Anyone else absolutely hate posts like these? There's just so much to unpack here.

Aspect-Secure · 2021-07-24T16:43:40+00:00

The bar is so fucking low. I'm sick of basic human decency and respect towards women by men being treated like it's this groundbreaking thing. Men shouldn't be praised for it. This is why shit will never change.

shockingupdate · 2021-07-24T15:59:18+00:00

Wish I had a dollar for every time a man watched me get publicly harassed, only to wait until we get home or DM me privately to sympathize over how mean “some men” are, instead of doing something about it in the moment.

radfemmd · 2021-07-24T15:16:08+00:00

I used the praise the men who made posts like this, and like others have pointed out in the comments, these men almost always secretly got off of the point that THEY were the ones intimidating women.

Posts like these are so insidious and manipulative. It tricks women who don’t know better into thinking these men are “safe.” Ladies, a HVM will NEVER post stuff like this. He will be the type of man that does the behind the scenes work without wanting to get praised for it because getting praise isn’t his main intention behind doing what’s right.

catlady4u · 2021-07-24T14:35:51+00:00

Virtue signaling douchery. Do something about the issue. I'm sure the pickmes love him. You know that's who gave him all those awards.

Winnie6 · 2021-07-24T16:18:41+00:00

I once was talking to a Black man who said he got pissed off when he entered an elevator and could see a lone woman in there tense up. He thought it was because he was Black because he was always just by his lonesome self whenever it happened. So I told him it was any man. Being Black wasn't the common denominator in making a woman afraid, it was having a penis and being bigger and stronger than her. I think he believed me. It seemed like it, at least.

myoklife · 2021-07-24T14:27:19+00:00

He talks about women like helpless little babies or animals.
Pity is not the emotion we need. It doesn't help. We need anger and motivation to change society.
I can't help but wonder how much of his own behavior contributes to how women react to his presence in public. I don't freak out when a tall man jogs next to me but if he gets unnecessarily close to me I might.
He seems to only be engaging with other men in the comments. Why do men think talking amongst themselves about a problem they cause and don't experience is the way to move forward? It goes back to point #1. Vibes of "White Man's Burden."
Men post shit like this, pat themselves on the back, and then continue being creepy IRL but think they are one of the better guys because they made that reddit post once.
It's also incredibly self-serving. Brb, gonna post about how I feel bad for [marginalized group] because their lives suck due to my colonist ancestors for some reddit karma.
"It used to make me feel bad about myself" like he thinks he's the victim in this situation but is proud of himself for overcoming it by choosing pity for others over pity for himself.

PollyAnnaSunshine · 2021-07-24T15:18:26+00:00

He's clearly kinda karma farming/virtue signaling with this post. I'm glad he recognizes the fact that women are intimidated by strange men, but I don't think he deserves a cookie for that.
I don't fear every random man that I walk by in public in the daylight, so is there something he's doing to creep women out?

Davina33 · 2021-07-24T15:29:02+00:00

Definitely looking for pats on the back. He could just call other men out on their threatening behaviour and be an ally. That would be far more use.

hopeful_flounder93 · 2021-07-24T14:38:17+00:00

Omg everyone clap for the nice man 😍😍 /s

lansburysoda · 2021-07-24T17:56:22+00:00

Men will say shit like this and then say women are lying about being sexually assaulted and men are “falsely accused” lmfao

IndigoTR · 2021-07-24T16:21:06+00:00

Hmmm ‘tis sus. Seems like a virtue signaling fishing expedition. He’s probably expecting his DMs to be flooding lmao.

*lmaooooo I’m just realizing how he ~casually~ mentioned his height/size and that he exercises regularly. Sir please have several seats 💺 😂!!

MsWriteNow07 · 2021-07-24T14:45:14+00:00

This guy is a creeper. He must be getting uncomfortably close or purposely using his size intimidate women. I personally have never been afraid of a man just because he’s on the street and tall, in the daylight. Now if it was night and he was coming up from behind, that’d be different. But just during the day running errands he’s noticing multiple women go in the opposite direction or being incredibly aware of him. He’s doing something that caused it. And he’s doing it on purpose. He specifically says, When he approaches their body language changes and they start trying to cover themselves or backing up. Surely he’s not the only male human in all the streets. So why did they just start this behavior when he came along and not for the other guys on the street. This guy specifically is doing something wrong. Now he wants a hand pat for being aware he’s creeped women out. Jackass.

cherriesandmilk · 2021-07-24T16:34:07+00:00

I downvoted it immediately without even finishing. Do something about the problem like calling out other men’s creepy behavior instead of pitying women.

yoursultana · 2021-07-24T17:16:22+00:00

We have conditioned ourselves LOL ffs even in the virtue signaling posts they can’t pretend to not be a daft bitch

AlextheAnalyst · 2021-07-24T16:57:45+00:00

What's up, Ladies? Just slidin up on your screens to let you know I'm a tall buff man and it's okay to be a little bit scared of me, I'm down with it. 😉

(And he's saying it in the same breathy way as "It's me...")

Fearless-Cookie · 2021-07-24T16:31:54+00:00

I don’t know but if one person is doing a certain action to him, it might be that person. But if most people are doing that to him, maybe he should do some self reflection?

Potential-Bid-245 · 2021-07-25T01:54:34+00:00

“Women have conditioned themselves…”

We conditioned ourselves?!? I thought it was the constant harassment and previous sexual assaults that have conditioned us.

Wild_Artio · 2021-07-24T20:00:19+00:00

Puh lease with his edit too.

Men love to elevate themselves by seeming like allies when they’re just as disrespectful. And men love to elevate themselves by comparing them to the scummiest of scum when they’re still fucking scum.

It SHOULD make you feel bad about yourself, dude. You’re obviously a creep. If women get uncomfortable around you that’s not an us thing it’s definitely a you thing.

The awards make me fucking angry.

highoncatnipbrownies · 2021-07-24T14:44:09+00:00

I read this post and it made me wonder if this was a first step in recognizing the issue, but it left a bad taste for some reason. After reading the OPs comments.. yep that's it, it's men talking to other men about how they used to feel bad for these poor little female mice... It's better than nothing that he noticed this but still part of a greater probablem.

Also... What is this guy doing that women run and cover up everywhere? This is suspicious to me. Maybe he's being unfairly profiled because he's big and tall with tough looking tattoos like a military guy or bicker etc..

...Or maybe he's in dirty cloths, covered in acney, wearing a fedora, a neck beard, and yells "Make way mylady for I doth approach the on thine right" as he joggs by..

Novemberinthechair · 2021-07-24T19:43:07+00:00

If he was lucidly approaching the problem, he wouldn't have addressed the post to women....he would have addressed it to men, maybe even in a predominantly male sub, and like, I dunno, forego any potential praise from women. Maybe tell guys to stop protesting and gaslighting when women express anxiety over publically shared spaces. You're not our hero, dude. Go bust some balls in the male subs. You're not entitled to admiration for acknowledging reality.

randomgirl34861 · 2021-07-24T21:21:35+00:00

This dude just wanted to let the internet know he’s 6’2 and 240lbs. He doesn’t feel sad for anyone.

catlady4u · 2021-07-24T14:50:18+00:00

He makes it a point to immediately list his height and weight, like his post is a pseudo OLD ad, talking to his bros, but aiming at his female audience. I'm going to watch for more posts like these.

It bothers me that pickmes gave money to reddit to buy those awards.

circescircus · 2021-07-25T00:26:21+00:00

So much cringe. So much navel gazing.

Women being creeped out by men has little to do with their stature and size. I walk past 6'2+ big guys all the time (live in a military town) and never act like a scared gazelle just because they are tall and/or big. Too much eye contact, standing too close, unwanted conversation, following, antisocial weird behavior in general, extremely disheveled looks with crazy eyes (looking like you're on drugs or homeless), etc are features or behaviors that creep women out.

A guy can be short and small, and be menacing. It has nothing to do with size.

To be fair-- if this guy goes running or hiking a lot in trails with very few people, and he happens to be behind a woman/group of women, I can see them reacting in an anxious way. But even then, women aren't cowering in fear and acting as anxious as he describes unless he was actively doing or saying something to make them uncomfortable.

He doesn't know/care that women are not on "high alert" when a fairly large guy passes by. Women are on "high alert" when you act fucking weird and creepy, or if you otherwise set off our lizard brain. 6'2 isn't so huge that it gets 2nd looks from people. This post is 99% congratulating himself for his height and for not being a rapist. It has almost nothing to do with women.

Curiousquest2 · 2021-07-24T15:19:20+00:00

Aww he changed how he felt about himself (because that would be too much work if he felt bad) it’s back to being our problem again ladies! Thank god we have his pity, now we can finally shatter that glass ceiling with his support! Yay!

luvmyvulvaxoxo · 2021-07-24T15:37:05+00:00

Do women really wear 2 headphones in public? Because I always wear only 1 with low volume, specifically to hear someone approaching. I always assumed all women did that because we don’t want to get snuck up on.

Mediccibitch · 2021-07-24T14:39:22+00:00

Yes, as OP said we need anger not pity. Also he is acting as if women are only afraid of tall men or that only tall men are a threat.

hyperjinxx · 2021-07-25T01:01:12+00:00

Wow you’re so ~ wOkE ~

Now go do something about it.

her-vagesty · 2021-07-24T23:21:33+00:00

I don't know about the rest of you, but I only get wary around men who are giving off really bad or creepy vibes, which in my 5 years living in London has happened once. If it's happening a lot to this guy I guarantee it's not his size, it's something he's doing.

greatmoonlight21 · 2021-07-24T17:01:46+00:00

He'll feel bad for us and then proceed to do absolutely nothing tangible to help women

paperwasp3 · 2021-07-24T21:21:46+00:00

As well you should, the world hates women. Not every single person of course, but holy smokes it’s a lot of them!

KateJ1982 · 2021-07-24T23:21:47+00:00

He almost gets it, but then covers his lyin' eyes and refuses to cross the finishline. Excuse me sir, did WE create a society where harassment and assault against women is commonplace, and often celebrated? Or do MEN perpetrate these acts of violence so frequently, with the implied and/or outright cheering support of their brethren, that it's just common sense for women to be on their guard all the time?

And is it SAD for YOU big man? Boo hoo, please have a performative tissue for your performative sadness. If only it made you mad enough to want to call out the perpetrators and fight for better laws. But alas, sadness is all he got out of this.

queen-wannabe · 2021-07-25T00:25:57+00:00

How about you stop feeling sorry for us. And ACTUALLY FUCKING DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT INSTEAD OF WATCHING US SUFFER IN SILENCE???

swaylyn · 2021-07-24T23:39:50+00:00

It’s the way he said “he feels sad/bad for women” on REPEAT for me.

The way men go about trying to earn brownie points baffles me. Maybe if they did something impressive, tangible and USEFUL that would be a different case

Title	Anyone else absolutely hate posts like these? There's just so much to unpack here.
Author	myoklife
Upvotes	722
Comments	99
Date	July 24, 2021 2:22 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/oqqzdi/anyone_else_absolutely_hate_posts_like_these/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/anyone-else-absolutely-hate-posts-like-these.793576 https://theredarchive.com/post/793576

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