Women tend to have a massive aversion to being valued for for sex - frequently complaining about being objectified or having to filter out tons of men that only care about their body in dating. The vast majority of women will tell you that they want a long-term, committed relationship based on things like emotional connection, companionship, and a feeling of security.

At the same time, if you take a brief trip over to r/deadbedrooms, you will find stories from woman after woman living this female ideal: she has secured a long-term, committed relationship (usually marriage) where her partner has assigned her a sexual value of 0, so she can be completely assured that he's staying with her because of her and not because of the sex she's providing. But what you'll find is that the women in these threads are invariably unhappy their situation.

So clearly the answer is somewhere in the middle. My question is: how much of your value to him do you WANT to come from sex?

I'm also curious where the boundaries of discomfort lie in both directions. Holding constant a normal, healthy emotional connection, how much can you turn up or down the dial of his sexual desire for you before it starts to become a problem for you?