Could we stop telling men and women "this is what you like"? Even some women on TikTok find it obnoxious.

Examples: https://www.tiktok.com/@happinessnwrath/video/7156023122821418283

https://www.tiktok.com/@princeofaries/video/7169085240013737262

https://www.tiktok.com/@kaycharisse/video/7159623121526361387

Look, is the female gaze a thing? Yeah. It's not all about muscles and being 6'5".

But people...if you're gonna talk about the female gaze, please use someone who isn't tall, white, fit, lean, and famous. I beg you. It does not help your case whatsoever.

The fact that you find Henry Caville more attractive when he's vulnerable, silly, and nerdy does say something, but it just does not say much. It's like, cool, you like guys who are hot but also kind and nerdy. So like...what about the not-so-hot guys who are kind nerdy?

Most of us don't look anything like Henry Caville. I'm 5'6", brown-ish, have a mildly crooked jaw, and I could stand to lose 30 lbs. Am I ugly? No, I look fine. But I'm practically another species. Would I look better if I looked fitter, got regular haircuts, wore nice clothes, etc? Yes. Like...yeah. Hands down.

There's a reason a common answer for guys is "hit the gym." Because most of us don't look all that great. Have you ever been to a Wal-Mart? That's what your average Joe and Jane look like.

I'm not trying to look like a Gears of War character. I do not give a shit about looking as big and jacked as possible. But I want a respectable physique, where I can look in the mirror and be like "damn I look good" which I genuinely feel sometimes now. And would women appreciate that too? I'm almost certain.

Again, not saying personality doesn't matter. I have a lot to improve in that realm, but another benefit of the gym is just overall confidence.

That said, do women appreciate personality more than guys might realize? Probably, yeah. I've realized that women care a lot about how you make them feel, the vibe you give off. But also, it's pretty clear IMO that even surface-level things like height can affect your vibe. Like, would you feel exactly the same standing next to a 5'4" dude vs a 6'5" dude?

Bit of a rant, but thanks for reading.

TL;DR Read the first sentence of every paragraph.