Question for those in this sub who keep saying partying and drinking is the key to finding partners and casual sex....

lulll · 2021-09-26T18:58:17+00:00

you're 27, if you haven't spent much time doing all that night life bars/clubs stuff by now you probably aren't going to suddenly find it enjoyable. people are going to tell you to go try bars and clubs but that advice is coming from people who have always liked going to those places since they were old enough, so its not going to help you.

so whats the answer? don't know, you have to figure that out for yourself based on what you enjoy doing and not based on what internet people tell you to do

poppy_blu · 2021-09-26T18:23:56+00:00

I’ve made recommendations here before to get involved in hobby stuff. Like coed kickball, which I did in my 20s. It’s exists for drinking, partying and hooking up. Two couples I’m still friends with met that way and are still together. Softball leagues are another excuse to drink (though they will expect you to actually have some athletic ability).

A couple of my male friends said volunteering is a good way to meet women (volunteer groups tend to be 95%+ female). Of course you don’t want to show up drunk to volunteer but where else are you gonna get odds like that?

Basically any hobby you have you can find some co-Ed social group doing it. Even my hiking group goes out drinking afterwards.

Empyrean_MX_Prime · 2021-09-27T01:13:46+00:00

Like most things in life, past 25 the best advice is "travel back in time to when you were 15 and try again".

For something more realistic, I don't know. People tend to have their social circles fixed by 25 and don't want any new friends. Trying to become part of a new social circle will require consistent contact, at least once a week.

CFinCanada · 2021-09-26T19:31:22+00:00

I am in my 30s and know more than one party chick who is DTF.

I have a large group of friends and we go to concerts, hit up patios, go clubbing, go to film festivals, and do all sorts of fun ish on the weekends. Sometimes it's just house parties and birthday parties, yeah. I live in a major city and know few people with kids. That's the clincher.

Some of us are taken, some are single. But out of maybe 70 friends and acquaintances (in my extended network), only 4 have kids.

You know too many married people with kids that's your issue. Have you considered moving somewhere more populated and more expensive?

couldbemage · 2021-09-26T23:46:27+00:00

If you've been a boring homebody all your life you will have a tough learning curve trying to get into the party scene. Generally you build these connections over years in school. If you start going to clubs and party events now it's possible, but that is going to mean dozens of club nights mostly just being at the club by yourself.

Various party events exist, and it's slightly easier to start with those, but still hard. You're learning a while new skill set, and that is going to take time.

All sorts of event public listings can be found... But those are just a gateway to getting invited to private parties.

Stuff like local burner events are good. Things like wasteland weekend, raves, labyrinth of jareth.

These exist. But if you've never done this sort of thing, it might not be for you.

I partied in college, but not much after that, until at 29 I started going to bdsm clubs. Worked out for me, but I'd done plenty of parties in school.

ragman75 · 2021-09-26T20:29:14+00:00

idk how it is for women your age but if you are looking at getting girls in their early 20s and younger clubs and parties are a terrible place to get women, 9 out of 10 girls is literally just there to get drunk and be looked at.

SmurfESmurferson · 2021-09-27T03:18:49+00:00

Do bars near you not have happy hour? Half priced wine night? Bands and DJs?

NockerJoe · 2021-09-26T18:00:40+00:00

Its called social skills. I just started conversations with coworkers, friends of friends, random people I was around at the time. Eventually I started getting invited to parties and some of those parties had women who were interested.

Even when I didn't, I still, y'know, made friends and had a good time.

Im_The_Daiquiri_Man · 2021-09-26T18:28:16+00:00

As said by others, go to a damn bar and become a regular. Chat people up (guys) at first.

Get to know the bartender(s) well.

Go on a slower night so it’s easier to talk / sit.

Have something interesting to talk about.

Don’t dress or act like a creep / loser. Smile a lot and try to make people feel good about themselves.

That may not get you laid but it will 100% get you accepted into some drinking / partying communities.

Then follow RP guidelines to make yourself the most fuckable version of yourself.

From that point on it’s a numbers game.

Fish with a net, not with a pole.

Paliant · 2021-09-26T19:02:38+00:00

Just go to the bar bro! I have a few problems with this. One, personally, alcohol has destroyed my family on both my mother and fathers side so drinking has a negative stigma attached for me personally. Two,Gen-Zers (zoomers) are incredibly less social than previous generations because of growing up with tech. As a young guy you can go out and approach girls but they have so many options, rejection is literally a game to zoomer girls. You’re lucky if they politely diss you off, more than likely they’ll act condescending and at worst you’ll be a laughing stock on tik tok. A lot of old school advice is not working for younger folks (especially guys) because zoomers are facing paradigm shifts in employment, socializing, self-actualizing, in community and etc.

JameisBong · 2021-09-26T19:59:16+00:00

Have hobbies and hang out with SOME coworkers who will introduce you to their friends.

roaming_bartender · 2021-09-26T23:35:52+00:00

its damn near impossible

I'm in my older 20s, went out with friends to a bar this weekend. We were leaving but i decided to stay behind because i saw a beautiful blonde at the bar wondering what to order. I gave her my personal recommendation and we hit it off from there. I had one friend stay back because the group told me he needed help getting laid. He put this girl on a weirded out vibe and within (literally) 5 minutes i had her tongue in my mouth.

Its not damn near impossible for you to go to a bar and talk to someone. She chatted with me when she assumed i was alone and she still french kissed me asap despite my friend hurting my chances with her, especially since i had to walk his drunk ass home. So why is it near impossible for you to do what i did?

King8Kaista · 2021-09-27T08:23:37+00:00

Commit to an activity, like salsa. Lots of beautiful women there

Cuntwaffe2 · 2021-09-26T18:26:59+00:00

People need to stop fucking drunk people. I see a lot of crying about people being accused of rape, but people still put themselves in these positions.

back_in_blyat · 2021-09-26T18:35:50+00:00

I am 27 and work a 9 to 5 job and was able to just go to random bars, meet some guy friends, establish a friend circle, then go out with them and get integrated into more circles from there. It's really not that hard just go up to some dive bar type scenes and chat random people up while you drink.

xQueen-Bx · 2021-09-26T18:11:51+00:00

youve never heard of a bar or a club? what planet are you all from

wtknight · 2021-09-26T18:11:57+00:00

I used to go out to bars and women in an inebriated state would give out IOIs and even approach sometimes - not Stacies, but just average women. I find it hard to believe that things have changed so much that average women are no longer doing this at bars and parties. Men just need a decent haircut, wardrobe and to have a bit of confidence to get female attention.

PlayfulLawyer · 2021-09-26T19:30:26+00:00

I was never too much of a party animal, but depending on the city, there's always a party/lively club around, I live in Chicago so that's never been a problem

WilliamGrand · 2021-09-26T20:15:07+00:00

Hit the gym, then retry online dating. Lifting is an absolute must for any man who wants a woman these days, especially if you lack a social life.

Luisd858 · 2021-09-26T21:33:34+00:00

Join a singles bowling group or something, make new friends, go out to bars. Boom done

eyewave · 2021-09-27T13:53:01+00:00

once I've met an fwb in a choir... everything can happen mate.

If you think bars and clubs are trash don't go.

If you desire to try them, keep an eye open for uni party flyers; who cares if you hook up with some 22-yo graduate.

xDoctrineoftheMeanx · 2021-09-26T18:04:16+00:00

Just give up then.

Playful_Art_5364 · 2021-09-27T04:25:24+00:00

Literally any nightclub. Seriously do you guys every leave your computers?

philomexa · 2021-09-26T17:59:39+00:00

Sucks to suck. 🤷‍♀️

LadyM2 · 2021-09-26T19:39:26+00:00

Partying and alcohol are never good. Stop buying such bullshit from bad people.

Rosifer433d · 2021-09-26T19:03:39+00:00

The plight of your average male? Not really. It's the plight of a 27 year old man who doesn't approach women out on the street after they have given him the signals to approach them. It's the light of a 27 year old man who doesn't do the work.

Anyway, it's simple. You have friends? Those friends have girlfriends. Those girlfriends have female friends. Those female friends are single, and they are looking to date. Those women your friends are in a relationship with are going to introduce you to their single female friends, and from there, if there's chemistry and mutual interest, you date them.

PopRevolutionary1475 · 2021-09-26T18:28:12+00:00

Nah. Don't go to parties or clubbing.

Don't want a one time of pleasure, and then get "Burned" for it. Or have cops showing up at your door.

Get a hooker, if you want to get laid badly.

gimpgirl555 · 2021-09-26T17:58:43+00:00

Forget about parties and just pay for it.

But if you insist: get to know guys who host parties. Or use a cute female friend as a ticket. You can also ask the wives of your friends to set you up.

Orange_Paisley · 2021-09-26T18:15:05+00:00

Go to a bar or club once a week for a couple of hours. Meet some people.

Mark_Freed · 2021-09-26T18:14:49+00:00

Just get a doll, fleshlight, and a vr headset. “Sex” on demand.

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Physiologist21 · 2021-09-27T03:24:44+00:00

Find some hobby groups? Hang around a local university, talk to people. Effort.

CommanderBobcat · 2021-09-27T03:31:13+00:00

You are correct. You will never get sex. You didn't make the cut.

gopher_glitz · 2021-09-27T14:46:10+00:00

These types of social circles exist. They're usually in or near wealthy coastal cities in the bar/night life industry. People living in downtown areas within walking or short uber rides to their apartments. It's all a numbers game of circumstances. You gotta be into drinking and probably coke etc. You gotta get into the social group and yes many of these form in college. College is 60% female now so there's lots of opportunities for the top 1% of that 40% of men. The guy I knew who got laid the most was a drug dealer.

festethefoole1 · 2021-09-27T22:57:53+00:00

I relate to this hugely. I turned 31 and nights out at clubs no longer happen barring the occasional work night once every few months. I’m successful on apps but I can’t see how you’re supposed to find yourself people to go “on the pull” with when most people this age are paired off and the ones who are single are usually slightly weird or quiet or just wouldn’t fit into a nightclub environment.

Once you’re there in the club it isn’t a school disco. Women and men invariably mix in groups and plenty of them may or may not be taken. So you can’t approach one girl you have to approach the entire group. And many of those groups include men as well which makes things way more awkward.

I’d be a virgin if it weren’t for dating apps. 100%.

festethefoole1 · 2021-09-27T23:09:27+00:00

One thing you can do is get tickets for rave DJ gigs and house music gigs and that sort of thing where there’s an artist or DJ you can justifiably claim you’re into enough to not be seen as a weirdo for going on your own. I think you can meet people that way. Maybe.

It’s really hard because ultimately you need a group of 2-3 single and sociable friends keen to get together and hit the clubs at the weekend.

MountainDry2344 · 2021-09-28T10:23:17+00:00

Realistically, join a mixed-gender sports/activity club, yoga class, and/or a singles group on a website like Meetup.com. "Network" your way into circles where people party and stuff - sometimes you can initiate this yourself by inviting someone to the bar later, then invite 3 people, then invite 5, etc. until your social group is filled with people who are down to hang out at a bar. Among this group, there's a good chance that there'll be people who are interested in partying and hooking up etc. Propose going out clubbing, and see if there are any takers. If there aren't, go for a different social circle. If you want to join a social circle that smokes, it's actually a good idea to say you've never smoked before and want to try - those guys are really eager to share that "first time" experience for some reason lol

Also, by networking, I really mean networking. Every contact you make should lead to a few more contacts on average. Like if you hang out with someone at the bar, you should meet their friends at some point and/or make plans to hang out again with more people. Then when you meet those friends, try to meet their friends. After a few iterations of this you'll hopefully find yourself in a position where you're invited (or can invite yourself to) some party or event.

Title	Question for those in this sub who keep saying partying and drinking is the key to finding partners and casual sex....
Author	jkj1993
Upvotes	38
Comments	258
Date	September 26, 2021 5:53 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/pvyqls/question_for_those_in_this_sub_who_keep_saying/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/question-for-those-in-this-sub-who-keep-saying.1074149 https://theredarchive.com/post/1074149

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