A lot of guys with “no options” have a self-inflicted problem.

NoClerk951 · 2026-05-11T18:07:23+00:00

So what you are saying is if a guy is broke and not particularly attractive he just needs to respect her and be nice to her to win her over? Lmao. Yeah, that's how it works obviously. Mhm.

Lost_Reaction_5489 · 2026-05-11T19:25:41+00:00

They should take heed to your signals about desperation. It's a huge beacon for predators.

TheKindlyPoltergeist · 2026-05-11T18:01:45+00:00

I have been there so I don't mean this as harsh as it sounds. Alot of guys are thinking that dateing is rigged or they have "high standards" because they are too afraid to actually try. These guys auto reject themselves because they think it will hurt less then being actually rejected. What they don't understand is the depression from the negative self talk is vastly worse than just getting rejected in the first place.

Modssuck12574 · 2026-05-11T18:14:30+00:00

This post reeks of a woman thinking certain men should be nothing more than asexual and aromantic.

This is a big reason why women will tell a man that it’s mainly his personality that’s making dating hard for him.

As they continue to date cheaters, abusers, criminals, addicts, etc. So long as women keep choosing to date men like that, they have no leg to stand on with posts like these

PrinceDuneReloaded · 2026-05-11T19:54:12+00:00

the dudes with no options aren't really getting opportunities to show their personality

wtknight · 2026-05-11T18:00:43+00:00

This is a big reason why women will tell a man that it’s mainly his personality that’s making dating hard for him. If your only options are terrible women, shallow women, or women who make you feel like a jester, that does not prove women are terrible.

It does mean that a lot of women are not wonderful, though, which counteracts the general societal belief that women are generally wonderful.

If a man was socialized from childhood to believe that all women are wonderful, then his problems and that “the right woman is out there for him”, then his problems are not really self-inflicted. This is why manosphere movements attempt to actually teach men what they believe is the truth about women. Of course, that “truth” is generally in the very opposite direction of all women being wonderful.

BlackTransMaam2 · 2026-05-12T03:37:31+00:00

Women truly have no idea what no options mean for men versus themselves. Outside of the truly least desirable women there will be options for her, she may not like them but there are suitors willing to be with her. Meanwhile for men, just being below average can truly put you in a position where there may not be a single woman available to you.

huss1992c · 2026-05-11T19:21:06+00:00

You’ve really reached a wild conclusion. So, if a man complains that the women around him have bad characters, it’s because he isn’t attracted to good women and doesn’t realize he is actually a bad person himself. What do you think about poor people? Are they poor because they are lazy? Or a sick person, If you had taken care of yourself, you would be healthy. What do you say?

rejected-again · 2026-05-11T19:49:55+00:00

One thing you got right is that women using men for validation is VERY common. For some reason, there appears to be this idea that if a woman is uninterested, then she will show it through obvious disinterest. This is FALSE. Many women will in fact give breadcrumbs to a guy just to boost her ego.

WhiteLotusGauntlet · 2026-05-11T21:10:45+00:00

A common problem I see with men complaining they have no options is that they don’t see the value of being agreeable unless it guarantees them sex or romance. A woman who cares more about character is not interested in a guy with that type of attitude. They typically want a man who is pleasant, considerate, and respectful as a default, not part of a transaction.

This is hilariously wrong.

The men who have little to no options are way more likely to be agreeable, including with other men, older women, and women who already have partners, not just with women they could potentially date.

It could very well be that their personality is limiting their options, but it is limiting them with women who desire a more disagreeable partner. Or maybe more accurately, women who do not want an agreeable partner. Disagreeableness by itself isn't something women want, it needs to go along with a certain amount of extroversion, a kindness to her specifically, and a level of competence so that his disagreeableness doesn't have any meaningful negative consequences for him.

They just need desperate men who wants access badly enough to ignore her disrespect. That’s where the “jester” dynamic comes from. Some women enjoy the validation. Some enjoy the power dynamic. Some enjoy watching a man perform for attention he was never going to get. Some will take the free meal, the compliments, the attention, the ego boost, and then leave. Not because “all women are like that,” but because desperation attracts people who exploit desperation.

This is mostly true, just that these women can use desperate or highly agreeable men. Most women who prefer agreeable men as partners fit this description.

GyrosEnjoyer · 2026-05-11T18:06:50+00:00

They typically want a man who is pleasant, considerate, and respectful as a default, not part of a transaction

If she only chose me because I was a nice guy, she was never actually into me

Gemini_zyx · 2026-05-11T18:46:55+00:00

I personally dont feel I see many men claiming agreeability should only be used to as a garantee for sex or romance. More commonly I feel that there is an assumption that IF a man is lonley it must be either a) he had a bad personality or b) they arnt putting the effort in.

While I dont know what the exact percentages will be there is also people who are trying, are nice but just not having any luck. Forming connections in your adult life when you dont have existing connections is HARD, really hard. Just showing up to clubs or going to bars doesnt = connections. I wish people would be more understanding that lonliness is increasingly a systemic issue affecting men and women and not just because people are becoming less personable

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Redditcritic6666 · 2026-05-11T19:57:51+00:00

A common problem I see with men complaining they have no options is that they don’t see the value of being agreeable unless it guarantees them sex or romance.

Where do you see that?

A woman who cares more about character is not interested in a guy with that type of attitude. They typically want a man who is pleasant, considerate, and respectful as a default, not part of a transaction. Then these same men usually don’t want “gold diggers,” so they don’t want women who prioritize money or resources either. That leaves women who prioritize looks and raw sexual attraction more heavily. But if those women don’t find him attractive enough, he gets filtered out there too.

So what is he left with?

Be more attractive, or don't play the game. As long as he's happy with the results then there's no issue.. even if the above situation is strictly hypothetical. But basically I can summarized the above scenario better then you... bluepill men attempts dating women in the most bluepill way. The end.

This is a big reason why women will tell a man that it’s mainly his personality that’s making dating hard for him. If your only options are terrible women, shallow women, or women who make you feel like a jester, that does not prove women are terrible. It might mean other women already opted out his dating pool.

if his option that leaves him with nothing , then he has nothing. I mean that's really what you've said right? Is this even worthy of a post?

Women generally care about some combination of personality, looks, and money.

Literally a few lines after...

. A woman who cares more about character is not interested in a guy with that type of attitude. They typically want a man who is pleasant, considerate, and respectful as a default, not part of a transaction

lol.

Santa-Teresa · 2026-05-11T20:40:22+00:00

There are very few types of relationships that are not transactional to a degree. A romantic relationship is not necessarily about unconditional love and devotion, but the reciprocity of providing and receiving love and affection.

Those men who refuse to be agreeable unless they get romantic affection are probably indeed not suitable for relationships, but you shouldn’t mistake that for not being entirely selfless in a relationship.

The_Economistologist · 2026-05-12T15:15:08+00:00

The guys I see with “no options” are introverts that simply don’t have natural settings where they interact with age-appropriate single women.

Think, nerdy software guy that works with all dudes, comes home and plays games. That type of guy needs to be in proximity to viable women so attraction can grow. His lifestyle doesn’t allow that to happen.

A man that can force some degree of extroversion will have much more success with women.

Sidian · 2026-05-11T22:47:23+00:00

This is a big reason why women will tell a man that it’s mainly his personality that’s making dating hard for him. If your only options are terrible women, shallow women, or women who make you feel like a jester, that does not prove women are terrible. It might mean other women already opted out his dating pool.

Another day, another victim blaming post. If you're mistreated as a man, it must be your fault always. At least you admit that women prioritise looks and money though.

Let's say I'm right and all women are like this and prioritise looks, money, and status. And they are all like this. And that the men who struggle often struggle through no fault of their own, simply because they are unable to live up to the entitled standards of women no matter what they do. How would you expect this version of reality to look different to our own?

Motosport_Titan · 2026-05-11T18:01:33+00:00

Their personality is making it hard for them because some guys all their care about is sex and are big mad because women aren’t letting them have sex, you can feel it by the way they’re answering questions here. Some guys who are chronically single for whatever reason and want a relationship are so desperate it’s off putting to women, the ones who are mass asking out women. These women won’t feel special, you don’t care about them as a person, you just want a woman. Not to mention a lot of men the single they stay the more bitter and worse their personality and attitude towards women is, they self sabotage and they aren’t fun to be around. I can sense when a guy is desperate for relationships/sex in like the first 3 sec he interacts with a woman. As a guy I don’t want to sit with them or hang out with them because of the topics they talk about and their actions when there are women present .

Edit: one time we went to a place and a friend of a friend came with us, he kept getting into women’s personal space to dance with them and trying to kiss them. A friend turned to me and said something in the line of I don’t want to go out with him anywhere anymore. I agreed and that was the last time we hung out with him.

criticalcry-tactic00 · 2026-05-11T19:04:31+00:00

Barely-moral · 2026-05-11T18:27:49+00:00

When you are creating this hypothetical man you start by saying that he says he can't vet

they can’t vet for compatibility, etc or else they are left with nothing.

Then you go

A common problem I see with men complaining they have no options is that they don’t see the value of being agreeable unless it guarantees them sex or romance. A woman who cares more about character is not interested in a guy with that type of attitude. They typically want a man who is pleasant, considerate, and respectful as a default, not part of a transaction.

So far so good. No contradiction there. The man is malleable to do whatever gets him towards his goals and you claim women don't want a man that is malleable but one that does the right thing without looking at the reward.

And then you screw your own argument...

Then these same men usually don’t want “gold diggers,” so they don’t want women who prioritize money or resources either.

That is a contradiction. A man that does that is vetting.

Back to the beginning of your post.

they can’t vet for compatibility, etc or else they are left with nothing.

A man that does not vet can't be the same man that does not want gold diggers.

The rest of your post builds upon this mistake so it can be ignored.

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PattayaVagabond · 2026-05-11T21:55:45+00:00

Being agreeable doesn't mean you are a good person. I'd argue it actually makes you a worse person

Logos1789 · 2026-05-11T23:32:16+00:00

The core issue is still a lack of overall desirability. You can’t fault men for refusing to consider women who they wouldn’t consent to sex or a relationship with. It’s perfectly valid for lesser desirable men to highlight how the women who they have sincere desire for are only into men who are better in an immutable way, and to openly lament that unfortunate circumstance.

Hi-Road · 2026-05-12T01:09:52+00:00

>A woman who cares more about character is not interested in a guy with that type of attitude. They typically want a man who is pleasant, considerate, and respectful as a default, not part of a transaction.

Just about everyone wants this though right? But it comes off as weird whenever people take it upon themselves to tell the other gender how to act. This is basically what Kevin Samuels always said. But my thing is... you're telling people to mold their personality based on the wants of the opposite gender. So you essentially value their acceptance above your own personality. Maybe you don't even have your own. I think that's what people should focus on instead. Those who gravitate to you will gravitate to you. Everyone doesn't have to like you.

Throwawaypmme2 · 2026-05-12T02:25:38+00:00

This is based on your feelings, right?

ThanosSnapsSlimJims · 2026-05-12T02:25:46+00:00

Being agreeable in general is terrible. Marching to the beat of someone else's drum sucks

No-Rough-7390 · 2026-05-12T09:34:12+00:00

You speak about character, but a man of character would also be principled. And if that’s the case, then if someone, say a woman, challenged those principles he’d had to… and stay with me here… DISAGREE to remain a man of character.

You use a lot of container words to tip toe around “men should just shut up and do what women say”.

Also, it’s clear you don’t date women (and that’s fine) because you continuously have no idea what you are talking about in terms of what it’s like to date them.

Yupperdoodledoo · 2026-05-11T20:31:05+00:00

Spot on! Men are unintentionally selecting the types of women they complain about.

MuchCartographer9993 · 2026-05-11T19:10:42+00:00

I work in a field that is male dominated and real men who have decent jobs are not begging for sex. Most of them just ask women out who are in their social circle, start relationships that don’t begin with sex, pay for dates without expecting anything, and eventually get married.

It’s mostly the lower class technicians or men who are struggling in some way that beg for sex.

ARTriple · 2026-05-11T18:25:18+00:00

A common problem I see with men complaining they have no options is that they don’t see the value of being agreeable

then why does literally nothing else in your post address this

being agreeable and being of good character have little to nothing to do with each other, not that there's a lot of value in either to women who already "don't find him attractive enough" or "opted out his dating pool" as you so succinctly put it

They may be women who see desperation and know how to use it. These women don’t need thousands of men begging for them at a moments notice. They just need desperate men who wants access badly enough to ignore her disrespect. That’s where the “jester” dynamic comes from. Some women enjoy the validation. Some enjoy the power dynamic. Some enjoy watching a man perform for attention he was never going to get. Some will take the free meal, the compliments, the attention, the ego boost, and then leave. Not because “all women are like that,” but because desperation attracts people who exploit desperation.

and being agreeable is supposed to stop this from happening?

A lot of guys with “no options” have a self-inflicted problem.

Comments

They can always stop complaining about the types of women they're getting on dates then.

Title	A lot of guys with “no options” have a self-inflicted problem.
Author	LillthOfBabylon
Upvotes	1
Comments	370
Date	May 11, 2026 5:47 PM UTC (2 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1taapu3/a_lot_of_guys_with_no_options_have_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/a-lot-of-guys-with-no-options-have-a-self.1580161 https://theredarchive.com/post/1580161