Bumble Backtracking is Proof That Men Will Always Be in Charge

EulenWatcher · 2024-05-20T02:11:54+00:00

That’s an interesting attempt to strike your ego for being a man. “Men have to make the first move for various reasons, hence they’ll always be in charge!” There’s a huge jump in logic here.

Something-bothersome · 2024-05-20T03:02:17+00:00

Dude, women already hold leadership positions in society.

There is nothing new. Chances are if you are a normal everyday person, there are both a man and woman holding a position of power directly over your life that could make extraordinary positive or negative changes and there is very little you can do about it - policy, legally, promotions, the person who marks your assignment, your boss, your doctor/ surgeon, your landlord….

If you are talking about “ruling the world?” Or an ultimate power? It doesn’t matter, we are all subject to their decisions whether they be man or woman, they are “other people”. Best hope they are merciful.

userhasleftchat · 2024-05-20T04:33:15+00:00

I wonder if bro dislocated his shoulder from this massive reach

Metalloid_Space · 2024-05-20T01:35:33+00:00

It's proof that an app where men make up the vast majority of users benefits from men making more effort, because the few women would never intiate contact with all those men.

Green-Quantity1032 · 2024-05-20T04:31:54+00:00

Yes, that's exactly what it shows.

You're really good at non-linear pattern recognition, someone ever told you that?

januaryphilosopher · 2024-05-20T07:05:11+00:00

I really don't think having the option to send the first smiley face is the cornerstone of power in society. It isn't even forcing men to send the first message, it's letting either do it if they want as gay people have already been doing on the app. This would fit with women's preference for equal power in relationships and the wider world.

Professional_Chair28 · 2024-05-20T11:56:22+00:00

Bumble Backtracking is Proof That Men Will Always Be in Charge

No it’s not. What a wild leap

HomeworkFew2187 · 2024-05-20T01:53:41+00:00

you think bumble some dating app that wants to make a profit, cares anything about equality ? that requiring women to make the first move is somehow a great step towards equality ? besides you know everything Women struggled to get. like being able to own their own bank account ?

claratheresa · 2024-05-20T04:00:42+00:00

Proof that men are entitled and self obsessed and can’t lead:

https://amp.cnn.com/cnn/2023/11/06/business/wework-bankruptcy

Solondthewookiee · 2024-05-20T02:00:52+00:00

Bahahaha

"Women can't be president because men can message first on a dating app" is peak "dude on Reddit" ridiculousness.

TSquaredRecovers · 2024-05-20T02:30:03+00:00

Men being much hornier than women, on average, and therefore being more likely to be the pursuers has jack shit to do with them being better leaders. This is really one of the most idiotic claims I’ve ever read here.

KayRay1994 · 2024-05-20T02:46:45+00:00

“bumble letting men message first proves that women will never lead society and that men are therefore better” - now, you’ll prob use this as a jumping off point to say “i didn’t say men are better” but literally everything you’re saying means that.

That being said, while i don’t believe that either gender has an inherent advantage of who’s ‘in charge’ (just that they both have different techniques of enacting control and power) - it is worth asking, how does women collectively refusing to play by the rules of bumble, then the app responding to that and changing it because of the way women behave prove that ‘men are always the lead’? are the apps not following the desires and wishes of the women here?

G4g3_k9 · 2024-05-20T04:00:48+00:00

i hate having to lead and i hate this bumble update, but this is just plain stupid

saying a woman can’t lead because of a dating app is hella misogynistic and makes no sense. women can be and have been leaders in society, germany has a woman lead their country recently and did just fine.

there’s zero way to spin this that doesn’t end up being misogynistic asf

TheDwiin · 2024-05-20T09:12:23+00:00

I just want to give a little bit of a history lesson here.

Men pursuing women instead of the other way around is not a biological thing, it's a societal thing.

Modern dating is unique to this world, and his only really existed for about a hundred or so years.

Prior to this, women were treated like property, and men didn't directly seek the women themselves, but appealed to her family, mainly the patriarch who has control over who married her.

And such societal expectations still exist to this day in since areas of the world, though they are falling out of favor.

However, there were/are a few cultures, such as the Minangkabau people, that practiced Matrilineage where sons were treated as property and married off to their wives, and daughters were the ones to inherit the family name and estate.

Also tying someone's leadership skill to their ability to pursue someone in romance this kind of ridiculous. A: there are plenty of strong women out there who make great leaders, and B: there are plenty of historical examples of men who were great leaders who struggle with Romance.

WanabeInflatable · 2024-05-20T07:12:10+00:00

Nope.

It tells nothing about leadership in society. Only about women enjoying the benefits of the choosing side and entitled to keep this. In dating the person who accepts or rejects the advances has all the power and women are not willing to give it up.

Necessary-Ask-3619 · 2024-05-20T03:55:32+00:00

More like proof that men will always be the one who have to work or approach while women have to just exist.

PriestKingofMinos · 2024-05-20T05:32:18+00:00

I don't use dating apps but I'm aware of Bumble and I found this move rather odd. Bumble's novel innovation was to put women in charge and let them take the romantic initiative which apparently they hated. Rejection is a part of life (not just dating but jobs, friends, financial loans). It seems absurd to care that much about rejection in online dating where the stakes are really low. IRL I get it being embarrassing, even humiliating, but online it seems close to 0 costs. The same is true of pursuing a romantic encounter online, the costs are extremely low and from what I understand women's initiation messages were often banal and were basically just telling the men to make the first move for them, stuff like "Impress me".

Handsome_Goose · 2024-05-20T07:24:37+00:00

You are not 'in charge'. You are, as per usual, merely charged with the dirty work.

Lilrip1998 · 2024-05-20T14:29:07+00:00

TBH I was on Bumble at its peak. It was a thin crowd of men.

The tea is the majority of men preferred to be on apps where they could message first. The ones that preferred women who messaged first (atleast in my zip code) weren’t worth swiping right on and messaging.

And the few conversations I had, it was dudes that were pretty cringe/dull. Idk what other users experiences were but I opted for other platforms where there were more options

Opening_Tell9388 · 2024-05-20T15:47:24+00:00

This changed happened because there are always waaaaay more men than women on dating apps. It was a terribly idea from the start. This isn't really about biology. This is about economics.

Obvious_Smoke3633 · 2024-05-20T15:47:31+00:00

Well, the app just lost a huge percentage of the small number of women that were on there in the first place. Let them scramble for the scraps. Who cares ?

DoubleFistBish · 2024-05-20T16:06:39+00:00

Men greatly outnumber women in online dating so womens inboxes are usually flooded with messages so theres no reason for women to message first. Plus most women often get approached in person too. Rationally why would they message first or put effort into messaging when they get the same desired results regardless?

LaTableEstBasse · 2024-05-20T18:39:28+00:00

It's simple really :

Women will actively pursue something if it benefits them (equal pay for example) but everything else should be done by men essentially.

no_usernameeeeeee · 2024-05-20T21:12:03+00:00

Did you know that the founder of bumble is a woman? One of the most popular and successful dating apps ever. Sounds like women can be great leaders and CEOs if they can create such successful businesses.

That feature was probably changed because dating apps are overwhelmingly male and it probably screws up the amount of likes or messages men get resulting in lower amounts. But that’s just because women probably just have too many options. Allowing men to message first will probably allow for more connections to be made. It’s a business move, not a testament to male leadership.

apresonly · 2024-05-20T23:47:04+00:00

how does that make men "in charge"? lol

a man is "in charge" for talking to a woman who may or may not respond to him?

is a job seeker "in charge" of a corporation because they send the corp their job resume?

FiliusHades · 2024-05-22T01:25:39+00:00

Women not making the first move is just one of thousands of traits that make them incapable of being natural leaders.

Women can do a LOT of things, but "lead" is not one of them. Even when things are easy and given to them, they struggle in leadership roles.

Acceptable-Truck3803 · 2024-05-20T01:52:30+00:00

This means nothing in regards to men having the ability to message first now instead of waiting on a woman to message.

March group gave into bumble being “just another dating app” to keep shareholders happy with promise of growth with their publically traded stock is all as it’s at an all time low.

bifewova234 · 2024-05-20T02:36:09+00:00

Most people aren’t in charge of much of anything.

claratheresa · 2024-05-20T03:56:59+00:00

Bumble has been incredibly successful for a decade. It had a successful IPO when most tech ventures didn’t even make it to late stage funding.

There has been a generational shift over the last decade and bumble is now adapting.

From what i read here in PPD, tinder and okcupid aren’t working for men either.

Perhaps this is because men can’t think beyond their dicks and feel entitled to sex with women way out of their leagues.

TheRedPillRipper · 2024-05-20T02:25:23+00:00

a testament to the biological truth that women will never lead society

Whilst I agree that men are more predisposed to seeking out power, women leaders aren’t to be written off. To do so, is to disregard the capability of half our population. Which is foolish.

A long time ago I wrote a post stating life is a meritocracy. Power doesn’t discriminate.

superlurkage · 2024-05-20T14:31:41+00:00

If by “in charge” you mean “thirsty/desperate enough to buy premium access”, I agree

Otherwise no

Professional_Chair28 · 2024-05-20T13:16:14+00:00

If bumble has been so successful, why change the policy?

Bumble's very own success stories are why this change needed to happen. Because the successful couples that met on the app aren’t using the app anymore, obviously. Most business operate on customer retention, Bumble as a relationship building app can’t. That’s why we’ve seen them previously broaden their scope to a friendship building app, that doesn’t suffer the same “one and done” effect, and now this change of their key target audience. Businesses evolve to meet their customers' needs, that's just how capitalism works.

This change reflects two things, (neither of which are OP’s deluded leap), their previous target audience was not buying what they were selling and their actual majority audience was not who they were targeting.

Turns out the very independent, self-assured, “goes after what she wants” women that was their target audience, don’t prioritize dating/doesn’t want to participate on a dating app. So what do you do as a business when you’ve built a product the consumer doesn’t want to buy. You go back to the drawing board, look at the base product you offer and find a more wanting audience to market to. In this specific case of bumble they looked at their audience demographics and redesigned their product to benefit this majority audience, ie men on these apps.

In 2024 women are supposed to be stronger and more independent than ever, why weren’t they messaging first on bumble?

They did. Lots of successful dating stories, relationships and marriages have stemmed from the Bumble app during the last decade. But as established those happy customers have no need for this app any longer. The reality is the women that are still actively using Bumble are overwhelmingly outnumbered. For every 2-3 guys she messages & dates there’s dozens of un-messaged men, that’s just how the numbers play out.

But couldn’t they have tried another tactic before changing the entire premise of their app?

They likely did. A lot of market research probably went into this business decision. But there’s no strategy to make a consumer group suddenly need a product they don’t think they need. Frankly, a lot of us women just don’t prioritize dating. (My personal take, is that saying by Einstein defining insanity as doing the same thing over and over again but expecting a different result. It’s effectively that.)

Of all the things I could devote my time, energy and resources to, dating has the least return of investment. It carries more risk, safety and health concerns. Most women I know would rather prioritize family, friendships, hobbies, and career because those have a practical and sustainable impact on our lives- and are far more efficiently achieved without the undue risk.

Please note that this apt business analysis was brought to you by a woman, as was the savvy business decision from Bumble's CEO.

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wtknight · 2024-05-20T02:13:05+00:00

[permanently deleted]

TRTGymBro1 · 2024-05-20T10:53:38+00:00

And that should be good news for men who are ready to take the reins. And bad news for men who don't have the balls to be in charge.

BeautifulTree5607 · 2024-05-20T15:45:25+00:00

I don’t think it proves anything about who is in charge. It does debunk some of their claimed victim mentality though. Women will look back on history and claim they were dependent because they were forced to be so, but evidence in modern day points to the fact that women wanted to be dependent on men who would work protect provide for them. In a weird way it is women calling the shots behind the scenes, but I do think they will use their sexual power to ensure men uphold their traditional gender roles for their benefit. Women are a lot smarter and empowered than they give themselves credit for.

Nellylocheadbean · 2024-05-20T16:21:31+00:00

I think when women shoot their shot first they’re going to do it with the absolute best man she sees and I mean absolute best, like a 6’2 investment banker or something. The women who go scouting for the athletes in college or the medical doctors in residency are great examples.

Women aren’t going to initiate with the average guy.

DarkSector0011 · 2024-05-20T22:34:48+00:00

Seems to me like women felt they were devalued by having to make the first move. They just consistently forgot or didn't want to.

That was always my sense.

But business first obviously. Some women will be very happy to boost their simp legions and have more guys on duty for foodie calls and extracting money if they think that they can. Or just general bullying and humiliation which seems to be standard. Lmao.

Professional_Chair28 · 2024-05-20T07:44:56+00:00

The women were probably all sitting there waiting for men to make the first move even though it wasn’t even possible. If there was one man left on earth they’d all still sit around waiting for him to approach and then accuse him of harassment if he ever did. But the idea of approaching someone for dating is so alien and unacceptable to them that they couldn’t do it. They just cannot conceive the very simple concept that “for dating to exist, someone must make the first the move.” Thats a concept far beyond their comprehension, apparently. They’re too busy thinking anyone who ever approaches anyone is committing harassment.

CraftyCooler · 2024-05-20T04:08:48+00:00

Women make terrible leaders but not because of lack of initiative in dating, but rather because they are too self centered and short sighted.

cameron339 · 2024-05-20T03:47:19+00:00

Well said!

Love-Is-Selfish · 2024-05-20T02:22:52+00:00

It’s evidence that men are better suited to lead in some ways, not that men will always be in charge. Also, it doesn’t support traditional dynamics. Those have some serious flaws. It doesn’t support that the issue is a matter of natural instincts. It’s not. Also, someone could say that it’s evidence that the culture currently doesn’t support women taking the lead but the culture could change so that it supports women taking the lead.

Title	Bumble Backtracking is Proof That Men Will Always Be in Charge
Author	FiliusHades
Upvotes	1
Comments	374
Date	May 20, 2024 1:31 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1cw3wh5/bumble_backtracking_is_proof_that_men_will_always/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/bumble-backtracking-is-proof-that-men-will-always.1518989 https://theredarchive.com/post/1518989

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