Just saw a post about a woman who is trying to compliment more men in her life with overwhelming positive feedback, 3 gold and over 5k upvotes get removed for, what I can only assume the reason was, challenging the sub’s anti man goals.

rainman206 · 2018-05-16T13:21:39+00:00

One of the comments removed by moderators:

When I was in High School, touring the campus of UCA in Arkansas, a gay guy told me that blue was totally my color and that he lived my shirt.

I have so many blue shirts now.

Chewiemuse · 2018-05-16T17:05:32+00:00

Holy shit they just became self aware

Oh, this made me realize a possible reason why some dudes think that catcalling strangers is cool, with the excuse "it's just compliments". These guys are really starving for compliments and are thinking that random strangers giving compliments is the only way to get them. Since they would really love getting compliments from strangers they assume that others would obviously feel the same.

Also going through "Undelete" looks like the mods mostly targeted men sharing their experiences of receiving compliments and that yes its true it feels great and that they normally dont get them

doklaan · 2018-05-16T15:08:38+00:00

One night in college I was in a bar and as I walked out of the restroom, a girl grabbed my butt and then high fived her friend. I felt like a king. Then I watched them and realized they were doing it to every guy that walked out of the bathroom. Don’t care, it was still one of my greatest nights ever. I’m 45 now.

Holly shit, I'm 47 and that happen to me at High School, so I did it right back to the girl a few days later. I eventually married her.

If it happened today I'd probably be in jail.

How times have changed.

nisutapasion · 2018-05-16T12:50:12+00:00

In which sub was it?

R3DLOTU5 · 2018-05-16T13:23:03+00:00

The number of censored comments is astounding, makes me wonder what they were saying.

But i will admit, im married and other than my wife (more recently calling me handsome) i cant recall ever getting any compliments.

^Though ⁱ ^do ^recall ^many ^females ^always ^telling ^me ^that ^my ^brother ^has ^the ^most ^beautiful ^eyes.

Neko404 · 2018-05-16T16:40:20+00:00

And feminists wonder why guys sometimes get confused and think a woman likes them after complimenting them. We just don’t get that many, especially from random people. I can’t tell you how elated I got when a person at work took notice of my weight loss and complimented me for it.

Pyromed · 2018-05-16T17:37:00+00:00

IT GOT REMOVED!!!????

That really brightened my day earlier. Even though I've been banned from there for a while now I'm still subscribed, mostly to eye roll at their stupidity and occasionally see real issues some women face. But this was just really nice. Completely harmless in my opinion and a life affirming post.

Its not even like the comments disagreed with her. Maybe I missed it but there wasn't even any stupid trying to justify it like saying..."Well men earn more so they don't need compliments"

Edit: The number of thank you posts you see about "The Woman who helped me today" and they can't even have one post about how you should be nice to men.

Arrow218 · 2018-05-16T13:37:30+00:00

[permanently deleted]

azazelcrowley · 2018-05-16T17:22:36+00:00

Two-x mods are worse than the sub itself. Notably the post explicitly said it made her feel empowered as a woman to make men happier and she framed it in terms of it being positive for womens wellbeing and life satisfaction and such to view things more this way.

Naturally the gynocentric mods removed it, they're spiteful people who can only feel empowered by being cruel and using feminist rhetoric and abusive treatment of others. Positively influencing your surroundings to feel empowered? Goes against everything they stand for, and their destructive and negative framework.

2018-05-16T13:18:01+00:00

Honestly, it really is nice to receive compliments fro. Time to time. I recently just started doing my hair differently, I've never had medium length hair and decided I'd keep it for a while and see how it went. As part of that, I started putting gel in it to slick it back. So ive made two fairly big changes in my appearance that ive never had before and I hadn't received any input on it, except for one of the older guys where I work very occasionally makes a comment referencing somebody that has/had the same look at one point. Being a Male to make interaction I understood that he was just joking so I dont take it to heart. However my boss's wife stopped in yesterday, first time I've interacted with her in a while, and one of the first things she did was say how nice my hair was. That it was a nice change. Idk how genuine it was, but just being told that, really turned my day around. Idk. Sorry to make you read all that, if you did haha

BroaxXx · 2018-05-16T19:02:28+00:00

I assume it's /r/TwoXChromosomes.... That sub is beyond cancerous. They could simply redirect the definition of "misandry" directly there and spare the dictionary editor some time coming up with definitions...

Melchiah_III · 2018-05-16T17:12:12+00:00

Because, apparently complimenting a man is “stroking his ego” but complimenting a woman is “giving her due”.

bastion72 · 2018-05-16T13:32:48+00:00

It wasn't until I was 16 and my step mom told me I was good looking that I ever though of myself anything but below average.

Humble brag: Although I do have long eye lashes and get compliments on my eyes.

Meyright · 2018-05-16T17:15:41+00:00

I really loved that post, it had such a wholesome spirit. There is no reason it got deleted but bitterness

Generous_lions · 2018-05-16T17:28:46+00:00

When I was 16, my friends mom told me I had actually become "hot" after gaining a bunch of weight around puberty.

Despite the fact this is obviously inappropriate, I still think about it because it's one of the only times I have ever been complimented by a girl who wasn't dating me.

MasonTaylor22 · 2018-05-16T19:15:09+00:00

That subreddit feels so toxic and disinterested in anything positive related to men.

Goatsac · 2018-05-16T18:29:10+00:00

https://www.ceddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/8jrv3a/may_be_the_wrong_sub_but_i_like_to_go_out_of_my

https://www.removeddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/8jrv3a/may_be_the_wrong_sub_but_i_like_to_go_out_of_my

Guess it was the wrong subreddit.

viper12a1a · 2018-05-16T22:55:15+00:00

I hadn't really thought about it until now, but I've never been complimented and it kinda hurts.

llucas_o · 2018-05-16T19:45:58+00:00

I literally saw that and thought, "hey that's pretty cool, maybe this sub is alright." I subscribed to them, and now I spose I have to reconsider that. :/ really a shame that it was removed, I honestly can't think of a justification.

Syngin9 · 2018-05-16T17:57:03+00:00

NSFB? Not Safe for Brand? What does that mean?

Nergaal · 2018-05-16T19:33:06+00:00

Link?

thetarget3 · 2018-05-16T20:03:47+00:00

What was the stated reason for removing it?

2018-05-16T20:37:47+00:00

The real question is why is this a big deal to feminista? I feel like feminists don't have a set agenda for what they actually want accomplished, they just get offended when the mood strikes.

Mechanik_J · 2018-05-16T23:27:14+00:00

Let me tell you a secret about trollxC... I bet you some of the mods are just some dudes pretending to be girls. The troll is getting innocent women to start hating men, and for men to get upset with what's being said there.

If you take a step back, the trolling on that subreddit is grade A++ and a half.

Matt-ayo · 2018-05-16T23:43:23+00:00

In which sub are you referring?

Matt-ayo · 2018-05-16T23:47:01+00:00

That sub is so far up their own ass with ideology.

hashtagwindbag · 2018-05-16T23:55:33+00:00

I genuinely can not accept a compliment in any way. I will instinctively ignore the compliment or turn it into self-deprecation. How does one even accept a compliment?

Saying "thank you" seems weird and dismissive. But going more in-depth just seems egotistical. And asking for clarification would be considered fishing for more compliments. I don't know what to do.

tibbymat · 2018-05-17T00:08:49+00:00

That sub is toxic and I have no time for anyone subbed to it. I’m sure some of them may be good people but I assume bad things off the batt.

BrocanGawd · 2018-05-17T02:18:56+00:00

Do you have a link to the deleted post? Can use removeddit to read it.

Gambizzle · 2018-05-17T00:45:12+00:00

It’s a point... maybe feminists will find that men treat them better when they are not constantly attacking them? IMO a lot of conflict starts with both sides being unwilling to respect the work of each other. For example... wife looks after the kids while husband mows the lawn, trims the hedges, fixes the computer and screws together some new furniture. To then say ‘YOU DO NOTHING!!! YOU NEVER LOOK AFTER THE KIDS!!! WOMEN GET RIPPED OFF EVERY TIME!!!’ might come across as being disrespectful towards a guy who already respects the work his wife’s put in (so doesn’t get all calculative about who has done more/less and how much $$$ the work they do at home is worth).

IMO mutual respect and complimenting each other is important in any relationship... be it at work or at home. It is amazing how far a simple ‘thank you’ or ‘nice job’ will go.

bluewing · 2018-05-16T23:31:19+00:00

I read parts of that thread. I wonder if anyone told her that saying things like that can be sexual harassment. At least if some strange man does it.

montylemon · 2018-05-17T00:03:45+00:00

Fuck it lets make one here

matrix2002 · 2018-05-17T03:02:25+00:00

Yeah, mods can be really dumb.

I am sort of mixed on the compliment thing. People compliment girls all the time and it's so fake a lot of the time. I don't want people to compliment me because they feel like they need to. They should do it because it's honest.

Making a point to say something nice to someone is like faking an orgasm.

The intent is good, but it's kind of manipulative.

FactCheckMate · 2018-05-17T06:19:22+00:00

This is tragic to hear. :/ I love that guys like random compliments. I never thought how rare that is. But I'm not sure what they'd think about catcalls though... There's a pretty big difference. I have a beautiful (inside out) friend who lives her life complimenting strangers/trying to make people smile. But, she does it with a difference that only became clear when I tried to do the same. Complimenting is genuine and generous. You don't expect attention and your focus is on what the other person feels. So often my friend would compliment aspects the person chose in their appearance - their hairstyle, dress, jersey, shoes, smile. But always also in a way the person could see the honesty and smile on her face. If they were unsure she'd act silly too or apologise awkwardly so they'd feel better. I tried complimenting a woman on her really cool shirt. Totally fudged it. Ended up saying it to her back instead of face. Wasn't a good time for her either, quickly exiting a noisy bar. Could see how she just heard it as some random noise directed at her back. That's when I learnt what a catcall was. It was more about me noticing something and saying that I'd noticed it and having my appreciation noticed than it was actually trying to compliment the woman on her taste. If you can't connect with the person you're complimenting in a meaningful and unselfish way, it's a catcall. If you gift a compliment it shouldn't expect anything back and is considerate of how the receiver feels (who might be busy, upset, or just awkward). This is why honking, calls from cars or bikes, 'compliments' about the way they appear to you rather than their taste are all more about you getting attention and so feel fake. I dunno. This was my experience. I tried complimenting and catcalled accidentally instead. Felt too weird/wrong for me. Now unless I know the person or have the opportunity to make a connection where they can understand I don't want anything from them I recognize my actions as just some stranger demanding attention/intruding on another human being busy living their own life. Will try to compliment (not catcall) more guys now though having read this. :)

Odysseus_is_Ulysses · 2018-05-16T16:13:20+00:00

I appreciate her sentiment, but in the spirit of staying true to equality as a principle and remaining objective, I'd point out that it's technically a bit sexist to explicitly favour one gender in this fashion. I'd be a little irritated if a woman made a post about how she especially likes to complement other women.

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