Becasue that's what women are into. When a woman sees a man, it's "you exist, and?" Women need to be impressed or something like that. They are more selective. They want men to "bring something to the table". That's what self-worth is about - how "well" you do as a person. Men are more eager, much more easily excitable, they see women as beautiful (not all women but you get my point). In this equation, men feel desire more than women and a big chunk of that desire is unwanted, by definition.

The invisible advantage of women being over-desired is that it greatly mitigates this kind of self-worth tying to sexuality. Women can get hangups, but the flavor of that is different cause their reality is different.

The biggest manifestation of men's self-worth being tied to sex-having is struggling men being told to self improve. And sure, what else could we tell them? And THAT'S my point. What else could we tell them. That's men's reality. Men can be in a position where you are "not good enough", however you wanna spin why, and many are. Women don't have a 1:1 equivalent to this, not to this degree, and their libido is different so they don't really get it.

It's better to tell men to make peace with their sexuality being tied to self-worth rather than telling them that's not true. OR normalize and promote sex-work as an outlet where men can actually have sex without it depending on their self-worth, cause real life won't ever be like that for men. I see nothing wrong with that approach either, it could help.