Men are more likely to divorce a sick wife.

Mrs_Drgree · 2022-08-15T09:19:54+00:00

This is not a question

Gracie_777 · 2022-08-15T01:37:53+00:00

Yeah I read this as well and I've seen it irl too. It really puts a fly in the red pill ointment in my opinion. They are always so keen to point out how women view men as a utility, can't really love, are only opportunistic and endlessly hypergamous when this proves the opposite is true. Men who when their loyal, living wives get sick suddenly go "oh no my sex and housework robot is broken, let me dump it in the trash and get a new one, she's worthless without her utility to me"

Obviously not all men think like that but probably a lot of guys here would be like this and resent their wives for not in their eyes being fully functional.

wtknight · 2022-08-15T02:02:13+00:00

I don't know. It sucks? I can't speak for the decisions of other men, but I personally wouldn't divorce my wife if she got sick.

AbeBaconKingFroman · 2022-08-15T01:34:50+00:00

Study was flawed.

https://www.deseret.com/2015/8/4/20569426/study-that-found-husbands-prone-to-leave-sick-wives-was-flawed-researchers-say

The end.

Hoopy223 · 2022-08-15T01:42:43+00:00

Men losing their jobs greatly increases divorce chances too. I think it has ti do with expectations and what people are prepared to deal with.

And lets be real, no matter how you spin it Women are usually the ones filing for divorce and things like abuse, medical issues, cheating aren’t high on the list.

ThorLives · 2022-08-15T01:37:54+00:00

Like the whole "women divorce more" thing let's look at it. Women and men break up about every during dating. But with marriage women's rate of ending things increases. We know women tend to do most of the housework and childcare in a couple, and we know most women are working full time. And single women report happier, healthier lives. Single moms get better sleep than married women with kids. What does all this mean....??

Could it be that men are more likely to get comfortable amd not invest in the family they created? Could it be men are relying on old gender norms of women do the grunt work and men play catch and do the occasional discipline and call it even? Could it be that women are tired of raising their husband's?

Red pill men won't listen though because they don't actually care about women. Watch they justify it with "well it's not that big a difference", "well we don't know how long he was unhappy" and deflect "well sure that's bad but the women's divorce rate is so much worse overall"

HuckleberryThis2012 · 2022-08-15T03:02:54+00:00

This holds up to my anecdotal personal experience lol. Husband and wife played in an intramural sports league I was in for years and at a game the wife got shot from a stray bullet from an argument having nothing to do with the intramural game, and ended up paralyzed. They divorced relatively soon after that.

SmarmyPapsmears · 2022-08-15T01:44:06+00:00

You mean a retracted study?

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26157045/

Warm_Gur8832 · 2022-08-15T02:20:42+00:00

Men that leave their wives because they get sick are terrible people. The statistic sucks and I’m sorry.

I’m not sure what else to say about it.

RandomRedditGuy322 · 2022-08-15T03:45:35+00:00

Women marry for money, men marry for looks and sex.

If a woman leaves a sick man, she loses out on probably around half of the estate that would be left in the event of the man's death. So it makes sense for her to stick it out. She wanted the money, and staying maximizes the money she gets.

If a man leaves a sick woman, he loses no sex and loses a sickly looking woman, and gains a younger, healthier, sexier new woman and as long as the man can keep her a secret until his current wife dies he probably won't be divorced for anything either.

I have no idea why you wouldn't expect this result. It makes sense given what men/women marry for.

icefire54 · 2022-08-15T04:18:41+00:00

false

https://archive.ph/oH5iv

And the specific study you've cited was retracted due to a coding error.

https://www.gbtribune.com/news/trending-topics/study-that-found-husbands-prone-to-leave-sick-wives-was-flawed-researchers-say/

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0022146514568351

geyges1 · 2022-08-15T02:15:05+00:00

Anecdotal, but my boyfriend broke up with me when I got chronically ill because I got chronically ill. It def happens.

HeimskurBlastbeat · 2022-08-15T03:16:01+00:00

Maybe, but what people dont talk about: Men are WAY MORE LIKELY to overlook disabilities and chronic illness when they consider dating women. Women are considerably more strict and dismissive, men with illnesses or disabilities usually do not appear as viable dating partners.

Cibfbfin · 2022-08-15T04:08:00+00:00

Because the women leave far before it gets to that point for the men.

Women leave the moment the income gets effected. Which usually comes before the hospitalization.

Take the men’s hospitalization records and check if they’ve been divorced within the last 5 years.

The reality is it’s not that the men leave when the women gets seriously sick. they stay until she does while she if situations reversed would have already left months or years ago.

So the reality is the ones who stayed till he’s sick are already pre selected for being the ones who stay during tough times.

Reality is at the end both probably have their reasons to leave and it’s complicated. But the demonization of men is something that I think will bite women in the back in the future. Starting a gender war with the sex that murked the saber tooth tigers isn’t gonna work out in the long term.

So I think we got to keep a cool level head and not just jump the gun on all these studies that have low sample sizes and have 0 cultural context or even looks at the larger scope of things.

underdaawg · 2022-08-15T05:23:41+00:00

It says a 1% higher chance of divorce if the wife is getting sick right? I'm not sure how dependable that study is considering the sample size is so small and apart from the fact that in case of sickness widowhood is more likely than divorce.

On top of that looks like that study was retractated as there was an error in the code that used to do the calculations. https://retractionwatch.com/2015/07/21/to-our-horror-widely-reported-study-suggesting-divorce-is-more-likely-when-wives-fall-ill-gets-axed/ The corrected study says the divorce likelihood is higher only in case of hear disease. And it doesn't still look into who initiated the divorce. All this scream confirmation bias to me. Click bait in the academic world.

Carolinaathiest · 2022-08-15T05:30:53+00:00

Women are more likely to divorce a man if he loses his job/wealth.

MischievousCarrot · 2022-08-15T05:39:48+00:00

Nice, nice, now do this but with unemployment.

Marzipan-Happy · 2022-08-15T03:51:00+00:00

I'm not surprised. It's more fucked up when men abandon their children so this isn't really shocking.

FaxSpitinLegSpreadin · 2022-08-15T01:35:55+00:00

The man can do whatever he wants and she isn't owed anything.

cast-away-ramadi06 · 2022-08-15T02:19:59+00:00

Honestly, this makes me sick to my stomach to think about someone divorcing their spouse when they're sick/down on their luck/hit a rough patch in their job/etc. I'd shun anyone I knew who did such a thing.

HushPuppy1993 · 2022-08-15T02:53:26+00:00

Well even if, a decently virtuous man would never do such a thing.

Character-Current-57 · 2022-08-15T02:53:39+00:00

I have a hard time believing this. I could see them looking for outside sex.

Laytheblameonluck · 2022-08-15T03:23:59+00:00

It doesn't say that men are more likely to divorce a sick wife. And it doesn't mean it either.

Explanatory factors like illness causing financial hardship, relationship stress, negativity ...etc

boofthegirl · 2022-08-15T03:28:57+00:00

The oncologist literally told my auntie to prepare for divorce after her diagnosis of pancreatic cancer. It was like in the whole spiel like “here’s our recommended treatment plan, these are the side effects that you can expect oh, and, also, probably get a good divorce lawyer”.

Thankfully, my uncle is a great husband and he’s now a great single dad since my auntie passed leaving him with a 2 and 4 year old.

beleidigtewurst · 2022-08-15T07:54:32+00:00

Honest take is that SOME STUDIES SHOW that, while others don't.

In the very study (UK, NHS) they found that only 6% of such marriages end up in divorce (24% end in widowhood, so spouse death is 4 times more likely, than divorce).

But the HIT here is that:

wife’s illness onset is positively associated with 1% higher probability of subsequent divorce

Yes, you read it right, 1 percent higher probability of men divorcing a wife that is ill.

TLDR; minuscule effects at play, nothing to see here, essentially a clickbait.

2022-08-15T03:25:11+00:00

I would say it's probably the same reason more men abandon their children, it's pathetic and inexcusable though. I think the duty of married men is to serve their wives until they die, regardless of circumstances.

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2022-08-15T01:31:42+00:00

Until death do us apart.

Sad_Entertainer6312 · 2022-08-15T01:54:52+00:00

It's only shitty men who do this. I can understand how it happens though. Those men want to be taken care of, and when the roles are reversed they lose interest.

ThorLives · 2022-08-15T02:20:15+00:00

Just some clarifications:

however in the case of serious illness, men tend to divorce their wives in higher rates.

The study says that they didn't track who divorced who. For example, if a woman was sick and divorced her husband, they don't actually track who divorced who. It's an assumption that the man initiated the divorce, but we don't know for sure. It does seem intuitive that a sick person wouldn't file for divorce, although I have heard of it happening. There's a podcast called "Dying for Sex" that I listened to a while back where a woman was diagnosed with terminal cancer and she divorced her husband to live the last months/year of her life sleeping around.

Also, one of the odd things in the study was that heart disease and stroke were associated with an elevated risk of divorce (about 2% higher risk of divorce), but cancer and lung disease was NOT associated with an increased chance of divorce. I'm not sure what to make of that.

SteveSan82 · 2022-08-15T05:42:51+00:00

Mentally Ill ones yes

Sigma_Fang · 2022-08-15T03:38:28+00:00

Former marine, women are more likely to leave a wounded wounded warrior. quit virtue signalling. you dont know what the fuck youre talking about

HazyMemory7 · 2022-08-15T02:28:56+00:00

Very telling that despite that being the case women still initiate a 70-80% of divorces. And make up 98% of alimony recipients.

Play_Muted · 2022-08-15T02:04:03+00:00

Idk how this has anything to do with me

Puzzleheaded_Bet7294 · 2022-08-15T04:04:23+00:00

Why would you wanna stay with someone who’s sick tf

FrostieTheSnowman · 2022-08-15T02:52:27+00:00

People really suck sometimes. It would appear that statistically, in this situation, men suck more often.

MSotallyTober · 2022-08-15T04:24:40+00:00

Ken Watanabe did, no?

gladusgates · 2022-08-15T04:31:23+00:00

What do I think of it? It's obviously shitty, but men require consistent sex in a relationship. A woman who is unable to provide that is under some level of risk. Same thing goes for a man who is financially inadequate, he is also under risk of divorce. Again, it's shitty, but I am not surprised.

2022-08-15T04:33:52+00:00

Womens body breaks down men leave, mens financial support breaks down women leave.

We all provide utility to our partners, on a macro level, it plays out. The number one reason for divorce is money….and that sure as shit isn’t having too much of it, and with 2/3 of divorces being by women that money is men not making enough or spending it in the right ways….so men do have there side of this arrangement they leave over, and it’s the body, a woman is valued for her body, a man is valued for his utility….his utility diminishes, he gone. Her body fails her, she gone. Neither of those are the “usual” outcomes, usually a woman stays with a man when he loses his job. Usually a man stays with a woman when she gets sick….but both instances mean they are at a higher risk of their partner leaving.

Bardox30 · 2022-08-15T04:56:43+00:00

I guess it might has to be with women socially being perceived as caretakers and sex providers. In contrast with men, who are seem socially as money providers, and partners are more willing to leave them because of losing job or having no money.

kinhk · 2022-08-15T04:57:35+00:00

I’m not sure the point your trying to make here. We all know the story of a man losing his job followed by his wife leaving him and taking the kids.

_xschittyusername · 2022-08-15T06:23:17+00:00

My partners Stepdad looked after his wife my partner and my partner's little sister after their mother (his wife ) passed away from cancer. He continued to raise them and also he isn't the biological father either. The biological was a horrible person so she made it that he couldn't hurt her or the kids.

Fast forward some years, the sister's she's all grown up in college still living at home and he had settled down with another lady who also has two children m and f their dad also a piece of poop left them. His now wife has been diagnosed with cancer. He's still with her looking after the 4 young adults.

Knowing all this just makes me love and appreciate my partner's family so much more, life really threw some heartbreak at all of them but they are doing well and my FIL has been by all their sides since day dot.

Story two

My best friend from school's mum was diagnosed with breast cancer she's basically the mum I never had, her husband was on an oxygen machine but they worked together to look after one another. Her husband's lungs packed in heartbreakingly. But she had beaten cancer. (Caught it early very lucky) fast forward after his send away to the afterlife she got breast cancer again. This time it really came back quite aggressive and she was really sick. This time she was also heartbroken and depressed and suicidal. She wasn't the same person was always hysterical in emotion. She beat it again but lost all her hair down to chemo etc.

Some months later she has stomach cancer but she keeps going. She got herself a beautiful wig to help her feel better about herself my friend joked she was looking for another man. But she snapped and was like no. I don't want anybody else he and you are what get me through. I only ever loved one man in my life. That was your dad.

abaxeron · 2022-08-15T06:46:00+00:00

men, what you think of this?

Considering and putting aside that you've already been shown the study had a massive coding error that authors admitted,

when we guys point out that women initiate (statistically significant) majority of divorces and (statistically insignificant but observable) majority of breakups, we're often faced with the same repeated mantra. "What if he was abusive. What if he cheated on her. Anyway, it's her choice and none of your business". In some sense, I'd gladly just say that women's movement turned divorce into almost a civil right, and marriage into a joke, so any event like this (being dumped bc of sickness) is nothing but women facing consequences of their own collective choices.

But then I also remember that almost all of "men bad" arguments and "evidence" have a half-life of about six months. "1 in 5 women" are raped on college campuses, and yet millions of them apply and enroll in colleges, these brick and mortar rape factories, as if their lives depended on it, no matter how useless the degree is. Men, it would seem, rape and kill their spouses at enormous rates, and yet women wear the fanciest dresses to their weddings and invite dozens of friends and relatives to celebrate. Workplace harrassment, it would seem, affects every woman who has ever spent more than a month in employment, but don't you even dare to think of obvious solution of segregated workplaces.

Because nobody in their sane mind really takes this nonsense seriously; especially women themselves. I've seen it so many times that it got me disincentivized.

When some "evidence" that "men bad" surfaces, gets circulated in the media, gets wide discussion and raises massive public awareness, BUT results in zero change in people's behavior, it means that this evidence most likely is either flawed, incomplete, or both. Sometimes it takes several months to find out how exactly. Sometimes longer. In case of this particular study, this article was written four years after its publishing:

https://observer.com/2019/08/medical-divorce-grim-reality-expensive-health-care-bills/

The US has really messed up system of covering the costs of medical services. Some people use divorce as a means of reducing these costs. Simple as that.

sorebum405 · 2022-08-15T08:21:51+00:00

I already addressed this claim

Valuable-Marzipan761 · 2022-08-15T08:47:37+00:00

It's bad and they shouldn't do it. I don't really understand what you're asking.

dbz19_kai · 2022-08-15T09:04:39+00:00

Men are also more likely to do commit homicide. I think men are overrepresented in a lot of bad things, but at the same time the guys who do do this are outliers and pretty much skew the data and its no implication that average men are gonna do these things.

96% of homicides worldwide are committed by men. Does this mean every man is gonna kill their wife?

So most abandoning the spouse during sickness is done by men, but I don't think this implies average normal men around the median are gonna divorce their wife.

chingness · 2022-08-15T09:08:38+00:00

I’ve heard a few accounts of hospice workers saying exactly this - it’s so awful to think of anyone doing this to anyone. In some cases apparently the dude is actively dating whilst the wife is dying in the hospice.. Widowed men are also faster to remarry after the death of their spouse…

Marzipan-Happy · 2022-08-15T14:43:43+00:00

Wow not good sources at all. I've done my research and scholarly resources show me you're wrong. Keep spoon feeding me reddit and magazine articles though, makes you look so legit

Title	Men are more likely to divorce a sick wife.
Author	Marzipan-Happy
Upvotes	58
Comments	275
Date	August 15, 2022 1:21 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/womcl6/men_are_more_likely_to_divorce_a_sick_wife/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-are-more-likely-to-divorce-a-sick-wife.1128012 https://theredarchive.com/post/1128012

Comments

wife’s illness onset is positively associated with 1% higher probability of subsequent divorce

Former marine, women are more likely to leave a wounded wounded warrior. quit virtue signalling. you dont know what the fuck youre talking about