Is it truly possible for a woman to desire you when you don't have the right body type?

AlarmingMan123 · 2022-03-14T18:08:41+00:00

Go to the gym and eat protein-rich food, lots of it. Supplement with a whey protein shake mixed with whole milk if you have to.

I’ve been in your shoes, until I started hitting the gym when I was about 20 I weighed a whopping 130 lbs. I could get dates and sex was fine and all but it was obvious the raw desire wasn’t there like you said. Believe me when I say the reactions you get from women once you’ve built some muscle are just different. It’s primal. They bite their lips when you take your shirt off, growl, ask you to hit them, all kinds of shit. The good news is if you’re thin you’re already doing better than most men, just pack on some muscle and you’ll see a big difference in the way everyone treats you, not just women.

Final word though, don’t get it twisted thinking just being hot will be enough to keep a woman around. It definitely will not and their desires can disappear in an instant if you fuck up enough in other areas. Sometimes they’ll still let you hit though even after the house of cards falls though, so YMMV.

Edit: If anyone wants some evidence or light reading I’ll just go ahead and leave this here https://royalsocietypublishing.org/doi/10.1098/rspb.2017.1819 Not a single one of the 160 women in the study rated weaker looking men as more attractive.

RepresentativeSwan1 · 2022-03-14T18:07:44+00:00

women can be attracted to you if you aren't hot or their type.

But, being attracted and lusting for you is quite different.

start lifting, get in shape. Best thing you can do if you want to see that desire.

2022-03-15T02:45:00+00:00

My dad is 5’7 and thin, and he just knew how to dress/style himself well, went for a bit of a rockstar/musician type of look and girls went crazy over him. But he is quite angular and sharp in his features I guess. You can still hit the gym and idk what you look like so I can’t give more advice. Are you just thin or are you literal hardgainer noodle?

AbbreviationsHot1200 · 2022-03-15T05:37:37+00:00

A guy can be fat if he's also tall. Women will see him as a protector.

Lezonidas · 2022-03-15T09:44:23+00:00

Yes, but the woman that desires you won't look good enough to make you desire her back

AggroWeasel · 2022-03-14T21:17:03+00:00

I’m going to provide a dissenting opinion.

Getting in sick shape was one thing that didn’t get me results with women.

There was a time in my life where I lifted 3-4 times a week for 4 years. I had a body like Ronaldo...and chicks were kind of meh about it.

I did just as well when I was totally sedentary and sitting on my ass.

Facial attractiveness is WAY more important than how your body looks. Basically you can’t be obese, and you can’t look grossly thin. But honestly, beyond that, I don’t think it’s going to do much to get you laid. Definitely keep lifting, though, because it’s good for you, but I wouldn’t expect putting on 20 pounds of muscle to suddenly level up your sexual options.

Iron-Giant1999 · 2022-03-14T22:47:13+00:00

If you have money, yes

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2022-03-14T18:22:56+00:00

I know men here want immediate sexual desire here like they feel for women. Honestly it's not going to happen.

Being skinny honestly your chances are low. Now I like a thicc bitch, not TRP 6 pack ab ideal, but skinny? No. I want some thicc meaty thighs and a fat ass to grab. Skinny just doesn't generally do it by itself.

Now if you're Trent Reznor in the closer video writhing around shirtless with a blindfold, different story. Style is the best way to offset skinny. You can basically look like a male Prada model and that's going to catch some eyes. But will it be immediate sexual desire? No.

Donn13diablo · 2022-03-14T18:34:29+00:00

Just start working out my man

learn2earn89 · 2022-03-14T21:34:22+00:00

Yes, if you have a cute/handsome face and you are confident.

Fit_East_3081 · 2022-03-14T23:15:55+00:00

I’m a 5’6 baby faced effeminate guy, women my own age never look at me

I didn’t experience girls looking at me with raw visceral attraction until I finally decided to start hanging out with women ten years younger than me

I don’t know how to explain it, but you’ll notice there really is something about the age difference that just makes younger women fall for you

DecompressionIllness · 2022-03-15T12:13:32+00:00

For me, there are a handful of things that attract me to a person. Does the right body type count? Absolutely. Judging from what you've said about yourself, I would not be attracted to you if I was judging on your body type alone.

However, there are other qualities people have and I find that the more I align with them from the start, and the more I get to know a person, I start finding them physically attractive even if their body type is "not my type".

For example, there's a guy in one of my sports clubs that, while not obese, does carry some excess weight that I'd normally turn a person down for. After getting to know him more and going on various adventures, I am so attracted to all of him, it's ridiculous. If he asked me out, I'd jump on him.

But yeah, if we'd just met and he asked me out, the answer would be no.

briiiana1122 · 2022-03-14T18:21:30+00:00

Is it possible for women to get into relationships when they don’t have the right body type? Based on the number of fat people of both genders I see in relationships, the answer to both of these questions seems to be yes.

iiexistenzeii · 2022-03-14T18:42:31+00:00

Is it truly possible for a woman to desire you when you don't have the right body type?

yes

Be good with words, learn to arouse her mind instead of her body.

But... Don't limit yourself and get a good athletic body, learn to use your fingers and your member. Making her crave more will make you an object of desire.

Valuable-Marzipan761 · 2022-03-14T19:00:03+00:00

are all men attracted to exactly the same body type? no, so I'd assume women have varied preferences too.

iamprosciutto · 2022-03-14T19:00:16+00:00

Get a job doing kitchen inventory or housekeeping. Both of those jobs built my arms like crazy. It's useful muscle too. When truck delivery days involve rotating 6 foot stacks of 90 pound boxes of meat by FIFO and organizing 300 piece orders, 100 pounds stops feeling like a lot of weight. My curvy partner certainly enjoys me being able to pick her up and carry her.

Housekeeping is a full-body workout between bed making and scrubbing bathrooms. It really toned and developed my arms, chest, and legs.

Both of these jobs teach practical skills too. Lint rollers are great for getting hair out of a bathtub. FIFO should be used in home kitchens too imo.

2022-03-14T18:08:08+00:00

It is truly possible for some woman, somewhere to desire you. And if you keep going, you'll find a woman who really does want you.

If you're a skinny guy of average height, most women will not desire you. But some will.

floralgirl2002 · 2022-03-14T18:01:21+00:00

and whats stopping you from going to the gym and working on your physique?

januaryphilosopher · 2022-03-14T18:04:39+00:00

Yes. There is no "right" body type and lots of women will find your body desirable. Your body sounds more desirable to me than the stereotypically correct one to be honest. I hate to break it to you though but emotional connection is often what forms attraction, especially for women. Raw sexual desire is very possible but not just for someone you don't know, you need to know them first to find any reason to care about how they look. That doesn't mean you're "safe", it means they're attracted to you. I don't know why you'd want to be desired for just your body, which is unlikely no matter what kind you have.

WestsideMoonWalker · 2022-03-14T20:40:16+00:00

Meh, if you don't like how you look do something about it, but I have a similar-ish body type and that literally has never been a concern that crossed my mind.

The big things for someone to get right with a lanky/skinny body type are to know how to dress for it and style for it really. The rest is just.... Being a fun engaging person that people like to be around.

Forgot one more thing. Not being inhibited and having a giant stick up your ass.

Orange_Paisley · 2022-03-14T18:14:12+00:00

I’ve never had raw sexual attraction without the emotional connection.

CocoBabeNYC · 2022-03-14T18:11:05+00:00

Tell me a body type and I will point you to a man who is extremely desirable by women.

Overweight and balding - Tony Soprano Super short - Peter Dinklage Skinny - every emo band ever Chubby ginger - Ed Sheehan Ugly black guy - every rapper ever

That is because women are aroused by a completely different set of qualities that are only loosely associated with body type. Those attributes are: self respect and ability to stand your own ground, ability to make decisions and lead (take responsibility) without fear and hesitation, liking yourself and putting yourself first, not being needy, liking women for who they are without judgement. What woman can resist a man with a masculine presence?

Just ask yourself how many men do you know genuinely like and respect themselves AND are capable of leading and making decisions AND like women genuinely. You will find that the percentage might hover around very low single digits.

SolidTunnelSnake · 2022-03-14T18:03:11+00:00

Nah. To be desired, you have to be desirable. Women desire the very best, and if you don’t fit the bill, tough luck, pal.

Capital_Scratch4562 · 2022-03-14T22:40:51+00:00

Yes. My boyfriend is 5”4 and very thin—not much muscle at all. I love him, and was attracted to him when we met. Attraction isn’t limited to two things, and not every girl is attracted to the same things. What attracted me to my boyfriend initially was his hair and smile. I thought he was super cute through it. Guys will convince one-another that if you’re not tall, girls will not want you, but that is far from the truth. I’m sure you’re attractive, and not being 6’0 does not at all mean a girl will not be attracted to u :) It’s such a small part of your appearance

floralgirl2002 · 2022-03-15T03:45:15+00:00

A lot of people on this sub, myself included, have neurotic tendencies and are very likely on the spectrum. And that creates a desire to boil attraction and dating down to facts & figures and hard lineal rules of what is attractive. But people do genuinely have different types. Yes a very short or very ugly man is unlikely to ever truly be someone’s type, I’m not sugarcoating that. But once you’ve made it to a certain acceptable range in height, looks, etc. (which you definitely are at at 5’8 and slim) there are women who will genuinely prefer your height and body type to any other.

For one thing the idea that all or even most women prefer muscular men is something you see incels talking about constantly, but is not really reflected in the celebrities women go craziest for. If anything I think thin is the most universally popular men’s body type for women. And secondly, 5’8” is a fine height. Most women just want someone a bit taller than them, and don’t really care unless you’re very short. I’m 5’6” and am most attracted to guys my height and taller with thin, slim builds, and I’ve spoken to many women who feel the same.

KamuiObito · 2022-03-15T17:54:30+00:00

5’8 and skinny is literal its own archtype women will fuck wit u…u arent as short as u think …atleast in their heads

cuckedalt · 2022-03-14T18:39:32+00:00

Men aren't entitled to women finding them attractive. Women already disproportionately or exclusively bear the burdens of pregnancy, child rearing the wage gap, sexual assault, violence, partner abuse, discrimination in the workplace, the motherhood penalty, and much more. Forgive them if they don't have the energy left over after dealing with all of that to coddle men's insecurities--and the saddest part is that women would do even that if they could.

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awakened900 · 2022-03-14T19:16:50+00:00

Yes if there is a adequate compensation in other areas that counter direct physicality. However, in a time where women don't need much from men, that method is decreasing in effectiveness.

ex_red_black_piller · 2022-03-14T20:40:02+00:00

Maybe it is possible, but it requires some next level game. Men who are center of the attention party animal types sometimes seem to have women obsessed with them.

Fame can make women really crave you, although sometimes I wonder if that is just advanced beta bucks game (Will Smith comes to mind).

Hoopy223 · 2022-03-14T21:00:17+00:00

Of course just depends on the girl. Getting in shape and buying nice clothes widens the net though.

just_nosey92 · 2022-03-14T21:30:25+00:00

Yep I did. I have been with every type of man from fat to thin alot older to a bit younger. I never dumped a man for appearance, only personality. I've went out with drop dead men who i later dumped because they were either clinically boring aka like talking to a wall or because they were assholes.

greedyleopard42 · 2022-03-14T21:38:25+00:00

i mean you can work out and stuff but it’s probably easier to just get good at sex. plenty of women have a hard time finishing. if you make someone finish and they have a hard time usually, they’re not gonna forget that.

Lateralanouncer · 2022-03-14T21:57:05+00:00

Definitely, gaining muscles, not eating too much food, and learning a little game is the easiest and fastest way to get the best results. Paleto principle is about getting the most returns on your efforts.

TheEternalGhost · 2022-03-14T22:01:49+00:00

So to men here who are not the most conventionally attractive, have women desired you just for your body alone?

Once I busted my ass for long enough in the gym and got muscly and shredded they did.

mextreme10 · 2022-03-14T22:18:47+00:00

I’m in a similar spot, 19 yrs old 5’8” 135lbs. I’m not quite stick and bones but my arms are small and legs thin. I’m a distance runner so it’s very difficult to put on weight although I’ve found you can get a little just by eating more. I’ve been looks maxing in other ways.

I’ve been lucky enough to experience female lust towards me just not consistently. Man is seeing a girl lust for you a drug like no other. That shit must release cocaine in your brain. I don’t experience this often and I feel like it takes going around a lot of women before I find the ones that do lust for me. I’m also mixed light skin, blue eyes, curly hair pretty boy type so I feel like I’m not a common type, but if they like me they really like me.

I have a great personality, life, finances, etc. I don’t fear that I will never find a good woman who is interested in me for a LTR, but I always wondered how much my weight and height hold me back.

EthicallyIlliterate · 2022-03-14T22:20:48+00:00

Sadly height is a big deal for a lot of chicks, but there are also many who dont give a shit.

Fusiontron · 2022-03-14T22:35:06+00:00

Go where you are wanted. I find that younger women, nerdy women, tomboys, East Asian women, etc. tend to be more into this body type. With that said I'm your height and still significantly heavier than you. You might want to aim to put on 20 pounds. I assume you already have abs at your weight, right?

toasterchild · 2022-03-14T22:36:35+00:00

Even with the most classically attractive guys i dated i didn't want them FOR their bodies. There was always something that made it cross the sex line, usually humor or wit. Hands down the most attractive thing is confidence maybe more affective Pele are just prone to confidence. I knew a short chubby guy with a great smile and a lot of confidence, women wanted him like crazy.

Practice finding yourself attractive.

WarezMyDinrBitc · 2022-03-14T23:41:57+00:00

AlarmingMan123 · 2022-03-15T03:01:35+00:00

OP I think you have it figured out. If you can,t be physically attractive to women best you can be is the safe option. But I think yoi'rr scared about the execution about going to the gym. Other redditors have already given you some dietary advice already but i just wanna say: keep going at it. I understand going to the gym or getting good diet can be something incredibly intimidating but you just gotta follow through. You have to imagine yourself that you will become through your effort. You gotta have a goal to strive towards. Fuck all the noise. You are the only person who matters to you in the end

neetykeeno · 2022-03-15T22:39:39+00:00

Women can be very quickly attracted to certain types of talent and charisma. Plenty of scrawny musicians and artists living in sharehouses get lots of enthusiastic casual sex very swiftly from girls they met a couple of hours ago.

But let's say women are only after looks... since that seems to be what a lot of you guys want to really really really want to believe and arguing you out of your delusions is probably more effort than it is worth for me. So? Live your life as best you can and stop whining. Flipping heck...I didn't get to be a supermodel...I didn't even get to be pretty enough to get receptionist jobs off my looks. I certainly didn't get to have relationships with guys whose looks were top tier. I certainly didn't get to slack off on being friendly in relationships and still have a good relationship. And I'm fairly ordinary and made ordinary efforts at things like weight control, makeup, exercise etc. Whining about things that your female equivalents also experience and mostly tend to deal with stoically on a daily basis every day of their entire lives is just so... unmanly. FFS.

Emergency-Regret6974 · 2022-03-16T04:24:24+00:00

You're 24 and you're already worried about dead bedrooms because you're short?

Just remember, you did this to yourself.

OwOFemboyUwU · 2022-03-16T14:58:34+00:00

I’ll save your time unlike the rest of these responses - no

GlumManufacturer1557 · 2022-03-14T20:46:16+00:00

The "right" body type doesn't exist. Women aren't all an uniform mass.

06534956 · 2022-03-14T19:15:43+00:00

Yes, it is possible. If that’s the only thing on your list, you can find a woman who wants you in a strictly sexual way.

That’s like, the bare minimum. You will be fighting with each other about everything, have no common goals, no common values, and she will not be there for you.

But you’ll have someone who thinks you’re good looking enough to use your penis to get off on. Don’t have an orgasm? Not her problem. Tired? Not her problem. Stressed out because your parents just died? Who cares.

If that sounds good to you, then find a fat, ugly, and old single mom. She’ll be lucky to have you!

2022-03-14T20:30:07+00:00

Ya I’m 6 ft 250 lbs and I’ve only ever experienced positives for my physique. Very much a first impression kind of thing.

Mundane-Currency5088 · 2022-03-14T20:40:36+00:00

5'8" is perfectly average and that's fine. I'm the same height as a woman no big deal. What is the "right" body type lol. Women on this sub keep telling the men that personality is way more important than looks and the men are the only ones arguing.

_-One4All-_ · 2022-03-14T23:17:28+00:00

You’re average height, average build, and below average confidence. No woman will ever desire you like that. You can’t increase your height, but I say hit the gym and bulk up, and stop being such a pussy. Good luck bro.

skrimpers · 2022-03-15T00:39:13+00:00

im 110 lbs as a 5'4 female, and i am quite toned and skinny. YOU ARE VERY UNDERWEIGHT, AND IT IS NOT JUST BECAUSE OF YOU FAST METABOLISM!! You must increase your caloric intake and exercise to gain weight and muscle.

The raw passion and desire thing comes from individual preferences. Think about men, some men lovee flat chested women and desire that the most, others like larger chested women. Some like skinny girls, some like thicker girls. Its the same for women, lust depends on the individual.

42nanaimobars · 2022-03-15T08:07:08+00:00

One of the most unconventionally attractive anime characters I’ve come across is L from Death Note. Aesthetic taste is complicated.

bublegumheart · 2022-03-15T08:40:57+00:00

My partner has the same build and height as you and I'm very attracted to him. Everyone has preferences, and while being 6' and muscular might get you more women overall, there are also women that would actually prefer your type. So yes, it's definitely possible, but it will be somewhat harder than for someone who fits every beauty standard.

Also a tip from a tall chick (5'10), the main reason most women I've met avoid dating guys that are short/shorter than them is because of how those guys will treat them - think projecting insecurity. Being told to change your shoes because it makes your date uncomfortable or being insulted for being to tall is never attractive, but the apposite is very attractive. I wear big platform heels a lot and many a friend asks me of it bothers my partner and everyone is always impressed with him when I tell them he likes me in them and thinks it's fun that I'm so tall in em. Big dick energy moment

Title	Is it truly possible for a woman to desire you when you don't have the right body type?
Author	awakened900
Upvotes	50
Comments	272
Date	March 14, 2022 5:56 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/te3h6k/is_it_truly_possible_for_a_woman_to_desire_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/is-it-truly-possible-for-a-woman-to-desire-you.1106289 https://theredarchive.com/post/1106289

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yes