I've always thought of myself as a strong person, but FDS made me realize how I've let people trample my boundaries for my entire life.

I'd also like to note that I'm on the spectrum. I had a really dysfunctional childhood and I learned v early how to mask, so most people don't know. Still, I do struggle with social situations.

So, after a betrayal on my husband's part, I put my foot down. I told him that either he becomes the husband I want, or we're done. I told him that I don't even want a fair partnership anymore (which was a joke cause I earn a lot, sometimes more than him, and took care of everything with our kids and our home). I told him I now demand to be worshipped by him.
Ladies, I have a brand new marriage. After years of him telling me that he's trying to change, but it's a slow process, suddenly he's able to change in a flat second! Amazing.

But something just...snapped in me and I'm no longer able to tolerate bad treatment from anyone.

I'm never rude, disrespectful, or insulting. I just firmly say "no" and let me tell you, it's got everyone MAD AS HELL.

To be honest, I'm shocked at the drama and not sure how to cope.

In just the past week:

- After a close friend kept trying to persuade me to do something I didn't want to do, I finally just wrote "No". I got a long text and a tearful phone call about how I triggered her past with her own parents, and she felt paralyzed. In the past I would have apologized. I didn't. I listened to her and said "I put up a boundary, that's all". When she began shouting at me, I said to her that I wasn't going to be shouted at, and put the phone down. She hasn't spoken to me since.

- I seldom get involved in my daughters' friend drama, but after I heard that a close friend was teasing her over a health issue, I wrote to the mom (with whom I'm friendly):
"Please ask Mia not to tease Kate about xyz". The mother's a social worker. She called me up and started trying to lecture me about trust or something. After a few mins of her going on and on I said "Look, talk to her, don't talk to her, it's ok with me." That seemed to infuriate her and she started shouting at me. I put the phone down. Ten mins later she texted me to say that she spoke to her daughter who admitted to teasing my daughter about the issue, and that the daughter is sorry about it. That's it. We haven't spoken since.

- My mom fell and hurt her arm. My mom has a personality disorder, so I knew that she'd use to try to squeeze every last ounce of energy from me for the foreseeable future. My sister lives far, and my brother's an entitled ah, so it's always on me. I put up boundaries, but that's also exhausting.

I took my mom to the ER and got her treatment, but told her and my brother that I would not be available the rest of the week unless there was an emergency, and that if that happens, she can ask my brother for help.

My brother went absolutely batshit and started writing the most disgusting things to me. I wrote that if he thinks I'm going to stick around and tolerate his abuse, he's got another think coming. Told him that he's welcome to contact me again when he finds a way to be grateful to me and my sister for carrying the emotional, financial, logistical, and sometimes physical weight of our mother for all these years and finds some humility.

Then I blocked and deleted, cause I realized that while I love him, I really love me more. I've never done anything like that before in my entire life.

So is this a common thing? People getting angry and abusive when you put up boundaries?

I honestly feel pretty shell-shocked, sad, and exhausted, like I'm grieving my relationships, but I also feel like I can't go back.