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noonewonone · 2022-02-16T14:41:09+00:00

It’s not looks as much as confidence. It seems you’re quite insecure about yourself so girls can pick up on that.

So you’re kinda tall, fashionable, wealthy with good hygiene. How’s your posture? How’s your tone of voice? Do you make self-depreciating comments? Do you mumble or speak articulately?

I was ugly af in high school and college. I compensated by being twice as funny, interesting, and quick-witted as the next guy. If I couldn’t be easy on the eyes, I could be at least enjoyable to interact with. You’re really in trouble when you’re not either.

Quit comparing yourself to other guys. I can tell you think too much and are constantly worrying when you should live more in the moment.

Hit the gym harder than you are currently, read more and strive to become a gentlemen who people enjoy being around. Don’t be so sex focused. Seduction is the only goal. Sex is but the reward which is never guaranteed.

Poopchuggingrobot · 2022-02-16T14:06:49+00:00

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skatinislife446 · 2022-02-16T14:45:35+00:00

I’ve gotten more women with my Dad Bod than I ever did as a bodybuilder/endurance athlete.

You should look into Cognitive Therapy frameworks. These narratives you tell yourself are very distorted from reality and actively self-detrimental.

stanthemilkman88 · 2022-02-16T15:48:13+00:00

Are you fat though? Thousands of times by 22? Most? Only do 9 and 10 bro?

Poopchuggingrobot · 2022-02-16T19:07:56+00:00

Google Christiano ronaldo when he was 16 and what he looks like now. Then you'll see what success, hard work, and MONEY can accomplish. You will age into the best version of yourself soon enough. This is an opportunity to focus on yourself and work really fucking hard. Eventually the women will come. You'll be ready!!!

Skinny_Wizard · 2022-02-16T19:42:16+00:00

Man that's some incel shit. I am ugly but women love me because I am interesting. Have some fun and women will join in.

alikebabay · 2022-02-16T16:22:00+00:00

You are not an anomaly. You belong to majority. Look up statistics, its like 30 percent of youg men who never had sex. It is a lot. You just happen to see a lot of successful guys. If I was in my 20-s I would focus all my energy in building wealth, status, physique. And then some time on women. Well that is what I am basically doing now.

Minority of guys just happen to be born good looking. And they get life on easy mode. The rest of us have to grind.

Perfect_War5446 · 2022-02-16T15:54:04+00:00

Bro what do you mean. I see guys at my college in relationships with girls WAY out of their league all the time. Seeing dudes who I know for a fact I look better than with chicks that are super hot makes me feel better about myself

2022-02-16T16:11:23+00:00

harvey weinstein got married, you can too

Important-Quote9544 · 2022-02-16T17:30:00+00:00

As a pretty good looking guy, this is 100% false.

aStonedPanda94 · 2022-02-16T16:25:23+00:00

If I had to guess You probably just put off insecure energy when your around girls you like tbh. Please don’t consider hurting yourself man there is more to life than just trying to get girls

almighty_nsa · 2022-02-16T17:40:02+00:00

Wrongest shit ive read all day: attractive male here who didn’t get laid until his late 20s. Girls trust you less if you look really good, they think you would cheat on them in the blink of an eye.

SmallSorbet · 2022-02-16T14:12:54+00:00

You need to read more into game if you think looks are at the forefront of what girls want. For us guys they are, but not for women.

MattPruga · 2022-02-16T16:43:42+00:00

The vast majority of people in their 20s have sex at least twice a week

actually no, the vast majority of people in their 20s are virgins or incels, and it is only getting worse for us. Young men are having more difficulties nowdays than ever.

I'm in college and I have NEVER,ever seen an average/ugly guy with a girlfriend

Yes you have, they are all over the place. I've seen plenty. Sometimes I wonder how that ugly, skinny/fat dude got that girl I always wanted.

Just put yourself out there

Did you ever try approaching women? I never would have had a girl if I didn't start approach. I started only a few weeks back and now I'm seeing 3 women at the same time. Read a few of my posts.

Looks are not everything. Charisma, vibe and confidence is much more important.

EruditePolymath · 2022-02-16T18:22:54+00:00

Dude, I've seen PLENTY of fat and ugly guys get hot girlfriends simply because they have natural game. Girls care more about personality than looks. A guy can be a 10/10 in looks but if he's insecure, needy, desperate, and has a shit lifestyle, he's not getting a girlfriend (except maybe a broken girl with mental health and/or substance abuse problems.) Trust me, I've been there.

Watch The Pickup Artist seasons 1 and 2 from VH1. Then listen to the Love Systems interview series and watch PUA videos on YouTube. Work on it until you master it.

I did it in my early twenties, when I had no confidence, took me about three years to be able to easily approach and flirt with any girl I see. Then I stopped studying game and what I learned became second nature.

thelambofdeth · 2022-02-16T14:49:29+00:00

More news at 11. People want to pretend women don't have eyes and all they care about is "pErSoNaLiTy" and confidence and wtf ever. And those matter, but women will pretty much let you get away with murder and give you all the chances in the world if you're good looking. And it's not even a sexist thing, dudes are the same way but this cope that women "care more about the inside" is BS. Look at OLD and SM and you see the kinds of men women like, and they have more attention and validation that ever from OLD, SM, social circle, simps, orbiter, etc that have made them more shallow, selective, and particular than ever.

I'm 6'3, I run 5x, I have a legitimate interest in high fashion so I dress really well, I have hair, skin and grooming routines to the point of metrosexuality but I'm kinda ugly and black so I'm pretty much invisible to women despite the work I've put in. It's all about the face.

itsnimportequoi · 2022-02-16T16:31:38+00:00

Pete davidson, fucked ariana grande, that says that you're wrong.

(And don't say they're celebrities so it's different, she's an A list celeb and he's like D list)

Efficient-Prompt-793 · 2022-02-16T17:12:35+00:00

Yes. It's true. A girl knows if she will sleep with you within the first few seconds of meeting her. Looks are important.

But that doesn't mean every girl thinks you're ugly. This is why it's your job to approach and find one's that do.

Also, most guys our age AREN'T having as much sex as you think. In fact, studies show that your problem is becoming more prevelant. Doesn't matter though, ignore that noise.

Go to the gym, build a good physique and start approaching girls.

DMON_98 · 2022-02-16T18:06:38+00:00

Unless you look like an elephant man then looks don’t matter, your attitude does.

2022-02-16T19:17:31+00:00

Ugly people have sex too lol

Patronus100 · 2022-02-16T20:10:25+00:00

Just be confident bro. Back to incels.wiki with you, scum.

maceod · 2022-02-16T13:55:37+00:00

Don’t give up hope, friend. First, you’re still young as far as relationships go, especially for a man. Secondly, attractive men do have an advantage let’s not be coy, but their real advantage is the game from having years and years of talking to girls who initiate and the confidence that comes with it

stanthemilkman88 · 2022-02-16T14:20:07+00:00

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Metamario · 2022-02-16T15:17:31+00:00

send me your money before you an hero OP, will put it to good use

2022-02-16T14:41:12+00:00

Looks aren’t everything, the are important for sure.

Beaverray · 2022-02-16T16:10:55+00:00

Unless you have a huge cock ..then looks don't really matter 😉🤪

Agitated_Character41 · 2022-02-16T17:07:37+00:00

Ugly and fat women have vaginas too man. Just lower your standards. It's so much easier to talk to women when you're indifferent. Practice on them and use that knowledge for women you're attracted to. to.

jtaylor27141 · 2022-02-16T18:16:10+00:00

Guys that look like Brad Pitt still get rejected. You can have an amazing personality and still get rejected. You can be exciting and confident as fuck and still get rejected. Dating is a numbers game. Most women will not like you. Think about how many close great friendships you’ve had over your life. It’s about the same odds.

I’ve had thousands of girls swipe right on my pictures on dating apps, tell me I’m super handsome and even manage to get a few out on dates. Majority of women either ghost or tell me there’s ‘no spark’ after the first date, even if they stick their tongue down my throat when I go in for the kiss and passionately make out with me, or have sex. And I’m an above average looking guy who’s done modelling, who’s not going out on dates with 9’s or 10’s.

Live-Ad-6309 · 2022-02-16T19:59:21+00:00

Unfortunately looks are not everything. As a hot guy. It's still no guarantee you'll get laid.

For a man to be successful, there are 3 important traits.

Looks
Charisma (social status/game)
Professional success

A man who only has 1 of these traits, will not be successful with women. A man who has 2. Will see moderate success with women. A man with all 3 has 10s lining up to date him.

Oh, and also. None of these work without self confidence. That's a pre-requisite for even being considered.

reallyred11 · 2022-02-16T22:59:10+00:00

Looks actually don’t matter for men. As in, you don’t have to be a super handsome man for women. It’s more so confidence and your spirit.

Patronus100 · 2022-02-16T20:08:01+00:00

5'11" is not a decent height. I'm 6'3" and even that's barely considered tall nowadays. Cope harder.

ZoeticLark · 2022-02-16T17:21:38+00:00

You made all these judgment calls, and maybe that narrative is what is holding you down. I struggle with my own narrative and trying to make friends and I'm a moderately attractive woman. Looks are not everything. I am a very open and accepting person (which now has me hermitting due to high levels of societal narcissism at this time)... but I wanted to point out that me, with my pretty face and dancer's body, I have similar issues, and they stem from inside, as most relational problems do. To your point: I dated a guy with one arm whose nick name was screw loose. Why? Because he had a heart of gold and we could geek out talking about technical things together (he's an engineer, I'm a trades person/artist). He lost his arm in an accident 20 years ago. Tbh, he isn't particularly handsome either, not by most peoples' standards. Downright ugly by some standards. But I saw the beauty in him. What was the spark? He asked me what I was reading at the local pub, and the rest is history, we had 1 good year. Why did we break up? Bc the relationship fizzled. We have remained friends (i know at this time, how weird lol) and through this period of friendship I have realized that he has some things that he hasnt dealt with so no matter how much i wanted to be a part of his life, live in his new home with him and be our weird selves together, he probably couldnt see what i saw and didnt understand why i loved him. Deep down, this is my instinct about where he is at. I have a feeling that he still has feelings, but his high level of stoicism (to protect himself) makes it hard for me to feel any cultivation of attraction and I'm a 50/50 effort kind of gal. i have a hard time reading what he wants and it's hard to even base a friendship with someone who is as stoic as he is at this point. Of course, it's easier to point our lens at others, so I'm not going to touch on my own part in things not working, but much of it was a response to his fear of commitment. He was afraid of living a suburban nightmare where some woman is forcing him to be a part of a routine that he doesn't want. So now he lives alone in a 4 br house with his own routines. Is that better? Not sure, maybe for him.. In a nut shell, he wants connection but he is unclear about where is boundaries were and rather than face the trauma that makes him on edge, it was easier for him to assume the worst about what I would do to him if he really let me in. How i would trap him. Forget about talking about what he wants, maybe he didn't feel we had the strength to work it out. I did, but I can't force someone to have faith in us if they can't face their own demons. Out of fear of judgement, he didnt tell me about his 1st marriage and divorce until after we'd been dating for 6 months and we ran into his ex in town and i asked why he was so rattled (it was the withholding of info, not her that shook him up). In hindsight, he was trying to hide his past because he thought I'd judge him negatively for it. A whole relationship spent like this (why is she with me, i better not fuck up by being honest) was the exact downfall of it. Our love couldn't overcome his fears. I think you need to consider that some women can perceive this subtle hostility much faster than I did. You do have a very hostile attitude toward women. It's ok. I've felt hostile toward men who rape and cut my wages for no reason and find ways to use my skills and toss me aside. I hate it, but I'm finally coming to grow the fuck up and take responsibility for my 50% role in the making of my life. Friend, please know that we live in a very strange time. We've gone from a tribal community to a network community where longevity means nothing, and it's all about promoting the self. Society and relationships have changed drastically; don't hold yourself or all women accountable for that. It's just downright childish and ignorant to think women are all that much different than you, a fellow human. I think even if an ugly man without an arm is in a relationship, if he isn't right with what he wants, then even if he has it, he will sabotage it. Life is a cruel mirror. Do you want connection bc you don't like feeling abandoned? Guess what, you get to be surrounded by people who can't keep plans, constantly forget, and also don't invite you out when hanging with mutual friends. Its a goddam mystery and maddening to boot. I don't blame you for wanting to take your life. This is the world we are in now. The mirror is so powerful and many more will die bc they dont understand it But I think you can help yourself and others struggling with the same issue if you choose a different path and stop consuming that icel garbage. As a pretty woman who has dated a few "ugly" guys, i can tell you much of what you say about women is an emotional reaction to pain and not actually true. At least not for me and quite a few other women I know.

Dating apps are trying to sell you something and keep you hooked. Maybe hinge these days, but I'm done. For all the men that gave up and go their own way, there are just as many women doing the same. There just are no easy answers, sorry. Anyone giving you an easy answer, with NO NUANCE is selling you some bullshit and making money off your pain.

You can find statistics to justify anything, so be careful with those. Did you know that only 4 out of every 1,000 people get married? Getting lower every year. With attitudes like yours, you have to ask, why would any sane healthy woman want to sign up for the job of proving you wrong or convincing you that you're mistaken. I wish that my ex could have accepted the love i had for him, but he can't, and so we go our separate ways in an increasingly isolated world. These are choices. You can make a different choice. Also, if you're going to kill yourself, maybe try ego death first. If you have money, get yourself into a reputable shamanic experience and rediscover yourself, in the real world, not online. There are so many physical pleasures and a world full of genuine, kind women who don't meet the aweful stereotypes you are promoting, but you need to break out of the glass trap you put yourself in. Also, try getting out of the country. Americans are notoriously neurotic as you are demonstrating and could use some socializing skills from our European neighbors. Lighten the fuck up and stop blaming others and taking yourself so seriously and things will get better.

CGB1337 · 2022-02-16T15:48:58+00:00

It is.. if you have confidence, some swag, maybe alil money your set

bigfish885 · 2022-02-16T15:50:51+00:00

meh i'm good looking tatted and muscular and i haven't had sex in over 3 years😂😂😭

Kevin26039898 · 2022-02-16T16:00:43+00:00

Here I see a lot of average guys and below-average have a girlfriend my tallest friends are still single till now

Shadow__Account · 2022-02-16T16:04:04+00:00

Ok, thanks for your contribution, I award you with the victim award of the week 🏆, congrats

Mmm91for · 2022-02-16T16:13:49+00:00

It’s all about your way with words. Women since times of cleopatra and before were/are able to seduce using theirs and touch. It wasn’t too long after that men realized how to seduce women. You have to have a way with words. It’s not just about the stuff you say it’s how you say it. Deduction for men can be very easy if done right but you need a mouth piece.

FlatDistance5 · 2022-02-16T16:33:06+00:00

Hmm are you deformed?

And have you actually maximized your looks as in gotten in shape, and fixed your style?

dxi_k_07 · 2022-02-16T16:45:49+00:00

tbh, i feel like the complexion and shape will be pretty good after working out and staying fit. also, confidence is important as well. also, i don't think it's good to stress and focus on getting a girlfriend too much. just focus on more imp stuff, studies, securing a good future and stuff. just be patient and it'll work out.

3miri · 2022-02-16T16:59:14+00:00

Height definitely plays a big role

Confident-Rutabaga84 · 2022-02-16T17:02:19+00:00

But Money solves everything

ElephantEarwax · 2022-02-16T17:44:32+00:00

Dude where are your stats coming from...?

Alonso81687 · 2022-02-16T17:50:34+00:00

Here we go again.... Hoe many times do we have to teach you this old.... Wait, young man!

2022-02-16T18:03:30+00:00

Bollocks

ezz_haggag · 2022-02-16T18:58:21+00:00

Dude if you really have money, just have a plastic surgery

ezz_haggag · 2022-02-16T18:58:28+00:00

Dude if you really have money, just have a plastic surgery

wingrovepike · 2022-02-16T19:14:03+00:00

They’re damn important. especially in the beginning. There’s someone for you though.

2022-02-16T19:22:00+00:00

I'm in the exact same position as you, but I’d consider myself a fairly decent looking guy. Trust me it’s not ALL about looks. Not saying it isn’t a factor, but it certainly isn’t the end all be all when it comes to girls being sexually attracted to you. Ask any good looking guy and he will tell you that he needs game to get consistently laid with the quality of girls he wants. Sure, occasionally we meet a girl who makes it easy for us just because of our looks, but that is certainly the exception and not the norm.

It is hard me to give you advice unless I see some pictures of you first. Please send me some pictures of you via message on here.

drgreen987 · 2022-02-16T19:38:15+00:00

Dont take this the wrong way (it’ll probably be tough) but you have a loser’s mindset and no fking girl wants a loser. be confident, work on your game and stop worrying about how many times the guy next to ya is banging

TheShortShady · 2022-02-16T19:41:41+00:00

Bruh I know dudes that by your measure have no business being with the hotties that they are with just off their suave. In a city that’s with seriously competitive standards too. I myself am at a slight disadvantage at 5’7” and was never good with girls even though I’m good looking until a few years ago.

Enhance yourself at the gym, get some new cool new clothes and accessories with good grooming habits that’s guaranteed to up your level in the looks department.

Other things are acting normal around girls (which is to no surprise the kind of weirdos they have to deal with) and working on humour.

It ain’t rocket science just don’t stop improving and you’ll get there.

jjboy91 · 2022-02-16T20:05:00+00:00

I don't think so. In the streets I see dudes poorly dressed like worse than wearing sweatpants and they ain't single.

Organic_Pack1211 · 2022-02-16T20:09:01+00:00

As a person who went from being ugly to more attractive I agree (kinda). Being good looking is a key step in getting your foot in the door with dating or whatever you’re looking for… afterwards it’s being able to keep her emotionally interested which is where “game” comes into play (something I still struggle with). When people say looks don’t matter they are lying however, looks aren’t the only factor after the initial interaction.

But don’t go hurt yourself. There will be someone out there who finds you attractive

franikolai · 2022-02-16T20:10:20+00:00

Yes and Not necessarily. Hear me out:

Remove the word “ugly” from your mind. I’ve seen “ugly” men with hot ass women. Here’s what I’ve observed:

Skinny is attractive. You don’t see many ugly fat asses with girls. You see ugly skinny guys with girls.
Money. No explanation needed.
Social status. The more exciting your life and your social life, the more attracted a girl is. They want to be PART of your life.
Personality. Yeah yeah, cliche but it’s similar to the social status: if you are fun to be around, people are going to want to be around you.

That’s it. Forget about having an unattractive nose, face, eyes, fuck that. That doesn’t matter. Want to become “attractive”? Focus on the point above.

Want to do something NOW? : Lose weight, get a nice haircut, get those teeth white, shower at least once a day, brush teeth 3 times a day AND floss, buy a good collection of high end cologne (Scentbird is awesome. Not sponsored), get clothes that looks good and NEW, embrace your personality and fucking love being you.

Do that, put yourself out there, and I promise you will start to get leads.

The money, social status, etc. You can work on slowly since this all takes time. But those points above, DO THEM NOW. Get off of redit and plan your week in order to accomplish what I mentioned.

Thank me later.

Edit: still don’t believe me? Pete Davidson, I love the guy, no offence, but he could easily be considered “ugly”. But he’s attractive. Why? He falls into everything I just mentioned. Confidence will come when you embrace your personality.

tylerden · 2022-02-16T20:39:03+00:00

Don't be so quick to jump to conclusions.

Don't ever me married to thoughts.

Especially negative ones. Negative thoughts don't help you in ANYWAY what so ever. So why bother? To be real?

All you got to know is you have a chance there is a chance and point yourself positively in the right direction. If it never happens then so be it. Work on being complete by yourself.

If you need a women flaky opinion of you to make you...then you doing it wrong.

You can be attractive in other ways to women. You generate that attraction and they will have no idea why you even want to blow an ugly guy.

2022-02-16T20:40:22+00:00

This is defintely not true and is purely anecdotal and probably selection Bias on OPS part

Ilovethaiicedtea · 2022-02-16T20:50:19+00:00

Everything in your post is so wrong it hurts mate.

HapMeme · 2022-02-16T20:54:32+00:00

Brah same like, I look like 6/10 at best but i whas on tinder and a total out of my league girl msg me, I got it for 5 minutes and had a date, personality can carry u

Czekraft · 2022-02-16T20:56:07+00:00

That's so ridiculous. Are you aware of how many people wish they just had an ugly face?

Some people are born blind, so they can't tell who or themselves are attractive. Some people get 1st degree burns on their body and face and have to get reconstructive surgery. Some people develop tumors on their body. Some people are missing limbs. Some women can't control how much hair grows on their face.

You think these people, who's lives are so changed they have to compensate for dating just as much living, aren't going through a tough time?

Consider yourself lucky.

2022-02-16T21:04:34+00:00

Look up Patrice O’Neal woman advice on YouTube

hahawhoa · 2022-02-16T21:16:44+00:00

Have you actually tried asking girls out?

b_a_d_r0b0t · 2022-02-16T21:23:58+00:00

Is the purpose of your life to have sex with women? These is a lot more to life than sex. Also you are only 22. Most men are invisible to women until they are 35 with lots of money, confidence, life experience. At 22 you say you have lots of money? How much? Are you earning high 6 figures? I doubt it. Do you own a house? Own sports cars? Probably not. All these things will attract women, not just your face.

TheQlymaX · 2022-02-16T21:26:16+00:00

Claiming knowing the truth without ever having tried anything.

robml · 2022-02-16T21:29:04+00:00

Bro idk who's telling you the majority of 20 year olds are having sex twice a week that's not entirely accurate. Sure you have a subset, maybe, but the vast majority of us, go on not banging, occasionally banging, to constantly banging. Point being there is no fixed number, and highly depends on context and if you have free time from studies/work. What's your financial situation also matters. It boils down to self confidence and being comfortable in one's skin that tends to set those who give off the impression that bang to those who don't. I'm saying this from personal experience largely and those of friends, esp bc we would get busy every now and then with work but ppl would think we are still seeing new ppl every couple of days.

omanisherin · 2022-02-16T21:37:32+00:00

Ugly broke dudes can close. You can get past this, just put some effort into your mindset and improve your game. All that bitterness you carry around is partner repellent.

rudebwoy100 · 2022-02-16T21:39:59+00:00

"I'm in college and have never, ever seen an average/ugly guy with a girlfriend," Bro, talk about cognitive bias. Most men and women are average looking and it's definitely not just great looking guys who have women in their lives.

You describe yourself and others as being extremely social but yet get friendzoned, umm it's your fault for being a betamale up until this point in your life, stop being a friend if you were interested in her and show your interest early on and if she turns you down then move on.

Your issue 100% is your personality, girls see you as weak and easy to walk over and is the main reason why you aren't attracting them and i don't even know you but can gather this from your post. Stop being an emotional tampon, learn to be fun and flirty and direct and shoot your shot as much as possible and girls will be falling in your lap quicker than you can reply back to my comment.

TheGuyWhoPutTheBomp · 2022-02-16T21:40:00+00:00

I'm a 9.5/10 (10 being a Greek god) looking guy and I get no bitches (literally no gf in my 18 years of life)

I have no game because of my childhood trauma with women

my friends (ugly bastards lmao) get women all the time because they are charismatic

So game is everything, looks is just a first impression thing

whiplash81 · 2022-02-16T21:40:41+00:00

I'm a 40-year old 300 lbs IT nerd.

I've fucked 3 women this year already.

Get outta here with that "looks matter" bullshit. It's your attitude that matters, and if it's anything like this post, it reeks of neediness and false beliefs.

jwaters0122 · 2022-02-16T21:43:18+00:00

Looks arent always everything. It just makes dating easier

2022-02-16T21:59:40+00:00

Im 23/f. Not very good looking myself, I found myself in the friendzone with the man of my dreams. So freaking handsome, had tons of friends, funny as hell, tall, curly hair, perfect beyond my wildest dreams. But besides all of that, he was a wonderful person too. He became my best friend because he was so nice to me and let me in with open arms. Someone I could tell all my secrets to, someone I could play video games with, someone I could call family without meaning it in a relationship way. He never had a girlfriend or even his first kiss when I met him. He talked about all the wonderful things he would do if he had a girlfriend, he expressed at a young age wanting to be a father, a husband, having a family. During this time, my love for him grew stronger, it was so intense that we had bad sexual tension whenever around eachother. We never told eachother that but it was a feeling we both agreed on later. Well, seven months go by as best friends, spending all our time together watching movies, going to the mall, eating out, etc. We really were the best of friends, in fact, i was talking to other guys because my best friend was just that… a best friend. But all my flings (just talking, nothing physical) all ended up dying out. I just couldn’t see myself with anyone else because I was so hopelessly in love with my best friend that I didnt talk to anybody else. We would spend days on days texting about how we both wish we found someone to love. Then, the day came. I went over to his house as usual, cooking for his family together, playing games. Then suddenly, everyone left. Just us alone together. This happened sometimes but when nothing would change in the families absence. But this time was different, we were watching movies on the couch when we both wanted to lay down. So we started cuddling so we both could lay down. I was small spoon when not shortly, I felt something big poking me in the back. I didnt say anything but he felt the vibe I gave off and got up and said “go to the bedroom”. That day all I did was give him head, for the first time for both of us. Later that night when i was home, he texted me saying he wanted to me to be his girlfriend. Now we are celebrating our 6 years this year. My point of this was, I too felt so lonely and horrible about my appearance and how others saw me. But I chose to accept what I cant change and focus on things I can control. For me, that was being a good friend and person to someone even if they didnt need me to be. Friendships do turn into Relationships. Life is too short to be feeling so much sorrow.

inverted_electron · 2022-02-16T22:01:16+00:00

Actually it’s all about looks for girls. All about self confidence for guys.

2022-02-16T22:08:14+00:00

With this attitude girls aren’t gonna be interested

GeezRick · 2022-02-16T22:21:47+00:00

OP, this sub is very old school PUA. To them, women apparently cannot feel or not feel physical attraction for a man nor can they make decisions based on that attraction. Only men can do that.

Same-Culture-9994 · 2022-02-16T22:24:37+00:00

Lol nice its tru

DarkSun18 · 2022-02-16T22:30:55+00:00

A good personality elevates a person and makes them more attractive.

KyleTheKing24 · 2022-02-16T22:31:14+00:00

first off life isn’t just ab females my guy. second off you can be ugly and get girls. ur beating urself up and obviously have no confident to get a girl that’s why u don’t have one.

PM_ME_YOUR_HARAMBES_ · 2022-02-16T22:37:23+00:00

Lots to respond here. OP, I hope you listen to what people tell you because if you do you CAN change your circumstances. You’re still young.

I lost my virginity late to a one night stand. Don’t recommend this in hindsight, it’s led to intimacy issues for me.

Statistically, I got laid more when I was fatter than I am when I’m lean. Lots of factors but it’s mostly mental. Attraction isn’t always instant; if you’re a genuinely fun and funny person, you can win your crush over. If your rejection rate is high, you aren’t as fun and funny as you though. Or, she’s very strict with her physical standards for a partner. You might not like it but you have to accept it and move on.

Thinking about suicide because you haven’t gotten pussy yet? That’s really pathetic ngl you have to stop putting yourself.

Would you want to have sex with a woman you consider highly unattractive? Why should the standards be different in the other direction? When I thought about this I realized the best way to build myself up was to

a. lose body fat (borderline obese to 12%)
b. I had adult braces until a year and a half ago. c. Established a skincare routine and began using tooth whitening strips
d. Developed more hobbies
e. Psychiatric care + medication

Maybe you’ll never be a 10 looks wise but there’s always room for improvement. Make yourself as approachable as possible. I always visualize myself as unattractive before I look in a mirror, and my self-confidence is lacking, but most people who look at me probably think I’m getting laid every week. I average maybe 3 times a year, and honestly that’s okay. My player era is over and I want something more valuable than a fling.

jessiepc145 · 2022-02-16T22:44:10+00:00

Workout, this probably not allowed but msg me if you want a direction to go in

inthebackground89 · 2022-02-16T22:49:38+00:00

Your still young it's about confidence and charisma

2022-02-16T22:51:04+00:00

That’s is somewhat true. I’m like medium ugly and been on the chubby side until I became a fat fuck in my mid 20s. I was getting laid a lot more often before I put on the weight, it sucks ass trying to lose the weight. There’s not much I can do about my face but that hasn’t stopped me from getting a girlfriend.

When I was 19 some old dude told me “ if you keep looking you’ll eventually walk away with something”. Keep your head up OP.

skinisblackmetallic · 2022-02-16T22:56:34+00:00

“You’ve got a low self opinion man.” Henry Rollins

2022-02-16T22:58:03+00:00

Integrity. Confidence. Strength in mind and body. That's what get you laid.

dametime223 · 2022-02-16T23:04:38+00:00

My bro stop those negative thoughts. I am in the same situation as you (and average looking) and I try to improve myself everyday. Don't use your situation as an excuse.

Hit the gym. Trust me, fitness and working out will change your life for better.. every aspect.
Ask your barber a haircut that suits you. Can't miss with a fade cut
If you have a beard, keep a stubble. Studies showed that women prefer stubble over clean-shaven and beard.
A nice cologne will always get your dick wet before the designer gucci shirt

2022-02-16T23:28:16+00:00

you're not an incel because of your face, you're an incel because of your mind

snowdude11 · 2022-02-16T23:35:34+00:00

Looks don't matter when you have an ugly personality.

IHateEditedBgMusic · 2022-02-16T23:43:35+00:00

Nope, Confidence

bytheninedivines · 2022-02-16T23:51:51+00:00

I'm a 22 year old man who has never had a girlfriend or sex. Zero intimacy.

Then why should I take your advice

H8beingmale · 2022-02-17T00:02:55+00:00

i wonder if there are more 20-something male virgins today than ever before

wtjones · 2022-02-17T00:10:32+00:00

The most unattractive dude I know KILLS it with the ladies. He has a good attitude, just listens and asks good questions. It’s that simple.

Charge36 · 2022-02-17T00:13:20+00:00

Gotta break that mindset. Doesn't help you progress and makes you feel like shit in the meantime. Focus on things you can change.

I lost my virginity at 21. Dated that girl for less than a year. I was 25 before I had sex again.

Fast forward to now and I've had sex with twice as many girls between age 30 and 34 than I did for the entirety of my 20s. Granted I haven't been in a relationship in 5 years and I wish that were different but you can absolutely get better at attracting women and sleeping with them if you stop focusing on things that you can't change.

Patronus100 · 2022-02-17T00:18:06+00:00

Serious talk, looks are only one piece of the puzzle and there is a lot you can do to improve your looks. Consider yourself lucky you're 5'11", you're able to buy yourself elevator shoes if you want to get over the 6' mark.

Also, DYEL?

Do progressive overload and build some fucking muscle if you care about your appearance so much. Get your testosterone levels checked if you have trouble developing muscle mass and consider TRT if you're low.

fre-shava-cado · 2022-02-17T00:26:08+00:00

So many men say stuff like this yet it turns out they’re doing the same thing, going for women so much hotter and ignoring all the other women who are like them. There are options, you’re just picky.

recyclablebanthas · 2022-02-17T02:30:49+00:00

1

I'm a 22 year old man who has never had a girlfriend or sex. Zero intimacy. Aside from being a statistical anomaly,

The human mind is a funny thing. There are well-known limitations and bugs in the way it works and processes information. Some of these limitations are called cognitive biases.

They are NECESSARY because there's a limited amount of brain power and processing available but a whole shit ton of data out there to be both observed and processed.

So cognitive biases are little shortcuts the brain takes so that the work can actually get done and we can attempt to live our lives.

But sometimes problems arise as the equivalent of too many rounding errors can lead to a human arriving at an incorrect conclusion because certain corners were cut while observing the world and while processing the data. A good example is the availability heuristic, which led to, among other things, a rise in belief that shark attacks were more common, because the movie Jaws was so prominent.

So if one is preoccupied with something and paying more attention to that thing, it can alter one's perception of it. Like your understandable focus on your lack of dating history.

In fact, as of 2015, among girls aged 15-19, only 42% had ever had sex, and among guys, it was only 44%. And the trend is that sexual activity has been going down since the 80s. Which means you're not a statistical anomaly.

2

....ugly face.....I have NEVER,ever seen an average/ugly guy with a girlfriend.

If you got a group of people into a room and asked them who their 10s are, you wouldn't reach a consensus on that. One person's 10 would be another person's 7 or 6. And one person would see another person's 10 as an outright dog.

So your notion of "ugly" has limited relevance to anyone outside you.

3

They all get friendzoned like me, they only have female "friends" despite the fact that they are extremely social and outgoing (like myself). "Just put yourself out there" .....

They might not have it all figured out either, but there are some inescapable truths here:

Seduction is a form of social interaction.
Social interactions REQUIRE social skills
So the same basic skill set you use to hold conversation with strangers or to maintain friendships, is the same skill set you use to get laid or start a relationship.

It's not magic.

4

You have resources available to you on a college campus and I highly recommend you take advantage of them. Therapy is honestly a god-send. I don't know where I'd personally be without the group therapy I participated in back in middle school/high school.

I know a few other dudes who have done some form of therapy, and there's something about being able to talk about things and sort through the mess with an impartial third party. (or a group in a group therapy setting).

rohanseeker · 2022-02-17T18:34:03+00:00

I gotta say vibe is very important.

I've improved a lot in looks the past 18 months.. Muscles, stubble, tan, plus slight fillers and botox (I'm 33 and a bit vain).

This week I've been looking the best I have in years.. yesterday I had a magnetic vibe..so many iois I felt in the zone.

Today I looked the same but was pretty much invisible. I wasn't in the same vibe

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	50
Comments	218
Date	February 16, 2022 1:52 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/stwesx/looks_are_everything_especially_if_you_are_a_guy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1266635 https://theredarchive.com/post/1266635

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