Care to share examples of HV behaviour from the men in your life?

riseaboveagain · 2021-08-27T20:48:24+00:00

I had to have major surgery. SO walked me in the door at home afterward and decided on the spot that our bed was too far from the bathroom, so he quickly made the guest bed for me. Then, he sat down and made a chart with times and checkboxes for all my meds and set a timer on his phone.

He emptied my drains with no complaint despite ordinarily being squeamish, put on my leg compressors, made me drink water.

He squished his tall body into the tiny bed next to me at night, so he could be there to help me get in and out of bed and go to the bathroom. I healed quickly, his dropping his own life and devoting it totally to me for two weeks really helped. He never whined or complained. Wish all women had a caring man like him.

LaTaina87 · 2021-08-27T16:54:40+00:00

My dad is the most HVM I’ve ever met & the reason I’m not settling for anyone! If men like him exist then I’m holding off. He has always been so supportive and loving of all my quirky decisions and ideas. He has taught me to be independent, assertive, confident and take no shit. He texts me daily just to ask how my day is going, he stops by and brings me bread or flowers lol or when he travels overseas always picks up something for me. He has stepped up to help me raise my daughter when her own dad stepped out on us. I have two brothers and even though I know I’m not the favorite child (I think he treasures my own daughter over any of his own kids lol) he makes me feel so special, cared for, protected, he speaks to me in a kind, understanding and gentle tone; even though I’m in my 30s I know he’s got my back always and forever!

** edit: To the losers whove been commenting/messaging saying how this makes me want a sexual relationship with my relatives- only a PERVERT would take my praise of my father and knowing how worthy i am because it was the way he raised me into me wanting something as disgusting as youve suggested. Go accidentally chop your weiner off or something. I hope youre not procreating. You prove our points at FDS lol

HeraStrikesBack · 2021-08-27T17:08:12+00:00

A few green flags/anecdotes from my HVM:

I was working a job that compensated well for the work but the team I was on was insanely toxic. I brought up enrolling for a tech bootcamp but wasn’t sure if I was “smart” enough for it. I was also worried because we were fairly new in our relationship and I now had to dedicate about 80 hours a week to work and school. He helped me push past my self doubt and encouraged me every step of the way. He completely changed his schedule so we could still spend time together. He went all out using his connections to help me network so I could leave my job as soon as I finished and, since he is already in the same industry, taught me how to navigate niche social dynamics that you typically don’t learn until you’re already in.
He knows I love his doodles so one year for our anniversary he drew an entire comic book starring me. Hands-down the best gift I ever received; I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard in my life and being portrayed as a heroine was a definite plus. What was especially HV about this is how he worked in so many small details about my interests and even just conversations that we had in passing; it showed me that he really pays attention to who I am as a person (whereas lvm are primarily interested in women as utilities or accessories and will passively nod along just enough to keep you functioning as those things).
He always shows excessive gratitude for my cooking, even when it doesn’t turn out. I’ve probably made him hundreds of servings of scrambled eggs by now; they take less than 5 minutes and I just cook them in the background while making my own breakfast. Even though it’s a routine, he doesn’t take it for granted - every morning, he compliments them and tells me that these eggs are the best he’s ever had in life.

flannel_cure · 2021-08-27T16:52:39+00:00

I consider my dad as HV. He is one of the most generous people that I know, and always willing to help others. He also does most of the cooking and cleaning around the house. He works hard to provide, working 2 jobs when financially necessary. He's always gone above and beyond in other ways to show love to my mom. For example, since they met, my mom has never filled her car up with gas. He always takes the time out of his day to go fill it up for her. And so many other consistent little things, like buying flowers for her regularly.

Also, he's a handy man and can fix pretty much anything. He's helped fix things for family, friends, neighbors, and even strangers. He's never hesitated to drive upwards of 2 hours to come help me when I've been in need. He's always been supportive of everything any of his children undertake.

He's not a man of many words, but I've never doubted his love and support for those around him by his actions.

Vmchik · 2021-08-27T15:19:47+00:00

My dad is 100% HV and he’s the most giving man I’ve ever met. If me, my sisters, or mom passively complain about a problem he’ll spend hours trying to fix it. He remembers and pays attention to all of us, gives great gifts, and always foots the bill. An example of how giving he is is once my sister forgot her uniform for a volleyball tournament that was hours away from home, and he didn’t even hesitate to drive back to get it by himself. He also supports our choices and career goals and if we mention wanting to do something he’ll help by paying for the program or helping us through the sign up process.

quasarbar · 2021-08-27T17:15:14+00:00

First date, before we'd ever met in person: he suggested meeting in a public place and expressed willingness to pick me up while also acknowledging that I'd likely feel better about just meeting him at the restaurant. When I got home there was a voice mail from him (this was early 2000s, before I had a cell phone) telling me he'd had a nice time, hoped I got home safely, and would like to see me again. Didn't play emotional games like waiting three days to call.

Subsequent dates: he'd taken note of what I'd put in my OLD profile and suggested specific activities that were in alignment with my tastes. I liked nature, so he took me to a park. I liked bowling, so he took me bowling. I liked astronomy; he took me stargazing.

He always paid for the dates unless it was something that I specifically suggested and bought tickets for on my own initiative.

He respected my sexual boundaries. Never even tried to push them. Didn't make sleazy comments.

He also didn't exhibit misogyny in any way. He admired my intelligence and accomplishments and was proud of me.

He treated me like I was a priority in his life.

witchy2628 · 2021-08-27T18:50:03+00:00

My boyfriend surprises me with hotel getaways like once a month. When he travels without me he brings back jewelry as a gift, and not just any but ones he knows I would LOVE (and I do). Pays for literally everything. He does "[My name] Appreciation Days" like once a week where he spoils me, massages me, pampers me. He never expects sex and has never even asked for it, he just follows my body language (and correctly). Cooks for me. When he spends the night and I leave first for work in the morning, he cleans up my room before returning to his house. He brings my mother flowers. He has never hidden me, all his friends know and I'm all over his socials. Dick game snapping, too. I've never ever asked him for any of this I honestly feel so blessed to have him in my life.

blue_avocado · 2021-08-27T20:04:28+00:00

My friends brother! He’s such a sweet guy. He brings her chocolate and warms up her heating pad when she’s on her period. He’s a complete HVM: in medical school, takes care of himself, works out, cooks, incredibly nice and funny. He’s going to make some girl very lucky :)

divination__ · 2021-08-27T16:32:54+00:00

My best friends fiancé is HV. I have a lot of examples of him being HV but one thing I thought of recently:

He has a very well-paying and intense job in finance, and she is a journalist. Obviously, there is a big pay disparity, but he never uses that against her. In fact, he is deeply supportive of her career - the other night she was working late and he offered to transcribe her interviews for her because she hates it and because she was overwhelmed. He didn't expect anything in return, just out of love because he saw her being flustered and wanted to do something to help. They've been together for almost six years now.

I'm so glad she's with him because it really pushes up the standard for all the men in our entire social circle. He's given her two engagement rings, one for every day and one as an heirloom piece, and it's like - why would I settle for anything less now that I know that's an option?? HIS friend did the same for his fiancée recently too!

SpiteTomatoes · 2021-08-27T17:34:33+00:00

Let me just say my dad was not always HV and he still has his moments. That being said, he definitely has done some very HV things. To start, he waited a very long time to have sex with my mom. She asked him after 3 months if it was because he wasnt attracted to her bc she wasn't used to this. He said to her that he just wanted to take his time and get to know her first. Throughout their relationship he has always treated her with respect with sex and never been demanding or demeaning in this manner.

When I was 14 they got divorced. My dad made a significantly larger amount of money than my mom, who I chose to live with. After looking for apartments, my mom quickly realized she couldn't afford any in a decent school district. My dad, who was already paying child support and alimony, gave her even more on top of that to guarantee we had decent, safe housing and I got a good education. Around that time, my dog (which my mom kept) got very sick. He paid thousands for a surgery because he didn't want my mom losing her dog while going through a divorce.

When I was placed in a mental hospital, he googled my disorder and came to me to talk about what he learned and how I felt. He apologized for not understanding what I had been going through and letting it get so bad.

My parents eventually got back together and my dad continues to be the breadwinner and he takes care of my mom financially despite her having her own income. He pays all the bills, all the dinners, and buys her things when they go out shopping. He loves to feed her shopping addiction bc they can afford it and it makes her happy.

All around, he is a very good man and I would be fortunate to have someone like him.

VanessaViews · 2021-08-27T17:57:47+00:00

I dog sit on the side. Sometimes I'll have a client ask if I'm available but I'm working my main job some of the days. I'll ask my fiance if he's free on the days I'm working to watch the pups so I can still take the booking (with the owners permission of course) and he'll watch the dogs for me on the days I'm working. He does a great job and will send both me and the owner pictures through out the day. He's definitely the bread winner but is very supportive of my side gig. He has many hv behaviors but this is my favorite.

gingerandlime · 2021-08-27T20:49:22+00:00

Just an anecdote from my week-- there's a man I'm friends/acquaintances with, he and his wife own a business I like to go to (good vendors, atmosphere, etc.), and the other day I was there for a weekly event. He was busy when I arrived so I just waved hello and moved on, later on he caught up with me to thank me profusely for "all my support" of their business (I don't spend much money there and the couple of times I've tagged them on social media, it wasn't even public, so I don't quite know what he's on about, but it was a nice sentiment).

While we were talking, some random man came over to try to use my friend as a way to make inroads with me, and the moment my friend realized I didn't know this other man, he whisked me away with an excuse of "something he wanted me to try for him" behind the bar. Got me fully away from this man-- I wasn't even uncomfortable, just amused-- gave me the full rundown about him, checked on whether I was okay, gave me a splash of nice prosecco as the "reason" to have gotten me away, and turned me loose. And thought nothing of it, just looking out for me.

I'm not interested in exploring whether he's a HVM, that's up to his wife who is also a delight, but it was certainly more than he had to do and was a whole collection of pleasant gestures. Respectful, reasonable, good-hearted men do exist out in the world.

Not_2day_Baby · 2021-08-27T15:46:50+00:00

My bf always said he wasn’t the romantic type. I am a very romantic person. Even though it is something that doesn’t come natural to him, he really tried to be romantic by giving cards with a sweet message. He lit some candles for a cozy and romantic evening. And for our anniversary he bought a book “Why I love you” where he has to answer questions about me and the relationship. I really think this is an important HV trait.

BasketLow8411 · 2021-08-27T19:58:12+00:00

My father. He heard me mention on the phone with my mom that I loved a specific thing he had (something practical for the house) and the same thing showed up in a package for me two days later. Edited to add: this is not the only thing but a very recent example.

abirdofthesky · 2021-08-27T23:09:17+00:00

I’ve wanted to share this! When I first started dating my fiancé I insisted on going 50-50. I was in grad school and didn’t have a lot of cash but o thought paying 50-50 was necessary to ensure he thought of me as an equal (pick meeee).

We moved in and I started paying me share of rent. After about 6 months after that, I realized I needed to quit my job for mental health reasons. I was so scared - I could pay rent for a bit from my savings, but how would he react?

Well…as it turns out, he has saved every single cent I ever gave him, even from the very beginning. He put it all in a separate savings account ear marked for our future - either emergencies or our future children. And he was more, more than happy for me to stop paying my share of rent and for him to cover it, because he’s been covering it and saving the extra that I gave him the entire time.

He respected me enough to agree to my 50-50 wishes, and also loved me enough to use that for our future only, not just for him.

asupernova91 · 2021-08-27T21:05:01+00:00

My boyfriend is HV. I love going to concerts and that’s not really his scene, however he will drive me and friends and pick us up whenever we go. If I’m waiting in line he swings by with food and water and has even waited in line with us (even though he wasn’t going in) just to spend time with me/get to know my friends. When he picks us up he takes us to get food, pays for everyone, and will take everyone home regardless of where they live.

When we are at a party before we leave, we check in with my friends to see if anyone needs a ride home. One time we offered a ride to a girl who looked pretty intoxicated because he told me her date was giving him weird vibes. She lived like 40 minutes away, he never once complained.

* I’d been busy with school and a new job and mentioned to him I didn’t have time to grocery shop and had been eating fast food so he shopped for me, stocked my fridge and cooked dinner for me that same day.

chinchaslyth · 2021-08-27T16:15:33+00:00

My father is HV.

If I mention I’m saving up for anything for my apartment for example, he’ll buy it for me.

He takes the family on lovely vacations. My mom says she’s looking for a Chanel bag, my dad takes her out to buy it.

He constantly thanks my mom for putting up w him. They are both still very much in love and have never cheated on each other.

He always encourages us and is super proud of us. He’s also very honest when he thinks I’m not being my best self.

He’s very patient and speaks to everyone with respect.

He works hard even now in his late 60s in an incredible profession to provide for us. He sets goals and smashed them. He dresses well, smells good, is intelligent, and drives a nice car. He provided my mom with a nice car too.

When he met my mom his goal was to buy a house in the most expensive city in my nation. He did just that. He told me he provided me with that base as a lifestyle and said that a man isn’t worthy of me unless he can do better than what my father provided for me.

My brother is HV too. He’s smart, hardworking, funny, respectful, and has a lot of both male and female friends. He’s there for me emotionally. He is still younger and finding himself, but his confidence is growing.

I am really lucky to have the family I have. Sadly I have not dated most men that are HV but am happy to say I won’t even entertain bullshit anymore bc I remember I have these examples in my life of real men.

crapcakes0987 · 2021-08-27T20:28:55+00:00

-A man helping his wife cook and clean in the kitchen (my cousin)

-taking her out to the mall and letting her buy whatever she likes on her birthday or for any reason (my cousin)

-regular date nights and trips together (my neighbor)

-listening and not talking over the person, deeply considering what she says (another cousin)

justsippingteahere · 2021-08-27T18:24:06+00:00

I’ve been married for over 15 years. I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer a year ago. Our marriage was good before that- ups and downs. When he found out- he cried so intensely and then he just became my rock. He took care of me throughout the chemo, the surgery, the radiation, now the oral chemo. For me the most intense thing was when he cleaned the drains from my surgery. It was twice a day for nearly three weeks. It was gross and he was always nervous about hurting me but he was all in. I will always remember those moments- his desire to take care of me, to make sure I’m ok. Despite the cancer bs (I’m cancer free now but in cancer recovery) I feel really blessed

I_am_so_lost_again · 2021-08-28T01:29:49+00:00

The night before my wedding, I was freaking out. Half of my husband's family bailed on the wedding (death of his cousin), and they were supposed to be helping with the set up and bringing things for us.

I was laying in bed just bawling on his chest when he asked me to move for a second. He walked over to the dresser and brought back a box and set it on my chest.

Him: I was going to save this for tomorrow for just before you left to get dresses, but you need it now.

Inside that box was a pearl necklace, the pearl necklace that 3 months prior I had eyed on a Facebook ad and just showed it to him briefly. He had remembered the exact one I showed him and brought it as a gift for me.

This week I've been sick. He's been taking up all of my house duties and my dogs. Tonight he went to grab dinner and when he came home, he brought me 2 boxes of tissues and my favors candy. He noticed I was using toilet paper and went out of his way to buy tissues for me before getting our dinner.

On our Honeymoon, we did a huge hiking trip in Iceland. On day 3, I blew my knee out. Without me knowing it, he took 90% of the weight out of my pack, and wrapped my knee for me. Had to hike almost 10 miles on that knee and he was always there to help me, making me rest, finding easier paths for me to take.

He is such a great guy. I'm lucky to call him my husband.

melsena790 · 2021-08-27T16:29:55+00:00

My husband looks so much after our daughter. He has always been very into taking care of her from changing nappies, to feeding, to painting, everything. I remember when our daughter was a baby I would change her diaper only if he was not home. I was on maternity leave for almost one year after birth, and he would always take care of the baby as soon as he would get back from work, never made me feel overworked or thar I had to do all on my own, he did the dishes, the laundry, he even hired someone to do thorough cleaning od the house twice a week so I wouldn't have to get tired. Still continies to be the best father to our daughter, looking after her everyday. I have been on vacations with friends for 2-3 days leaving him at home with our daughter and he has never complained, and I was never afraid for my daughter because I knew that he would make sure nothing bad happened to her. Practically he is very family oriented kind of guy, would never leave me for friends. He very rarely goes out with his friends alone, we do almost everything together. He makes sure that nothing is missing in our lives and I can count on him for anything.

fds_throwRA · 2021-08-27T17:11:40+00:00

I have a new HVM in my life who I’m getting to know as a friend. We’ve been talking consistently for a couple of months.

We’ve gone out to eat a few times, and he insists on paying, even when I invite him.

I live alone and I recently had a creepy incident with someone leaving some weird shit on my doorstep.

He came over that same night with equipment and power tools to make sure that my door jambs were solid. He brought me a weapon at the same time, and then he ordered me my own weapon that is 100% my own personal aesthetic.

We do not talk about sexy topics because we are not dating. We’ve established mutual physical attraction, but he’s very respectful and doesn’t bring up sex ever.

Honestly it’s refreshing af.

edelbiatch · 2021-08-27T16:18:53+00:00

My bf who I consider to be a HVM is very proactive and considerate. He thinks about how to make me happy. When I had a cold while we were travelling and all bars were closed, he went out of his way to go and find some hot water to make tea for me. For our dates, he plans interesting activities (like trying sports that both of us might enjoy, going to a concert etc.) according to my taste. He goes out of his way to make NICE photos of me when we are going out or travelling. He puts a lot of thought and effort into presents, using things I previously said to find a good present for me. Despite having less income than me, he makes sure to pay for restaurant visits and other activisies unless I insist on treating him. When he is visiting, he makes sure to keep my room tidy and help me with things around the house without being asked. He is amazing in bed and does everything to please me because he enjoys it and always respects my boundaries. He is my biggest fan and supporter when it comes to my business. He is a great listener and the first guy I dated who won't get offended by my feminist rants.

jingks_ · 2021-08-27T15:58:34+00:00

My husband is a HVM and I've written a couple posts about him and the types of things he does that are HV. You can read them here if you're interested:

https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/nvgvkh/characteristics_of_my_hv_husband/

https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/meiqn7/im\_surprised\_when\_my\_hv\_husband\_doesnt\_respond/

collinsvillain · 2021-08-27T15:17:07+00:00

I'm a really good cook, and I love doing it. I put a lot of care and effort into it, and enjoy making complex, fancy meals that take a lot of time. In every relationship I've had previously, at some point this has always transitioned into me doing all the cooking, because I'm just "better at it".

I had plans to make dinner for the guy I've been seeing for a little while, with his insistence that next time he'd cook. He asked me, "What would you like me to make?" And I was... completely stumped. It only at that moment occurred to me that no man has ever asked me that question, so I didn't have a go-to answer. Yes, men have cooked for me, but they always just throw together whatever's in their fridge. No one's ever asked me what I want.

I told him that, and immediately he said, "That's it. Change of plans. I'm cooking dinner tonight, whatever you want. You deserve a break."

And a follow up: a couple of weeks later, after we'd traded off cooking a few times and he had made the determination that my cooking was just so far above and beyond what he could do, he said something like, "Wow, this makes me feel like what I serve you isn't good enough." (Side note: it totally is good enough; I like making fancy recipes but I'm not really picky about what I eat, and simple is fine with me.) I was bracing myself for the inevitable: "you should just cook from now on." Instead, this man follows up with, "I guess I'll just have to take you out to a nice restaurant three days a week."

This relationship has been different from any other I've been in, because he genuinely seeks to make me happy and puts in the work. He has also started doing the dishes immediately after dinner, because he noticed that I would do them (out of habit) in any spare moment and he, again, thought I deserved a break.

Small things, yes, but in every prior relationship I ended up being treated like a combo maid/cook after a while (or immediately).

AnnVealsMayonegg · 2021-08-27T16:19:16+00:00

My grandpa fully supported the family from his income and my grandma was a mom at home. He hired a cleaning lady to come in once a week and a teen from the neighbourhood to be a mother’s helper. He knew being the at home parent of two boys was a ton of work and wanted to make sure she had sufficient breaks and rest. He insisted on leaving work early on Fridays so he could take her to lunch and her hair appointment. When he noticed her mental health faltering he rearranged schedules so she could go to her painting class and choir practice as singing and painting made her really happy. He loved her talents and encouraged her to shine. He took over the cooking and cleaning entirely when her arthritis flared up. The men reading this are thinking “what a simp”. He wasn’t. He valued his wife and she reciprocated with her love, caring and devotion. She only ever had eyes for him and I have no doubt she would walk across hot coals for him. They had a loving, fun, respect-filled marriage and were each other’s one and only.

lilac-hiraeth · 2021-08-27T17:24:42+00:00

An acquaintance who is interested in dating me handled rejection well after I stated I needed time to sort myself out while I go through a divorce process. He thanked me for being upfront and told me he would like to wait for me to be ready if he was a consideration for me.

He then went on to ask me what I would like for Christmas because he knows it’s my favourite holiday, just because he wanted to ensure I had something special from someone who cares about me. I like that it’s months away because it shows intent that he considers me someone he would like to impress but he’s not love bombing me just because he’s interested. He also stated he’s working on getting a better paying job so if I decide I’d like to date him in the future he can treat me how I deserve to be!

I am going very slow since I have a lot going on but it’s nice to hear all the same. I feel respected and heard.

Outrageous-Bat2472 · 2021-08-27T15:33:30+00:00

I came home with the sniffles, complaining of my ridiculously cold office temperature at work, he came home from Costco with an electric lap blanket to keep me warm at work. Never before had a man just done something so unexpectedly sweet and caring for me. I felt so listened to more than ever before.

koyarose · 2021-08-27T17:51:58+00:00

My bf is HV.

Im an aspiring artist and admitting that to people can be hard for me especially to potential partners because it’s not the most stable career and takes a lot of work. But when I first told my bf about what i wanted to do with my life he didn’t even question it. He thought it was cool and supported me in every way he could. It’s been 2 years and I have never accomplished more within my art journey since I’ve met him, and I like to think he’s kept me very motivated to keep going. He truly believes I can be very successful and it honestly makes me so happy that he was so willing support me, when a lot of people thought I was making a mistake.

He also is very very patient. Whenever I have an issue to bring up, usually nothing big because we communicate very well, he never gets hurt by it and turns it around on me. No gaslighting, arguing, yelling, name calling. He just listens. And then acts upon it.

He still buys me flowers, takes me on dates, speaks very highly of me to other people, and just loves me the way I need to be loved. I can just feel how grateful he is to have me and I for him. He doesn’t take me for granted and truly knows how to treat a woman.

Apart of me feels like I don’t deserve such a HV man for my very first relationship, because I feel like I really lucked out. Its been 2 years and I’m still as giddy to wake up next to him every morning as I was in the beginning !

top_of_the_stairs · 2021-08-27T15:31:50+00:00

A close male family member of mine has, over the years, confided in me his struggles with his addiction to pornography. We hadn't talked about it in several years, then this summer as I began reading FDS I brought up to him that I think I need to stop watching porn altogether (I watch it maybe 1-2x a month). He (without any additional information/prompting from me):

1) applauded me for this

2) talked about the various ways that porn is disrespectful & demeaning to women

3) talked about how many women are manipulated/drugged/full-on raped in porn

4) said he has now been completely porn-free for FIVE YEARS now

I couldn't believe that and asked him how on earth that could be possible. He said something along these lines:

"One day I really thought about all of my daughters, nieces, etc, who I have loved from when they were little babies, and I thought: what if this sweet, smart, courageous little girl found herself, through a series of tough circumstances in life, being manipulated into having sex with men while being filmed... and then I thought of men all over the world continuing to use this poor woman every time they watch that video... and then I finally connected that to the porn I was watching. I thought, that woman is someone's beloved daughter, who no matter what she says, would not be in this video if she were happy & healthy & loved herself. And that was five years ago, and I've never watched a single video or looked at any pornographic material since."

It makes me cry remembering it. He also said that this has not been easy; if he weren't so deep into his Christian faith, he would not have made it this long. I respect that very much, and I also hope that men without any particular faith can also work through porn addiction the way this (now HVM) family member of mine did.

BxGyrl416 · 2021-08-27T18:03:51+00:00

I think this is important. We talk a lot about LVM, bad behavior, and what is lacking. I’m a strong proponent of modeling behavior and leading by example.

fireforestfairy · 2021-08-27T15:07:42+00:00

I know HVM who love their wives to the point of transferring almost all of their income to their bank account.

adalovelace1793--- · 2021-08-28T03:22:38+00:00

Hiring a cleaning person so a relative of mine wouldnt have to be in charge of cleaning the house. Another HVM took care of cleaning and cooking as much as he could.

Thestral-glow6 · 2021-08-28T18:39:32+00:00

Thank you to those who’s shared their stories. I think the amount of upsetting Information/experiences that are posted online and in the media every single day sometimes becomes overwhelming, so it’s reassuring to know there are indeed HV men out there! 🥲🥰

bookworm1896 · 2021-08-28T19:44:23+00:00

My dad and my husband. First my father who at the moment takes care of my mum who has cancer. He does everything to support her, drives her to every doctors appointement even though he has to work too. Next to caring for my mum he still takes time to support my brother and me and one of my cousins. He looks after my niece to give my brother and SIL a break, helped renovating our new home, etc. If I have a problem I know that I can always ask him for help.

My husband too has always been there for me. When I had important exams he took a vacation to support me during this time. I also suffer from migraines a lot and when I gave an attack he always notices, leaves me alone if I need silence but still checks if I might need anything like water, meds or something to eat. He even memorized what kind of food I prefer during an attack.

poppinkitty · 2021-08-27T15:50:54+00:00

My sister's boyfriend is very high value. One time he was at a train station and there was a lady next to him who was sick and didn't have any money. He took that woman to the hospital and paid her medical bill. He just helped a strange woman in need. And I know many instances like that where he has helped his friends and always goes out of his way to help other people. And my sister vetted him for two years before committing to be in a relationship with him. And he treats her with love and respect and always buys her gifts. My sister is very high value as well and they only had sex after getting into the relationship. So people who say that a guy will leave you if you don't give him sex are stupid. HV people are high value no matter the gender. They both display good ethical behaviour. And we should never set the bar low for men.

morrigan1618 · 2021-08-28T04:58:38+00:00

My husband:

I had an emergency C-section with our last baby. By the time I was awake my husband had given him his first bottle. I stayed in the hospital for 2 days while he was with our two toddlers. I remember a nurse asking if HE was okay with the kids... I laughed. After we were home he made sure I had all the snacks and drinks I needed, and he did every overnight with the baby. We have 4 kids and I have always gotten 9 hours of sleep a night, even with a newborn in the house. You would never catch him on his ass playing video games. He would never be dicking around on Instagram and doesn't even have a smartphone because it's "unnecessary". He pays all the bills, I never have to work again if I don't want to. I literally get whatever I want. He is amazing and I hope our baby girl marries someone just like him..if she wants to marry, that is 😉

AssociateDear6001 · 2021-08-28T17:58:39+00:00

My husband washing my car and changing the windshield wipers and fluid for me 🥺 i mean, I could look it up but since he knows how to do it he just does it

peasbwitu · 2021-08-27T19:26:13+00:00

My puppy broke her paw and my husband carries her down into the yard to go to the bathroom and then brings her water in a bowl while she's laying down.

BarbwireBoots · 2021-08-27T19:51:57+00:00

Hi. New account, this is my first comment. Been reading FDS on my other Reddit account but took the advice here and made a new account just for this forum.

I’m in my 40s. Have had many years of NVM and ZVM before meeting my husband 15 years ago. Following are the attributes that caused me to believe he is HV and worth marrying (after a lifetime of believing I would never get married):

1) never made me wait for contact. He initiated all contact. Called/texted when he said he would. There was no mystery when he would contact me and I never wondered if he would.

2) he understood my current situation and accommodated it accordingly. He did not make demands on my time I could not give.

3) I never paid for a damn thing. He is a hard working man and never assumed I would pay for anything. Not once. Still don’t, unless pride calls for me to do so (makeup splurges, if even that)

4) I always know where I stand with him. I never wonder how he feels about me.

5) had full custody of his children, who adore him, and make my life, to this day, a total blessing. They are adults now.

6) good family. His mother (RIP) and he were very close. She embraced me immediately.

7) he would not dream of not working. It’s not in his biology.

8) he worries about me and asks me how I’m doing all the time.

9) physically affectionate

10) is fun to be around. I can be around him all the time and never get tired of it, but I maintain plenty of friendships with women.

11) encourages me to pursue what I want to do. Work, not work, go back to school, whatever. If I’m happy, he feels like he has done his job.

12) I never worry about cheating. Never. He’s home when he’s not at work. Or we are together doing something we both enjoy.

I have worked hard outside the home (I love work) and have been a housewife. I put in the work as a stepmom (willingly, gladly, by choice) and it is paying off for me now. I know that’s not what a lot of women here would recommend but it worked for us.

I hope this helped. I love this forum.

Title	Care to share examples of HV behaviour from the men in your life?
Author	Thestral-glow6
Upvotes	393
Comments	81
Date	August 27, 2021 2:53 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/pcox5s/care_to_share_examples_of_hv_behaviour_from_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/care-to-share-examples-of-hv-behaviour-from-the.1065415 https://theredarchive.com/post/1065415

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