CMV: The biggest misandrists I see online are men

back_in_blyat · 2022-03-22T21:22:58+00:00

because the unspoken followup to saying that is an implicit "...but I'm not like that". white knights gonna white knight, thirsty losers virtue signaling when women complain isn't misandry. if the same sample of unhinged women changed their posts to "kick puppies puppies aint shit" then those same guys would echo that anti-puppy sentiment

Bojof12 · 2022-03-22T19:59:30+00:00

I don’t think the number of men saying that are large
Those men are men who have heard women saying these things, have internalized it, and decided to believe it. The most misandrists online are not men and I don’t think that’s even a possibility.

social_mule · 2022-03-22T22:18:32+00:00

Now that I'm an adult, I have plenty of positive friendships with men. I've had men as mentors, bosses, coworkers, classmates, etc. etc. and most of them were very kind, empathetic people. My partner is one of the sweetest people I know. I talk with my friends about how heartbroken they are over girls, or how they're worried about their moms.

Real life is real.

But all the time on subreddits about dating and relationships, I see men going off about how "all men want is sex" or "men are just horny animals"

The internet isn't.

Today's lesson: judge people by what you observe in real life, not what a bunch of faceless strangers post anonymously online.

Class dismissed.

YoungArabBrother · 2022-03-22T20:18:44+00:00

women control the narrative on a lot of reddit and as a result men have tailored their responses to basically bow down to them and get karma. Look to askmen for the worst of it. In the last three weeks, I have seen askmen come to a near unanimous agreement on the following:

Women’s bodies look sexier post birth than before having children
Model tier women are absolutely terrible at sex cause they starfish
Fat women are the most physically attractive

Those were all the highest upvoted comments. Men did not upvote those comments. Women did. Fat, lonely, unattractive women over there want to pretend that they are catches, and men there are all to happy to provide that. Meanwhile, there will be a super downvoted comment at the bottom like “oh dude fucking a 10/10 was the greatest sex ever” and despite being downvoted there will be like twenty guys responding with agreement.

Dudes there complain about never getting laid and how badly they want to, and then there was a post asking if you would have casual sex with a 21 year old and all the dudes unanimously said no chance. Fucking lol. Okay whatever you say, although rest assured you will never have the chance to see if you’re telling the truth.

tired_hillbilly · 2022-03-22T20:15:35+00:00

dads who threaten their daughters' boyfriends because "I know what it was like to be that age"

This is more of an age thing. Men want sex, and immature men are really selfish and not above lying or manipulation to get it. Teenage pregnancy is a big deal, it makes sense to worry about it.

januaryphilosopher · 2022-03-22T21:06:54+00:00

I think a more blatant kind of misandry (at least in the manosphere) is the downright insulting and bullying of other men. Destroying their confidence by telling them that if they have any imperfections they will never be loved, hurting their chances of getting a happy relationship by claiming that they're not good enough to look for the women they want. Telling them that what they really want is soulless casual sex, and that's what women want them to do as well. Telling them that you're not hot on your youth and you should "build" rather than live your life. They're sabotaging these men and themselves.

GridReXX · 2022-03-22T20:28:27+00:00

I mostly agree that men tend to be main ones harping down on men being dangerous and/or perverted and/or selfish and/or “dogs”.

But what men tend to do to is compartmentalize.

“Those aren’t men, those are boys.”

Meanwhile he’s talking about a gang of 27 year old men who robbed and assaulted an elderly couple.

I think by calling them “boys” men have allowed themselves to be misandrists whilst protecting the prestige of what they individually perceive to be “manhood.” It allows them to on one hand generalize all men as an AMALT “threat” but separate himself from them at the same time.

In reality, those were adult men acting heinous or foolish. But ya know men love feels over reals 😌😉

Vtridolla · 2022-03-22T20:00:24+00:00

The difference is these grown men are using it as a defense for being pieces of shit and lousy partners. “It’s not bad nor my fault if I cheat it’s in my DNA!?!?”

Different_Face_3242 · 2022-03-22T23:19:26+00:00

i think some of the radfem types are also similarly misandrist(which are honestly overrepresented in twitter-like spaces), but i agree.

when a male gets raped (by a woman), other men are likely to either call him ungrateful or say ''wish that was me'' even if it was an underage boy.

men who happen to look or act ''not boy enough'' get more bullying while women don't mind ''girly men'' nearly as much... even if she sexually or romantically prefers manly/boyish males.

some MRA bring up the double standard of those two situations, and they aren't wrong,

but, they fail to adress how other men either bully them or don't take them seriously, only focusing on the ''feminism'' side which is seriously just overrepresented on interent than irl.

sarkington · 2022-03-22T21:08:32+00:00

The first and biggest misandrist I’ve encountered was my father, needless to say, way before the internet

Followed by other male relatives

Then male friends, male comedians, male writers, male media producers, and male religious leaders.

All before I turned 10

And I believe men

toasterchild · 2022-03-23T00:00:20+00:00

I think some men are like that and they simply assume all others are too. Says more about them then men in general.

I know women who say all women love diamonds and shopping... well not me but they and their sort of friends do.

Different_Face_3242 · 2022-03-23T01:14:19+00:00

This is facts. A lot of times, misogyny and misandry are just two sides of the same coin.

alexaxl · 2022-03-23T05:21:52+00:00

Moral posturing & virtue signaling is part of the competitive nature of all creatures.

Trust gives position in Tribes. All pack animals will do their thing to gain it.

That’s one way to garner points.

decoy88 · 2022-03-22T21:44:39+00:00

The type of negative generalizations that men make about themselves is not anywhere near as bad or as frequent as the "men ain't shit" posting that comes from women. With the exception of the slimy male feminist, the stuff we say about each other generally doesn't come from a place of malice and has a grain of truth to it. It will never hold a candle to the misandry that comes out of the mouths of some of the less pleasant women here. The stuff they come up with is just as strange as it is hateful. Sometimes it's like listening to lizardmen conspiracies. "all men want is sex" is not even 1/10th as bad as the kind of stuff some women post here and this sub is not even 1/100th as bad as FDS. It's just hyperbole, it's not a malicious statement.

John_Oakman · 2022-03-22T20:23:48+00:00

Bold of you to assume that real/manosphere men consider those traits to be negatives rather than positives...

Salkinov · 2022-03-22T20:28:00+00:00

I think many men feel like they are in constant concurrence with other men they don't know. I notice all the time that many guys want to appear as tough, angry and dangerous people. Even I can't deny that i like to look a bit more intimidating than the average male by working out a lot. Of course thats not my main motivation but it's a nice bonus.

I sometimes even wonder if blaming women for having high n counts is even a purely misogynistic thing or maybe a bit misandristic, too. Most men are disgusted by the fact, that a women had a lot of dick by other "dirty men".

For example i'd feel a lot less devastated if my gf would cheat on me with another women than with another man. It's really hard to explain but i guess its about disgust of having another mens semen or penis in my girlfriends vagina. Its just on of the most cuckhold and humilating things i can imagine.

Same goes for women with high n counts. I could imagine having a girl with a high body count through other women. But thinking about a woman getting gangbanged by a whole group of men fills me with a lot of disgust.

So am i misogynistic or misandristic or just retarded lol.

Deidara-katsu · 2022-03-22T20:39:38+00:00

I feel like you’re a girl

Different_Face_3242 · 2022-03-22T22:13:18+00:00

[permanently deleted]

kyjolski · 2022-03-22T20:26:27+00:00

I talk with my friends about how heartbroken they are over girls, or how they're worried about their moms.

Wholesome.

bfangPF1234 · 2022-03-22T23:28:44+00:00

Oh and the people dismissing male victims of sexual assault too.

BoopEverySnoot · 2022-03-23T05:37:50+00:00

I saw this video once where a guy went around taping men and women together, but not on dates. Studying together, working together, even working out together, grabbing a friendly lunch, etc. typical friend things. He asked how long they’d known each other and a bit of history About their friendship. Then he points the camera to the guy and asks “would you sleep with her?”

100% of the time it was yes.

Could it be staged, sure. Seemed pretty real to me, especially the horrified reactions from the girls, some who even cried.

enoesraht · 2022-03-23T08:39:43+00:00

saying "men want sex" is not misandrist if there is no judgement, I'm a man and I am not offended by it. Women are unable to understand that for a man, wanting sex is normal, contrarily to them he has a sexdrive.

ohheyhi99 · 2022-03-22T21:42:13+00:00

The “biggest” misandrists? The main people saying “men are trash” are men? I know that not all women are misandrists.

Anyway, what I’ve seen is that a lot of people will accept or reject gender stereotypes based on how they’re framed.

“Women are not as horny as men. Men are trash and they’ll fuck anything!”

“Women are just as horny as men. Men are just so bad at sex and predatory that it makes women not want to act on it. Women control themselves better, and patriarchal men are so misandrist that they think men can’t control themselves too!”

Mrs_Drgree · 2022-03-23T00:08:12+00:00

[permanently deleted]

ruboyuri · 2022-03-22T22:06:12+00:00

Men love telling women how awful they are. Its not a secret, it’s an excuse and a declaration that they don’t care

backcourtjester · 2022-03-22T20:05:17+00:00

If all men just want sex or all men are dogs, then it excuses them of being awful men. Nobody was more outspoken in the me too movement than Aziz Anzari and it turns out he is right up there with the worst of them. There are several much smaller names in the LA comedy community who were the same. YesAllMen is easy to say when you yourself are not those men. It also grew from rapists to outright misogynists to guys who looked at a woman the wrong way one time amd because of the other two they are thrown in with the others. Its not misandry, its misogyny looking for an excuse and dragging the rest of us down

tiposk · 2022-03-22T22:53:02+00:00

This isn't misandry as much as an excuse to not take responsibility for their own sexual behavior. If all men just want sex, this puts the responsibility on the woman for any sexual activity that might happen

icefire54 · 2022-03-22T23:37:56+00:00

Both men and women engage in misandry, whereas misogyny in both sexes barely exists.

https://stevemoxon.co.uk/misogyny-has-no-scientific-basis/

Since it's mostly men's job to "protect women" I wouldn't be surprised if men engaged in more open displays of it. But ultimately I can't say for sure who does it more.

The misandry in men has been noted for a long time:

There are a vast number of men who cultivate the pretence of having a contempt for, or a prejudice against, their own sex.

While Modern Feminism has succeeded in establishing a powerful sex-solidarity amongst a large section of women as against men, there is not only no sex-solidarity of men as against women, but, on the contrary, the prevalence of an altogether opposed sentiment. Men hate their brother-men in their capacity of male persons. In any conflict of interests between a man and a woman, male public opinion, often in defiance of the most obvious considerations of equity, sides with the woman, and glories in doing so.

E. Belfort Bax, The Fraud of Feminism (1913)

AquaChip · 2022-03-22T20:31:23+00:00

Just like there are a bunch of women who hate women. People internalize the bullshit they’re around.

Consumer31314 · 2022-03-22T20:23:23+00:00

Yeah online I agree. All the white knights and incels outnumber the FDS posters. Not so much in the real world. The amount of times I’ve heard women, grown ass women, say all men are pigs/garbage or whatever. And pretty much all the women will defend them too. It’s just as bad as when a guy says all women are whores or something else demeaning.

Da_Druuskee · 2022-03-22T21:41:53+00:00

There’s a difference between a boy and a man, and it’s not determined by age.

343_peaches_and_tea · 2022-03-23T08:44:27+00:00

I mean on this very sub I've had a woman describe men as walking sex toasters. When I called it out as being dehumanizing towards men not only did she double down another woman came in to defend her characterization.

I think honestly a big difference is when men say about other men and how horny they are at a young age. Very often there is some level of empathy there. They appreciate that hormones are complicated. Many teenage guys will genuinely want to fuck a lot. But that's not their fault.

When women often shout men down about it. They're usually judgemental or dehumanizing. They view men as incapable and as though they're less than themselves for going through things they never personally have to.

...

What I don't like about the whole "men are more misandrist than women" line is that often it's about absolving women of responsibility for their own shitty behaviour. It sucks that if ever you want women to sympathize with an issue you'll get a whole lot more traction if you blame men for it in the process.

E.g.

male homelessness is a big issue society doesn't care about men and we're treated as disposable (don't care - women)
male homelessness is caused by the patriarchy. It's inflicted by men on other men (OMGosh yes. How did men not realise they're doing this to themselves - women)

Not all of men's problems are created by men. Some are for sure. But many, many, many of them are created by women. Women need to stop absolving themselves of their own responsibility by shifting the blame onto men, yet again.

(Also final note. I've never seen men describe other men subhuman, call for selective abortion of male foetuses or otherwise dehumanize men in the way I've seen women do in the really hateful spaces)

Different_Face_3242 · 2022-03-23T13:52:42+00:00

I'm AFAB

I'm Tony nice to meat you.

Glittering_Ad_1415 · 2022-03-23T01:28:01+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Mrs_Drgree · 2022-03-22T20:36:40+00:00

[permanently deleted]

nick1812216 · 2022-03-22T20:24:18+00:00

Why did you have such a low opinion of boys/men as a teenager and what changed your mind?

Different_Face_3242 · 2022-03-22T20:29:57+00:00

[permanently deleted]

social_mule · 2022-03-22T22:10:53+00:00

What's AFAB? Alpha fucks, alpha bucks?

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jazzmaster1992 · 2022-03-22T20:22:37+00:00

The explanation I've seen is that they're not demonizing men or women for their nature. They say, "we're not saying women are all terrible, we're just pointing out their hypergamous nature". Same thing for men, "it's science, they'd fuck everything in sight if they could, but most men just don't have that many options". And I can sort of see the value in that; human beings are animals, and so you have to expect that on some level, there is a "lizard brain" behind human sexuality. It's sort of like knowing that, even though the caged lion might seem compliant, domesticated and innocent while you're feeding and petting it, it could still rip your head clean off your shoulders if it wanted to. At the end of the day, done correctly, tempering your expectations around romantic relationships with the reality of how people are realistically expected to behave is the best thing you can do. An example of this is acknowledging that your boyfriend is attracted to other women, but not necessarily going through the relationship expecting him to cheat, or perceiving every interaction he has with the opposite sex is a sign that he is going to cheat.

Of course, people who talk about this will let tinges of bias slip through. Guys will tell you not to care about women and focus on yourself, then do a three hour podcast explaining how modern western women are the devil out to drain your life's happiness and resources. Women can do similar.

You can say "look, I'm not saying all women are terrible, I just recognize that they are biologically pre-disposed to only want Chad" more or less 100 times, but most of the time, people are still going to think you're saying women are all shallow and terrible. You can likewise proclaim that "it's a man's true nature to spread his seed" until you're blue in the face, but still, many people are going to just translate it to "men are all cheating douchebags". Even if you really mean what you say and hold no true ill feelings for the opposite sex, the nature of sexuality and what it implies about who we choose to be with makes people uncomfortable. It reveals that, as much as your partner is incredible, if you weren't attracted to them, you wouldn't be with them, and that makes you sound shallow, and shallow is "bad" in society. Really, it's not good or bad, it just kind of is.

I definitely agree that there are "biological imperatives" that compete with societal expectations and standards. The primary cognitive dissonance is when you are told that personality should be what draws you to somebody, yet clearly, your sexual desire is governed by something far more subconscious and primal, and even if you want to love and be with the sweet yet somewhat boring nice guy, or the fat or plain looking girl who you get along with extremely well. Alas, human desire can't be negotiated.

ZealousidealAd7191 · 2022-03-22T22:35:32+00:00

I think “all men want is sex” and “men are just horny animals” is a mischaracterization of a lot of arguments I’ve seen in here. Sex is important to a lot of men, probably more so than to most women because most of male sexual behaviors developed around the principal of scarcity, but that doesn’t mean men ONLY car about sex.

Ive heard sex best described as a toilet in a house, or the wheels on a car. Not the MOST important, but definitely essential. If missing the situation is all of a sudden untenable. I think its a fairly obvious distinction, that people continuously get wrong.

Drougen · 2022-03-22T23:06:53+00:00

But all the time on subreddits about dating and relationships, I see men going off about how "all men want is sex" or "men are just horny animals"

How do you know they're men...?

It's one thing to see miffed teenagers talking about men this way, but it's absolutely bizarre to see adult men dehumanizing themselves this way.

I'd like to see one of the tons of examples you have.

LovesGettingRandomPm · 2022-03-22T23:47:32+00:00

When you haven't been in a male head it's hard to really get a clear picture, in our teenage years there are moments where we get that horny, there are moments where we go for girls to get laid, some men never experience it and there are different gradations to it but overall judging by the groups of boys we have been around it's objectively similar, even with group pressure if they said those things to their mom or sister they would be repulsed, a rough example would go along the lines of "yo I hid in the girls bathroom and saw that bitch's bare ass last night I would cream in there so hard she wouldn't be able to walk for days", some of these women they talk about are teachers or close friends to which they would just act all nice and innocent, which makes this even more scary.

You can't blame them for it, it's like a different version of themselves that many of us wouldn't actually want to be, but during those years of development and in environments where they are accepted they can be brutal, from there you develop into a man who can contain those urges and integrates them with responsibly.

I wouldn't want those horny little devils around my daughter either but that's life, there's a lot of bad things that could happen if you shield her, you gotta hope you've instilled enough sense into her that she makes good decisions.

You don't want to be the dad of a girl who was taken advantage of but you also don't want to be the dad of a girl who runs off with a guy because you didn't let her see him.

EthicallyIlliterate · 2022-03-23T00:49:19+00:00

I just hate douchebags thats all. Im a douchebagandrist

Dangtism · 2022-03-23T01:09:52+00:00

Internalized misandry perpetuated by mother's through the abuse and indoctrination of young boys through their formative years. The biggest misandrist are women.

RealNiceLady · 2022-03-23T01:24:46+00:00

But all the time on subreddits about dating and relationships, I see men going off about how "all men want is sex" or "men are just horny animals"

That's because sexually pure women get priced out of the sexual market

ArguesAgainstYou · 2022-03-23T06:31:39+00:00

But all the time on subreddits about dating and relationships, I see mengoing off about how "all men want is sex" or "men are just hornyanimals"

I'm definetly not some man-hating feminist, but I have to admit - this accurately reflects my lived reality.

Like that's not something you say to another guy. That's the version for (young) women, who need to realize that male sexuality is way more of a raw urge than female sexuality which I believe is more intricate. It's formulated crassly because (young) women need to realize that they will get into potentially dangerous situations or that guys might get pushy.

Doesn't mean that every man is just some sexual stimulus driven beast that will rape any female-ish creature that he gets his sights on. Sexuality lives in less developed areas of our brains, but we have much more developed regions that allow us to act against our sexual desires and in a socially acceptable behavior. But we have to choose to do that, at the core we're dirty, horny animals.

AidsVictim · 2022-03-23T17:51:07+00:00

There's degrees of it.

There's the bizarre self hatred some men have of themselves and other men, legitimately angry that men would ever dare complain about being stereotyped or struggling. But these are mostly a small minority and usually of a certain political-cultural block.

The category I think most men fall into is acknowledging the negatives commonly associated with average male behaviour - lust, violence, anti social etc. It's simple reality that these things tend to be more common among men and pretending otherwise doesn't help anyone. It doesn't mean most men are dangerous but they obviously have a higher tendency towards these things.

Then of course there are men who pretend everything is a slur against them personally.

The sort of acknowledgement of the faults of men as a sex makes some women uncomfortable I think because it also implies that women can be stereotyped based on their gender which is anathema to most modern women.

Det_Steve_Sloan · 2022-03-23T18:31:14+00:00

What else do you expect on Reddit? About 60% of its userbase has been shadowbanned and the remainder is a bunch of soylent grin numales.

Transmigratory · 2022-03-25T02:00:39+00:00

A lot of the males, especially teens, do it with the hopes they'll get the girls to touch their wee-wees, particularly the pick-me boy types. Certain types of protective dads are just doing anything they can to do keep their daughters safe and dismissal/ridiculed of male sexual assault survivors are not ridualled as much nowadays. For the latter 2, I suggest redditors keep up with the times and stop basing things off fiction they watch like drama shows and sitcoms, plz.

Title	CMV: The biggest misandrists I see online are men
Author	Different_Face_3242
Upvotes	121
Comments	415
Date	March 22, 2022 7:56 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/tkbk3v/cmv_the_biggest_misandrists_i_see_online_are_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cmv-the-biggest-misandrists-i-see-online-are-men.1108044 https://theredarchive.com/post/1108044

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