Celibacy is POWERFUL ❤️✨

jasminekisses4u · 2021-05-30T08:40:17+00:00

This is exactly what my mom told me. Honestly when I didn’t follow that advice I realized that guys really do say a million sweet things just to get something out of you and then abandon you. It’s absolutely horrendous idk if I’ll ever want to trust them again.

CuntWaffe · 2021-05-30T11:02:04+00:00

The amount of men that have gotten mad at me because I turned them down for sex gives me an immense joy.

she_is_munchkins · 2021-05-30T10:56:20+00:00

I love this.

I reached a point last year where I just cut out all my fuck buddies because I was no longer satisfied. I realized that as cool as it was to have sexual options, all those options weren't up to my standard for intimacy. I want a connection during sex, I want emotions and love, I want that trust and intimacy that makes your heart feel full when making love. Yeah the actual act of sex can feel great if he's skilled in bed, but it's just not enough for me anymore. Even though I was calling the shots it felt cheap in some way, and they seemed smug.

So I've turned them all away because I'd rather be celibate than have sex with a man who doesn't love me or adore me. I used to think that the FWS stance against FWBs was a bit harsh. In my mind, as long as I didn't have feelings for any of these men or get emotionally hung up on them I was ok to explore my libfem ways without getting hurt. But I get it now, sex without love and intimacy isn't worth it, even as a woman with a high sex drive. I realized now that what I was craving wasn't just the sex itself, I was (and still am) craving love, intimacy and a deep bond that is expressed physically. So I can wait, I'm happy to wait until I get that full package.

ButterfliesHurricane · 2021-05-30T08:12:11+00:00

Saying no is the only defensive weapon against LVMs. Sex is all they are after for gratification, control or ego boosts. They feel they deserve it and anything is fair game to obtain it (lies, manipulation, future faking, paying, etc). Saying no until we are sure we are not dealing with a wolf in sheep’s clothes is the only way.

Over the centuries, we earned the power to say yes and have sex with who we want, sadly men have used that against us to get free sex. With the power to say yes, we also earned the greater power to say no.

Jai_Kali · 2021-05-30T08:04:46+00:00

Yes! Men looked at women's sudden right and ability to walk away from a bad marriage and turned it into "Wohoo, women's liberation means you can have sex with as many men as you (we) want!" with the aid of liberal feminism. The right to say no was twisted into an obligation to say yes.

Guyincognito9876 · 2021-05-30T08:11:56+00:00

This is why I laugh when men think they’re insulting us with the ‘femcel’ slur. No woman is involuntary celibate, we are the ones with the power to choose, and choosing not to have sex is one of the most empowering decisions I’ve made.

Pornruinedsociety · 2021-05-30T07:59:24+00:00

As a woman who's always had a high sex drive, I never realised celibacy could be so empowering, I have no plans to break it and it's not something I've found difficult, nor do I feel I'm missing out. I feel great and have no intention or desire to have sex with another person right now. It would take a very special person for me to want to have sex with them and I'm not even sure if that person exists or if they do, if I'll ever meet them and I'm okay with that.

yehet420 · 2021-05-30T10:43:43+00:00

This is what I have been saying! Due to years of sexual trauma I had extremely poor boundaries for so long. I feel like I have finally taken my power back being celibate. My ex last year was the last person I was intimate with in a while and I honestly don’t miss freely giving my body to LVM. They have to earn it now and it feels amazing to know it’s all up to me and I will never succumb to feeling like I “owe” a man sex due to pressure or doing the bare minimum ever again.

LunaAmory · 2021-05-30T09:16:27+00:00

This. I've learned and affirmed this in my head recently with my new(ish) boyfriend. The fact that he respects my body autonomy and boundaries makes such a world of a difference. It's amazing how good a basic thing like consent can feel after being in a relationship where I quite literally wasn't allowed the choice to do anything.

betsybasset · 2021-05-30T09:49:39+00:00

I never once into a man because he's hot, I'm always attracted with his manner, personality and what comes out of his mouth.

Sadly , there's many hot men, and so many so-so looking men, still puts me off once his mouth is open.

Tried the hot boy, sure sex was good, but there's only so much sex i can have. It gets boring quick.

Men are mediocre at best. I'm starting to believe men that actually have real respectful manner towards women don't exist.

Why would they exist when the world is drowning in patriarchy and misogyny.

And they really are the oppressor no matter how 'nice' they seem.

Because, for as long they're not actively policing their male mates, or actively helping women en masse, they're pretty much complicit.

No_Environment9596 · 2021-05-30T11:24:56+00:00

And then all these dudes come in like "sEe?? FDS iS fEmCeLs!! like....incels are celibate cause no one will fuck them and they wanna have a pity party about it. Us choosing celibacy as a form of protection when we damn well could get dick by just walking out our front doors. Its not the same in the slightest. I think the idea of a celibate woman in any form scares men, when we decide to say no and keep saying no, they dont have any room to gain.

PizzaNo7741 · 2021-05-30T11:16:24+00:00

This is the real deal. Men feel entitled to “understand” before conceding this. If they “don’t understand”, if it “doesn’t make sense” to them and their sensibilities, they negate it. Or... they try to anyways. When we have a place to talk with one another openly, just us women and wlw, they get so mad that they aren’t a part of our consensus.

lostmillenia · 2021-05-30T11:57:13+00:00

[deleted]

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2021-05-30T15:14:31+00:00

This is why men get so incense when we say no to them in any way. The absolutely despise that we have the right to say no, and not just sexually. Nothing is more angering to somebody who fancied himself a slave master then the slave saying no and having every legal right to do so.

glowmilk · 2021-05-30T10:06:45+00:00

It really is! It’s not that there’s anything shameful about having lots of sex, but the majority of the time, the men really aren’t worth it and sleeping with them is high risk for women with very little reward. Generally, they get a lot more out of sex than we do. Even if they say they had “bad sex” or didn’t get a blowjob or whatever, a lot of men are still happy to use our bodies for masturbation and get their orgasm anyway. TW for sexual descriptions here They use us as objects to stick their dicks into. They thrust as hard as they like even if we are in pain. They orgasm quicker than us and then go to bed once they get what they wanted.

The stakes aren’t the same for women. We can’t use them as walking dildos, even if we wanted to. We can’t get our multiple orgasms for as long as we like (or even one!) if the man decides that sex is finished. A lot of us won’t get any pleasure at all if his penis isn’t the right shape for our vagina. If it’s not long enough or if it’s too thick. And if he doesn’t give oral, that’s even more of a disappointing experience. A lot of us want emotional intimacy too, while most men just wanna get their dick wet. There’s a severe conflict of interests here.

I’m sure a lot of us have had experiences with men in the past that we now cringe about. Where we thought we were just enjoying ourselves and that the men we slept with were worth our time but really, it was more like what I described above. This is why it’s so empowering to say no and have higher standards for yourself. Not no faux lib fem empowerment of “anything a woman does is empowering if she chose it!!” But true empowerment in the sense that you are demanding better for yourself and reaping the benefits of it. The fact that you are denying a lot of men something they really want and giving more power to yourself to orchestrate the life you want to live.

nebsemi · 2021-05-30T07:19:53+00:00

My parents used to (and still do) shame me for my high standards for both friends and partners. I never lowered my standards, though. Why would I want to be with people who don't make me happy?

You want me? Then come up and meet me.

babyeshona · 2021-05-30T09:15:19+00:00

True. Iam not lowering my standards for anyone. Untill then iam virgin and Celibate.

AriaLuz · 2021-05-30T15:35:56+00:00

Going on Seven years celibate and I can’t be more happy and relaxed in my life.

tonha_da_pamonha · 2021-05-30T16:04:05+00:00

Even in my marriage I say no to my husband. Just because we are married doesn't give him rights to my body. If I am not feeling it, it doesn't happen. Period.

fireforestfairy · 2021-05-30T09:46:36+00:00

Don't forget having sex with LVM is nowhere close to enjoyable. Many of them have fetishes that degrade women such as a gag puke fetish. And yes, dick size matters. Having sex with a guy whose dick is too large will hurt.

sofuckinggreat · 2021-05-30T16:40:02+00:00

You know what’s also powerful? The original Hitachi Magic Wand that plugs into the wall. God bless modern technology.

VivaLaSea · 2021-05-30T13:55:28+00:00

Telling men no is one of my "kinks".
And they're not allowed to kink shame me. Lmao.

Tanalize · 2021-05-30T12:10:04+00:00

It's so sad how empowering this is to men when it is the bare minimum. Society is so fucked up when women realizing the autonomy of their bodies as important as empowering. Great post regardless.

all_or_nothing_bet · 2021-05-30T23:04:13+00:00

Women need to understand that their bodies are in very high demand. I'm not even talking about their attention that men crave so much, just their bodies. There's absolutely no need NOT to be super picky about who to have sex with and there absolutely no incentive of having sex just for sex with a man who is less than what you want in a partner.

Celibacy needs to be normalized. Hookup culture is a ridiculous concept that tries to normalize empty, unfulfilling rubbing of genitals with very high health risk for women with very little, often nonexistent reward.

Celibate until you meet a man who is worthy of you because your own finger is way more skilled and is absolutely superior at giving you pleasure than 99% of men you meet during your life time.

Lemon_bars_addiction · 2021-05-30T15:22:06+00:00

Proud voncel over here 🥰

YVGNY · 2021-05-30T20:25:39+00:00

NO is the most empowering sentence.

Protoetype · 2021-05-30T14:24:26+00:00

I want to reassure the ladies here that men CAN and WILL wait for intimacy.

It seems that my kink is ruthlessly testing a man's loyalty by denying him sex. Trust me, I've had men court me for YEARS without having sex with them. Keep this is mind.. sex is always better in your head.

While you're NOT having sex with a man I recommend you learn how to masturbate. Learn what you like. Get a range of dildos. Find out if you even like vaginal sex or if you prefer to just stick with clitoral stimulation. Enjoy your sexuality, celibacy shouldn't mean denying yourself.

Any sex you have should be on your terms only. I had a boyfriend where our entire sex life was just him giving me oral whenever I wanted it. I did nothing for him. We were together for YEARS, he was fucking gorgeous. You might think I'm a bitch and feel bad for my partners, don't. They chose to fuck with a woman who's definitely got the audacity to do exactly what she wants.

millrice · 2021-05-30T19:47:23+00:00

Scrotes die mad 😅😅

huevos_and_whiskey · 2021-05-30T13:42:05+00:00

If we have the right to say no, then when that right is violated there should be consequences. The consequences are not yet adequately enforced. It’s a little better now, but protecting our bodily autonomy still means being very careful about who we allow near us. Date rape still happens, getting groped by a stranger in public still happens, and by and large they just get away with it. Women are still shamed for voicing our boundaries. If someone grabs you or cops a feel on the subway and you shout at them, it’s unlikely that the people around will gang up on them and make them leave. You’re more likely to have people gang up on you and tell you to “calm down” and “stop making such a big deal out of it”. We still need massive societal changes.

MissGalaxy1986 · 2021-05-31T16:30:29+00:00

That is also why it’s so important to date when you are in a good state of mind. If you date when you are weak you are much more likely to get coerced into sex. I am still kinda broken up over how I told one guy no multiple times and he still got his way. It’s basically assault and makes me wonder how in the world a man can be so proud to “conquer” a woman by breaking her.

Conquer a woman by getting her to actually want to have sex with you 100%, not because she’s doing it to get you to stop groping her or one of the countless “non violent” methods men have up their sleeves.

This was in my pickmeishas days obviously, but it still hurts... and that pain is exactly my reminder for why I need to be cautious... and ultimately I don’t need a reminder like that pain to know better!

That is why I took a month off dating and am still not sure I’m ready to go back even if my eggs are dying off. The risks, psychologically too much... I waste less time going into this mentally sound than half-assing it.

I know I deserve the best which is why I will create a life for myself where I attract the very best damnit! And yes there are days where I do find myself recovering my spark and glow, where my face lights up and I know I’ve got the world by my finger!

SakuraGirl88 · 2021-05-30T15:59:08+00:00

This is so me. I'm just not settling for bad sex 🤮. Pickmes, libfems, and lvm always make it seem like if you're a woman who is not sexually active that you're a prude or men don't like you. But in the same vein, if you are just putting it out there, you're slut shamed.

Society tries to treat dick like it's as rare as the hope diamond 🤷🏽‍♀️. Dick is not that great when the man is ugly, fat, has no stamina, and thinks 10 minutes of jackhammering is the best sex ever. I'll be 31 tomorrow 😊. But in my 30 years I've learned there are so many better things in the world as a free woman, like ice cream 😆.

sugarplumcutie · 2021-05-30T14:36:25+00:00

This is the plan. I’m young, but I feel it’s going to be that way for a very long time, and that’s totally fine with me. Most men repulse me. I don’t like what I see or hear, and I am not willing to take the risk.

Condom-Ad-Don-Draper · 2021-05-30T21:52:58+00:00

Agreed. Watching Kyle Gallner on Outsiders is pretty much my version of sex these days.

2021-05-30T21:20:26+00:00

[removed]

Title	Celibacy is POWERFUL ❤️✨
Author	AcadiaLeather5071
Upvotes	2667
Comments	114
Date	May 30, 2021 6:53 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/no5fb4/celibacy_is_powerful/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/celibacy-is-powerful.774363 https://theredarchive.com/post/774363

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