Do you have any lasting feelings for the guy you lost your virginity to?

EulenWatcher · 2022-10-10T07:26:02+00:00

Sure, I'm still in love with him and I'd go great length to stay with him. But that's because he's my husband, not because he's the first and only person I've ever had sex with.

GoldenHornyChicken · 2022-10-10T07:02:25+00:00

I purposely lost my virginity with a guy I didn't know well and didn't plan to see again - but very nice - to be able to move on from it and feel more confident with boys. So no lol. There was never any feelings involved. 15 years later, I never think about him, but if you ask, he was nice and gentle, it was a good experience.

BeepBeepSaysTheJeep · 2022-10-10T03:54:39+00:00

No.

Men grossly overestimate the power of their penises if they believe that they have the ability to change my value.

bunnakay · 2022-10-10T02:20:16+00:00

To borrow a quote I saw elsewhere: why do men think 5 minutes of shitty, awkward sex turns a woman into something completely different than she was before?

FineDevelopment00 · 2022-10-10T02:16:26+00:00

Do you have any lasting feelings for the guy you lost it to?

Yes but context matters: He's my first love, I waited until marriage and thus was already fully committed to him before doing the deed, and we're still happily married.

do you believe losing it to him made your relationship stronger?

I do, and he even said he felt closer to me than before (which was saying something, since we were already extremely close.) But like I said, the foundation of being mutually in love and mutually fully committed to each other was already there to begin with before adding sex into the mix. I don't think it's necessarily like that for every situation but I still believe both men and women should wait until marriage because, among many other reasons, there is too big a risk of potential future baggage otherwise.

januaryphilosopher · 2022-10-10T10:11:54+00:00

Yes, because I did it intentionally, rather than through some random hookup or whatever. We're still together and planning on being each other's last. We think there's something special about having shared both our first times together, but it isn't like it defines our relationship or anything. Neither of us are the type to have sex easily so losing it together is more a reflection of how we've felt about each other than causing it.

Feisty-Saturn · 2022-10-10T03:11:54+00:00

No. I think I stayed with him longer than I should simply because I lost my virginity to him. I look back on him and I can’t believe I wasted so much time with him. I’m very happy I am no longer with him.

_revelationary · 2022-10-10T02:06:17+00:00

Nope. Barely even think of him.

2022-10-10T02:22:33+00:00

Zero lasting feelings, at all.

No, I wouldn’t get back together with him. It was 21 years ago, we’ve both looooong since moved on. I think about him with the same superficial pleasantness you might think of a nice school acquaintance. That is, if I think about him at all, which only happens when I see posts like this.

I don’t think it was harder to break up because he was my first, no.

We ended on weird terms (he fell in love with someone else and ghosted me before that was a common term), but it didn’t change how I thought about men. We were both young and messy and figuring things out, life happens, it sucked at the time but once I got over it, it wasn’t a big deal.

CimZim · 2022-10-10T03:28:07+00:00

If you're still with the guy you lost it to, do you believe losing it to him made your relationship stronger?

37F. I mean, he's still my best friend in addition to the only person I've ever had sex with. 14 years and counting as fwb, I'd say that's a strong friendship/relationship, whichever. I don't believe in pair bonding though, at least not how this sub defines it. It would be weird if humans were the only great apes to form sexual bonds.

Btw, I really dislike the phrase "losing your virginity"...I didn't lose anything, simply I gained experience. Prefer to say I shared my virginity as it's more accurate.

kalashhhhhhhh · 2022-10-10T06:24:59+00:00

I lost my virginity to him a day after Christmas 2017. I broke up with him a few days after New Year's 2022. I got over him by the middle of January. Currently, I have slight feelings of disgust when I think of him, mostly because he gradually started harrassing and threatening me after break up so I had to block him.

I would rather be celibate for the rest of my life than get back with that dude. I didn't feel pair-bonded with him even while we were together. I knew I didn't want to spend my life with him for the last two years of our relationship. Breaking up was too hard, so I rather just maintained status quo, while having a completely separate life that he wasn't a part of.

Him being my first sexual partner didn't make any difference, the worse thing was that he was my only relationship. If I had known the feeling of a happy, loving relationship then, I would have left him much sooner. Also, I was a dumb, immature kid. I never associated sex with love with him. I even felt resentful that he was my only sexual partner.

I wasn't his first, but he's the one who was obssesed after a breakup and couldn't get over it. And no, the breakup wasn't unexpected in any way.

If I pair-bonded with him, I wouldn't feel what I'm currently feeling in a relationship.

croatianstation · 2022-10-10T10:04:32+00:00

Absolutely no feelings, would 100000000000% not get back with him. I took a small break from dating men afterwards, but I definitely wouldn't say I hated them as some of my closest friends were men at the time.

funlightmandarin · 2022-10-10T02:05:21+00:00

No.

No bad feelings, he's a nice dude, but no.

Over_Noise3530 · 2022-10-10T03:01:46+00:00

No. It was 19 years ago

Novadina · 2022-10-10T03:57:01+00:00

Do you have any lasting feelings for the guy you lost it to? Would you get back with him?

Nope. We were dating a few months (not totally sure how long) as teenagers, since then I’ve had longer, real, adult relationships that were way more important to me, and my current 16 year relationship is a whole other level and not even comparable.

I do have fond feelings for my first relationship ever, we didn’t have sex though. It’s more about just being my first love that I can think fondly about, similar to how I feel about my first real friend as a little kid. I wouldn’t get back with him.

Was the break up harder because he was your first?

No, the breakup with someone I loved as an adult for 4 years was way harder than with someone I was dating a few months as a kid.

oh-dearie · 2022-10-10T04:59:30+00:00

Nope, and for context: I ended up dating him for 6 years. The wiser me knows he wasn't good for me, but I couldn't have known at the time. I had enough closure that I don't even think about him, even with the "history" between us.

GlamSunCrybabyMoon · 2022-10-10T05:09:56+00:00

No. It was not the best sex of my life. He also ghosted me immediately after.

RocinanteCoffee · 2022-10-10T05:23:43+00:00

I don't have even one lasting feeling for them.

He did not impact the way I view men in any discernible way save that some of the reasons I parted ways with him I now have as dealbreakers even for people I'm casually dating (no MLMs/crypto and no religions that require tithing). MLMs I didn't know he was into (it was really his parents who were), but when his dad died he got more into the business and tried to get me into it as well.

hungrychick404 · 2022-10-10T05:55:03+00:00

I lost my virginity to the last guy I was in a relationship, so I kind of still miss him sometimes. I think it has a lot more to do with the fact that I dated him for 2 years and miss being in a relationship than the fact that I lost my virginity to him.

2022-10-10T06:13:13+00:00

No. There were never more than platonic feelings to begin with. We weren't dating nor have ever dated.

Katatonicsnake · 2022-10-10T07:12:59+00:00

Do you have any lasting feelings for the guy you lost it to?

Not really. I wish him well.

Would you get back with him?

No. I never dated him because I didn’t want to.

Was the break up harder because he was your first

Why are you assuming there was a break up? I remember deciding that I wouldn’t see him anymore because I got everything I wanted. I had seen many American movies about situations like that, where they eat ice cream and listen to heartbreak music to get something out of their system. I tried that because it felt like the right thing to do. After a couple songs I realised I wasn’t feeling anything and decided to go to my friend’s house.

And if you did not end on good terms, did that negatively affect the way you view men?

Nope. I have never had a bad break up or bad dating experiences.

Lysa_Bell · 2022-10-10T07:34:33+00:00

He was a dick. Because my first time hurt so freaking much I didn't want to do it again so he broke up with me. 🤷 Other than that I don't have any other feelings towards him

thelajestic · 2022-10-10T07:56:36+00:00

Do you have any lasting feelings for the guy you lost it to?

No, it was about 15 years ago.

Would you get back with him?

No. We broke up for good reasons and we weren't compatible partners.

Was the break up harder because he was your first?

No, it was the easiest break up I've had. We got together at 17 and broke up about 20. We didn't live together or have any commitments together that would make a break up difficult, and we were so clearly incompatible that it wasn't really emotionally difficult.

And if you did not end on good terms, did that negatively affect the way you view men? Kind of like how some men hate on women because of negative experiences with them, I would imagine it happens vice versa.

We actually initially ended on fairly good terms, but a few weeks later I got home from a night out and he was drunk on my front steps demanding to be let in, and then texted me abuse for hours when I didn't. It didn't make me view men in general in a negative light but if I did have any little remaining feelings for him that certainly dispersed them.

nemma88 · 2022-10-10T08:27:44+00:00

Do you have any lasting feelings for the guy you lost it to? Would you get back with him? Was the break up harder because he was your first?

No, no & no. It was so long ago I can't remember much about it.

neetykeeno · 2022-10-10T09:26:45+00:00

I don't like him at all now...if I could safely press a delete button to remove him from reality I would. IDK maybe I would still like him if I hadn't married him and tried to make a future with him.

chingness · 2022-10-10T10:28:30+00:00

Yes! I remember him fondly but have no residual feelings for him. The fact he was my first isn’t really part of that, it’s more that he was my first ever boyfriend and we were together for 4 years so he’s a key part of my history and relationship experience. I truly was in love with him but I sadly lost feelings as our lives went in different directions and my attraction to him dwindled.

I don’t believe in pair bonding or “the one” but my love for this man has had no negative impact on my ability to love my partner now.

Overall my point is it’s really not about the sex or the loss of virginity.

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2022-10-10T12:34:28+00:00

Yeah I still had some feelings for him/ habits built with him in the months following the breakup but in the years since? Of course not.

Maybe if sex had ever been mind-blowing for me it would be different, but losing your virginity is usually just a sad, painful affair, not something to look back on with fondness lol.

Diddy_1978 · 2022-10-10T13:01:40+00:00

Nope. No trauma. No drama. Parted ways. Hope he’s fine, I am not gonna chase him or his whereabouts.

AngelxEyez · 2022-10-10T13:30:03+00:00

No. no bad feelings towards him, just haven’t thought of him in years!

virginity is a man-made concept. you don’t feel any different after really. like on your bday does 22 feel different than 23? No. you just know you are a year older.

we lost it to eachother, dated for 1 yr before and 1 after, went separate ways, doubt he ever thinks of me either haha. break up was sad but nothing worse than any other. we ended on fine terms, just he was moving and we were too young for long distance to be reasonable.

I’ve had a few relationships since and am happily in-love with plans for marriage in a couple years.

I actually did take current bfs virginity. (like two years ago now)

ashpr0ulx · 2022-10-10T13:53:47+00:00

no. it was 15 years ago. we have both moved on and live entirely different lives. i’m happy where i am and from as much as i know, he seems happy in his life.

sniffthisplease · 2022-10-10T04:00:39+00:00

Literally haven’t thought about him in years until right now because of this post

LMAO @ trp dudes convincing themselves their shrimp dicks are almighty beings that “ruin” women 🤡

gggvuv7bubuvu · 2022-10-10T02:28:51+00:00

Gross. No.

Ainsleygz · 2022-10-10T03:12:22+00:00

No I used him to get it over with so I could fuck other dudes lol (and no we were not dating or even remotely committal)

GloryToChadlantis · 2022-10-10T08:46:28+00:00

I have feelings for the girl I lost mine to.

Disappointment.

Ten years after we split. She became poly. She could be with whomever she wanted yet her husband could not. She believes in magic. Radical feminist. Believes women are superior to men and that men are just worker ants. Has 5 children and 3 different baby daddies. The husband is dad to two.

She became her mother. A woman who railroaded her weak father.

Her mother hated me due to my disdain for authority.

In her mind. A dominate male was evil and against her wiccan magic coven shit.

Worst part was, I was weak back then. Me complaining about people was her idea of a dominant male.

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2022-10-10T05:43:29+00:00

No, he was an ESFP playa in and out of my life that I had to get rid of voluntarily.

fakingandnotmakingit · 2022-10-10T07:01:45+00:00

Nope.

Your dick ain't that special mate

TermAggravating8043 · 2022-10-10T09:20:48+00:00

Probably a little bit of resentment feeling.

We were together for 6 months before doing the deed and were together for about a year after that, I had hoped at one point we would get married but he starting cheating on me with a girl at his work.

Looking back on our relationship, he had fallen out of love with me for a while and had started treating me like shit, he was obviously trying to push me into dumping him so he wasn’t the bad guy, but stared cheating meantime.

There’s resentment cause I knew he liked me for a long time before we got together and i was never been sure about him so I gave him a chance. He should have just grown a pair and dumped me when he stopped loving me instead of stringing me along.

lovelythecove · 2022-10-10T13:52:27+00:00

No lasting feelings. We didn’t end on bad terms, and the break up was pretty straightforward because I was in high school and moved. It’s not like we were going to do long distance at 15/16 across an ocean. I wouldn’t get back with him, I don’t even know him anymore. I very very periodically think of him (pretty much only when I hear someone with his uncommon name or his brother’s uncommon name), in the same way I occasionally think of anyone I knew a long time ago. It’s a passing thought, a moment of recognition, and then my mind moves on. Never reminisced on the sex or relationship. If he had a more common name, I’m not sure I’d ever think of him to be honest. It really didn’t have much of an impact on me at all. It was awkward, not very intimate, and we obviously had no real idea how to have sex. It didn’t impact my ‘ability to bond’ or whatever. None of the sex I have ever had did that. It’s a weird insecure myth some men tell themselves. The only way I could remotely see sex impacting bonding, would be someone that has had hundreds of partners maybe. (Although really, it’s probably the reverse: someone with an impaired ability to bond is more likely to sleep around, not that sleeping around causes an impaired ability to bond.)

AstronautLoveShack · 2022-10-10T14:04:41+00:00

I met him in 6th grade and he is one of my oldest and dearest friends, but he is also an obese child-free right leaning libertarian church goer now so it absolutely would never have worked out between us.

insensitiveTwot · 2022-10-10T14:33:49+00:00

Do you have any feelings for the guy you lost it to?

No, I don’t hate him or anything but I don’t pine for him either. Just another high school memory

Would you get back with him?

No. He’s got like, at least three kids now and tried to hit on me while he was/is with his baby mama.

Was the breakup harder because he was your first?

No, it was actually one of the driving factors behind breaking up with him. I was curious about what else was out there.

YaKnowEstacado · 2022-10-10T14:59:52+00:00

Do you have any lasting feelings for the guy you lost it to?

None whatsoever.

Would you get back with him?

Absolutely not.

Was the break up harder because he was your first?

It was hard, but I don't think that's why. I can't really compare though because that's the only breakup I've initiated.

And if you did not end on good terms, did that negatively affect the way you view men?

No, it negatively affected the way I viewed that particular man.

Qhoul424 · 2022-10-10T17:48:11+00:00

I lost my virginity to my ex husband who I will always love more than anyone in the entire world.

Barneysparky · 2022-10-10T02:01:49+00:00

Disgust?

SmilesLikeMardiGras · 2022-10-10T02:08:51+00:00

I didnt remember him days later

andipandey · 2022-10-10T02:01:51+00:00

Lmao no. Not even the slightest feelings left for him, I think this is the first time I’ve thought of him in actual years (and we dated for 2 years before I lost my virginity to him). Feelings change and people grow up and move on

MicrospathodonChrys · 2022-10-10T02:39:44+00:00

My lasting feeling is revulsion. I do think it made it harder to leave what was ultimately a horrible relationship, because I’d waited a long time to lose it and had hoped to only be with one man ever (for religious/moral reasons that i no longer align with).

It didn’t change how i feel about men. He sucked, but he’s abnormal. I love my current partner more than i ever thought possible.

crumblesnatch · 2022-10-10T03:49:02+00:00

Do you have any lasting feelings for the guy you lost it to?

Nah. I remember him fondly if something reminds me, but I don't think about him otherwise.

I'm grateful that my first experience was with someone who I could laugh with about how was awkward and silly it was. A lot of people aren't so lucky.

Would you get back with him?

No, we broke up for good reasons on good terms.

Was the break up harder because he was your first?

Nope. We'd been friends since middle school and mutually agreed to go back to being friends, no drama at all. We had a regular group D&D night and asked the DM to think of an in-universe reason for our characters to break up as well, so my rogue opened a cursed jar and was polymorphed into a chicken permanently. Playing a pickpocketing attack chicken is the most fun I've had playing D&D, that campaign was gold lmao.

I really liked his girlfriend after me as well. She was a total sweetheart and a way better match for him.

FancyCocktailOlive · 2022-10-10T02:04:34+00:00

Uh…no. It was such an awkward experience I try not to think about it.

Besides, men pair bond with hundreds of thousands of porn stars, the brain doesn’t see masturbating to porn any different than having real sex so it’s actually men who are the ones incapable of pair bonding.

Why would I bother getting attached to a man who is just going to cheat on me with porn?

SeveralSadEvenings · 2022-10-10T03:33:39+00:00

No. He's an alright dude and we had a good time, but he was just a means to an end. We didn't love each other, we were just horny teenagers that had no supervision the summer between junior and senior year.

By the time school came around we both moved on and found new relationships.

I hope he's had a good life but that's the extent of me thinking about him.

mikowoah · 2022-10-10T05:58:35+00:00

lol only ever remember he exists because he’s a friend of a friend and i have seen him a few times since. i wanted to get it over with and he was there and willing. wasn’t messy or significant for either of us.

NakedStreets · 2022-10-10T03:37:52+00:00

Nope.

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twizz6992 · 2022-10-10T03:02:04+00:00

I've actually felt some guilt after having sex with a girl that was apparently really into me. I thought it was just a random drunk high school hook up, years later I found out that I was her first and she was really torn up about it. I wanted to reach out to her but she has no social media presence. It just became one of those innocuous experiences in life that didn't really mean much to anyone in the long term. Yet it still bothers me from time to time while I'm just laying down trying to sleep, it's one of those memories that will keep me awake just thinking about it.

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2022-10-10T06:34:07+00:00

No but I did for about 5 years after

I wouldn’t recognise him if I walked past him now, it was 26 years ago

2022-10-10T06:51:54+00:00

lady_ven0m · 2022-10-10T14:28:15+00:00

Not even a little. We weren’t even dating, and I had no intention of waiting for a relationship for my first time.

Gilmoregirlin · 2022-10-10T14:59:48+00:00

My high school boyfriend? Nope but I am now in my 40s it's been a long time. We do keep in touch, I have met his wife and kids. But the reason I think for that is because I was so close to his family and we went through a really tough time together (his Mom died our senior year). I don't regret it, it was in a loving relationship and I am happy it went down the way it did. Would I get back with him ? No. I think first heartbreaks suck even if sex is not involved it's more of a product of you not knowing if you will get through it or not, but once you do you realize that the future ones are not that bad. We ended on good terms and I do think it effected the way I viewed men, but not in a negative way. My high school and college boyfriends were both amazing men and they showed me how a man should treat a woman in a relationship. Because of that experience I have always had high standards for how men should treat me in a relationship and I understood what a healthy relationship was, many women don't. But do I think having sex bonds a woman to a man more? Sex no, orgasm yes and that's scientifically documented.

Alive_Time · 2022-10-10T15:44:24+00:00

Queue the "bonding hormones are a myth" comments.

The amount varies but they do exist and during release some develop stronger bonds than others. One could have a lasting bond and for others it's "just sex". Both may be speaking the truth as we don't all release the same amount of bonding hormones during sex.

If a man or woman has a low release of bonding hormones don't expect a strong or long lasting monogomous relationship.

2022-10-10T16:51:39+00:00

i think hes a predator loser

Title	Do you have any lasting feelings for the guy you lost your virginity to?
Author	Ok-Limes-5094
Upvotes	9
Comments	107
Date	October 10, 2022 1:57 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/y02ipd/do_you_have_any_lasting_feelings_for_the_guy_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-you-have-any-lasting-feelings-for-the-guy-you.1134398 https://theredarchive.com/post/1134398

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