Q4All - What percentage of men do you believe care about n count on some level?

SmakeTalk · 2022-07-03T12:43:47+00:00

On “some” level, all. Like I can’t think of many men who will not care at all about a woman with 150 partners.

Virgin wife I would put at 5% because outside of super religious people and hardcore trad guys most don’t expect that.

The rest I think is a sliding scale and hard to define. Maybe 90% of men care if she has over 50 partners. Maybe 40% care if it’s over 20 partners. I also maintain that if a woman is beautiful enough men will toss that n count preference out the window, and this also is probably on a sliding scale (very attractive woman probably gets more leeway on n count).

Probably 50% of men actively care, but this varies from “no more than 3” to “just not a lot more than me.” I think the other 50% don’t.

Texan2116 · 2022-07-03T15:30:54+00:00

Im in my 50s....and yeah a Prostitute would probably be out. A former topless dancer would probably be fine. As long as this was not common or public knowledge. At my age partner count is not a big deal.

Gigamon2014 · 2022-07-03T11:09:19+00:00

Lol wow, that OP seems extraordinarily accurate. I would increase the amount who don't care to 5% though. There is a legit chunk of dudes who get turned on at the idea of their girl fucking other men.

Siukslinis_acc · 2022-07-03T12:33:40+00:00

Outside of here i never heard anyone mention n-counts.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2022-07-03T16:57:01+00:00

All I know is that it’s a lot, lot lower on PPD than in real life.

Lotus_82 · 2022-07-03T16:34:51+00:00

I’ve never heard about dudes caring about n count so much outside of this sub where most of the guys seem to be very insecure about their lack of success in dating and lack of sexual experience.

I happen to have a lot of sexual experience and I know I’m a good lay, so I want to be with women who are also sexually experienced and good lays as long they don’t have STDs.

Furthermore, a woman with a higher n count will have more basis for comparison, so being a good lay I know that when she compares me to the other dudes she’s been with I’m going to be among her “best” because I’m good at sex therefore I like women with experience, because they usually comment about how I clearly know what I’m doing compared to a lot of the guys they’ve been with.

Most of my friends and fraternity brothers are the same as me, they prefer an experienced woman, and the rest simply don’t care.

Basically the only men who care are the ones who are insecure about their own lack of experience and who don’t want their performance compared to that of other men because they know their performance is likely to be viewed as inferior, and this sub is definitely full of insecure incel type guys.

2022-07-03T12:11:50+00:00

What percentage of men do you believe care about n count on some level?

All, on some level.

EulenWatcher · 2022-07-03T11:00:52+00:00

I'd guess most men are comfortable with dating women with similar n-counts to theirs. So most have at least some preferences, although not something like "only a kissless virgin would do". A good share is okay with "don't ask, don't tell" policy.

So maybe ~5% have really strict n-count preferences, the majority is okay with similar n-counts and some just prefer not to know nor share their own n-counts. The last two groups probably intersect with each other.

Dating a prostitute shouldn't be included here as it's a different topic, it isn't just n-count, but also selling your body.

2022-07-03T12:12:51+00:00

I think MOST people care about finding someone that shares their sexual values, but not so much about N count. I think the only people that really actually care about N count are hypocrites that slept around and then try to find partners with low counts.

jackedsoon · 2022-07-03T15:41:57+00:00

yeah. dont care how much it is as long as its not from any gangbangs/MMF

so probs between 5-10%

midwesternMD · 2022-07-03T18:31:15+00:00

There’s a big gap here.

I wouldn’t date a prostitute for a lot of reasons, but it’s not her n count. Same for a porn star.

There’s enough of a stigma in our relatively puritanical society that my association with those people is a non-starter for a serious relationship. But it’s not because of n count.

People here like to talk about n count and pair bonding. I think it might be a factor, but I don’t think it defines someone’s ability to pair bond.

For me, I want someone who has had enough sex to know what she likes/doesn’t like. I have had enough sex to know for me. If you can figure that out with one partner, great. If it takes a couple dozen partners, sure. If you’re pushing 50, unless there was an “acting out/hookup phase” that accounts for 30+, someone really should have been able to sort out what they like/don’t like. And if they want to rack up numbers because they don’t want commitment, that’s fine. But if I, as a man looking for a committed relationship, know that someone doesn’t want commitment, I’m going to pass. Again, not because of her n count, but because what she wants is incompatible with what I want.

Film2021 · 2022-07-03T14:35:17+00:00

I have one simple question for anyone who thinks only iNsEcUrE guys care about a woman’s n count…

Can you tell me one SPECIFIC country or race or culture on this entire planet that promotes very promiscuous women for marriage?

wtknight · 2022-07-03T14:50:28+00:00

Doesn't really care but still would never date a prostitute (or obscenely high n woman) - 10%

This is higher in my opinion.

Cares enough to be vocal - 35%

This is lower in my opinion.

I think that, in general, the majority of men don't want to be with a woman who has a higher n count than them. But if it's just slightly lower, then most don't really care.

shzam5890 · 2022-07-03T18:08:12+00:00

I feel like no one on here discussing body counts has ever actually dated. No one asks during early dating about body counts because it's just considered rude. By the time you're at the place where it's even something you could acceptably ask about, you have developed a bond and like each other for other reasons-- like the way they laugh at your jokes, how much fun you have together, etc. so it continues to be a non-issue that likely isn't discussed because it just doesn't matter. You observe their character and values from the way you treat each other and your interactions, and sexual history just isn't important at that point.

If for some reason a man who was falling for a woman found out she had it extraordinarily high body count it could matter and he could get the ick, but he a) likely wouldn't ask bc he would be falling for her and he's trying to woo her, not make her think he's some dick and b) the woman just wouldn't think to bring it up. Once they are pair bonded and in love if he finds out he will look past it.

oniialiani · 2022-07-03T14:10:17+00:00

i’m almost 19 and have dated a lot of guys (although i’ve only been with one guy who is my bf) and none of them asked about my n-count. only a few i told who were rushing me to have sex with them

a lot of couples don’t talk about their n counts though since it’s probably better not to know. (unless one had a reason to think it must be crazy high) i felt like i had to tell my bf only bc he would be my first time but otherwise, i wouldn’t want to have that convo. i know he has a way higher number than me and i never wanna know the exact number lol

2022-07-03T15:33:24+00:00

Mostly concerned with STDs and fidelity.

MassageGymnist · 2022-07-03T17:03:05+00:00

No because what is a n count. And if its a body count why isn’t it b count

Katatonicsnake · 2022-07-03T17:19:35+00:00

Depends on one’s culture. It’s not a big thing where I live. Obviously if you were sleeping with several people less than a year ago, someone might be worried if you’re still into that life. And I know people who think it matters (both men and women), but overall it’s not a huge thing in Nordic countries. Definitely not 98%.

Simpin--Aint--Easy · 2022-07-03T17:22:11+00:00

I care about n count. I care if you lie about it or are secretive. The number doesn't bother me.

iwasneverherehaha · 2022-07-03T17:56:49+00:00

Depends if it's a fling or if your looking for something serious. Standards are obviously higher for a relationship.

Personally I wont date a girl whos slept around.. at the age of 30 I'd personally want them to be 10 and below.

If I started seeing someone and early on found out she slept with like 50 guys it's an instant turn off.

I actually like a girl once untill she told me how many people she had slept with .. was around the 40 mark and she was 27 years old .. it instantly made me feel sick.

SmakeTalk · 2022-07-03T19:12:02+00:00

Doesn't this argue that 88% care to some degree? Or is that last 10% "doesn't really care" mean they actually do care?

Generally I think these sorts of thought experiments are largely pointless since we're all gonna see or assume the world reflects our own echo chamber or bubble. Trying to determine some vague percentages about the larger public is a little juvenile.

For instance, I don't think a lot of men really care about how many people their partner has been with, because it doesn't bother me. I also think this is largely determined by age, experience, and maturity.

If you're younger and everyone around you cares about this stuff then it's very natural to believe that those opinions aren't likely to change later. As I've gotten older (32m now) I've learned to honestly care less about these things, even though it mattered to me in my early 20's.

It's also a very different discussion when you bring up someone doing sex work - I don't care how many people my partner has slept with but do I want to be with someone who does it for payment? Not really, no.

What this discussion should be about is wondering how people don't care about it got to that point and analyze how those changes in perspective affected their dating life.

SoIlikeMangos · 2022-07-03T19:18:02+00:00

People can want whatever they want. But it makes me mad when a dude that has slept around a lot demands a vIRgiN & calls non-virgins sluts.

Bikerbats · 2022-07-03T20:52:39+00:00

Far too encompassing. Using this logic, even I'd care, and I really don't.

Longjumping_Mud7294 · 2022-07-03T21:00:30+00:00

I absolutely would not give a shit, and I’m baffled by men who do.

2022-07-03T21:29:15+00:00

100% of men .

ChibsFilipTelfordd · 2022-07-03T22:08:31+00:00

Only wants a virgin gf/wife - 2%

Cares enough to be vocal - 10%

Cares, but not vocal - 16%

Doesn't really care but still would never date a prostitute (or obscenely high n woman) - 70%

Legitimately does not care at all and would date a prostitute - 2%

PPD men aren't representative of men overall lol

HazyMemory7 · 2022-07-03T23:06:30+00:00

95% care even if they may not admit it.

John7oliver · 2022-07-04T00:31:09+00:00

I feel like if you’re confident in yourself that n counts don’t matter. Honestly sometimes higher n counts can be better because then it’s like cool this girl really enjoys sex with me and she has a lot to compare it to so I’m great 😂 it all depends how you look at it. If the girl is loyal and loving and a good person to have in your life who cares if she racked up a lot of n counts on the way to being the woman she is.

WilliamWyattD · 2022-07-04T08:59:16+00:00

Men and women always care about a woman's N Count to some extent. Hell, they care about a man's past a point, just not as much.

Devil is all in the details here, and the details are context dependent. Like one N count might be fine for a UMC woman in a UMC party college. Same N count makes you the town slut in a Mormon community.

activatebarrier · 2022-07-04T21:14:45+00:00

if body count is under 5 then that's fine with me

NecktieNietzsche · 2022-07-06T00:31:46+00:00

Why is everyone so tilted over N-Count? The less pussy a guy has gotten, the more he will care about your high number. Guys that are naturally less trusting or outgoing, care more than guys that don't. The real question is why do women go after guys that care? Why do promiscuous women like guys that are not promiscuous? Maybe they have internalized slut shaming and believe a "pure" guy will absolve them of their "sin"? Maybe they want to manipulate guys that can't get any pussy because they have leverage over him? I don't get it.

2022-07-03T15:35:18+00:00

Being a non-full service sex worker has been a way bigger deal than having slept with a bunch of people in my personal life, which has basically been a non-issue. I live in a very sexually liberal place and date leftists who have also had a bunch of sex, though. In that demographic the number of men who give a shit at all is SMALL.

John_Oakman · 2022-07-03T11:59:27+00:00

All the relevant ones, because regardless of what their detractors say, they are the reasons that many women fear disclosing their past.

Zcuzz · 2022-07-03T15:47:20+00:00

I care enough to be vocal now because after dating a few hoe bags over the years you realize they are incapable of monogamy. They are casual fuck buddies at best, which is something I'm no longer interested in.

RearwindowPinecone · 2022-07-03T10:49:22+00:00

i will say about 1% but you miss the point,most men know they are settled for and they even dont wanna think about this,they worry more about being cheated on or the paternity test or "divorce raped"

SmarmyPapsmears · 2022-07-03T13:13:08+00:00

What percentage of men that care about n counts aren't hypocrites that try to fuck everything and don't hold double standards?

Willow-girl · 2022-07-03T13:40:51+00:00

Men of my generation? Pfft. As long as you don't come off as skanky in public, you're fine.

ruboyuri · 2022-07-03T14:59:25+00:00

Conservative and/or religious men

-Ivar-TheBoneless · 2022-07-03T16:36:29+00:00

All men care if the plan to get serious with the girl

GolcondaOni · 2022-07-03T17:05:19+00:00

If I don’t inquire it’s probably because I have no interest in making you my girlfriend.

Also, if a girl owns her past and tells me as it is I think I would be more lenient. She is basically communicating she has value otherwise and is ok with me dropping her or not. She is who she is/was and she wants an honest bond.

Liars, are a no no. It shows you are not a strong willed person. You wanted commitment to your Prince Charming in the future yet actively did things in your youth which may limit some potential suitors.

Either 1. You are entitled and feel any man should just accept you regardless of anything. 2. You think short term and prefer instant gratification without care for your ultimate goal.

Both reasonings for lying is unattractive to me. I can’t stand people who are influenced by their peers and have no sense of self to just be what they want. If I wanted to be an engineer 10 years into the future. I have to start getting good grades in highschool. I can’t enjoy certain things my classmates at that time may have the luxuries to.

If you’re not proud of who you were to the point where you want to completely hide that from a partner (someone in theory you should be the most vulnerable with), to me you’re just weak.

And I think for a 25 year old woman 20+ is where it’s murky.

ValentPerspective · 2022-07-03T11:36:58+00:00

All men do, some can try to ignore it. It's not so much the female sexuality that irks me, but that i know im going to be compared to the x amount of dicks she sucked. Evolutionary explanation is that the more partners she has been with, the less likely the child is your own. Of course it's going to hurt the ego, and it's for a damn good reason too. You will always have the burning image of the woman you love being used with her face covered some other asshole's spunk. Don't know if ill ever settle down for this reason alone, because the hard truth is that ill likely not have access to a virgin to wife up. Ive made peace with the possibility of dying alone and being a genetic dead end, its on me to have my own mission.

Ok-Map-7596 · 2022-07-03T12:30:51+00:00

who cares?

SmarmyPapsmears · 2022-07-03T14:17:34+00:00

90%. Everyone who doesn't fall into the cuckold fetish category, which is fine.

AelfredRex · 2022-07-03T15:02:42+00:00

I'd date a porn star, but then I'm not hung up on ego issues like being terrified that I'll never measure up to the men she's been with before. Why should they matter?

Got this thing called confidence. Try it sometime.

boots_with_the_furr · 2022-07-03T20:05:26+00:00

There’s a negative correlation between how confident a man is and how much he cares about this. Confident men don’t give a shit about the past… Also - being promiscuous is not the same as being a prostitute and the assertion that there isn’t a layer of difference between commodification vs just not placing any emotional value on sex indicates a complete lack of critical thinking…

NateHate1402 · 2022-07-03T16:07:07+00:00

I’d agree with those numbers.

Magic_bun · 2022-07-03T20:02:01+00:00

Most men I’ve come across could care less if you’re hot enough.

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EugeneCezanne · 2022-11-02T20:55:20+00:00

Cares, but not vocal

You could reframe this as "doesn't care enough to be vocal."

In my scenario, I believe around 98% of men care about n count on some level

You. Old reframe this as "the majority of men don't care very much."

EugeneCezanne · 2022-11-02T20:56:33+00:00

Cares, but not vocal

You could reframe this as "doesn't care enough to be vocal."

In my scenario, I believe around 98% of men care about n count on some level

You could reframe this as "the majority of men don't care very much."

Title	Q4All - What percentage of men do you believe care about n count on some level?
Author	SmarmyPapsmears
Upvotes	43
Comments	269
Date	July 3, 2022 10:46 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/vqewb2/q4all_what_percentage_of_men_do_you_believe_care/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4all-what-percentage-of-men-do-you-believe-care.1121602 https://theredarchive.com/post/1121602

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