What percentage of men and what percentage of women do you think would be promiscuous if they are already in a happy relationship and they are “allowed” to be promiscuous by their partner?

Pegmaster6969696969 · 2024-06-18T17:51:27+00:00

Bro I cannot be promiscuous outside of a relationship lmao.

If I ever get a girlfriend she can rest assured that I would never cheat even if I wanted to.

krackedy · 2024-06-18T17:55:22+00:00

I'd guess less than 50% for both, but men having the higher %.

Open relationships already exist but they're not common.

I think most people like the comfort and familiarity of having their one person. Finding new people to fuck takes effort and is risky.

MistyMaisel · 2024-06-18T18:06:14+00:00

My take on stuff like this may be a little weird. I don't think most people actually don't do this because they fear hurting their partner's feelings (I do believe that is a component), but I think the stronger component is that they either consciously or subconsciously realize that the only kind of partner who doesn't care about this sort of thing is one that doesn't fundamentally care about them as much or in the way they want to be cared about (clearly not all).

I think more women are inherently aware of this, so fewer are going to take advantage of it because they don't want to solidify by action the words they've already heard which typically translate to: I don't care that much about you or in these specific ways. I think over time, more women will take advantage of this than men due to both opportunity and the slow decay this knowledge about their partner is going to cause in the quality and fabric of their relationship. And I think the appeal will only grow for them over time either out of vengeance or simply seeking a new partner.

I think fewer men are inherently aware of this, so more are going to take advantage of this upfront. They will have fewer opportunities and lower quality and over time they're going to become aware of their partner's relative lack of care for them. And that's going to cause huge problems in their ego and security when it dawns on them. I think it also will remove a great deal of the appeal and they'll likely stop taking advantage of it in the long term in an ill-conceived attempt to fix what has already been broken. I think a lot of the appeal of this concept for men is the belief that their woman is truly that madly into them. When they realize the opposite is the case, a lot of the fun goes with it.

In terms of percentages, I would say 60% of men are going to go through with it and 30% of women. I don't think it's substantially different, I just think the damage emotionally is. More men are going to be wounded more deeply long term. More women are going to be wounded short term and not as deeply. I think the women who take advantage of it will have more opportunities. I think the men will have fewer opportunities, but will be more blood hounded in seeking them.

spanglesandbambi · 2024-06-18T17:46:09+00:00

If you need to have sex with someone else for me, a monogamous person would not be a happy relationship and would rather leave as that's still time-consuming and complicated. I imagine this sentiment is shared.

GridReXX · 2024-06-18T18:25:35+00:00

I don’t know the exact percentages, but obviously males would be more into that than females.

Lots of gay male couples choose to be open despite loving each other and getting frequent sex from one another.

Professional_Chair28 · 2024-06-18T18:45:41+00:00

In this hypothetical are we also pretending that pregnancy, STDs and general safety aren’t contributing concerns?

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2024-06-18T20:40:32+00:00

100% of men, 12.5% of women

Jello_Vivid · 2024-06-18T19:41:04+00:00

I think men on average have a higher drive for sex and novelty specifically than women so I could only really tell you that men will have a higher percentage but even a rough ball park is hard.

Sea_Wing_9027 · 2024-06-18T17:58:44+00:00

I am bisexual and in a relationship with a man. We've had plenty of opportunities to bring a third home and we haven't either because our room wasn't clean or we both had work early the next day lmao. It's on our bucket list but the timing has never been quite right.

In general I'm very happy with my sex life. I wouldn't leap at the chance to sleep with another dude because the one I'm with is probably better in bed than any rando I could take home. I think women that would leap at the chance to hook up with someone outside of their relationship aren't having satisfying sex.

BrainMarshal · 2024-06-18T18:40:34+00:00

Nah, I can barely juggle one wife. I wouldn't want to fuck a woman who'd try and wreck this home. Hard pass.

AreOut · 2024-06-18T18:52:07+00:00

I want to spend time on other things in life not just sex.

Bikerbats · 2024-06-18T18:08:12+00:00

I think the single most important factor in this equation is age. Honest guy that I am, I make no bones that monogamy was difficult and did not come naturally to me. However, it's easier in my 60's which was easier than m 50's, and so forth until you get to my 20's and 30's, where I often failed to live up to my own ideals.

I don't believe it's that much different for women.

So to answer your question: A bunch of twenty-somethings? Probably high percentages for both genders that will decline as the years go by. I'd say 75% at 21 at least.

toasterchild · 2024-06-18T18:18:37+00:00

Probably most of the ones who already wouldn't cheat, that's just a lot of extra effort for not a lot of payoff. Sex with my LTR is way better than with some random person. But if my partner said I was "allowed to" I would be hurt by that as it implies they either want to themselves or they don't cherish our relationship as much as I thought.

thedarkracer · 2024-06-18T18:22:37+00:00

Men would be with a higher percentage for sure. Studies have shown men tend to cheat more.

Although I may have a hard opinion based on this graph.

Women tend to cheat more under 30. In looks and desirability that is the peak for them so they have more options but it decreases as they age.
Men tend to cheat more over 30. Women go for older men who are also financially well settled so men get more options so men cheat more.
This demographic might not be accurate as it represents older generations typically above 40. Women are mostly housewives in that generation so that decreases their chances of meeting someone and cheating. We might have to wait a few more years to get proper results which is given more freedom will they cheat more or not?

I personally believe percentage of promiscous people by gender would be the same. Both genders are equally good and equally bad. None is superior to one another.

relish5k · 2024-06-18T18:04:30+00:00

I wouldn't want to commit myself to a partner who would "allow" me to be promiscuous. I want him to be bothered by the thought of me with another man.

I think my husband would be fine with sleeping with another woman were I to truly give him a hall pass and mean it. But he says that even if I said it was OK, he thinks that knowing me, I wouldn't actually be OK with it (and he is correct in that assessment), so he wouldn't do it even if I gave him the go ahead, both to avoid hurting me and also to avoid dealing with the fallout. Also he's a busy guy. I'm sure if a beautiful woman fell into his lap for no strings attached sex he would enjoy it, but he's not the kind of guy who would seek that kind of thing out.

So the answer the question...life is messy and complicated and monogamy helps to simplify things. People can violate that simplicity at their own risk.

thelajestic · 2024-06-18T18:07:44+00:00

I don't think it would be that high - at their core people are generally kinda lazy and promiscuity is quite a lot of effort 😅 you might get a small % doing it for a short burst or whatever, but don't think it would be lots of people doing it all the time.

AutoModerator · 2024-06-18T17:42:24+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "Debate" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

shadowrangerfs · 2024-06-18T18:20:29+00:00

A lot of people wouldn't be attractive enough to get the people they want to bang them.

But of those who were able to actually get the other people that they want to have sex with, I think about 98% of men would do it at least once. About 50% of women would do it at least once.

TermAggravating8043 · 2024-06-18T18:31:52+00:00

I would say about 10% woman and 15% men. Even if your partner said it was ok, I doubt many people would even want to be with anyone else.

KayRay1994 · 2024-06-18T18:36:24+00:00

A relatively low % of both, but more men than women realistically, possibly double the men than women, though again, not the majority - more often than not, people don’t sleep with others in a committed relationship because they don’t want to (and to be clear, “don’t want to” doesn’t mean “not feel the temptation to”) - a lot of the time, the bond and closeness between the two is what drives the decision to not sleep with others, its less about not being allowed to cheat and more about not wanting to. There is also the factor of effort and constantly putting yourself out there, when people are committed they tend to neglect that as they don’t feel the need/want to do it

Of course, though, it is worth noting that this doesn’t apply to everyone and I think women are more likely to fully commit to their partners emotionally and not sleep around when committed - men, while many of them would still commit, are more likely to detach sex from their emotions and therefore would be more likely to attempt to sleep around, at least

Pola_Lita · 2024-06-18T18:41:44+00:00

Whatever the percentage, it would probably be around twice as many men as women. Men are taught and encouraged to objectify women, allowing for far fewer qualifications in a partner, while women are still greatly affected by society's admonitions around sex purely for its own sake.

As women gain more power in society, this difference will lessen nearly to equality although women will always have the vulnerabilities inherent to sexual intimacy to consider.

Disastrous_Donut_206 · 2024-06-18T19:02:33+00:00

“Have sex with another man” is not promiscuous!

Kizka · 2024-06-18T19:17:05+00:00

I think a fairly high amount. As someone in an open relationship, who dived deep into the topic, my theory about (non) monogamy is the following:

Monogamy is the norm/standard, but most people are not inherently monogamous. What I mean by that is that most people don't see being monogamous as something they need for/from themselves. Most people, when only thinking about their own person, can imagine loving/being with a person and still having sex with someone else without it changing anything about their feelings for their partner. I think only a minority needs being monogamous themselves in order to being happy.

The issue with non-monogamy is not the realization that you yourself are capable of loving one person and still fucking someone else, it's granting the same freedom to your partner or trusting that the same is true for your partner and that they wouldn't leave you for someone else just as you wouldn't leave them. This is the part that most humans struggle with.

Thus, I believe, monogamy is the norm because it's a deal/compromise. Exclusivity for security. I am afraid that you would leave me for someone else (or someone else is better at sex/is more desirable, etc) if you could have sex with someone else, so in order to avoid this, I am promising fidelity to you (although I could have sex with someone else without it being a threat to you) in exchange for your fidelity (and vice versa).

So yeah, I do think that most people would take the opportunity for something like that because I think that most people want monogamy as a restriction for their partner instead of something for themselves. I think only a minority of people think about monogamy in matters of their own person. Those people to me are truly monogamous instead of simply choosing a monogamous relationship structure.

januaryphilosopher · 2024-06-18T20:06:58+00:00

It depends on if that would imply their partner being allowed the same. Most people definitely wouldn't if it meant their partner would also be promiscuous. Although it's only a minority who are promiscuous even when single so probably still a low number.

baiser_vole · 2024-06-18T23:14:03+00:00

Not sure about the validity of the data, but this was the results a survey of over 2000 people apparently. If the "happy relationship" was not a premise, not significantly different.

<image>

Wattehfok · 2024-06-18T23:52:07+00:00

Why would I want to be promiscuous outside my marriage?

There aren’t exactly a troupe of impatient lingerie models standing around outside my marriage waiting for it to open up. Any woman I could pull outside my marriage is going to be a serious disappointment.

In the words of Frank Sinatra - “why go out for hamburger when there’s steak at home”.

HappyCat79 · 2024-06-19T00:18:31+00:00

My boyfriend told me that he wouldn’t be upset if I had sex with someone else. He said he knows who I love and want to spend my life with.

I absolutely do not want to have sex with anybody else, and I told him that I would be very upset if he had sex with someone else.

I trust that he’s faithful to me and I don’t question his love for me. I think that he just has very open views about sex and sexuality.

He said he doesn’t want to have sex with anybody else either, and he is more than satisfied with our sex life. We have sex nearly every day and sometimes more than once in a day. He’s 51 and I’m almost 45. 🤣

Ppdebatesomental · 2024-06-19T00:29:56+00:00

These two ideas, a happy, non monogamous romantic relationship are diametrically opposed in my mind. I have only one way of explaining my answer…I could no longer respect or love a man who didn’t want to possess me. A man who doesn’t care if I’m promiscuous? It’s no longer a happy relationship. Likewise, if I stopped caring if my husband slept with other women? I would no longer love him.

I think people actually have had these types of relationships throughout history, on a “don’t ask, don’t tell, and don’t publicly embarrass me” basis, but that’s usually after all romantic love has gone out of the window.

People with these “arraignments” seem to both have sex outside of the relationship.

Bassist57 · 2024-06-19T00:36:49+00:00

Women would have sex outside marriage way more than men if allowed, because it’s easier for a woman to get laid.

Sandjota · 2024-06-19T01:29:05+00:00

I think a majority of guys can disassociate sex and romantic feelings from each other. So if sex was accessible to him and he had full permission, I think 95% of men would WANT to take advantage of that situation. The only thing holding some men back would be for religious reasons or the thought that their personal admiration and love for their partner would be diminished (comparing their partner with others, etc). I still think the percentahr would be high, like 75% which is much more than those who would if not given permission (maybe 20%).

As for woman, I can't speak for them but I wpuld imagine that not much would change. Maybe a slight increase of 10 to 15% higher. I tend to think most woman who cheat are doing it for emotional reasons and of they are going to do it, they are going to do it irregardless. I just don't think that's the preference for most. I would think most woman want to be in a loyal and committed relationship and be emotionally fulfilled through that one person as a preferance. .

Upset_Material_3372 · 2024-06-19T02:17:02+00:00

Many more women would be promiscuous as very few men even have the option to be so.

obviousredflag · 2024-06-19T07:56:14+00:00

Look at sociosexuality to answer your question.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sociosexuality

I think the more sociosexually unrestricted a person, the more likely they would engage in this allowed sex with people outside their relationship. Restricted people would not ,even if allowed. People don't change their sociosexuality when the rules change, but other circumstances might mediate their sociosexuality. Becoming a father, for example, makes you more restricted in attitude and behavior.

Other than that, sociosexuality is usually pretty stable:

"Some prior research and theory suggests that differences in sociosexuality between individuals are at least partially stable and reflect underlying genetic variation (Bailey, Kirk, Zhu, Dunne, & Martin, 2000; Gangestad & Simpson, 1990; Wlodarski & Dunbar, 2015). Moreover, sociosexuality tends to covary with other stable, trait-like characteristics, such as dimensions of personality (Penke & Asendorpf, 2008; Reise & Wright, 1996; Simpson et al., 2004; Simpson & Gangestad, 1991)"

here: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1090513818300898

You need to look for distributions of men and women along the sociosexuality spectrum yourself, to get an idea about percentages.

Also, you might want to do the test for sociosexuality for yourself.

RubyDiscus · 2024-06-19T11:57:02+00:00

I feel like most men would be and less womdn

VWGUYWV · 2024-06-19T16:04:29+00:00

Relevant survey has been done

They asked people “would you have an affair if you were guaranteed to not get caught?”

From memory, like 68% of women said yes and 72% of men

Those results trouble me

I don’t want to be with a woman that would bang other dudes but is just too chicken shit they’ll get caught

McPigg · 2024-07-17T19:09:19+00:00

Around 20% of women, and like 50% of men

SaBahRub · 2024-06-18T18:15:41+00:00

Almost all men, not as many women

qunamax · 2024-06-18T19:24:17+00:00

The relationship is only truly happy in the honeymoon phase.

Independent-Mail-227 · 2024-06-18T17:49:44+00:00

Is the wife providing the men with sex at will? Because otherwise will be men simply by the fact men have stronger sex drives and the type of man that fill the woman idea of perfect men is a rarity on top of rarity.

Just_Natural_9027 · 2024-06-18T19:35:41+00:00

You’re only as faithful as your options. Most guys don’t cheat because they don’t have any options or the options they have aren’t as good at what’s at home.

It isn’t a matter of permission.

The more interesting question is how many guys would cheat if they were approached by an absolute smokeshow.

one_ball_policy · 2024-06-18T17:56:19+00:00

I’d probably want the occasional 3 some but outside of that I’d stay home. Lot of men who don’t get pussy don’t realize how unimportant it is so I’d say 50% of men. Women all wanna sleep with Chad so if they could have sex with Chad and their husband didn’t mind they would definitely go for it. I’d say 72.64% of women

Comments