	470
Comments	76
Date	March 13, 2021 7:13 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/m4d2in/had_a_comment_removed_from_a_different_sub/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/had-a-comment-removed-from-a-different-sub-because.779445 https://theredarchive.com/post/779445

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