Women’s orgasms are incredibly variable, while men’s are far more predictable, at least in terms of reaching climax. I don’t think this is a controversial observation. If you’ve had sex more than once, and especially with more than one partner, you’ve probably noticed this dynamic. If you haven’t, or if you’re here to argue basic observations without engaging meaningfully, this post probably isn’t for you.

For those still here, let’s talk about the societal pressures this creates for both men and women. Men are often shamed for not "lasting long enough." Terms like "3-second man" or "2-pump chump" are thrown around casually, attaching a value judgment to something that’s supposed to be about connection (though I’d argue it doesn’t always have to be). On the flip side, if a woman doesn’t climax, it’s also seen as a failure—but the blame can fall on either her or her partner. We don’t blame women when men climax quickly, so why is there this asymmetry when the roles are reversed?

There’s a lot of nuance here. Women might not orgasm for a variety of reasons: lack of communication, stress, or simply needing different stimulation. And yes, there are stereotypes like "pillow queens," but even when these are discussed, it’s rarely in a way that shames women’s sexuality. Meanwhile, men are often ridiculed for not meeting unrealistic expectations.

It’s important to bring up a key issue related to feminism/blue pill ideology—it has increased inequalities rather than reduced them. Even in this space, sex is often framed as something men do and that happens to women. While we have things like slut walks and other forms of empowerment, the focus has shifted to "women behaving like men" rather than a more self-focused approach, like using a mirror to explore one's own body and develop an understanding of feminine sexual power. But where is the expectation that women take an active role in their own fulfillment?

All of these perspectives suffer from the same flaw: when only one gender is expected to change, neither can truly do so effectively.

In that vein, to create better and more equitable sex, I have to ask: Why do you think this double standard exists? Is it rooted in traditional gender roles, societal expectations, or something else entirely? Most importantly, why is it so hard to change?