DO NOT fall for a man claiming to be "traditional".

millennialpink2000 · 2021-05-22T16:31:52+00:00

Violence against women is just marketed better in the 21st century

Kimpractical · 2021-05-22T17:09:26+00:00

This is exactly why women’s liberation happened. A financially independent woman doesn’t have to put up with an abusive husband

CynicalSucculent · 2021-05-22T18:53:43+00:00

Reminds me of the red pill.

Red pill women want traditional relationships with a traditional man/provider.

Red pill men exchange strategies to exploit as many women as they can for sex.

wrice05 · 2021-05-22T16:22:17+00:00

Violence against women is the most consistently upheld tradition in every society.

Amazing_Wolverine_37 · 2021-05-22T16:59:28+00:00

The worst OLD story I have is from Bumble. In this case, someone looking for a "marriage minded" type, was allegedly religious, not particularly a red flag to me. We seem to share values, similar career, homeowners in the same areaish. It was pretty clear when we slept together that there was some level of porn sickness, but I was pretty sprung. After he ghosted, I saw him on my local reddit sub page and saw in his history he had a woman at the time we dated who was pregnant. His main concern was getting her converted to his religion during Covid, before the baby comes. His other post that stuck out was in regards to her benign responses while watching Jeopardy on the sub "Am I the Asshole?". Spoiler alert: yes.

rainbowshummingbird · 2021-05-22T17:30:26+00:00

Unfortunately, I’ve decided they’re all the same, regardless of the ideologies and preferences in which they cloak themselves.

IndohyusNamedDoug · 2021-05-22T18:34:58+00:00

A HVM who really embraces traditional, respectful masculine roles will SHOW it, not tell. He'll show it by opening doors for us, paying for meals, making sure we get home safe, etc - he doesn't need to remind everyone he's traditional.

edthrowawayyyyyyyy · 2021-05-22T18:04:25+00:00

Andrea Dworkin has a great book on this, ‘Right-Wing Women.’ Her argument is complex, but the thesis is essentially that women like these comply with men’s misogyny in an attempt to protect themselves by being “respectable.” They hope attracting a traditional man will provide them protection from men who would hurt them, but in reality it only attracts the absolute worst men have to offer because what’s being advertised by them (knowingly or not) is near total control over them and the only men who seek that are abusers.

Saitschik · 2021-05-22T17:48:17+00:00

Men don't respect a life dedicated to flowers, pie and homemaking. No matter how much they talk online that they want a traditional woman. And sooner or later they will show you that.

They disrespect a lot of others lifestyle choices women make as well but that's not your problem if you are financially independent.

If you are not and live instead in a cookie cutter bubble you are in for a very, very rude awakening

PossiblyJennay · 2021-05-22T21:42:51+00:00

This reminds me of Anna and Josh Duggar. A traditional woman married to a porn-addicted, cheating, child molester and stays by his side because she was never raised to believe she had a chance to be anything in life other than a wife.

straightouttashtetl · 2021-05-22T16:35:12+00:00

I noticed this circa 2016 before cottagecore became a trend. For women it's a way of life. For men it's another kink.

ButterscotchOk4483 · 2021-05-22T18:53:47+00:00

When I see a man describing himself as traditional I immediately know he hold misogynistic beliefs

pretty_kill · 2021-05-22T17:17:40+00:00

If a woman wants that cute cottage house she’s gonna have to do it on her own pretty much. Looking for a trad male will only get you abused.

jjlew922 · 2021-05-22T17:36:42+00:00

This is so true. There are a lot of slimy “traditional” Christian men that have been indoctrinated by misogynistic principles in the church. It amazes me how the Bible has been rewritten by men to the male narrative - for instance, “wives submit to your husbands” in Hebrew is wives support your husbands. Big difference. I agree it’s sad cause many women who grew up in the church have been indoctrinated too and living on a fantasy of male “headship” (also rewritten) when this was not God’s intent nor do men deserve this type of reverence and power. It is men who have corrupted the world and certainly the conservative Christians will voice family and getting back to traditional gender roles as they drool over other women in porn. Woe to the hypocrites! A subservant woman will attract an abuser and I think many if not most men in the modern church today are abusers as they seek power and control over women and gaslight themselves that they’re good and holy by attending church. The fact that Pastors are in the top 5 professions for narcissists should blow everyone’s mind. But no, most prefer to live in denial and the perpetuators are men who lie and deceive and cheat.

AccordingStruggle417 · 2021-05-22T19:58:49+00:00

It was always a lie. The patriarchy was and is ALWAYS a lie to trap and dominate women. if you have any interest in maintaining your humanity in a relationship, and that relationship is with a man, you have to find one who in some measure understands this.

MadamePotpourri · 2021-05-22T18:05:42+00:00

I feel sorry for these traditional women. I think they are just naively buying into the narrative of happy homemaker/wife without really thinking about the fact that they would need a high value man to complete the picture. Sadly, these 'traditional' guys are all LVM because their idea of tradition is full ownership of a woman as if she were his property.

gingerwabisabi · 2021-05-22T22:19:24+00:00

Yes. My mom, former bff, and almost all the women I knew growing up were in this lifestyle thinking it would give them loving, faithful husbands who cared about their children. Spoiler: The ACTUAL result is so bad that I have never seen even ONE of these marriages that I could tolerate, let alone envy.

myoklife · 2021-05-22T18:57:27+00:00

There's this dude I knew from high school who calls himself a "trad" whatever and posts self-pity all over social media about how hard it is to find a "trad wife." He's also a "born again catholic" or something, very alt-right/pro-trump, posts a lot of racist and sexist nonsense (a lot of shit about "black women aborting their babies" and pro-life shit)

But is he, at least, a "trad man" who could provide for a family? Also no. He is morbidly obese, has a useless degree, constsntly unemployed, and does nothing but whine about all these things on social media. He lives at home with his wealthy parents. He also is so thirsty at other women just...openly online. I can't imagine anyone would ever find any part of him attractive but ESPECIALLY a "trad woman."

immortallogic · 2021-05-22T17:36:00+00:00

Lol this is literally the definition of theredpill and redpillwomen here on Reddit. The I don't understand how those women don't get the cognitive dissonance.

AcadiaLeather5071 · 2021-05-22T22:36:09+00:00

You’ll also come across redpill blogs (but with a traditional tint) about how to emotionally abuse women into being controlled. They use traditionalism as a pretty package to sell a lifestyle of abuse and domestic slavery to these women. It’s sickening.

masterofthebarkarts · 2021-05-23T01:27:08+00:00

I read the most interesting article about "tradcon" women and basically the point the author was making was that these women see the violence and hate and general shit that women live with and they hope that by being "good", they can get a man to protect them from other men. Like, if I just manage to be exactly the right kind of woman I will protected from all the violence and garbage in the world.

Obviously it does not work, but I understand why the belief would be very seductive.

betsybasset · 2021-05-23T06:06:54+00:00

If any man claims to be traditional / old fashioned then ask him to:

Pay both of your bills
Pay dining and drinks
Open and close doors for you
pick and drop you off everywhere
Build and maintain the house for you

See if he's still a traditional.

shelballama · 2021-05-22T16:54:06+00:00

This went in a different direction than I thought it would; I've never considered the sexual subservience implications of this (also, was that a thing back then? I thought sex was more tame as porn was and was less widely available)

For me, I think of traditional women's roles and think of all the men who want a bangmaid but one who ALSO goes 50/50 even though he doesn't help out much (or at all) with household chores, kids, etc, doesn't come home to help with traditionally male chores (woodworking, car mechanic knowledge, gutter cleaning, lawn mowing, etc), makes more than 2x her salary and then financially abuses her because the money he earns is "his."

*Edit to bangmaid, my sweet sweet phone is more innocent to the ways of LVM than we are

2021-05-23T02:55:35+00:00

[deleted]

thinksimasparetire · 2021-05-23T07:29:22+00:00

As someone who grew up in the church, one of the best lessons I learned that they never bring up to young women is that one of the biggest issues men in the church deal with are addictions to porn.

I. Shit. You. Not.

Yeah, there’s exceptions, but they’re uncommon for a reason. I never really liked that cookie cutter Christian boy, because it’s just less hypocrisy and dehumanization for me to potentially deal with. Frankly I’m quite relieved I was never swayed by the idea of trying to date someone’s son in the church. I have a feeling that I’d lose so much of myself in that. And that would mean that person would just get a shell. That’s not a life I want to live.

CloacaDiddler · 2021-05-22T22:48:18+00:00

I really just can’t think of anything a scrote is good for other than hurting and ruining

terrn1981 · 2021-05-23T01:00:09+00:00

Look at poor Anna Duggar right now..she's sticking by that MOFO too.

nnanna11 · 2021-05-23T11:26:38+00:00

i’ve seen men diss women in the work field and women who are stay at home moms. they’ll disrespect you no matter what you do. they’re so jealous of us

silkypetal · 2021-05-22T23:06:16+00:00

This is such a powerful post. It's unfortunate that it's made it's way here to us - women who often know better, as opposed to the women who really really need it. I wish them all freedom.

TheHayleStorm204 · 2021-05-22T22:18:47+00:00

My ex was “traditional” and religious and appreciated that I was religious too and wanted me to be a stay at home mom while he was the provider. He also enjoyed calling me awful names in bed and choking me until I blacked out. “Traditional” was just code for misogynistic.

Round-Antelope552 · 2021-05-23T02:26:13+00:00

I said to myself well maybe if I was more feminine maybe I wouldn’t scare a nice guy away with my craziness (mm confidence).

Ended up a single mother who spent her pregnancy in a domestic violence shelter. Yay.

Bitter_Froyo_6742 · 2021-05-22T21:30:18+00:00

Dont worry. Most of those traditional women actually end up married to the nice "formerly gay" man they know from church.

valleycupcake · 2021-05-23T04:11:07+00:00

I’m coming from that world and you’ve got it spot on.

Velveteen_Woman · 2021-05-23T04:34:26+00:00

💯 accurate!

SmoothVictories · 2021-05-24T09:24:31+00:00

The type of guys that run these blogs or just in general spend a gross amount of time LARPing about being traditional online are never actually traditional.

In most cases it's an incel or similar type who feels OWED to a "tradwife" while he possess absolutely none of the skills typically espoused for the male role in these trad fantasies or if he does they are entirely located in Minecraft or other such video games

Title	DO NOT fall for a man claiming to be "traditional".
Author	quaintrell
Upvotes	1464
Comments	106
Date	May 22, 2021 4:14 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/nim0z3/do_not_fall_for_a_man_claiming_to_be_traditional/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/do-not-fall-for-a-man-claiming-to-be-traditional.755528 https://theredarchive.com/post/755528

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