Wife Crash and burn stories

Sanguinius · 2025-08-19T05:28:24+00:00

Oh brothers, do I have a story. Strap in.

Long story short: Got divorced in 2022 after finding my wife was the 3rd girlfriend of 18 months in a twisted polycule with some married co-worker. I find out after kicking her to the kerb that she had also been sleeping with ANOTHER married co-worker.

She started withdrawing, would bitch about me to her friends for seemingly trivial reasons, took offence at me existing - including chastising me for seeing a financial advisor and expanding our investment strategy; you name it, I could do nothing right.

After finding out (literally finding this out a few hours before flying home 10 hours on a plane from a family holiday) the literal red mist descends, and I go into game mode. I draft all the financial / family / divorce orders myself. I am a relentless admin machine fixated on ending this farce and cracking on with my life. She spends a year refusing to sign the divorce papers and starts telling the kids, 'I didn't want to divorce your Dad.' I re-mortgage the house, and pay her out her share of our combined assets. I remain living in the house and take on the bigger mortgage, resolved to not have my kids further disrupted. She complains about the share until I remind her that I am happy to get printouts of her bank account showing the amount of money she's spent over two years on AirBNBs and trips away with her married co-worker while laving the kids with me, and happy to put amended custody / financial orders in front of a judge accordingly. She shuts up.

She moves into a dog-box of a house in a cookie cutter outer suburb, and proceeds to lament to friends about how 'she has no money' (despite being paid out over $400k liquid) to pay bills. Turns out that life costs money afterall, which is a shock for her noting I've paid all the bills our entire marriage. I get a promotion in my role that results in me travelling a bit more overseas for a week or so at a time for work about 5-6 times a year, and my family steps up to help me with my kids as I do so. I've been fit my entire life, but the gym becomes my new religion. I get almost disgustingly ripped. I absolutely rip it up on Tinder/Bumble/Hinge, and make sure I nonchalantly post pics of me on random dates overseas. My mates are loving it and are probably vicariously living through me at this point!

I buy the car she always bitched about me wanting to own. I take the kids on holidays. I dive back into all the hobbies she hated (skiing, motorsport etc). I start dating an absolute stunning woman 8 years my junior. My kids love her. My youngest daughter turns to my partner one night and apropos of nothing says to her 'Mum said you're very, very pretty.' I try not to chuckle. At a kids pick up one day I am lifting weights in the garage and she comments on how fit I am now. I ignore it. I inform her at the two year mark that I am selling the house and moving into a bigger one on account of the kids. She hits the roof. LOL, why?!

Noting I play sport with her old boss (and had worked for him in the past), I inform him of the workplace affair and tell him that I have evidence of her and AP1 having sex in the workplace on weekends. She gets moved onto another section, and her promotion to a senior rank gets denied accordingly. It is not a good look.

In the interim, her AP abruptly takes up an overseas posting and leaves her. She writes her car off. She ends up having health problems that requires two lots of separate surgeries to fix. My oldest tells me that 'Mum cries all the time'. Being a tight industry, people tell me that she has basically become a pariah on account of her behaviour, and noting that I know more people in our industry than she does.

And the absolute icing on the cake? Remember what I said at the start about her bitching about investments I made? Well a year and a half ago one of those did very, very well and now I have no mortgage, no debt, and am now devoted to making sure my kids want for nothing.

She's a serial cheater trying to date as a single mother in her 40s, and that's going as well as you can imagine.

LashkarNaraanji123 · 2025-08-14T10:23:44+00:00

The Eat. Pray. Love books mentality.

Check out the story of the author of the book, I'll leave it at that.

AdventurousTrash1645 · 2025-08-14T05:32:26+00:00

I've been divorced for a little over a year now after 20 year marriage. My daughter is 20 and my some is 17. One of the hardest parts for me is that my ex seems to be doing really well and happy while I struggle and am miserable. She gets $7k in alimony and $2k in child support and won't get a job. Unless she gets married or gets a job I could be paying alimony for decades and maybe life. I struggle to pay for a shitty apartment in a HCL area. Here parents bought her a 2 million home on a golf course by the beach. My kids hang out there most the time because it's much nicer than my place. My self confidence is crushed and can't manage to date because I feel like nobody will like me being 48m living in a shitty apartment and a space financially to my ex. Can't afford to travel. I'm so pissed off and sad. But she's happy. Why wouldn't she, gets a shitload if money from me, half my retirement and her parents buy her whatever she wants. She plays in tennis leagues all day and does whatever she wants. The divorce system is totally fucked.

ShaunyP_OKC · 2025-08-13T21:57:47+00:00

The thing about women that's hard to accept sometimes is that they really are emotionally fluid and honest liars. There really isn't honor or integrity in the way we think of it. Whatever they're convinced of in that moment of space and time they really do believe it, but if they change their opinion later then it doesn't matter because there views changed, blah blah. That's why they're so adaptable. It's the exact opposite logic of a man, which is why it's so confusing.

ShaunyP_OKC · 2025-08-13T21:53:27+00:00

She cheating. She's working out for him not you.

RealTrill1984 · 2025-08-13T21:48:43+00:00

What makes you think she wants another husband or lomg term partner? I think at that age women are done waiting on a man hand and foot like he's another child. They are happy single and mingling for good and just focusing on themselves and their kids

Icy_Employer1998 · 2025-08-13T20:12:12+00:00

A lot of these women just hook up with fuck boi wanting it to be long term and it never is.

dharmattan · 2025-08-13T16:55:56+00:00

Ten years ago my ex decided I was not good enough after twenty years of marriage, thank God we did not have kids. She thought that she would keep everything and I would be entitled to nothing. She did stupid things like have me served and then never advanced the divorce, I had to get court orders to move everything forward. She thought he lawyer was her friend and would spend ninety minutes to two hours a day on the phone with her. I heard her legal bill was over $150K.

For some reason she got it in her head she was drop dead gorgeous and men would be competing to date her. After the divorce she dated a few times, is single, spends most of her time at work, in a lot of debt, and has no friends.

I had a good settlement from the divorce and even got alimony. I have money in the bank (she spent everything we had every month), own my place outright, no debt, have a few motorcycles and take lots of road trips.

Mental_Antelope_7202 · 2025-08-13T01:35:12+00:00

I believe that’s generally the cycle

Different_Fee_5964 · 2025-08-13T00:44:18+00:00

I wouldn’t say crash and burn, but definitely a defining and humbling moment for her. After a few years of separation, financial constraint, and back-and-forth, my ex came onto me in my current relationship with my (now) wife, but (then) was my gf at that time. Her words were, “I’m tired of the back and forth schedules, the switching, the inconsistency, I just want a balanced schedule with the girls (our two kids). Will you promise me if things don’t work out with you and Shannon (my current wife), that you’ll consider this offer?” And she tried 2 other times to try and invite me out on a date.

I shook it off and said I was happy with my current situation. But she’s the one that cheated (slept with my friend at work), she’s the one that filed for divorce, etc.

balleditmoreravens · 2025-08-12T16:05:40+00:00

My ex got her first decent job and it went to her head and made problems we had, even worse. She threatened me with papers but I actually filed. I kept the house (really nice house, I’m so proud) , get my kids half of every week, and she’s living with her mom. She’s been there for more than a year and I’m not thrilled about it. However I sure as fuck don’t feel sorry for her. This is the same woman that told me “if you don’t like it, you can leave” right in front of my 2 sons. Good riddance.

Bulky-Percentage-243 · 2025-08-12T15:15:12+00:00

She thoroughly crashed and burned. It's so bad it's just guilt at some point.

It's her own doing. She didn't like the guardrails. She got rid of them. And she went over the cliff.

But the guilt is still there. Something something mother of my children something something.

jkw118 · 2025-08-12T03:46:52+00:00

So ex is still burning.. She kicked it off.. has her MBA was going to be some high end big business exec..hasn't been able to hold ajob for more then 4 months.. has gotten 3 duis.. engaged twice.. mental ward 6x?+? And im not kidding. Any 8hr job stresses her out so much she has to take 2 days off after working 1 day.. She's begged to come back so many times... it's such a train wreck

Impossible_Tour411 · 2025-08-12T02:24:50+00:00

This thread is a great read. Rock on gents! Show that indifference, rebuild your wealth, and go forth and conquer!

AffectionateFactor84 · 2025-08-11T22:56:58+00:00

shes hot a short period of time where she could land a dude. but after 55, too old. my ex left thought she'd land some dude. nope. shes 54 and single. I think her time is done

squatpops · 2025-08-11T21:26:04+00:00

The true end of the story is the moment you stop caring about about what became of her after the divorce

IcyMycologist4837 · 2025-08-11T20:54:48+00:00

Mine was 48 when we filed. Now 3 years later we are divorced. We do not communicate nor do I have any interest in her life. Only two kids which the youngest will be 18 next year. She is delusional about everything in our past but I don’t care. She probably doesn’t have a boyfriend and just hates men in general. Don’t care. I wasted 18 years with her and provided a good life. The day we filed , I moved on. I’ve dated several woman and it seems like 45 on woman can certainly hook up when they want but want to have a relationship after a few of those wild oats experiences but most men our age know better so they are stuck looking for that next sucker.

MonkeyBranchBuster · 2025-08-11T19:54:57+00:00

18 years together, 2 kids, 5 and 1, one autistic. Left me for a married man with his own 2 kids (his wife who is in denial is still friends with my wife and they all hang out - I am the jealous husband who's imagining things). The only thing preventing me to blow up their lives with proof are my kids as my wife would probably lose her well paying and stable job and that would impact the wellbeing of my kids. God will judge her, I guess.

Apparently I wasn't good enough and this sleazeball is. I guess being one of his many side chicks over the years is better than having a loyal and dedicated father and husband at home. I'll update how her dream life is gonna turn out in a few years. Complete insanity if you ask me.

SpaceRobotX29 · 2025-08-11T18:28:09+00:00

My ex left quite a while ago, but the main problem with her was that she didn’t want to work & help pay bills. Because that’s what her mom did. Anyway, she left and lived with her parents for a few years, trying the same doomed art career. Now I guess she quit her part time job, she’s someone else’s problem soon once she stops getting the child support checks. She didn’t crash and burn, she’s just delusional but she’s being the loser now.

drase · 2025-08-11T17:49:42+00:00

I’m 46, she’s 43. Married for 15 yrs. Separated now for 10 months and will divorce in 2 months. She immediately started cheating with one of the movers half her age. He moved in with her within a month. Both unemployed, drink/smoke weed/do coke all day. She is 1 more complaint away from being evicted. He has been charged with a total of 4 felonies on two separate occasions, she bailed him out both times. Assuming she did not commit perjury on her Financial Affidavit she has blown through 100k in 8 months and is almost broke.

This is so embarrassing and her true white trash side has come out. She is 360 degrees different than the person I married. No remorse, stalls on everything I ask, only thing she cooperates on is the court order. Thankfully, no kids with this hoe.

redragtop99 · 2025-08-11T17:41:07+00:00

My wife tried to take me for 6 figures at least, and I’m hoping she’s gonna be owing me money here very soon!

bvnelson · 2025-08-11T17:27:54+00:00

Mine made a pact with her AP that they would both ask for a divorce on the same day. She went ahead with it and he didn't. We're just coming up to the four year mark and he is still stringing her along as his side chick while she works 2 jobs to pay her mortgage. First year she was losing weight all excited. Now she is overweight, exhausted and miserable. I put her on a pedestal during the marriage at the expense of my social life and hobbies but since the divorce I've been able to build a new life for myself and have never been happier !

PowerfulAccident1234 · 2025-08-11T17:27:42+00:00

Read this and just came to say. “It’s ok if you’re still hurting man. Time to move on and be indifferent. Whatever happens in her life should mean nothing to you. I hope you don’t get hung up on what happens to her next. Let it go and forgive her and move on to the next chapter of your life.”

SKEPDIQ · 2025-08-11T17:05:47+00:00

If she decided to divorce you, I don't really think she loves you anymore. At least, not in a meaningful enough way that you really should consider keeping her. Just IMHO.

JohnIsHereAgain · 2025-08-11T17:01:44+00:00

Mine left me for my son’s baseball coach. Married 20 years. That one flamed out after two months. Then she married someone mid-famous. A Lead guitar guy. That one lasted only a few years. Now, she is living in a hovel and borrows money from our four adult kids.

They had to take her to counseling (intervention of sorts) to address this issue.

I had a negative net worth at the time due to me not controlling her habits. Now, I am well over 2 million with no debt. I remember taking her to Dave Ramsey, back in the day. All that accomplished was her notching up her spending.

My son told me recently that she said, Son please do not tell me again how great your father is doing. Laughing now! :)

Vahlir · 2025-08-11T16:56:52+00:00

too soon for me to comment on what the outcome is as we only separated a couple months ago when she became a walk-away, divorce is on going and she had an affair with a co-worker.

All the best advice I've gotten is to worry about making yourself better and distancing yourself as much as possible from her emotionally.

it's really hard at times, I know I'm in the middle of a divorce I didn't want.

Same thing, wife's losing weight, going to the gym, going out with friends, staying at her single friends apt, affair, #livingherbestlife while I'm home taking care of the kids 24/7.

I don't want to tie my happiness to her sadness...if that makes sense.

Because if she is happy in the end then I don't want to be miserable because of it.

As others have said the best path is to be indifferent but your mind can't NOT focus on something it will always fill the void.

The best path is to work on what YOU want for yourself and the type of people YOU want to allow into your life.

Don't follow her on social media, don't text if you don't have to, don't check in on what she's up to via friends.

I know it's really hard to get there in the beginning, I get it, I'm right there.

But the sooner you start looking at what life can look like for yourself on your own - with or witout someone - the happier you'll be.

The dopamine hit from hearing crash and burn stories is short lived and allows her to live in your head more than she deserves.

Good luck friend.

Junior-Warning2568 · 2025-08-11T16:22:40+00:00

My ex lived the dream for a couple of years. She took half the value of our 300k from our house, and then proceeded to move the kids 3 hours away to the beach. All was wonderful until she got breast cancer. As much as I wanted to laugh at her about it, I couldn't do it (although mentally I still think about it). The kinds of things she did to poison my sons against me makes me think it was some sort of divine karma. If your wife thinks she is going to love life, she may, but she probably won't and will be lonely for the rest of her life.

Mindless_Road_2045 · 2025-08-11T16:17:36+00:00

What did Adam Sandler say? Old wrinkly balls?

Historical_Eye3756 · 2025-08-11T16:06:11+00:00

lol. These stories sound like mine. I WILL NEVER GET MARRIED AGAIN! I love my freedom!

Pleasant-Mechanic-49 · 2025-08-11T15:09:40+00:00

Late 40s is prime perimenopause territory & coud explain HER wanting a delusional divorce (hormones go nuts, mood swings, identity crises, “I need to find myself Blabla” trips, the whole thing . Not saying it’s Only that, but it can push some to make irrational life changes.

Either way, you can’t stop the train moving.

If you want to check, ONLY she can do it (doctor visit with hormone panel) & pay attention to classic symptoms (hot flashes, sleep issues, sudden mood shifts). You can suggest it gently, but don’t frame it like “you’re just hormonal” or she’ll shut it down instantly.

2nd thing it could be Cheating. Hint: new lingerie ?, new tight clothes, the gym, long hours out, She may not be that delusional especially if Monkey thinks is holding a stronger branch that promised her marriage to get sex lol Good luck !

jimsmythee · 2025-08-11T15:03:52+00:00

Mine!! She was convinced she was going to get the best possible divorce outcome. Loads of alimony because she was “too sick to work.” Get full custody of the kids. Basically to leave me destitute and working 3 jobs to support her and never seeing my kids. Then she could have a beautiful life with her boyfriend.

Mediation went nowhere. So we went to trial. It went heavily in my favor. I got 50/59 custody and she got $0 alimony — judge told her “time to get a job.” I kept my house and my car. Only money she got was half of my 401k because it was a marital asset.

She and her boyfriend did get married, but he left her after six months. After that, she had to move in with her parents. It’s been 5+ years and she’s still there.

Reflog1791 · 2025-08-11T14:57:27+00:00

Mine became a “bodybuilder” looked pretty hot for a year. The wall started to hit, her face looks weird, and her crash diets, supplements, and steroids took a toll in both appearance and health problems. Now she is not attractive.

Her gas guzzling $70k truck isn’t that cool anymore and her medical bills are stacking up. They got the 1000 sq ft starter home and filled it with 5 big pets.

Meanwhile I moved to a fat golf course house and play golf 3-4x a week. Kids basketball team that I coach is undefeated. Gf is lovely and my kid loves her. Life is great. Just got back from an epic golf trip with buddies.

Impossible_Tour411 · 2025-08-11T14:17:16+00:00

Who cares man? The best crash and burn you can give her is your indifference. Get there and she will rue the day. And the best part is, you won’t give a shit.

Old_Customer_2675 · 2025-08-11T14:14:26+00:00

Mine thought she was going to get the house and alimony from me. Reality check we live in Florida and we have no kids her choice and we make about the same amount of money. So she did not get the house we have to sell it and I have to pay half of all her bills which is fine but I don't have any bills or credit cards or student loans or car payments. But now she has to pay well over $2,000 a month for a rental and she was complaining about not having enough money before she definitely does not have enough money now. So I'm taking a few months getting my finances together buying a piece of property and write that b**** off she is hating life right now because at the very end she realized how good she had it and how all her decisions and her mother and her sister telling her how horrible a person I am when reality they just wanted her divorced from me because I would not bow down to them. Oh and the top it off at the very last moment my shouldn't be ex-wife was supposed to move into my ex-mother-in-law's rental house she decided to mix that deal so that's why she has to get a rental house that accepts pets yes she took my dogs couldn't take anything else so she just took my dogs

OctinoxateAndZinc · 2025-08-11T14:01:30+00:00

I can tell we still love each other

Any 'love' you might see from her is just her keeping one foot on base. Get that out of your mind - at BEST she's keeping you around, worst she's manipulating you for something.

Listen man, anytime you spend thinking about her is you giving her power over you. She's not even having to do anything here.

Who is she seeing? What is she doing? How is she mentally, physically, emotionally? WHO GIVES A DAMN.

You're never going to hold her accountable, get closure, or see her admit to anything bad. She will only play her greatest hits for you. Put her out of your mind. Don't let her talk to you about ANYTHING other than your kid. Dont be her teddy bear or ATM. MOve your communication to email only. Wait a day to reply to anything. Business only. Once she realizes you dont give a damn about her she will lose any and all interest and go ruin some other dudes life.

AssistantActive9529 · 2025-08-11T13:46:55+00:00

My wife told me that making $160K a year was not enough. Divorced is finalized and her new husband makes 20£ an hour and is living in council housing with him. She’s so romanticized about London,England that she doesn’t know how life is hard there too compared to the US.

i give it 8 weeks after their marriage is finalized this month before she divorced him and comes crawling back. Having peace and quiet in the house is so valuable.

Bagman220 · 2025-08-11T13:43:17+00:00

I filed for divorce because my ex was an alcoholic, and hands off with all the kids and household responsibilities. She preferred to drink all night and sleep all day.

She eventually abandoned the kids, and moved far away. She tells me she’s got a new boyfriend, but still comes back and tries to sleep with me. She’ll text me that she wants to move back home and that she’s miserable. But it’s just not satisfying enough. I’m waiting for the full crash and burn.

Sam_N_Emmy · 2025-08-11T13:36:54+00:00

Ex cheated and left me and the kids for her HS boyfriend. She cut all ties with the kids once the divorce was final. She waited the required six months and a day to get married. She then announced they were having a baby.

They announced their divorce about four months after their marriage. Just a few weeks after the baby. He moved in with a new girlfriend and she was on her own.

It’s been a spiral since. Since our divorce she’s been divorced two more times and she continues to cheat on whoever she’s with. The most satisfying thing I can say is that she hates that I’m happily married and asked me to cheat with her. Turning her down and sending copies of her text to those that never believed she would cheat was petty but worth it.

cheddarburner · 2025-08-11T13:28:39+00:00

Mine thought she was going to be rich as shit and never have to worry about money again after she divorced me. However, turns out that her infidelity cancels out alimony, and at best she will get 1 year of child support (if we go 50/50).

She is now worried about even being able to afford a home, after thinking she would get enough to "buy a small beach house".

Not sure why people listen to bad advice from TikTok and "friends"... But here she is.. And surprise, the friends are still giving bad advice and she is still watching stupid videos.

Title	Wife Crash and burn stories
Author	jaglio69
Upvotes	63
Comments	96
Date	August 11, 2025 1:08 PM UTC (11 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1mnciwk/wife_crash_and_burn_stories/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/wife-crash-and-burn-stories.1559340 https://theredarchive.com/post/1559340

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