50/50 relationship are one sided benefiting only men

bzl33 · 2024-03-10T18:43:58+00:00

The idea of a 50/50 relationship has to do with splitting responsibilities 50/50, not the % of women the average male Hinge/Tinder user swipes right on.

Friedrich_Friedson · 2024-03-10T18:42:40+00:00

Impressive

Every single word you said was wrong

PixelizedPlayer · 2024-03-10T18:56:36+00:00

now the average man wants to split everything in half.

Uh what? It was not men that pushed the equality narrative. You want equality so you got equality. If you don't want equality, quit your jobs and men will provide. Why would men pay for everything if you earn just as much as him or in some cases even more than him in 2024?

Women arent attracted to most men

Theyre attracted to most women

Who's faults that then ? Consider being less shallow and stop daydreaming for unrealistic looking men from movies and famous men on social media who also likely fake their appearance and get a real perspective of what average men look like so your brain resets what it finds attractive.

If men were not on average physically attractive enough they would've evolved to be more so over the last 10s of thousands of years. So men clearly meet the threshold needed for humans to breed and survive.

In a relationship a man will naturally have his desire for romantic love and sex fulfilled.

Women are the least romantic, its men that typically plan dates, take their girl on romantic trips, buy flowers and do romantic gestures what are you talking about ?

Almost nothing you said was accurate.

ShakeNBake007 · 2024-03-10T20:43:41+00:00

This post was just a very elaborate way of saying I support prostitution. If you're dating someone you're not attracted to. Why do you feel entitled to compensation for a situation you chose to be in? If this is just a simple transaction of sex for money cause the man is good for nothing else. Do you expect him to not provide for other women as well? Do you even enjoy the companionship of men? Why not just be alone or date women if this is the case? It's coming off as your solution for male loneliness is for them to buy women. As if women are just objects. I'm more worried about you than these lonely men if this is how you view the world.

EulenWatcher · 2024-03-10T18:47:41+00:00

Don't date men you aren't attracted to, case closed.

izoldetales · 2024-03-10T23:11:50+00:00

Women :" men are shallow and only see women as holes "

Also women :" 80% of men are unattractive to us "

Champagne_george99 · 2024-03-10T18:45:41+00:00

they’re attracted to most women.

As long as she is under 35, not overweight which already disqualifies most women. Aside from other things like being childless or not being divorced and stuff like that. So no, most men are not attracted to most women.

EmbarrassedClient283 · 2024-03-10T19:30:19+00:00

Women will not be attracted regardless you can't buy your way into attraction

izoldetales · 2024-03-10T23:04:24+00:00

She's joking right?

SamuraiGoblin · 2024-03-10T23:41:49+00:00

"Give me the biggest portion of the cake because I want it and I'm better than you."

You seem to be arguing for traditionalism. Women have inherent biological value because of their wombs, men literally can't give their sperm away.

In traditional relationships where men paid for everything, women had qualities/expectations that men worked hard to attain the privilege of marrying. But in modern society, that dynamic isn't valid any more.

Society can either have a traditional system OR a modern one. You seem to want have the best of both worlds for women, and the worst of both worlds for men. You want men to pay a high price for a low quality relationship. Why would they?

Mr_Chad_Thunderpenis · 2024-03-11T02:25:14+00:00

You make two false assumptions here: a)you assume that men sexually and romantically desire a model and a plain looking woman equally the same, and b)that men aren't picky when it comes to physical attractiveness when they have to invest time and resources.

Men will fuck almost anything IF it requires little to no effort on their part. But make no mistake here, for relationships/marriage they'll gravitate towards the hottest woman they can get and will usually leverage their status/money to get her, if they have any of course.

Hot-Law2682 · 2024-03-10T19:33:10+00:00

Posts like these are premised on unfalsifiable statements.

Even if I show data where way more than 20% of men have consistent sexual activity and relationships you can always say "well those women weren't actually attracted to them".

Even if I point out how the okcupid study is a poor indicator of behavior because attraction often develops beyond initial impressions you can always say "well women who say their attraction grew over time are just lying to make men feel better".

Radiant_Specific6542 · 2024-03-10T20:09:37+00:00

You're blantly ignoring that 50/50 men aren't receiving what a traditional provider use to receive (e.g. Greater level of respect, a virgin, someone to take care of the house, a more feminine woman...ect). Let's take a step back for a second.

Your argument doesn't have a leg to stand on. You directly stated in a traditional framework, men offered less value, and compensated by being providers. This is false.

My advice to you, lay of all this "pill" bullshit. At this point, I don't even know if you're trolling. The value exchange in a traditional framework was absolutely an equal value of exchange. What was brought to the table was polar opposite, but doesn't make either side any less valuable in their exchange. So I'm bluntly throwing the notion that woman brought "more" to the table in the traditional framework.

Let's talk 50/50. BOTH sides are forfeiting traditional attributes. Neither side is being out leveraged in the foundation of 50/50. It "can" happen, but that's indicative of that specific couple, not the framework itself.

If you don't like what you're getting out of a relationship, then leave. If all you do is leave and never get what you strive for, you was never as valuable as you perceived yourself as (man or woman). Whoever is being out leveraged in the 50/50 frame work is case-by-case and if you're being out leveraged, it's 100% on you.

Preme2 · 2024-03-10T18:44:45+00:00

That’s not how 80/20 works. If a woman is in a relationship then she’s attracted to that man. Therefore she better suck it up and do 50/50. She’s going to get all the equality she can handle. She asked for it.

I-wanna-GO-FAST · 2024-03-10T21:13:14+00:00

In my opinion, even 50/50 relationships still benefit women more. Women want relationships, not men. Men settle for a relationship when they meet someone they truly enjoy spending time with, or when they decide they want a reliable source of sex and possibly kids.

So here's the thing, if I don't want kids, and I'm not meeting anyone I like spending time with, and I'm not broke, WHY the fuck would I ever pay a woman just for the "privilege" of being in a relationship with her, even if she was the most beautiful woman on the planet? Why wouldn't I just pay hookers and get the variety I want and keep all my free time to myself?

If you want men to pay for your shit, you have to work on becoming more attractive, which will also make it more likely you'll get into a relationship with someone you are actually attracted to. Complaining on the internet that guys should give you things for free simply because you have a vagina isn't going to accomplish anything. Guys who can give you what you want are not gonna settle for a relationship with your goofy ass because that is not their only option, even if they are unattractive.

Kind-Dare7852 · 2024-03-10T20:56:24+00:00

I'd probably agree more with this, say, 100 years ago, but you can't really go out having hoe phases and loosely defined relationships then expect a 100/0 man to catch you just before you hit rock bottom. Women aren't exaclty a prize these days either.

Safinated · 2024-03-10T21:14:44+00:00

That’s not what 50/50 is

Realistic-Ad-1023 · 2024-03-10T22:02:28+00:00

50/50 isn’t I do half of every chore and you do half of every chore. I plan one date and you plan one date. I put in 50% of the money and you put in 50% of the money.

50/50 is about things feeling equitable to both partners. Both of your needs being met. Both feeling safe and cared for. Both putting in effort. Both communicating and voicing your needs. Both picking up where the other lacks. Not because one is more attracted to the other, so you have to “make up” for the lack of attraction. You shouldn’t be with that person then. And I’m not saying there is no way to build attraction. I was very non committed when I met my partner. As was he. The feeling of wanting a monogamous relationship where he was “the one” is something that came nearly a year into casually dating. But now we have a more solid relationship than anyone I know. Because I’ve looked and experienced elsewhere and I know he is the best human being for me.

In my home, where I feel we have a wonderful distribution of labor that looks something like he pays for the house, bills and dogs. I pay for the groceries, dates, vacations, toiletries, and gifts. It’s his house, that he will keep in the event of a divorce, despite moving in together. All other assets are shared including retirement. We actually work the same job at two different companies so we both know the stressors of each other’s work. When I have a bad week, he picks up my slack, just like I do when he has a bad week. I cook, he does dishes. I deep clean weekly while he does daily pick up. He mows the lawn and pooper scoops while I landscape, do household repairs and build furniture. He initiates sex more often but I initiate difficult conversations and do more relationship maintenance. He handles the social calendar while I handle the remainder of the household mental load. He has more free time than I do, you can typically find him on the couch playing a video game or playing DnD, but I don’t like to just sit. So I’m typically found baking a batch of muffins or organizing closets and cupboards.

The reason this works for us is specifically because we talk about it. I couldn’t be with someone who wanted to work while I stayed home all day and did all of the household stuff. I also couldn’t be with someone who didn’t have a job and did all the household stuff themselves. I wouldn’t be happy if my partner wanted to cook and deep clean instead of the daily stuff. I have chronic pain and I can’t be available to do those things every day. But I can find a day a week to get on my hands and knees and deep clean the entire house. We are together because we vetted each other to make sure the other offered what we were lacking. The sexual chemistry is easy to find. Loving someone is easy. Building a relationship that feels equitable is the hard part. It’s where most people fail and why most relationships fail. You just weren’t compatible long term. And that’s okay. But you should be learning with every new person what forever needs to look like for you. what feels fair for you. and go find that.

There will never be a one size fits all “fair is he does x and she does y.” Life doesn’t work that way. There is never an objective outside opinion that says “yes this relationship is fair.” But if you’re someone who isn’t attracted to men in your lane, you should just stay single and work on yourself until you are attractive to those men. Otherwise you will never be happy. However, I have yet to meet a woman who truly only liked men they couldn’t have. That’s some weird “wOmEn ArE hYpErGaMoUs!” BS that isn’t really real life. It’s a small minority of thin but plain women who are very young. It’s immature and most people grow out of listening to everything the internet says. When I was dating I was pulling dudes far outside of my own lane, so I don’t think this is that big of an issue. Most men do not cheat. Even hot ones. Most women don’t decide to date someone based solely on other people finding him hot. She typically also doesn’t date men she isn’t attracted to and then forces him to be a Splenda daddy just because she can. This is again - just some weird B/RP ideology that wants to paint all women as users and all men as victims.

Sargeras13 · 2024-03-11T00:37:48+00:00

What a dumb post, a relationship isnt just sex, its companionship, its wanting a partner, if you're only looking at it from a sexual market value, you've made the whole thing transactional, thats like saying for every responsibility a man has, he gets sex everytime he does it, does that sound sane to you.

Splitting responsibilities 50/50 is a testament to how much they emotionally and mentally value eachother and the relationship.

Your views are honestly disgusting, and in a relationship scenario, it would make the value of a man and woman entirely monetary and transactional, and thats an utterly miserable relationship.

voidvoices · 2024-03-11T02:34:42+00:00

Jesus, OP and some people here are just showing you WHY is extremely important to have prenup if you are thinking to get into contract with chance of being broken by 50% of the times and 75% by the other part.

Women looking for “provider”, “someone to pay” and all this maybe are not redflag for guy trying to have some fun, but are definitely red flags for guys looking for partner for life, family etc.

Are you literally saying your partner should do more for you because of your feelings (unhappiness). Feelings aren’t real, feelings are reaction to a perceived wound thats never been healed. Its not your partners fault, its 100% yours and nobody should bail out you.

MongoBobalossus · 2024-03-10T18:45:17+00:00

I don’t think you understand what a 50/50 relationship means.

throwinsilaway · 2024-03-10T18:42:23+00:00

A woman finding most men unattractive is their own bad trait

SupportRemarkable583 · 2024-03-10T19:52:35+00:00

I lost braincells reading this post

AshySlashy3000 · 2024-03-10T20:51:53+00:00

Happy Man, Happy Family

SlowEffective8146 · 2024-03-10T21:38:13+00:00

In a relationship a man will naturally have his desire for romantic love and sex fulfilled.

Yea that's assuming she isn't deadbedrooming him and he actually gets sex, which is a pretty big assumption. I do believe the average relationship is DB'd (especially after 10+ years being together)

SamanthaNicola · 2024-03-10T21:53:38+00:00

I disagree, but I also disagree with 50/50. I've been in an LTR for over 10 years. Every person should put as much as they can into it, so 100/100. My partner and I both work some days. I have no energy, so he picks up more slack and sometimes vice versa. It shouldn't be a score card. You should work together as a team doing what needs to be done and supporting each other. I didn't settle, I love my partner, and we put effort into making sure we have quality time as well as making sure the day to day work it done. It needs to be a team effort not on one side and not a scoreboard

Psyteratops · 2024-03-10T23:34:10+00:00

While this seems intuitively true many studies have replicated the finding that women are less concerned with physical attractiveness than men.

CountMandrake · 2024-03-11T00:28:59+00:00

In the past men used to compensate for this unequal value of trade in a relationship by being providers now the average man wants to split everything in half.

You got that part backwards.

This relationship dynamic is not attractive to women ergo the male loneliness crisis.

And that's true only for certain age brackets.

LuvLaughLive · 2024-03-11T04:06:31+00:00

What is the 80/20 rule, and from where did it originate?

Informal-Clothes-959 · 2024-03-10T19:37:43+00:00

Relationships are never 50/50. Someone is always having to pull at least a little more because of out of control circumstances - kids, illness, other people's insanity, aptitude, time management, injury, love.

Thinking they'll be 50/50 is detrimental as a whole framework. It completely overshadows the actual union that most people claim to be looking for in life.

As an example: If my husband is ill or injured then I can, have, and will take care of him, me, our 3 babies, all our critters, and the house solo. If I am ill or injured, I'd better just be dead. I mean ..even from the hospital, I'll be on the phone arranging baby sitters or some shit. We've got one in 12 mon clothing, one in 18 mon, and one in 2t. The husband works so much he doesn't even know where their clothes are...I bought plastic drawer sets for each of them last week.

My preference is..we're both exhausted, we are safe, fed, finished, and together. How we get there is whatever to me.

KSD171 · 2024-03-10T19:09:45+00:00

But what’s fueling men to find the bulk of women attractive? It’s usually a desperate need to be in a relationship and to not be single above all else.

You mentioned the male loneliness crisis… men aren’t the only people that are lonely. There are lots of women in the same boat, but men tend to dismiss this because they see women who are lonely as women who can still date at will and get into causal sex far more easier. But like I stated in my OP on this subreddit, who cares? lol.

Women and men play with a different deck of cards and just because women can get sex or a relationship easier than men isn’t new information or surprising. And that’s why it’s a “so what,” moment.

The true cure to male loneliness is being comfortable with being single

Being comfortable that a large swath of women aren’t going find you enticing enough to date and stop comparing apples and oranges of the male dating experience to the woman dating experience, men would be all right.

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doggiedoc2004 · 2024-03-10T21:58:21+00:00

Soooo you are saying every woman that is with an unattractive man doesn’t get her sexual or romantic needs met? I see unattractive dudes with chicks all the time. Go to Walmart. Go to the beach. Go to Las Vegas. Sooo many unattractive people. All these gals are what? Just with the dude for no reasons? Just for financial support? (If they are in Walmart, bro ain’t rich) You PPD guys are really good at making sweeping generalizations that can easily be disproven by just observing humans out in the real world.

MistyMaisel · 2024-03-11T01:04:02+00:00

I totally disagree with the premise, but I do love how you've applied it so much that it is cracking me up. Bravo. Just, a slow clap on this one. Using the premise of women not being attracted to the men they're with to prove those men need to compensate them above and beyond basic 50/50. God it is fun to watch the people on this thread who agree with the bullshit of 80/20 squirm.

KamuiObito · 2024-03-11T11:38:37+00:00

Why do yall just lack pride? Like no sense of adulthood as a woman at all? Some of yall aren’t real people. Sounds very teen-dultish to me.

Junior_Ad_3086 · 2024-03-11T17:54:02+00:00

well the other side of that coin is that attractive 'provider men' can get laid as much as they wish and don't have to commit to one woman. so women don't have much leverage over the men they want either, especially since there are much less of those men to go around compared to how many women want them. ergo the spinster and anti-depressant epidemic.

noxiouslittleman · 2024-03-10T19:10:08+00:00

Theres two problems with your premise

1)Men aren't attracted to most women. We're attracted to beautiful women. We just make do with what we can get because men are less hypergamous

2) Even if 50/50 relationships benefit only men, that's what women fought for. They wanted equality and well, now you've got it. 50/50 is the only future for relationships unless the woman is in the top 10% of women and can get a man that's willing to provide more than she does. There's no going back.

Fabulous_HonestTea · 2024-03-10T19:12:22+00:00

So refreshing to see honesty from a woman for once.

In the past men used to compensate for this unequal value of trade in a relationship by being providers now the average man wants to split everything in half. This relationship dynamic is not attractive to women ergo the male loneliness crisis.

Absolutely true. But also in the past, the male making up for his inherent worthlessness and replaceability with being the provider was matched by the woman not being ran through by a Chad marathon prior to marriage.

Since women aren’t ever going to stop doing that, I highly recommend men just find something else to do besides having a wife and a family, what fucking year is this anyway, 1890?

MidoriEgg · 2024-03-10T18:59:27+00:00

My partner and I can have a much better quality of life at 50/50 compared to 80/20. Personally while I like men paying for first dates when I was in 20/80 or 10/90 relationships in the past I actually felt a bit uncomfortable and like there was a power imbalance.

KayRay1994 · 2024-03-10T19:18:27+00:00

which is why more couples than ever are happily splitting costs and many wives outearn their husbands, right?

izoldetales · 2024-03-10T23:06:34+00:00

So women who date attractive men are not enough and need to do more ?

Huge_Account_6715 · 2024-03-12T04:22:19+00:00

I think this attraction statistic of all men being attracted to most women is a very broad statistic. 27.5% of women in America are overweight, so how could men find 80% of women attractive? No one wants a overweight woman

jaybalvinman · 2024-03-10T19:16:28+00:00

I dont understand how nobody understands the point you are making in this post. Men are attracted to most women. Women are attracted to only 20% of men. Which means most women have to settle with a man who will be happy to have them. Men are happy and women are not happy. So to make the women a little more happy, the man should offer benefits like money, being the provider etc, to make the cost/benefit equal. What women (who is unsatisfied with a low status man who doesnt xesually excite her) would be ok with a 50/50 relationships?

DarayRaven · 2024-03-10T18:51:47+00:00

This relationship dynamic is not attractive to women ergo the male loneliness crisis.

There is no male Loneliness crisis

Inceldom doesn't exist

Freddsreddit · 2024-03-10T18:50:40+00:00

If the premise is that women arent getting anything out of relationships than money, youd be right. That kind of makes the women a... whats the word...

Title	50/50 relationship are one sided benefiting only men
Author	iliyb
Upvotes	0
Comments	214
Date	March 10, 2024 6:41 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1bbhivi/5050_relationship_are_one_sided_benefiting_only/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/5050-relationship-are-one-sided-benefiting-only.1426378 https://theredarchive.com/post/1426378

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