Apparently Now Men Are Single Because Of A " Skills Deficit ". What Skills Are We Talking About Here?

LondonDude123 · 2022-08-13T22:40:17+00:00

Reading the paragraphs that describe it, and the only thing they advocate for Men to actually do is "get therapy". So... Have all Men gotta show up at therapists, not knowing why they're even there in the first place?

No. In reality this whole "Skills Deficit" may as well be "We have to blame Men, but we cant actually find anything to pin on them that doesnt stem from something bad Women did or might have done, so this is what we've come up with"...

sgt_oddball_17 · 2022-08-13T23:38:57+00:00

The ability to be 6' tall, and earn 7-figures

TrilIias · 2022-08-13T22:45:48+00:00

The only clues given in the article are that he's talking about "communication skills" and that families aren't teaching these skills to boys, apparently. This isn't an article aimed at helping single men improve at dating. If it was, it would be more specific. "Communication skills" is too broad and vague. The actual intention of this article seems to be just to blame men for everything that goes wrong, which is entirely unoriginal.

I honestly don't know why this article keeps popping up everywhere. It doesn't even have any useful citations, it just asserts that men lack skills, and I guess people just like asserting that men are in some way deficient.

Also, I'd note the irony in this article not elaborating on it's most important points and using broad and vague language that makes the entire thing rather useless and unintelligible. Basically, the author seems to have personal experience with insufficient communication skills, but that's no reason for him to project his failures onto the entire single male population.

TracyMorganFreeman · 2022-08-14T00:26:28+00:00

Step 1: open up emotionally

Step 2: get shit on from women

Step 3: get blamed by women for not being emotionally available

Why do I think for some women at least, "emotionally available" is code for "emotionally accommodating to me"

Nayko214 · 2022-08-14T01:52:10+00:00

All men everywhere should take a month off from all female interaction unless absolutely required. No bars or other hook up spots. No approaching. No dates. No nothing. Work and go home and relax with a hobby. Starve women of the attention they’ve gotten for free and force them to reckon with how badly they treat men. Make them have to cold approach and learn some ‘social skills’ they’ve previously never had to learn or use. Let’s see how good they are at it.

TheSnesLord · 2022-08-13T22:56:24+00:00

What " skills " are we talking about here?

Be handsome, over six foot tall, have a six pack, have massive arms, have a you-know-what that's over six inches, have a six-figure salary, etc.

Scandi_Navy · 2022-08-13T23:41:51+00:00

Of course the article has no comment section.

Men should step up.

No. Men should raise their standards for a partner, take their money and go date a feminine foreign woman.

Or treat women in general the way women treat men, and just become the worst version of ourselves to lower the bar collectively. We should all get fat, celebrate No Bath November, we should all grow the worst possible neckbeard, wear a fedora, mark our territory by pissing on everything, name it. Fat neckbeard acceptance, put it on the cover of Men's Physique. Rappers celebrating broke lifestyle.

I don't work I don't bathe. But let me tell you, I got this ring. 🎶 - W.A.P.: Women Are Paying.

See how fucked up that mentality is if you turn it around?

dr_cocktagonapuss · 2022-08-14T02:53:57+00:00

psychology today is the national enquirer of psychology

Pay it no mind.

Electrical_Access604 · 2022-08-14T03:19:44+00:00

This is specially ironic, because women will refuse to comunicate and expect men to read their minds. If the man is not a mind reader, she'll say he "doesn't have communication skills", when the truth is precisely the opposite. Women are the ones with horrible communication skills, and the person who writes the article just accepts what they say at face value, with zero critical thinking.

Women don't want a good communicator, they want a good manipulator. They want someone who tells them the kinds of lies they want to hear, who resonates with the same lies they like to tell to themselves.

Women who say "men need to go to therapy" are usually the ones who need therapy the most.

Skitilludie · 2022-08-14T00:53:46+00:00

Skills?? The ability to tolerate infinite bullshit!🤣

khaste · 2022-08-14T05:47:08+00:00

skill shortage = not earning 100k

TextDependent6779 · 2022-08-13T22:59:06+00:00

not having the skill of self-enslavement.

NotaCrazyPerson17 · 2022-08-14T00:39:52+00:00

Remember if men aren’t attracted to any certain type of woman it’s the man’s fault. If women aren’t attracted to more than 20% of men it’s the fault of the 80% of men.

auMatech · 2022-08-14T05:53:12+00:00

"skill deficit" is really just a way of describing a rise of entitlement in requirements that a male partner 'must have' in order to be considered a match.

nyyazn · 2022-08-14T03:38:08+00:00

Yeah, saw this article because a couple of my male friends sent it to me. I've not had much of a relationship with women other than having them as classmates in school, being at work with them, or in some situation where I've had to be around them. I just treat them like I do my male classmates, workers, etc.

Never been on a date with women nor been in a serious relationship with them. I am a short straight male who is a refugee from a south east Asian country. Came to NYC when I was 3 and been here ever since. I am older (40s) now so I am more comfortable in who I am. Currently, I am a CAO, Professor, and own an online education business. I exercise to stay healthy. Pretty well off financially considering I came here as a refugee. I am average looking. Being short, SEA, and older now, I have experienced plenty of racism, heightism, and now ageism. Lol!!

Not really interested in being with women who don't like me anyways. Rather just be alone mostly, hang out with my family, hang out with my friends, and do so many other things that make me happy. Haha

If the right woman comes along then great. If not, oh well, I like my life as is.

DavidByron2 · 2022-08-13T23:24:19+00:00

I think it's saying all men are rapists and they need to be taught not to rape.

SergeantPsycho · 2022-08-14T00:32:14+00:00

I've come to the conclusion that women are pricing themselves out of the market. It seems like they're making themselves difficult to get, and even when you get there, there's a lot more hassle with little pay off.

2022-08-14T05:16:28+00:00

Apparently Now Men Are Single

Thank god. I can finally be happily single

63daddy · 2022-08-13T23:12:55+00:00

What he claims directly opposes many other sources. I’ve read repeatedly more men are choosing to stay single, and it’s women who feel they can’t find a good enough guy.

Men may far outnumber women on dating apps, but it’s a very different story when it comes to dating websites.

https://www.datingadvice.com/online-dating/dating-site-male-to-female-ratios/amp

The fact he purposely cherry picks apps only while excluding dating sites makes me think he’s picking information to suit his agenda rather than forming an opinion based on the data.

P.S. total number of men vs women on dating apps also isn’t necessarily telling given the prevalence of fake accounts, unused accounts, accounts not actually there to date, etc.

TheSilverShade · 2022-08-13T22:37:51+00:00

Don't worry they're putting out all the excuses out now to avoid the real reasons.

They know people soon won't believe all the single men are incels ( people with a brain of course) so they're looking for something else which is more believable.

Erratic-fan · 2022-08-14T00:08:00+00:00

It's not a skill deficit, it's simply men are not willing to put up with the female mind set, double standards and deliberate actions to control men.

mikesteane · 2022-08-14T00:18:28+00:00

It seems fairly clear to me. He says:

For men, this means a relationship skills gap that, if not addressed, will likely lead to fewer dating opportunities, less patience for poor communication skills, and longer periods of being single. The problem for men is that emotional connection is the lifeblood of healthy, long-term love. Emotional connection requires all the skills that families are still not consistently teaching their young boys.

Of course, he is just another academic simp trying to get approval and should be treated with the contempt that he deserves.

KazukiYahashi · 2022-08-14T04:15:59+00:00

The skills they lack are simply the skills needed to suck up to women lol

Sudden_Paramedic6749 · 2022-08-14T04:43:19+00:00

I'm just bad at reaching above 6 feet tall, I'll try harder next time :)

prayforblood · 2022-08-14T02:52:54+00:00

No, women are over valuing their own skills.

DirtyPartyMan · 2022-08-13T23:43:03+00:00

Men aren’t able to become billionaires as often not as numerous as women deserve.

shrugs

GeneralStoic · 2022-08-14T01:08:54+00:00

The only skill I'm in a deficit, is "giving a fuck". I'm single, not lonely, and couldn't give a fuck about attracting women or being in a relationship.

Perfect_Try7261 · 2022-08-14T01:52:58+00:00

Yeah Money 💰 😂

Affectionate-School3 · 2022-08-14T04:37:43+00:00

Skills? Napoleon Dynamite was right

Training-Rich5057 · 2022-08-14T00:59:54+00:00

Maybe the women have not earned a relationship with a man. They should know they have to earn it. The mindset “I deserve” whatever is crap. What do men stand to gain with women who think like that? Men are better off single with complete freedom.

WTFOMGBBQ · 2022-08-14T04:38:40+00:00

Sooooo, wait. Am i missing something? Doesn’t, generally speaking, one single man=one single woman? Lol,, oh boy…

KochiraJin · 2022-08-14T07:40:46+00:00

Men in general do have a skill deficit. Women tend to want men who are better educated and make more than them. The trend of women making more money and going to collage more raises the bar for the men they want to date. In a level playing field you'd likely see men out compete women in these areas as the higher stakes encourage them to work harder at it. But we don't have a level playing field. Affirmative action policies for women give them a leg up in both their results and their standards for a partner. To address the skill gap you need to address the discrimination against men. The article (probably unintentionally) calls for men to advocate for their rights.

2022-08-14T12:50:57+00:00

"men should step up"

Well men are stepping out. Out of dating and relationships. And some are stepping out to marry foreign women. To me it all sounds like a woman problem.

boomboxspence · 2022-08-14T13:24:21+00:00

Many women can't even live up to those standards. They don't communicate, they just ghost you or throw tantrums

2137gangsterr · 2022-08-14T00:37:44+00:00

The skill of accepting 30+ yo after 30+ partners as a good partner, wife and mother prospect.

2022-08-14T07:54:48+00:00

Articles written today are drivel. You don’t want these “skills”, they will make you a servant. They don’t understand that men no longer find relationships rewarding.

ElectricalTrash404 · 2022-08-14T10:22:00+00:00

I would suggest to women, work on your moral deficit. Most young men really can't work with you until you find some kind of moral compass.

Benxall_ · 2022-08-14T02:53:19+00:00

Skill issue 🤨

drifters74 · 2022-08-14T04:45:18+00:00

So women think that us men are lacking in some department?

RedHokk · 2022-08-14T08:57:02+00:00

Men are single because women's power to choose have multiplied with relationship apps. Before women only had limited options like friends of friends, people from college, peers from work. Now, thousands of men are at the end of their fingertips. This invention destroyed the relationship dynamic that existed since the dawn of times. Now a lot fewer men have sexual partners from the opposite sex, but in return, far less women have fulfilling relationships and are less happier than ever. Men at the top who attract all the women won't easily settle for just one.

Tinder and Hinge transformed hypergamy into mega-ultra-hypergamy on steroids.

Vivid_Lab_8985 · 2022-08-14T00:35:29+00:00

"Skills Deficit" is another expression for "You don't make enough money". You should have a 5 digit income or 6 digits in your bank account, that's all

10Andy_17 · 2022-08-14T08:48:23+00:00

Their “skills deficit” is not being hot enough (or behaving like low status men).

aknabi · 2022-08-14T11:32:46+00:00

Simp skills… men are starting to protect assets and themselves… clearly toxic and misogynistic behavior that must be corrected.

DecimatingDarkDeceit · 2022-08-14T13:57:45+00:00

What Skills Are We Talking About Here?

Not being the part of Top %10 of [ Elite ] multi~billionare Oligarchs... woman are not capable of recognizing normal man as... their equals

ZekalMacabre · 2022-08-14T14:59:47+00:00

The skill of being a slave, apparently.

I'm not interested in learning that skill, thanks.

PleasedEnterovirus · 2022-08-14T15:40:59+00:00

I’m single because I don’t have “Game”. So I guess Game is the skill I’m lacking. (Slightly /s)

SoloRich · 2022-08-14T02:31:37+00:00

So tired of hearing women putting down men for actually being men. Men are from mars and women are from venus seems very true. So let's not hate on the Martians for being Martians or the Venusians for being Venusians. There are bad actors on both sides of the track. generalizations tend to not hold true.

I as a man am single because: I want to be. And i havent found the right person as well. if i find them then i'll change my mind.

MrShrimpDick619 · 2022-08-14T01:36:05+00:00

Truth is this generation changed women wanna see if you worth it by what career you doing.. if you tel her you work at mcdoanlds she’ll fold under pressure

AlbaMeira1107 · 2022-08-14T06:00:34+00:00

Maybe men just aren't inspired anymore by the modern woman. Biologically speaking it's all skewed. Good women certainly inspire men to do great things in life

Proper_Map_6141 · 2022-08-14T10:11:04+00:00

The skill of being handsome lol

pappo4ever · 2022-08-14T10:22:55+00:00

We should stop giving attention to women-centered articles written in incomprehensible women-speak that basically blames men for all their troubles using complex words.

We are perfectly fine being single, most of us can wait 20 years to start a relationship with a girl we really like.

But you ladies, you cannot wait. This is your problem, not ours.

Ceruleanknight1 · 2022-08-14T11:08:48+00:00

Im 36, looks like im 25 physicaly, life guard on the Côte d'Azur during summer season, with motorbike, car, large boat and Helicopter driving license, work 12h a day (during this period), very fit. I work 6 months declared so the French Taxes Services cuts me some slacks and I look clean to them.

Im also half black carribean and learned to cook Martiniquaise specialities from my grandmonther's best friend (food and cocktails) when I was 17 which I still do to this day and do it as a side (not declared) buisness for now during my days off and offseason, going from Home Made Carribean Coconut Punch, Planteurs, marinated mojitos and others, for which I sell a 1L bottle for 42€ (I happen to make up to 200 bottles for private parties often.) and all sort of foods from single bites to whole dishes including Lobster and other delicacies.

My grandmother's best friend is 83, still works with her family in their family restaurant and keeps me up with what she does, she's great.

On the side again, when I have time I check every fairs I can where people sell things they do not wish to keep anymore, buy TCGs folders I find to sell the good cards on specialised websites (Your jaw would drop if you saw the 1st Ed Pokemon card Charizard's price, or old Yu Gi Oh ghost rares as an example)

Finaly I do my own plumbing, car and motorbike fixing cause I learned mechanic and plumbing a little, I still call a professionnal plumber or mech if necessary but it almost never happens cause I invested time in learning how to take care of my vehicles and pipes so that would never happen.

I wasted most of my youth working in uniformed jobs (police) cause I wanted to help people, only to meet women whom cheated on their partner to then make false rape allegations against X or some poor dudes just because they regretted or because they wanted to have a valid looking excuse to their partners..

I have yet to meet a woman whom can do as much as I can (im in a relationship mind you) I started doing all this stuff when I moved back to France in 2018, and the money I made from doing all of this can equal or even surpass the money made by some people in high earning positions (in France), this is what made me realise I wasted my younger years.

But what does women offer today? Many kids from different fathers, insecurities, dramas, only fans, delusional demands, entitlement, narcissic behaviour and selfishness.

I see it every days on the beach for which I am life guard, girls posting funny faces pict of themselves with a cocktail they paid way too much for in their hand on IG, families who pays for private beach mattresses (and drinks) where the father pays and stays on the sand the whole day whilst the women gets to enjoy the comfort. Imagine paying 100€ for a single sunbed whilst your wife gets to lay and you sit your ass in the burning sand like a dog? Fucking hell.

This article popped everywhere on Facebook and it made me laugh, it is basicaly trying to tell us "be a floor wipe on her bad days or/and the red carpet she deserves to walk on on her good days or you're the problem."

Being either or both is not a skill but a fucking detriment to both yourself and society, I know from experience as I was in that position in my previous relationship and it went in the wall faster than Mach 10.

Clearly we're on the right track here.

theDmc231 · 2022-08-14T12:31:30+00:00

Ones that make you more employable for higher paying jobs so the "real women" don't have to

Illadrex2 · 2022-08-14T14:44:55+00:00

This just drives home the thinking that 90 percent of the women want the top 10 percent of men. She can be a six, but thinks she deserves a 10...precisely because of dating apps. I do empathize with the plight

devasiaachayan · 2022-08-14T15:43:50+00:00

Not being 6 foot in height is a pretty good skill deficit. Also many women sharing this article on Twitter were opening albeist. Women being discriminatory towards not just autistic men but even autistic seeming Men has always been a big problem. Anyone who has social anxiety knows how women have treated them. And yet as a society we just ignore it. Also, men are more single because women have complet commodified men and have became too entitled, men need to have some fuckin standards and stop giving free fucks to such women

MGTOWManofMystery · 2022-08-14T21:09:50+00:00

Don't bother trying to make sense of it. It's claptrap. Men haven't changed - women and society has. Open and unrestrained Hypergamy. The death of Enforced Monogamy. But, a MSM article like that couldn't dare mention those subjects.

NullIsUndefined · 2022-08-14T07:11:52+00:00

They are talking about hypergamy. Women on average only want to commit to a man who is much more successful to them. It's probably from evolution, this psychology that i is. Probably a subconscious thing they are not self away of. But it is common observable and measurable

Makes them feel like their children can be provided for if they stop working.

Throw_awayyerr · 2022-08-14T06:51:21+00:00

Women have a skill deficit…

Lightning77Plus · 2022-08-14T01:12:02+00:00

I'd rather be single, all things considered.

Psychotic_Rainbowz · 2022-08-14T07:34:05+00:00

Where I come from having a stable high paying job is pretty much all you need to guarantee getting married. A good reputation in the community is also highly preferable and will raise the chances of marrying the girl of your dreams.

Dapper_Revolution_65 · 2022-08-14T08:23:10+00:00

That is one of the most narrow minded one sided misandrist pieces of nonsense I have ever read.

Are men perfect? No, of course not. However, All of the blame is placed on men in that article and it reeks as if it were written by a male feminist.

It treats all men as if we are incompetent morons. It makes 3 key points all of which are bullshit.

1) Dating opportunities for heterosexual men are diminishing as relationship standards rise.

This is entirely anecdotal. It is true to a degree, but not in the way that they put it. Relationship standards are rising FOR MEN NOT WOMEN. There is a MGTOW movement for a reason. There is nothing wrong with a man having high standards for a relationship as divorce is disproportionately devastating to men compared to women. Oh, and men are still expected to spend 3 months salary on a ring? Really...

2) Men represent 62% of dating app users, lowering their chances of a match.

It's kinda misleading to throw an exact percentage like that as it would vary depending on the dating site. I am sure they include things like "grinder" an all male gay dating app in those numbers tilting it that way, but it's fair to say there are more men than women on dating apps, but there are also more bots than men on dating apps. Dating apps are mostly full of bots. The women on those things are not real women most of the time. I signed up for a couple of those a while back and bots were the main interactions I had. Which caused me to say "Fuck Dating Sites", and quit using them. Bots are the majority of app users not men.

Bots > Men > Women

3) Men need to address skills deficits to meet healthier relationship expectations.

I would argue that this "Skills Deficit" is on the female end if there is a skill gap.

That is an extremely broad brush to paint every man with. They pepper it with stuff like, "Men don't have good communication skills." I call bullshit on that. To say that men as a whole or the majority of men have difficulties communicating is absolute horse shit. If anything women have a problem in that area not men. There I said it!

Women have a tendency to bombard men with useless information, often times as soon as they get in the door...

Most men don't talk as much as most women. That does not mean that men have poor communication skills. Men realize we got 2 ears and 1 mouth. Women like to blab on and gossip like a nonsensical chatterbox much more when compared to most men. Just because women say more stuff doesn't mean they have superior communication skills. Many men have a tendency to filter that shit down and talk about more important things.

Also, there is a big difference when men and women communicate. If a man says, "I have X problem." That means he is seeking some sort of resolution to that problem most of the time.

Inversely, if a woman says, "I have X problem." She is often times not seeking a solution. Rather she just wants to talk about her feelings.

leachlurker · 2022-08-14T09:54:02+00:00

The picture for the article the dude looks a little bit like William defeo is that just me

matrixislife · 2022-08-14T10:13:13+00:00

Didn't think I'd see the day when women wanted PUA training for men.

pappo4ever · 2022-08-14T10:15:32+00:00

For every lonely single men, there is a lonely single woman. Yes, the woman likely has sex or is part of a modern 'harem' but mentally she's likely worse than the man.

Chaelhitshismum · 2022-08-14T12:17:26+00:00

Lets be honest a lot of us would have fucked the peanutbutter jar out of horniness and desperation. If we were to focus on ourselves and get a good life going up our standards as well we would be "single" but there weren't as many problems.

SpringyardDream · 2022-08-14T13:15:18+00:00

The skill to do what the woman increasingly refuses to do - make the other the centre of our world.

Man_of_culture_112 · 2022-08-14T13:51:34+00:00

Skills to get a 1950s middle class lifestyle

CSharpLife · 2022-08-14T13:55:51+00:00

This is why hookers exist LOL

tle712 · 2022-08-14T14:32:30+00:00

The internet allows women to compare the men in their social class and circle to the ideal men they see on the internet. The way it works would be a small group of men will get multiple women while the rest get nothing.

Scyanyde · 2022-08-14T16:04:14+00:00

Ah yes psychologists forcing bullshit rhetoric down our throats yet again.

ihazabucket7 · 2022-08-14T16:43:45+00:00

Get friends that are okay with talking. Support each other. Hang out and do outdoor activates or just hanging out with a cold one or not just hanging out. Obviously if you have big issues that require a doctor do that but having a male community does wonders.

Fauxhacca · 2022-08-14T16:50:00+00:00

Just more ammo for women to use against men and say “you weren’t taught the skills”

hottake_toothache · 2022-08-14T18:11:11+00:00

In feminism, everything is men's fault, always and forever.

Anih1list · 2022-08-14T19:01:08+00:00

The article doesn’t say men NEED to do anything, nor does it imply some moral failing on the part of individual men. It attributes the changing dating landscape to technology, online dating, falling wages, education etc. which make competition fiercer. Addressing skills deficits is just one way men can improve their desirability, along with other things like emotional availability. That is not to say the article believes men today are insufficient, it’s just stating a fact: women care about men having career skills, but men really don’t value that in women. If suddenly men became the desirable ones and women became the competitors, I’d advise women to lose weight or something.

newyorkloser45 · 2022-08-15T02:20:01+00:00

Lmao more like tinder+otherdatingapps+smartphones+onlyfans+hypergamy+social media+vanity+materialism+lookism+eugenics+entitlement+sociopathy+narcissism+life on a silver platter+world at fingertips+a billion other reasons

None of the above is referring to males btw for any onlyfan subscribers lurking and reading this

Asleep-Ad-7459 · 2022-08-15T04:54:51+00:00

"It means valuing your own internal world and respecting your ideas enough to communicate them effectively." - then having your wife tell you that you're wrong anyways 😉

StudentOfTheTruth1 · 2022-08-15T05:03:38+00:00

The "skills deficit" is complete nonsense. Another piece of feminist propaganda to divert attention from the fact that dating and especially marriage are totally not worth it for men, as there are only downsides without any positives. So many men stay away. Then the feminist propaganda machine revs up in the media because

(a) it hurts their pride that men actually reject and avoid women. So they need, and invent, a "narrative" (in today's doublespeak "narrative = lie"). Namely that it's not what it looks like, it's a "deficit" of men, and it's of course their fault like absolutely everything in the Universe. Women are perfect the way they are, they don't need to change anything, especially not their behaviors.

Never, EVER, EVER admit that anything that happens in society is not their decision and initiative, that men actually can have agency and make autonomous decisions about whether to date or marry someone. If something doesn't go their way then it is somebody's "deficit", and of course only men have such a thing.

(b) to bombard men with pro-dating and pro-marriage propaganda, including claims that e.g. "marriage is so GREAT for men because married men make more money etc. etc. etc."

In reality married men must make more money since so much goes to the wife/kids. It is not their choice, it is forced on them. At the same time, if the married man makes, say, 50K and passes 40K onto the wife/kids, he has 10K for himself. The unmarried man makes, much more leisurely, 30K but keeps it all for himself. As a man, who has more money at the end? The unmarried man, 3 times that of the married man.

And so on. The unbelievable hypocrisy of it is that while they come up with the "a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle" stuff, they panic at the first sign that many men an not interested in women, don't date them, don't marry them and stay away. That's also the root of their hatred of MGTOW.

The reality is that "a bicycle needs a fish like a man needs a woman". The bicycle has the power to go fast, especially without having to carry a fish. The feminist fish just don't like that.

xCAPTAINxTEXASx · 2022-08-14T07:15:47+00:00

Yet women are encouraged to just date a guy for his money. So I’m supposed to have all of these skills, with a good paying job while she lounges around the house and spends my money? Yeah, get fucked. I watched that happen to a former coworker. I’m not putting myself in that scenario.

mechajutaro · 2022-08-14T05:08:36+00:00

I'll re-iterate Don Of Desire's assessment of this situation, as it's the most cogent one that's been offered: Men and women are both suffering from a dearth of social intelligent, and it's getting worse. That's what the advent of social media and streaming services hath wrought

2022-08-14T07:29:30+00:00

The gist of the article is that because women now have access to the money and resources that men typically have had access to and used to rear families and dependents, that women are finding it hard to date now, because the men are no longer something to strive to obtain - they are now equals.

This pisses women off, because they only date across and up on the dating heirarchy, and never down.

timmah1991 · 2022-08-14T07:52:42+00:00

I’m so glad I married a Korean woman.

hemayneverloveme · 2022-08-14T17:01:45+00:00

Men don't court women anymore. Most want to Netflix and chill. I just went on a date with a guy that wanted to invite me over after one date. When I finally went over turns out he lives in a hotel and wanted to have sex, after just one date which was just a beer. When I said no, he got upset. When I called him out for living in a hotel, he said I should be thankful because most people's in our city have roommates. He's 39.

IamBex999 · 2022-08-14T07:09:21+00:00

The skills lesbians have.

ZaGaGa · 2022-08-14T09:20:47+00:00

Pointless article in my opinion. I've "left the market" just before the rise os dating apps, and still remember going to bars/discos/pubs filled with men. Girls were always very selective in those environments. Nothing new. And at that time most of the men who consistently failed had a major skill deficit in socialising without getting drunk.

I think modern societies are "lonelyer" as a whole duo to factors that affect both genders. Pointing to men as a weak part of the chain just because some statistics are now possible doesn't seems to be the correct interpretation of the data.

Animusalchemy · 2022-08-14T01:17:13+00:00

"The reason men don't men don't pursue me is because they're deficient somehow!"

"How? How should I know!? They're the broken ones let them figure it out!"

Could you imagine a guy writing something like that?

How much ridicule he would get? 😆

beleidigtewurst · 2022-08-14T12:10:55+00:00

Man I really want to know what they mean by that last sentence. What " skills " are we talking about here?

To address part of the article that I find reasonable: commitment standards, chuckle. (I wish I was NOT serious).

Say, certain type of romantic movies shows hard/unachievable standards of simping that most women watching can relate to.

That inevitably sets a bar a tad too high.

But what it leads to is roughly the same number of single women and men. (both parties dissatisfied in own ways)

#I mean, have you seen what is going on in "FemaleDatingAdvice" subr? Yikes. (it is no longer visible)

And, oh boy, for 1001s time: number of single men/women in 25-50 years old span is roughly on par.

Stop confusing having "bang bang" with relationships.

And, yeah, some males have more "bang bang", while others don't get any.

That is how pretty much all mammals are

In fact, we are better off in that sense.

No-Nothing9287 · 2022-08-14T16:26:25+00:00

Well let’s be honest here a lot of young men are only useful to play video games and vape. What else do they do? Even the army can’t recruit em

ImaginaryGlade7400 · 2022-08-15T06:18:39+00:00

Alright I'll take a crack at it, and probably get downvoted but just to preface- this is not some blanket statement on all men. If you are a man, and these statements don't fit you, then apply the "shoe doesn't fit" motto. And, on the flip side, these are not mutually exclusive to men. Women can, and do fit these criteria as well, so take it on an individual basis. And to preface, I am a feminist who stumbled across this thread- the article is poorly written, but I'll try to clarify a few things.

-Communication skills: Some men seriously struggle with both basic, and broad communication. For example, some men cannot identify what they are feeling, and express it in a calm and respectful manner. Some men can express what they are feeling, but cannot identify why they are feeling that way, and what initially triggered them to feel such. Some men can identify both, but fail to express themselves respectfully and calmly. Some men cannot express their feelings in a context that is blameless- that is to say, they blame their partner for their feelings. Placing blame on either partner leads to defensiveness, not open communication. Consider the following statements:

I wouldn't feel this way if you werent such a condescending _____ (asshole, bitch, whatever insult fits the bill)

Versus

When you said ____, I felt hurt because of ____. Did you intend for that statement to be hurtful?

Statement 1 is placing blame, and is not constructive. Statement two on the other hand expressed what the person is feeling, why, and does not assume that it was done on purpose, giving the other partner a chance to openly communicate back without defensiveness.

Some men fail to communicate the issue when it first arises, and instead tend to dump out all their issues at once while their partner is trying to discuss their own feelings.

To clarify, if you were attempting to discuss say, mens rights with a partner and your partner cut you off and started expressing their feelings about something you did that upset them, it comes off disingenuous, and bulldozing over the others feelings. This is the same for women- if I, for example, was upset with something my partner did and as I tried to express that he dumped 20 problems on me that he was upset about and failed to communicate until I was trying to express myself, it comes off as a lack of respect and failure to communicate effectively. There is a time and place to communicate what you're feeling that does not involve switching the spotlight onto yourself during a partners vent- this can be taking turns, or waiting until the next day to discuss feelings. Similarly, if the only time you discuss or communicate feelings is during a fight, that is bad communication. Some men fail to appropriately apologize, or accept blame for legitimate wrongs done to the other partner which is bad communication and dishonest, and yes that applies to women if they do the same. Gaslighting from either partner is also unacceptable.

Continuing, neither partner is a mindreader. Yes, you read that right, that goes towards women too. We cannot expect to intrinsically know your needs, and both partners need to communicate what they need to the other partner. This does NOT apply to household chores however- since we're speaking adults here, both partners can, or at least should, be able to recognize that a chore needs to be done, or how to properly do a chore. If you see your trash can is overflowing for example- take it out immediately. Neither partner should need to instruct the other that the trash needs taken out, or to throw dirty clothes into a hamper and not the floor, or how to take care of yourself. Both partners should know how to cook, even if not "well", how to clean their own clothes, clean a bathroom, run a vaccuum, and so forth. Those are basic life skills that are not exclusive to either sex.

-Emotionally Available: This ties into good communication- if either partner cannot devote necessary time and attention to their partner, then they are emotionally unavailable. Whether that be due to a lack of work/life balance, lack of proper communication, or lack of understanding of the other partners needs, both partners need to be able to be open, honest, and vulnerable while expressing appropriate levels of intimacy. Intimacy is not exclusive to sex- intimacy includes general non-sexual touching (hand holding, cuddling, kisses and other affection), gift giving, quality time together, mutual sharing of activities or hobbies, sending videos or internet memes that reminded the person of the other person, words of affirmation, & so forth. This also includes commitment, regardless of relationship style (monogamy or nonmonogamy). If either partner, but for hypothetical in this case men, fails to respect the other partners boundaries or communicate their own boundaries that is bad communication and a lack of respect.

A few things the article didn't mention, as it was overly broad and quite vague:

-Equal sharing of household priorities: There is nothing wrong if both partners enjoy a "traditional" style family in which the man works and the woman stays at home. However, no one wants to be parenting their partner. BOTH partners live in the house, and should be contributing to household chores, childcare if children are involved, and household errands. This can be shared equally down the middle, done on a rotating chart, or multiple other ways to split the difference equally. If either partner is being burdened with more physical or emotional labor then the other partner, the relationship will inevitably fail. If the only thing either partner is bringing to the table is a paycheck, the relationship will fail; Anyone can work a 9-5 job, not everyone can properly set boundaries for themselves and effectively communicate their feelings without jumping to anger first, or help maintain a cleanly and organized home. If one partner is the only partner responsible for cleaning, cooking, childcare, setting appointments, & so forth and the other partners only responsibility is a 9-5 job, then the share is heavily unequal.

-Active and continued engagement of relationship: If either partner fails to continuously put in effort to the relationship, that includes all things mentioned above, the relationship will inevitably fail.

-Unrealistic expectations: This goes for either partner. If either partner is setting unrealistic expectations about money, physical appearance, or amount of emotional or physical labor done the relationship will fail.

Azihayya · 2022-08-14T02:05:35+00:00

Like, cleaning up, from the sound of it.

meermaalsgeprobeerd · 2022-08-14T11:12:54+00:00

Come on you guys, this is not about mens rights. This post is about mens egos, the question is answerd in the article. Skills are communication en emotinal availabillity. Solution mentioned too: work on your mental health.

Sure, the writing style (and subject) are antagonizing but maybe that's the point of the article. Maybe we could be less emotional about this and more rational about this. We all want perfect partners and no one is getting them cause none of us are perfect. Butnif you have to be all emotional about this, go look up some stats on single moms and dating succes or older women... there are a lot more single grandmas then there are grandpas!

L-I-V-I-N- · 2022-08-14T15:31:25+00:00

This sub Reddit is the biggest victims mentality group out there. Truly remarkable how brainless people can be. But I read it because it’s hilarious seeing you guys whine about shit you make up in your heads, makes me feel better about myself that I’ll never be this much of a loser.

LoomisKnows · 2022-08-14T08:35:34+00:00

Usually they're talking about home economics skills, cooking/cleaning/childcare/meal planning etc

4damW · 2022-08-14T11:39:56+00:00

Well, men have obviously become weaker and less masculine, so maybe that’s a start?

Remarkable-Row-2288 · 2022-08-14T01:49:59+00:00

Skills deficit entails me. Actually speaking to women

DirtAndGrass · 2022-08-14T12:39:29+00:00

Glad they took advice from napolean dynamite https://youtu.be/XsiiIa6bs9I

This must be satire

LAFredddy · 2022-08-14T12:42:13+00:00

Probably because men don’t want to date “chicks” that have dicks. Or men as what they are.

B1G_Fan · 2022-08-14T12:46:31+00:00

The irony is that I would argue that feminism is, at minimum, partially responsible for the "skills gap"

Before the late 1970s, employers would take employees with relatively useless degrees and train them in-house. Being able to take someone who meets 30% to 50% of the criteria that an employer is looking for and training them for the remaining 50% to 70% was a net benefit to employers

The problem is that it's expensive to do that when some of your employees might go on a 9-month leave of absence to have a child. Now, after you go through the trouble to train someone, they leave to go have a child and now you have to find someone who can do the job with no training to keep up productivity.

But, god forbid society says "no" to the unreasonable demands of women!

jhx264 · 2022-08-14T13:12:02+00:00

Skillz 2 pay da billz

KlosterToGod · 2022-08-14T13:44:31+00:00

“For men, this means a relationship skills gap”

—it’s suggesting that men lack skills women expect in their relationships, and women are now being more picky about who they date.

“women between the ages of 25 and 45: They prefer men who are emotionally available, good communicators, and share similar values.”

— the article suggests that many women perceive men to lack emotional availability, shared values and appropriate or healthy communication skills, which is a more recent expectation they have for their partners comparatively to history. This is causing women to become more selective. The article suggests that in response to this, men who lack these skills should seek therapy to address what they should have been taught in childhood if they want women to be interested in dating them, which seems like generally pretty good advice if you’re a man who is struggling to date.

2022-08-14T17:29:47+00:00

Every man has a mom. So when women complain about their husbands and also have a son….

thnxMrHofmann · 2022-08-14T17:44:57+00:00

They think they deserve a millionaire guy because they have 5 digits or more in tiktok followers that's what most bring to the table I think lol idk. I don't talk to chicks anymore lol got my creampie on at work last year, had my share of poon, but that wifey quality ain't there. The ones that might be remotely wifey I ain't tryna be a step dad with or they got their heads shoved into their work with zero time. I'm just concentrating on retiring by 40 in 7 years. My end goal is quitting work and a RV or camper and hitting all 49 states to trip shrooms or acid at all of em.

Maybe my skill set will show up after I retire lol Damn I didn't make my life meaningful by taking on responsibility by having a family... guess I'm stuck sleeping in until 1pm with money in the bank after eating this shroom chocolate bar at Yellowstone lol I'm in infj. I don't waste time on shit that doesn't work. I change course/goals if they won't be achievable; like marriage. Which is fine, I'll concentrate on never working again, happiness will come one way or another is the way I see it, thats the goal. If I retire by 40 THEN I meet someone? Well here's a prenup. I'm not losing tendies and whatever assets I have by then just because u wanna suddenly find yourself by letting strangers blow ya back out lol

Theapexfighter · 2022-08-14T20:18:46+00:00

The skill to take risks

tmpTomball · 2022-08-14T21:36:42+00:00

Or.... It could be that people are too insanely selective. Stuff like:

Must be:

6'6" or taller
6% body fat or less
6 figure salary

Guys hitting all those sixes are not generally in the dating pool. Most people looking for dates have some imperfections.

My comment from another thread about the article. Of course the thread was a dumpster fire and got deleted.

There was a site on the dating forums that popped up a while ago. It was more of a joke than anything, but it does raise the questions

Dating Delusion Calculator

It comes from the "don't compromise" mantra thrown around presently. Things like

I won't date fat people
I won't date poor people
I won't date short people
I won't date people with kids
I won't date people with pets

Well eventually, the uncompromising standards lead to a over-selective dating pool. Before OLD, people would bump into each other and learn more and more about them as they grew more attached. Once you spent an hour at a bar with someone, it became less important that they had a cat, or were carrying and extra 10 lbs, or were only 6'1" instead of 6'6".

Excluding on arbitrary things before a single conversation is part of the problem.

Silentpoolman · 2022-08-14T22:27:20+00:00

Gotta be able to fix everything and know how to fix it already. If you consult a tutorial or ask someone for advice, you've failed as a man. Also never show any negative emotions and be able to keep those emotions in check so you DON'T show them, always say the right thing and never EVER express any doubt or use caution.

TracyMorganFreeman · 2022-08-15T01:54:55+00:00

Social skills require honest feedback.

When people lie to you to "spare your feelings", or ghost you, you don't get proper feedback.

When people treat you as a means of utility until something better comes along, and then the reason you're given-if any-is not the actual reason, you don't get proper feedback.

When you're told your behavior is creepy or toxic, without qualification as to why or how, you don't get proper feedback, and that's if the reason is actually they think it's creepy/toxic and not just gaslighting you.

This isn't unique to women, but it is definitely practiced more by them, and seen as acceptable/necessary by them.

Then they, or perhaps the next generation of women unwittingly blame the men for not having the proper social skills.

It's downright institutional emotional abuse.

DanielleDrs88 · 2022-08-15T02:40:12+00:00

I recommend everyone to look into the author, beginning with his TikTok account.

Then read the article.

In complete honesty, there should be a look into him. Blaming an entire anything for an observed trend is outright unethical and I would seriously worry about anyone under his care. His TT account is riddled with videos of him "dueting" (interpret that how you will) with female content creators who spat trendy pop-psych tid-bits. No additional commentary. Just him. Watching them, while the video plays. And that's it. The rest were gross examples of toxic positivity and other majorly tone deaf content. It was difficult to even watch the videos that I did.

And then I read the article. It completely changed how I absorbed what I read next. I'm not going to play armchair psychologist or anything. I won't gi on a spiel about how I know what I know, it's just my humble two cents. In my personal opinion, dude is a fucking narcissist. Clearly insecure, vapid, and self-absorbed. I would not take anything he says seriously. It's honestly embarrassing that this article has even been circulating, much less that it was posted on PT. I'm not surprised whatsoever, though. That website has become utter trash now. All in all, my partner and I just kind of laughed our way through the article, though it was plenty frustrating how intentionally vague he was. A very surreptitious man and I just get bad vibes from him. Again, just my two cents.

Stormiceretti · 2022-08-15T13:32:53+00:00

HAHAHAHAHA

Strigon_7 · 2022-08-15T13:54:09+00:00

Skills like not being 6ft tall. Like not having an ivy league education. Like not being born into wealth. Like nit meeting whatever random arbitrary metric feminists throw out there knowing full well the same would never be expected of them.

shit-zen-giggles · 2022-08-16T14:10:11+00:00

It's an advertisement for his counceling services. The guy is husseling for some easy to work with, financially relatively well off patients.

How can men reap the benefit of the algorithms? Level up your mental health game. That means getting into some individual therapy to address your skills gap.

This is a non-sequitur (does not follow). This is the "slight of hand' moment where the deception occurs.

starfield_pro · 2022-08-17T03:38:51+00:00

Women want men to engage with their (the women's) emotional state, and keep up with it, so she can manipulate him. Men who refuse to play this game are considered having poor emotional and relationship skills.

The majority of men whom women date have almost no emotional requirements, that's not what it's about.

AmazingPreference955 · 2022-08-22T05:02:15+00:00

Constructive communication, emotional literacy, and empathy are all skills that women are encouraged to develop from early childhood more than men are, and they are all important in sustaining long relationships.

argentrification · 2022-08-23T00:18:13+00:00

Some of the skills:

Anger management - Are you good at managing your anger, without yelling, swearing at someone, abandoning a situation, or hitting things? Do you consistently identify, "I feel angry, but I'm going to breathe and stay calm and try to understand what the other person is saying."

Emotional literacy - After you feel angry, do you think more about it and give more specific names to the emotions that were under the anger? Anger is a defensive reaction that makes us feel strong. Usually we get angry to hide from a vulnerable emotion that made us feel small. Can you consistently identify feelings like, "I felt vulnerable / unloved / scared you would leave me / embarrassed / small / unimportant / lonely". Can you talk about those feelings without using tactics like yelling, swearing, threatening, or banging around to try to make yourself feel bigger?

Vulnerabilty & Trust - Can you consistently explain those vulnerable feelings to someone you trust?Listening - How often has someone said, "You're an amazing listener?" If you truly are an amazing listener you'll probably hear that a couple times a month. If you don't hear it very often, you may need to practice better listening.

Hygiene - Look at your fingernails and toenails. Is the white part less than 2 mm long and clean? Do you have skid marks in your shorts? Do you wash your butthole, with soap, every day? Are your eyeglasses all greasy? Do you have dandruff? Does your groin smell bad? Do your feet smell bad? Do you have bumpy tartar on your teeth and dark red swollen gums? Have you been to a dentist in the past year? Have you washed your bed sheets this week? Have you washed your bath mat this month?

Childcare - What size clothing and shoes do each of your kids wear? Where is their winter jacket stored? Is there already one waiting for them this winter, or do they need a new one? What's their teacher's name? Where is the children's Tylenol stored? Whose birthday party is coming up next and has that child's gift been purchased? Do you make your wife do all this stuff? Is that fair to her?

Community-building - Think back to the last 5 outings you had with a girlfriend. Who planned them? Who bought the hostess gifts / presents / wrote the cards? Do you do the work to create a supportive and reciprocal social life for your family?

Housekeeping - Look around you. Is there underwear on the floor? Is there garbage on your desk? When's the last time your toilet was scrubbed? When's the last time you got a new toothbrush? Is there a live plant and some art in your home? When's the last time you aired out your home? Do you live in a neckbeard nest?

Is your home and your hygiene yucky and ugly, and are your emotions a mess, and you're expecting a girl to come be your girlfriend and clean it all up and give you sex in exchange for you slamming around when you're mad instead of talking?

This is what like, 50% of men are like. It's grim and it sucks dating them. Is that you??

Have you noticed that many women keep nice cozy clean homes, take care of their bodies, do self improvement like therapy and journalling, read and listen to podcasts to improve their mental heath and relationship skills, want to talk and listen warmly during conflicts, build warm supportive communities for themselves and their families, and own up to their emotions? Men can and should be like that too.

bdng09 · 2023-03-05T14:12:22+00:00

Most men have about zero relational skills and the emotional capacity of a piece of tape.

Title	Apparently Now Men Are Single Because Of A " Skills Deficit ". What Skills Are We Talking About Here?
Author	DynamicCrab
Upvotes	820
Comments	307
Date	August 13, 2022 10:28 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/wnqf57/apparently_now_men_are_single_because_of_a_skills/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/apparently-now-men-are-single-because-of-a-skills.1127404 https://theredarchive.com/post/1127404

Comments

That is how pretty much all mammals are