I Feel Robbed

life-is-short- · 2023-12-01T00:41:32+00:00

Most of us are robbed. Worst ever contract I signed.

AlmostThere22 · 2023-12-01T01:13:24+00:00

I've noticed a trend. Whenever a man relocates for a woman. No matter what the reason. It always ends in a split of the relationship.

Force the sale of the house.

Do not allow this woman to live in her dream home in her home town. Getting to live in that home is the privilege of being with you.

I don't care if youre worried about the kids or not. Force the sale of the house and the bitch can go live in a shitty apartment.

northdakotact · 2023-12-01T00:36:32+00:00

Just moved to dream home in her hometown a year ago.

Let me guess, she has family or a support network in that town yes?

Plenty-Entertainer71 · 2023-12-01T00:40:03+00:00

I like you was convinced by my ex to sell my house that I bought before I married her and moved to her hometown and buy her dream house that she wanted. Luckily I told her no but that was the downfall of our marriage. It sucks but you need to come to terms that your wife is no more, she’s not really yours it’s just your turn. All you really need to focus on now is to be the best version of you and a best father figure for your kids

Character_Hippo90 · 2023-12-01T01:41:54+00:00

If anything, learn that you can NEVER project your hopes and dreams upon the shoulders of another. Life is truly a private affair, and other than the smiles of our kids, we don't honestly know how or what our partners feel and think. It's crazy how we must go through our days merely capable of making assumptions, never assured of anything. Yet that's just the way it is. I'm sorry that you had to meet us in such a vile way, but here we all are, gaining knowledge with each tear drop.

puckhead11 · 2023-12-01T03:01:02+00:00

You know, then next 20 could be amazing! Your choice. Make it amazing or wollow. Be strong and make it amazing. I'm 61 and my story would make your blood boil. I have no regrets though. Whilst I may not have a lot of time left on this marble, I'm going to make it one hell of a fucking ride.

FlyingSaucer51 · 2023-12-01T03:02:34+00:00

Man, I feel this. I have all those emotions. Sadly, it’s two years later for me and I still feel this pain.

Her actions and lies destroyed my successful career and the damage continues.

Everything I did for her was understood to be for OUR future. I helped her through her masters degree AND her doctorate. I moved for HER dream job and sacrificed my successful career.

She took everything WE built and gives it all to another man.

I feel you. I feel this all. I’m sorry.

South_Masterpiece543 · 2023-12-01T00:37:31+00:00

You were robbed. Teach your kids to avoid this trap.

Lumpy-Prior3261 · 2023-12-01T02:45:52+00:00

I feel you on being robbed my ex wife pulled the same thing , But only together 12 years and a 5 yr old daughter just moved into a new house lived there less than 7 months I was starting a business that we both talked about and I felt like I wasn't quite ready to start yet since we just moved into a new home and all . She made great money being and electrical engineer. Made twice eget I was making which it didn't bother whit that I was still in school and she had finished got a great job right of the start . The only thing that saved my ass is we lived in a fault state or I would have had to pretty much get screwed and not even kissed first but I found a bunch of messages in January right after Christmas talking to some guy I knew right then it had been going on since August. Kept reading found they were making plans to go to Las Vegas for a weekend ( he was married also ), talking about what they would tell me and OBS . well I had 10 days I thought of how I was going to bust her,

she had no idea the Sunday she would get back to the city her life would change forever, she told me going with girl friends ( a lie ) I said have a great time .

Got home Friday after work she was ready to go didn't even give her a kiss or anything she asked if I was ok I just shrugged my shoulders and smiled .she came back sat down next to me I was thinking she knew that I knew,
she was like are you ok I just said leave me the fk alone. she left so I went to bed later to start my plan . but the time she pulled up Sunday I was sitting in the living room with my daughter she couldn't open the garage door so she tried to get on with her key nothing she s knocking at the door I didn't answer, she could see me sitting 5 feet from the door . Started pounding so I went to the window and said yeah what do you want?
she says open the door it's cold I just said you don't live here anymore . She said what your crazy .have you been drinking ?

Me nope not a drop had alot to do while you were gone you have a bag sitting at your parents but I don't think I would go there if I was you maybe you can call your boyfriend have him take you in oh yeah he probably can't he's looking for a place to stay himself his wife is real nice woman maybe her and I can get together down the road after I'm divorced . She just turned white, but why would someone let you buy a new house .and start a business then screw you over. By the time I was done she got $300 a month in child support that was all but I was actually paying her close to $600 just because. I just told her I have enough proof to sue your bf for alienation of affection and I would hate for you to have to support him. So make your choice I keep the house I can pay you $2000 for the 6 months we lived her since that you never put any money at all into moving here not even part of a mortgage payment and I will quit my job and you can pay me spousal support until my business gets going better but I might shut it down for a year to deal with the betrayal or longer .

nofucko · 2023-12-01T03:26:56+00:00

You feel like someone was supposed to have your back for life but it ends up being one sided trying to make it work become the toxic pimp king ya didn't know you were have fun now fuck the pain you will feel tell your self it's nothing but weakness and evolve to who your meant to be. We put ourselves 2nd when it comes to love with familial matters fix what you think you need and live how you want keep it gangsta no matter what when it comes to checking your self before you wreck yourself

Poundsi3 · 2023-12-01T01:03:44+00:00

You aren’t alone. I’m right here with you. Same situation. Except without the kids. Which means it’s gotta be way more complex and painful. Take care of yourself brother. You were robbed but you haven’t been killed. Get up and get out there and live. Nothing is promised. Even through people that you believed. My soon to be ex wife is easily the most selfish being I have ever known. I’m not perfect either, in fact I kind of suck. But I am not selfish and I’m not a quitter. She was. You’ll live man. And you’ll be better. Just gotta fight through the storm.

You may have been robbed of the life you worked so damn hard for but that life is gone. Now you’ve been gifted a new one. The fear and unknown in that is vast. But you can do it. Fuck it. You are doing it. And your kids will still have a dad that loves them and takes care of them. That’s all that matters. While you go and forge new relationships with people that won’t quit.

Love you man. Hang tough.

Least_Winter9632 · 2023-12-01T04:02:57+00:00

I was married for 17 yrs w 4 kids, I know the feeling. Bitch stepped out and threw it all away. Sorry you’re going through it my man. Only thing that made the horrible feeling in my gut go away was alcohol and/or exercise. Choose the latter. There will be brighter days ahead, but your whole world just got blown to pieces and destroyed. Massive trauma. It’s gonna take time. I had to use alcohol for a good while until I could pick myself up off the mat. Therapy is also very important. Hang in there man. You just got knocked the fuck out, but you will recover, provided you follow the general same advice from most guys here: gym, therapist, reading, eating right, rediscovery of old hobbies, renewed friendships that may have gotten lost over the years.

EnvironmentalAd3558 · 2023-12-01T10:12:09+00:00

The past is lost, focus your energy on saving your future.

Professional_Owl5763 · 2023-12-01T13:53:37+00:00

Same thing happened to me. Left 2 thriving businesses, bought her a nice house in another city. Moved in, only to find out she’d had a lover the whole time.

The shitty thing is your ex will likely never apologize, and you’ll be stuck in this situation till the kids are grown. Best of luck. We’re all in it together!

alexmixer · 2023-12-01T02:37:31+00:00

Hugs bro

Brave_Quantity_5261 · 2023-12-01T08:19:08+00:00

Same thing just happened to me. I feel like such a joke

Attentionless · 2023-12-01T15:23:07+00:00

So now you have to move on and join the post-divorce non-bitter happy success club. You have to brainwash yourself and shake it off and get back in the game!

Good luck and I'm in the club

NeuroblastomaMan · 2023-12-01T15:28:49+00:00

I hadn't considered that but my wife and I bought her dream house everything she wanted my only request in any house we bought was central air, the day we got the keys she was sad, pregnant and cried to her mom, mother in law sells her house convinces my brother in law to buy a 2 family with her to be closer to my wife, didn't help that I was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer a few weeks into moving into our house, 2 months before she was due during covid peak in April 2020, fast forward.... in law becomes our " sitter" starts off ok she watches him 3 days at our house with me to help out, 2 days at hers. little by little complaints are logged into my wife about me, about documentaries I watch while the baby sleeps that " trigger" her, not giving her enough time with the baby, not nice enough to her etc etc, wife says mother in law won't be coming to house, but my son won't be staying with me "she doesn't trust me to be alone with him because of cancer" she spends more time there things her worse between us it's all just dawning on me, I don't know why I never saw it before, I mean my in law is 3 times divorced. I guess it's on me for loving too hard and being blinded by it.

False_Permit_7342 · 2023-12-01T20:01:18+00:00

Omg I totally understand. I'm sorry you're going through all of that... its shambles now, BUT when everything is put in place and new routines begin.. it does get better!! It might even take a few years... (depending on how she acts, courts, and attorney fees just to ask one simple question, charging like $400 for that.. ect..) I know it's hard right now... but think about the future and don't focus on the past... trust me.. I know how it feels.. my ex-husband was a complete idiot but anyways lol, he stole a lot of stuff from me, my kids, and my family.. does he care?

Benzofarms · 2023-12-02T10:15:38+00:00

That feeling sucks. I felt like I had wasted my life at 18 years of marriage. The same story wasn't perfect but for sure solid and handled life as a couple. I never made a plan B so I have been completely lost on what I do now. I've been a husband and father my whole life, that's the whole description. I know it will all work out because life is not that hard but it takes it out of you trying to figure out what you have to show for 20 years of your life.

The only thing I got is just to keep on breathing. If you have kids they become your focus as far as your purpose. For me, I didn't know anything else so it's hard to figure out what the fuck to do. Keep your head up. It's all a dumb game and now it's not about you and her, it's about the kids or what you can do for yourself.

DivorceRecoveryMen · 2023-12-02T20:51:29+00:00

You go two great kids out of the deal that now you have to co-parent with and create productive adults too. That will become you focus eventually. You can't make someone love you, want to be with you or even like you. The mindset change that comes later down the road will free you of the feeling of being robbed and it turns to, after she does some crazy shit, she did me a favor. Trust me.

Significant_Idea_663 · 2023-12-03T02:54:03+00:00

Why doesn’t any man advise a man against marriage???

alexmixer · 2023-12-01T02:39:25+00:00

Just know good women are out there I'm dating an Asian now and it's possible to upgrade. I felt like dirt and it took 1 yr of being miserable...but I got it back together...my ex just got dumped. You can make it bro

xadmin123 · 2023-12-01T09:18:13+00:00

This is human nature. For some people, marriage has an end date. People get bored of being with another for so many years and the healthy attachment never was secured.

Royal_Win5362 · 2023-12-21T17:05:22+00:00

Try not to get financially robbed. When I was going through my divorce, my ex asked for everything - the house, the savings, alimony, attorney's fees - everything he could think of. AND for a short marriage of 20 months. It was ridiculous. My sugggestion is handling the emotions later and slowly, but be sharp and smart about the money - after all, divorce is a transaction to complete. If you need any help, there's a tool that can get you started with the financial matters. Good luck!

whiskey_piker · 2023-12-01T21:33:43+00:00

FWIW, these are useless ramblings that will only lengthen your pain. For you to act in a way that drove your wire away after 20yrs is a better thing for you to reflect on; and writing it off as “I wasn’t a perfect husband” belies how miserable you made her life.

vickydawn · 2023-12-01T01:33:22+00:00

Never been in any relationship

probebeta · 2023-12-01T05:57:19+00:00

Interesting how our emotions spike up but for different reasons. When I hear robbed and divorce I think... Damn shes taking stuff I earned with so much work while she was sitting on her cockroach ass all day. Other people might interpret it differently. In any case, yes we get blindsided and that's how a person learns. It's not all bad. Welcome to the real world!

I_got_BAnaNaS · 2023-12-01T11:53:13+00:00

(Wait ‘till the judge makes you pay her legal bills, alimony, and/or child support. You are not done being robbed.)

I am sorry this happened to you, too. But thank you so much for posting - it is helpful to see how many other people relocated for their families just to get screwed.

ZX75V · 2023-12-02T17:00:51+00:00

What was the reason? she wants to explore the world?

Title	I Feel Robbed
Author	SummerRound
Upvotes	70
Comments	108
Date	December 1, 2023 12:28 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/187xyfh/i_feel_robbed/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/i-feel-robbed.1239749 https://theredarchive.com/post/1239749

Comments