Uncomfortable Red Pill Facts, yes from multiple studies, For Women. Ladies please explain!

MyLastBestChance · 2023-12-30T21:11:06+00:00

Please link these multiple studies.

fakingandnotmakingit · 2023-12-30T19:33:28+00:00

I don't know how to articulate this but.. You know how women sometimes say "he's cuter in person?" or "he's so attractive once you get to know him?"

Yeah. I fully believe that women's sexualities are visual but are activated by more than just visual traits. So showing then a bunch of photos is well... Not that great of a strategy

Safinated · 2023-12-30T19:30:21+00:00

I’m pretty sure mainstream society is aware that men are thirsty and indiscriminate and women are picky and not thirsty

EulenWatcher · 2023-12-30T19:28:41+00:00

I’ve never used dating apps so I can comment only as a bystander with no personal experience.

I think there was stats showing that although women rate most men as average/below average they also match with a wide range of them. They do not match only with the top attractiveness men.
A lot of dating profiles are just terrible. I’ve seen women trying out Tinder in Russia and maybe it’s a Russian thing, but it seems that a lot of profiles are empty, photos are obscure or just bad, some men 100% try to hide their identity or they lie about their age, there are some stupid jokes or lines in profiles showing one’s hostility etc.
Someone has posted statistics showing that a good share of apps users aren’t single. They use these apps for validation but not to get dates.
There are far more men than women in these apps so women are bombarded with swipes and DMs. It makes them pickier than they’re in real life.
Picture-based swipe apps encourage people to make fast decision based mostly on one’s profile pic. It doesn’t give much space for thoughtful search.

Generally it seems that dating apps are a bad deal for most people.

mackenzie013_02 · 2023-12-30T23:26:29+00:00

For me all of below were automatic swipe left: - no bio - dead animals, cars in pics - smoking, conservative, religious - has children - only looking for casual (or “not sure”) - shirtless pics, only group photos, pics with many half naked women, only pics where I can’t see face or body

That filtered out 80% of profiles. Out of the 20% I probably found 50% attractive and swiped right.

Meanwhile many men admit they swipe right in every profile and filter out later.

ConanTheCybrarian · 2023-12-30T21:10:24+00:00

in order to have a level headed logical discussion, we'd need to be able to view the same data you are.

Let us know when you have sources.

velvetalocasia · 2023-12-30T19:50:02+00:00

So you are going to give us some studies or not?

AngeCruelle · 2023-12-30T20:31:14+00:00

Because there's a crazy place called real life where the majority of women with reasonable expectations are capable of finding men

uglysaladisugly · 2023-12-30T23:11:26+00:00

Because we care about vibe, about getting along, about having things in common, etc. All these things are difficult to see on tinder, so we swipe on very little men. There is a lot of very very handsome men that I don't swipe right to just because they don't have a vibe I relate to.

meangingersnap · 2023-12-30T22:21:47+00:00

Who says they're swiping on the same 5%? Considering the fact there's more men than women on the apps 5% of men could be about the same # of right swipes as men, just proportionally fewer due to the ratio
That same study showed that women were more likely to talk to men who were seen as less attractive, whereas the majority of men were messaging only the most attractive women. Surely this shows that men are more shallow despite being desparate and casting a wide net to try to get what he can. This is not some situation where men have the moral high ground. Perhaps you should fully read the studies you reference instead of misrepresenting them?

penndelnj · 2023-12-30T20:09:39+00:00

Because dating apps are awful and women don’t usually pick based off looks. Do you need this spelled out for you more? There’s a reason you need help from TRP.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2023-12-30T19:27:55+00:00

4-6% seems high to me, i made a dummy tinder account in my old city just to see what was there and i didnt see one swipable man

Sharp_Engineering379 · 2023-12-30T20:33:28+00:00

Men are indiscriminate by nature. Women discriminate by nature.

Sperm is cheap and abundant. Fathers can abandon their young and often do.

Ova are rare and precious, and require a lifetime investment when fertilized.

captainhowdy82 · 2023-12-30T19:57:42+00:00

Dating app data is fundamentally flawed. Your sample is biased because it only selects people who use dating apps, which is only like 30% of people. You cannot externalize or generalize the results. #geteducated

operation-spot · 2023-12-30T20:24:46+00:00

I think it’s important to note that women don’t even see every profile based on their filters, time spent on app, and how much actually gets shown to them. You don’t know who is seeing what profiles so I’m not sure how you can say that “ugly” women are seeing the same profiles. A lot of guy’s profiles are ugly because their photos are terrible. Women are encouraged to take photos of themselves and have been doing so since they had access to a phone meaning men are behind the curve when it comes to taking pictures of themselves.

Deciding not to swipe on someone doesn’t mean they’re objectively unattractive, it just means you don’t like their particular beauty in a sexual way.

Men swipe on everyone so I don’t think they should be used as someone sort of baseline. Maybe the folks who believe eastern women are fundamentally different should show that they swipe on more men compared to western women.

SlothMonster9 · 2023-12-30T23:08:42+00:00

If men had hundreds of options each day every day on dating apps, they too would be choosing only the top 4-6% of women: hot slim 18-23 year olds with big boobs. Don't even deny it.

basedmama21 · 2023-12-30T21:35:28+00:00

First of all, women who are even ON apps are not as hot on the market as they think they are. If I were a man, I would see that as a red flag. I’m 31 and I met my husband without any apps through jiu jitsu

Anyway, the average woman has her ass kissed by her friends and society and she is told she deserves way more than she actually does. If she could attract the handsome, rich man she feels entitled to…she would not be on a damn app.

Objective_Ad_6265 · 2023-12-30T22:53:47+00:00

They don't swip on most attractive men but most attractive profiles. Most of men can't even decently fill the profile, take decent photos. Even if you are in fact attractive bout you have just trashy photos you don't look attractive on the photos. Most men don't decently fill it, don't write some nice text.

Yes, the statistic is true. But it's not about actual attractivnes, it about trashy profiles most men have.

And men just swipe on what they would stick it in. Women actually lokk at the profile, read the text, evaluate if that could be future husband...

TidyMess123 · 2023-12-30T22:39:44+00:00

Münecat does an thorough and excellent deep dive into this on this in one of her videos, and I highly recommend that you take a watch - the section starting at 37:42 “debunking the dating apps ‘evidence’ for hypergamy. Anything I would say would just be a less thorough breakdown of what she has put together, so I recommend giving it a watch here: https://youtu.be/BgO25FTwfRI?si=7I2nFDZxxV_vTQNG

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nemma88 · 2023-12-30T22:32:18+00:00

Why would they swipe on more men? How many do you think we need?

Scared-Tea-8911 · 2023-12-31T02:09:23+00:00

Some thoughts (from a fellow reddish pill woman):

When I was online dating a while back, I noticed that most guys are not into editing their photos, retouching anything, or putting effort into their profiles. There is a stereotypical picture with a fish, or picture with a motorcycle, or picture with a dead deer, or picture at a football game, and then maybe a half-assed selfie in the bathroom. These things are not attractive or advertising the lifestyle/desires most women want. Crappy profiles are a killer. Many profiles are VERY low-effort.
Most single guys are somewhere on the apps. Many single women just are not. They are either dating in person, or are more comfortable with singleness and not actively dating. The ratios on the apps heavily favor women being selective… and the number of female bots is very high. Men have a lot more glossy and put together female bot profiles to wade through… women have to deal with 99% “real” men.
Many men (and many people of all genders, men and women!) put red flags in their profiles, intentionally or not. Most men just swipe on images and don’t bother reading the profiles. Many more women actually thoroughly look at the profile and do a bit more in-depth scrub. Having some cute pictures but a poorly written or incomplete profile is fine for women (because most men are just swiping for volume and not being selective) but many men weed themselves out with low effort or red-flag-y written sections.
There is a degree of secrecy to many mens profiles and behavior - and this shiftiness comes across as very unsafe to most women. Many men in the apps actually already have a primary relationship (a wife or girlfriend they are cheating on) and are intentionally vague/obscure in their images or bios. It’s hard to gauge if Mark from Accounting is just going behind his wife’s back, or if he’s going to cut off your toes and bury you under the patio…. There is a safety component for women that can be a hard line for many men to walk - how to look safe/approachable, but not beta/dweeby.
Finally - men and women are looking for different things on apps. Most men are looking for a hookup/casual. Most women are looking for a relationship. The 75% of women looking for a relationship are hitting the 25% of men looking for a relationship, and the 75% of men looking to hook up are flooding the 25% of women wanting a hookup! And when the ratios are heavily male… it’s easy to do the math and get to the 90% of women swiping on 10% of guys. Even in RP theory we acknowledge that a woman’s “body count” is very important for future long term prospects… so it makes sense for women to be vastly more selective. They have more to lose.

I think it’s a really interesting question… online dating overall is a bit of a cesspool, and friends/family in that phase of life have mostly exited that market. They are trying things like Pear, or IRL speeddating/meetups etc. because you get a much better sense of chemistry vs talking online. Going to an in person meet up also takes some commitment from all parties involved… so it’s already a good showing of effort/seriousness by these women dating for LTR’s.

MistyMaisel · 2023-12-31T03:19:14+00:00

Honestly, I think most women express that their attraction is not based on static object oriented visual lust.

So it's pretty obvious that just a picture of most men on planet earth would not provoke a swipe because, I dunno, it's just now how our brains register what is attractive or interesting. It's like the difference between a picture of a cute cat and a video of it. The picture is fine, it's cute, but it doesn't as often provoke a genuine, "SQUEEEE". But a good video of a cute cat, works every single time.

Kind of the same thing for men really. I'm often very attracted to how men animate their bodies, move, act, react, exist, and like you know flesh and blood in person stuff. Especially that in person to person interaction. It carries the intimacy and personal note, where as just looking at a picture is cold and clinical and not at all an intimate experience. It's more like shopping for a boyfriend on amazon. There's just nothing hot about it or romantic.

And also, I mean....personality really is a big deal. We aren't lying about that.

relish5k · 2023-12-31T15:20:14+00:00

Women’s attraction isn’t flat. Based on a photo only very few men will pass muster. In person is a whole different ball game.

But the key element is that reproductive asymmetry has ripple effects through dating and attraction. Men swipe on everything because biology makes them desperate and horny. Women are less horny and as such can be choosier. The difference in horniness is a result of the different levels of investment each sex puts into reproduction, and the difference in their fertility windows (men are almost always fertile, women are fertile for a few days a month)

Mentathiel · 2023-12-31T16:10:21+00:00

Because those apps foster an environment like that.

First of all, there are way more men than women on there. That automatically skews things compared to the real world and makes women more choosy. If they can easily get a 100 matches in a couple of days, they don't have the time to get to know all of them and then decide. So they need to filter out more of them before even getting to talk. So they become more picky about your profiles.

Then, on top of that, tinder at least is very visual-oriented and a lot of men don't put much other stuff on their profile. That forces women to judge them solely based on appearance. They may not value appearance near as much in real life, but on the app it's the only or main thing they have to go by, making them more judgemental on appearance. This is exacerbated by the fact that they have to filter out more men for reasons in previous paragraph, so they pick only top of the top.

I'm unfortunately too lazy to look up more realistic studies of women rating men and their arousal being measured or something in an experimental setting, but that would be much more reliable than an artificial environment with an exaggerated sense of scarcity of women.

Ok-Process-9795 · 2024-01-02T19:25:00+00:00

Feminist are not the monolith people on here like to make us out to be either. There are many different schools of thought, and cherry picking examples to fit an argument is a common tactic used against us.

Women are pickier because we are sexually repressed. We're shamed for our sexual desires in the same way men are shamed for having normal human emotions.

I honestly don't see how you can miss this. Just like men often feel superior for not crying when you need to and getting agitated when we do it because you're not allowed to cry, we do the same thing around sex. If I am willing to go without sex, I can have unilateral control over sex in my relationships, and avoid being called a slut. Neither of us are happy, but I win.

Title	Uncomfortable Red Pill Facts, yes from multiple studies, For Women. Ladies please explain!
Author	Reasonable-Cookie783
Upvotes	11
Comments	231
Date	December 30, 2023 7:20 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/18unbbg/uncomfortable_red_pill_facts_yes_from_multiple/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/uncomfortable-red-pill-facts-yes-from-multiple.1241921 https://theredarchive.com/post/1241921

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