Cheating Mega Thread

billsull_02842 · 2021-05-16T06:25:04+00:00

it seems to me women are attracted to cheaters.

LeJacquelope · 2021-05-16T05:50:09+00:00

It is quite telling about the female zeitgeist that women feel they should have a right to force their ex-husband to pay child support for a kid she had with Chad from an affair. Worse so that they have the cheek to use "for the good of the child" to justify enslaving men like this.

The Red Pill isn't lying about this particular hazard.

owta_this_world · 2021-05-15T06:04:54+00:00

"Men are like parking spaces, the best are already taken."

That's all I have to say.

kissmetilyouredrunk · 2021-05-15T00:24:59+00:00

I'd rather a guy cheat on me then tell me he wants an "open relationship". Like respect me enough to lie to me, dude

flamingoinghome · 2021-05-14T14:04:02+00:00

Kicking the hornet's nest for a sec: why do the people who think it's totally okay for a very appealing man to cheat, and a womanwould never reeeaaallllly mind, and it's nbd, really, truly, I insist have an aversion to such a man simply opening his relationship? Why does he have to lie? If this is all totally normal and okay and no one really minds, really, honest, then why is subterfuge required?

If a particularly attractive guy is going to make women cool with non-monogamy, why the need for a dishonest monogamy hat? And why have these guys apparently never heard of being poly or open?

Also, can we get a consistent definition of "HVM"? Half the time it seems to mean professional athlete, the other half it's just "a handsome guy with a good income."

Icy_Reference_515 · 2021-05-13T19:16:36+00:00

The verbal trash that I am reading in this thread makes me question whether some of these people have social lives.

rft24 · 2021-05-13T17:31:36+00:00

a lot of these arguments are really just people talking about their ideas of what a “high value man” is, in regards to cheating especially.

i feel like y’all are always having to be reminded that men and women define that term differently.

also, this whole thread is proof that men can be, and are, just as allergic to accountability as women are. if mods decide to do a thread on single parents or teen moms, then we’ll really see it.

annabeelongx · 2021-05-12T23:29:29+00:00

The discord link in invalid

Aldabruzzo · 2021-05-12T20:04:22+00:00

Cheating: If you're a high value man, it's not cheating, it's exercising options. Women are not permitted to cheat, ever. It is too easy for women to do so. Female cheating is almost always fatal to a marriage, as well it should be. Male cheating: She won't leave if she knows she can't do any better and if she knows that her life will be easier and better financially if she stays married.

_lemazaki · 2021-05-12T19:11:45+00:00

You are allowed to cheat if you bring 70% - 100% $$$ to the table and she denies you sex frequently with no good reason. You are going to get fucked anyway if you guys divorce.

If you guys put 50% each... you guys must talk to see whats going on and if this don´t work it´s best to break up with respect.

bionix90 · 2021-05-12T06:13:30+00:00

Never Justified (unless they cheated on you first and you have viable proof; in which case you should just break up with them anyway lol).

You can't stop it from happening though; all you can do is make sure your partner knows it's a Dealbreaker and they will NEVER see/hear from you again if they Cheat 🤷

I don't do that Reconciliation garbage; that's for Simps/Doormats.

etwiqqlieywitvhlajc · 2021-05-11T21:47:11+00:00

On god imma stay cheating on these hoes

There’s only one woman I ever found quality enough to stay faithful to.

etwiqqlieywitvhlajc · 2021-05-11T21:41:51+00:00

Confession:

I cheated on my ex-gf the same day she told me she said “I love you” for the first time

DerekMorganBAU · 2021-05-11T20:13:40+00:00

Cheating is as natural as breathing to me. I've cheated on all of my LTRs.

If they had cheated on me I'd be happy cause then I can cheat back with a built in excuse. Unfortunately I never had that chance.

Ladyofblades · 2021-05-11T15:41:10+00:00

A man who can’t keep his word is no good and automatically low value

Crafty-Particular998 · 2021-05-11T08:58:52+00:00

There are different types of cheaters and cheating. There are ones who deliberately start and continue affairs, ones who do it to escape abuse (I can forgive those ones), cowards, selfish people, and people who try to make a relationship work because they were brought up to never quit easily and then they just happen to fall in love with someone else. Each case is different. Some cheaters are nasty af, some aren’t so bad.

SUEDE2BLACK · 2021-05-11T04:30:26+00:00

There's no excuse for a woman to cheat,just leave the relationship.

A woman brings femininity and exclusive sex to a relationship that's her main role.A man is supposed to bring finances resources and protection

Only LVM cheat,HVM exercise options.

Most men won't cheat if their woman is fit feminine and cooperative.IE having sex with him without an attitude ultimatum and BS.

If a man cheats its the woman's fault 9xout of 10.

Some men are sex addicts and have problems.

Far-Touch-6370 · 2021-05-11T02:52:25+00:00

Worst for girls. I think you should know the dynamic of your relationship first I’d your dating a rapper/artist/singer, and he has made it clear he is highly sexual, you have to know there is no guarantee. Also dating a HVM, you are not the prize. He is. You are the lucky one, the valued but the replaceable, among many others who will be better than you. If your taking a HVM time and cheating on him, that just means your not a good girlfriend and you can be replaced. Men are only as faithful as their options. I think it’s mens responsibility to be all they can be and spread their seed da and wide if they so choose, but be honest. And women, don’t be emotionals little babies, we have been known this all along. It’s better to know the dynamic and where you stand and work with it.

throwingwearethrowin · 2021-05-10T23:32:45+00:00

Why do older men cheat? It’s like there wife gives him her best years and as soon as she is no longer “fuckable” without being a sugar mama, he starts cheating? If that happens to me I will just use his money and get a hot young man as a sugar mama.

FrequentPangolin · 2021-05-10T21:37:52+00:00

Cheating is bad mmmm'kay

jax006 · 2021-05-10T20:22:31+00:00

Say you've been dating someone for several months. Haven't explicitly talked about exclusivity, but seems implied to you.

Find your partner swiping on OLD apps - not necessarily meeting up with anyone, let alone boning, but kind of browsing.

Do you consider that "cheating"? Maybe not quite cheating, but writing on the wall? Would you full-stop break up with them or try to understand/work thru it?

LowCreddit · 2021-05-10T16:36:49+00:00

There is only one good reason to cheat as a man. You are married, with children, and your wife dead bedrooms you. You are first obligated to trying to resolve the dead bedroom, but it's just not possible in some situations. At that point, it is okay to cheat.

YoMamaz_azz · 2021-05-10T16:10:07+00:00

Personally I cheat any time I have the opportunity. Most relationships are going to end regardless of if you are faithful or not. (All if you want to be pedantic about it). So might as well.

rft24 · 2021-05-10T14:09:40+00:00

i think the general consensus is: cheating is bad, just break up.

i would certainly leave my partner for cheating. i would also leave them if i found it too difficult to remain faithful. open relationships aren’t so taboo anymore, just don’t commit to monogamy if you can’t handle it and control yourself.

Laytheblameonluck · 2021-05-10T14:06:15+00:00

What's worse, being in a dead bedroom for 7 years with no cheating, or no dead bedroom but they are cheating?

goofstaffshin · 2021-05-10T08:06:57+00:00

imo, young women cheat significantly more than young dudes. Especially young white girls. Whereas young white men are properly pussywhipped into being faithful.

I've been with several white girls I suspected of cheating or I knew were cheating.

At older ages, men cheat more.

iamthemovie1992 · 2021-05-10T07:26:02+00:00

How would it be justified? Just break up ffs

Ladyofblades · 2021-05-10T07:09:49+00:00

I’m more of the male mindset that physical cheating is worse than emotional cheating. I don’t care if someone somehow develops a crush or liking for someone else, but if they act on it it’s over. Feelings change, but if you get an std or get someone pregnant there are much worse consequences.

To cheaters or would be cheaters - If you’re an adult then have an open or poly relationship instead of cheating and stop being a selfish hypocrite who can’t stand the thought of their partner being with someone else.

IcarusKiki · 2021-05-10T07:04:15+00:00

Cheating is bad but I would be more devastated if my SO emotionally cheated on me with another woman than if he had physically done so.

StiophanOC · 2021-05-10T06:13:51+00:00

My personal head canon is that cheating is only ever justified...if there's abuse in the relationship, physical/emotional/mental, whatever.

Because, for me, any abusive relationship isn't a relationship anymore regardless of what the abuser or the wider society thinks.

Mentallyillretard · 2021-05-10T06:04:10+00:00

Whores gonna whore

FBI_Van_2274 · 2021-05-10T05:44:47+00:00

Never justified. End thread.

BarestBranch · 2021-05-10T05:17:40+00:00

I don't really get the big deal with cheating. Like, I get why historically/culturally it has become a big deal. Cheating represented a threat to the integrity of the family, and more importantly, a man's lineage. It's why marriage was sanctified, and sex was heavily moralized. So I understand the cultural baggage but can't we all see that baggage for what it is these days. Just baggage. Through a modern lense it just doesn't make that much sense. There are so many ways to prevent or abort a pregnancy and I feel like most people nowadays understand that sex can be perfectly casual. So why is cheating still such a big deal? Why would your partner having sex with someone else hurt a lot but them having a deep emotional conversation with someone else be fine?

Personally, I have some expectations of a relationship. Expectations for the amount of time spent on it, about the sexual chemistry between us, about the way I'm treated; if those expectations are being met why the hell should I care what my partner's doing when I'm not around. Like, I understand that it can lead to jealousy but it's not like you can get jealous about what you don't know/don't hear about. I just don't see how your partner has 'wronged' you through the simple act of having sex with someone else. Closest explanation I can understand is that they've broken a promise to you but the basis for that promise (don't sleep with anyone else because it is 'the worst thing you can do') just doesn't fit our modern views on sex anymore.

Granted, I'd never try to push these views on anyone else or use them as a justification to cheat myself. I know most people don't feel this way and I respect that.

Spacechichen_1990 · 2021-05-10T04:10:36+00:00

Cheating will happen if you are incompatible regardless, there are no steps you can do to prevent it except clearly talk about intentions and needs.

Cheating is never justified but it can be rationalized. I can understand why ppl cheat but still find it morally reprehensible.

Saying that I have been tempted to cheat once, my partner of the time had stopped fucking me and I was severely depressed about it. I never did it but I understand the temptation. After that I broke up, thoughts about cheating never even occurred to me in a happy relationship.

Murphysmongoose · 2021-05-10T03:57:18+00:00

Yes, it can be justified. Not for the person who got cheated on to ever take them back... But for the two in the tango.

If the person cheating was/is being abused in any way, including mental/emotional neglect... Then accidents can happen. They were kind of asking for it. Building the sand castle themselves.

Spacechichen_1990 · 2021-05-10T03:20:55+00:00

[deleted]

2021-05-10T03:03:46+00:00

Never cheated. Been with a few girls who were cheating though.

NarniaFox · 2021-05-10T02:49:15+00:00

I don't think cheating is justified in most common scenarios. There are some exceptions that other commenters have listed - like having a partner with dementia and stuff, but I'd hope these cases are exceptionally rare.

I'm not sure that it's "the worst betrayal", there is stuff worse. It is still a betrayal though, a violation of trust.

I think most cheaters cheat because they think it's okay for them to do so. Bad morals, bad decision making. All in all, not the smartest people around there. And I doubt there's a way to stop one from cheating. You can give the wolf the best food, but he would hanker for the woods.

Dead bedroom isn't an excuse for cheating - divorce or at least separate first and then have all the sex you want.

Laytheblameonluck · 2021-05-10T02:15:43+00:00

I don't understand how societies have loosen the agreement of relationships and marriage so that it's okay to "go have fun" with other people but only beforehand, yet still view cheating as strictly wrong, when it's so similar.

If a partner says they aren't interested in sex anymore, that their interest in sex was in an earlier period of their life with other people, and they hid this from you, how is markedly different to saying your interest in sex is with other people in the present and this has been hidden as well?

Why is it that we view cheating so differently?

I think it lies in the fact that having partners in the present is more a threat to paternal investment, whereas having previous partners is a threat to paternal certainty.

Cheating comes up a lot in the dead bedroom forums, people talk about it but never do it, but also so does this attitude from low libido partners that it's entirely okay that they were more interested in fucking other people.

RDelbson · 2021-05-10T02:15:32+00:00

Picture this. A couple is in their 40s or 50s. The man doesn't get sex from the wife, because, in her words "she's too old," or "sex isn't really important," or "it's just too much pressure." You know, the standard excuses.

The man is a mid-level manager, or a ceo, or succesful in some other way, and he's able to attract some 27 year old hot girl. Or maybe he signs up for a sugar dating website. He cheats on his wife.

The wife finds out. But instead of getting mad and filing for divorce, she turns a blind eye. She pretends it isn't happening. Or maybe even she feels a bit relieved, because now she feels like she isn't pressured to have sex with him. He can get his needs met, and she can sip wine and go the spa and not bother with sex.

Is cheating in this scenario justified?

Namah-Mayco · 2021-05-10T02:14:33+00:00

Cheating's never justified, and I do think it is one of the worst things you can do to another person psychologically. People can get suicidal over getting cheated on, and even if they don't get pushed that far, it can leave them with lifelong trauma and trust issues, ruining whatever future relationships they build. Just read the SurvivingMyInfidelity or SurvivingInfidelity subreddits if you want a bad time.

Bandit174 · 2021-05-10T02:04:40+00:00

Cheating, is it ever justified?

It's justified when women do it. Women are kweens and if their needs aren't being met by their current partner they should be allowed to test the waters until they find a suitable replacement.

Is it the worst betrayal that will certainly land you in hell?

Don't believe in hell and there are definitely worse things that can be done to you than being cheated on.

What are the conditions that make people want to cheat?

Current partner lacking compared to other available options.

Is there anything we can do to prevent our partners from cheating?

Bring enough value to the table that you are viewed as worthy of being comitted to or open up the relationship so she can get what you lack from other men.

nyclaurco · 2021-05-10T01:38:43+00:00

i’ve always said that the only excuse for it is if your partner is abusing you, and they’ve somehow financially or physically trapped you to stay with them. like, if they’re hitting you and gaslighting you, who the hell cares if you start a new relationship while you create your escape plan? it’s probably not healthy since you should heal on your own after that kind of situation, though.

however, i’ve been seeing all of these stories about one spouse refusing to touch the other for years. years! so what if the spouse steps out on the one who has refused to touch them for years? what are they cheating them out of exactly? i don’t mean that it’s morally fine to do that to a spouse who is mentally or physically unwell: if you really cannot leave, you should have a discussion about an open relationship to get your needs met in that case. i mean porn addicts or narcs who get off on withholding or a spouse who just doesn’t care to fix the issue whom you can’t leave because of financial reasons or kids.

i’m kind of talking out my ass, though. i’ve never cheated or been cheated on (to my knowledge... lol), so i don’t really know what it’s like to go through this kind of thing.

Ppdebateismental · 2021-05-10T01:34:12+00:00

Cheating, is it ever justified? Nah, just be honest. Break up or find another arrangement if both parties can agree

Is it the worst betrayal that will certainly land you in hell? Oh hell no...I just watched an old 20/20 ...guy killed his wife for insurance money AND THEN HIS OWN SON. For 700k. Looking at all the horror humans are capable of inflicting one each other?Cheating is child’s play

What are the conditions that make people want to cheat? Depends on the person. Some are married but starved for sex, for love, for attention. Some people are narcissistic or sociopaths. Some need to feed their ego.

Is there anything we can do to prevent our partners from cheating? See above. Some people have principles, some want to be faithful but are weak, some people are straight up evil. I would say that most people “of a certain age” will be less likely to cheat if they are getting their needs met within their relationship. But young people? Under mid 20’s? Imho that’s a dice roll.

alberto-hoff · 2021-05-10T01:30:10+00:00

I’m a cheater. My father is a piece of shit cheater who destroyed my moms life, finances, and sanity. Nope, not going to be getting married or making any man commit to me unless he’s a sexual degenerate swinger, it’s better this way. I don’t want to hurt anyone, but most cheaters are going to want the best of both worlds.

Title	Cheating Mega Thread
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	7
Comments	494
Date	May 9, 2021 8:00 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/n8m6l3/cheating_mega_thread/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cheating-mega-thread.758043 https://theredarchive.com/post/758043

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