How and when does a woman create a "type"?

Secret_Entry1840 · 2026-05-21T13:34:30+00:00

I believe “types” happen in adolescence. There’s not a specific trigger. It’s familiarity, happenstances, nature, nurture. As we age and learn we can (not everyone) reshape our “types” through new experiences. You also have a “type” it’s just wider than others. Not all men have a large array of women they find attractive and not all women have a small array of men they find attractive. Physical, mental, and emotional attraction is different for different people.

NiaMiaBia · 2026-05-21T13:59:12+00:00

For me (I’m bi) my physical type has changed over the years. My guys have all been different physically, and now that I date women - I have a “type” for them too - and even that has changed. Maybe this is what people mean by sexuality being “fluid” for some of us.

Most people I’m attracted to share the same inward traits though - protective, generous, good looking, funny, generous, etc.

toasterchild · 2026-05-21T13:34:48+00:00

I don't "require" a man to have certain characteristics to find him attractive, just if he happens to have certain characteristics im much more likely to find him attractive.

Group 1 ...Men who fit my niches have a higher likelihood of me finding them attractive.

Group 2... Men who fit a handful of other niches i view as a turn off. Very very unlikely to find them attractive.

Group 3... The majority are just neutral where i could find them attractive given certain circumstances, the odds are just lower than group 1.

brizia · 2026-05-21T13:25:51+00:00

Truthfully, it sounds like you have a type, but it’s less specific than what you assume women’s types to be.

Almost everyone has characteristics they are attracted to. I’m unsure why you think this is a woman specific thing.

-mixedsignals · 2026-05-21T13:31:42+00:00

When did you know you liked certain ice cream flavors? certain sports, colors, food, friends?

this is the same

Antique-Bumblebee295 · 2026-05-21T13:55:21+00:00

My type has evolved a bit as I’ve gotten older. For example, I used to not find facial hair attractive at all when I was a teenager and that is no longer the case. However, a lot of the same traits have persisted and I won’t pretend that those traits are unique lol. I like men who are taller than me by quite a bit, lean body type, have a more masculine/dominant presence yet still kind and gentle. I wouldn’t say having this type has limited me at all and my boyfriend fits description.

Present-Afternoon-70 · 2026-05-21T14:40:36+00:00

Im a little hesitant to speak entirely here but does anyone "create" a type really? I certainly havent sat down and done that. What I have done was watch movies and stuff and think oh that boys smile is amazing, or that girls hair, you just start noticing aspects of people you are attracted to and that builds up over time.

Also yes men and women are different for many reasons but we are all still human.

prettywords_ · 2026-05-21T13:26:06+00:00

I've had the same "type" since I was a teenager. Mildly feminine, smart, "soft", guys. Cute more than handsome. Never really been into rugged bearded or muscular guys.

It's not set in stone though. I'm capable of finding other guys attractive. A type usually isn't a requirement, it's just a trend.

Afraid_Fondant_7903 · 2026-05-21T14:24:13+00:00

always have liked tall white guys as my “type”. probably because i grew up primarily around tall white guys. have dated many outside this type tho. i am a white woman btw

kmb218 · 2026-05-21T13:21:17+00:00

For what different reasons do you find women attractive?

ashpr0ulx · 2026-05-21T13:39:50+00:00

i have a pretty specific type. i married that type. i have gone outside of that type before, but in general, men of a specific look really appeal to me.

why do i have that type? no idea. it’s like asking me why i like muscle cars or landscape paintings. it’s like asking why green is my favorite color. i have no clue.

it never hindered me finding a good partner because at least where i live, my type is pretty popular. it also helps if you can be your type’s type. and as i said, i’m not bound to this type, and have dated outside of it before.

it basically just helps grab my attention at the beginning. being my type doesn’t guarantee i’ll like a man and being out of my type doesn’t guarantee i won’t be interested.

the_scar_when_you_go · 2026-05-21T14:05:43+00:00

Childhood. A lot of us develop our "type" in childhood. Mine is a combination of the kind of men I grew up around and the kind of men I got my first crushes on. It's not really conscious. It just happens. I know other women have had the same experience, and I'd hazard that's the deal with almost all of us.

It's not limiting, ime. I like looking at men who are my type. I like seeing them in movies and books. But I've only been with one man who fit, and I'm not disappointed. I don't wish my partners were all my type. They aren't lesser. Just different.

I've mostly seen women in media and middle school sorting by type. It's immature and unproductive. Doesn't mean they don't exist, just that they aren't hard boundaries.

leosandlattes · 2026-05-21T13:26:48+00:00

I think it’s rare for anyone, men or women, to have a specific list of features in where everything needs to be met in order to feel attraction.

I do have a “preferred” type but it’s behavioral — reserved, a little bit poetic, dry humor — and so coincidentally men who behave in that way tend to share other characteristics lol, like listening to a lot of the same music, dressing in grey/black. This isn’t always the case, though.

I’ve had this preferred type since I was aware of my own attraction to men, so when I was a teenager. It’s not like I’ve only ever been attracted to that type, but I’ve tended to gravitate toward it when the option is there. Does that make sense?

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2026-05-21T14:13:09+00:00

i have had the same type since i was 8-9 yrs old and saw the character craterface in Grease. its not something you do deliberately, it's what you're naturally drawn to. i hav enever once had any trouble finding men who fit my type, i deliberately immersed myself in the world where they were

SimilarChampionship2 · 2026-05-21T14:03:39+00:00

I don’t have a type in terms of physical characteristics. I’ve dated/had crushes on white guys, asian guys, black guys, short guys, tall guys, guys with and without glasses, skinny guys and dad bods. For me it’s more about who they are as a person, do our values align, do we have a similar sense of humour, similar lifestyle, outlook on sex/intimacy etc. I do tend to prefer who aren’t traditionally masculine though.

I think for some people if they dated/liked someone and had deep feelings for them they might then find people with the same characteristics more attractive

anna_alabama · 2026-05-21T14:37:37+00:00

I realized my type when I was relatively young, I think around 14-15. It wasn’t something I actively did, it kind of just happened to me. When I started noticing guys, my mind was automatically sorting them into “yes” and “no” groups. The “yes” group is pretty specific.

love_in_october · 2026-05-21T14:53:16+00:00

Everyone has some kind of type, including you. Not being introspective enough to recognise your type doesn't mean you don't have one - I truly doubt you're genuinely into a completely random and entirely diverse range of women with nothing in common whatsoever. Those "features and esthetics [sic]" you're into are part of your type.

Like anyone else, I have a personality that's compatible with some kinds of personalities but clashes with others. Those that are compatible are my type. I'm also drawn to people with certain looks or quirks or interests for reasons that can be less easily explained, you can ask the person who invented sexuality I guess.

I didn't consciously create or develop a type, I can just recognise trends in the kind of people I'm into. If I was into someone who didn't match those trends I wouldn't restrict myself from being attracted to them, I just know attraction to them is unlikely in the first place.

mooncake_bites · 2026-05-21T14:20:17+00:00

Literally, everyone has a type. If not in looks, then in personality or vibes. Men and women alike have one. You either are just not self aware enough to be able pinpoint the similarities or just trying to feel self righteous about having no type. If you truly had no type, anyone and everyone would do it for you which we all know that’s not true as everyone has their preferences. Type isn’t permanent either.

Yes, it makes it harder to find a partner, but at least I’m not wasting people’s time and leading them on. Nobody wants to be told they’re not their partner’s type. Being self aware and honest with yourself and others is the kindest thing you can do.

Lysa_Bell · 2026-05-21T15:00:50+00:00

My type isnt a static thing. My type is someone I am attracted to for some reason or another. That changed throughout my life. It depended who I had a crush on. Although my type for women was always a bit stricter than my type for men. My women type is based on my first girl crush I had when I was like 7. My first boy crush also happend around that time but it changed a lot while I am aging. When I was a teenager I was into boy band kind of guys. Then I had crushes on "bad boys" from shows. One of my very first guy crushes from my teenage was Spike from Buffy. During that time I was disgusted with the idea of a guy having facial hair. As I got older my type changed as well. Nowadays for instance I am very attracted to facial hair. As a teenager I was disgusted by the thought of old men. Now I am in my late 30s and I love me a silver fox kind of guy. Wrinkles, grey hair, rough features. A type is just a preference. Although as I said my preference for women was always petite women, shorter than me. I love being the dominant one with women so that played a role in it. My type has more to do with who I want to be in a dynamic than actually who the person is.

jorts-enthusiast · 2026-05-21T15:14:28+00:00

I find that I’m mostly attracted to nerdy guys. I don’t feel like this has ever limited my dating options because there are a wide variety of people who fit my type, as it’s not one that’s governed by physical features or personalities. I’ve also dated people who did not fit my type, and was still attracted to those people.

I think I developed this type because it aligns with who I am, and my hobbies. I like that my boyfriend is into video games because I am too - it’s easy for us to find something to do together, and for us to find things to do apart, and it’s nice to have someone to share that with. We can attend mtg events together, share books that we like, and we can have long and interesting conversations about lots of things.

DMmeClownPics · 2026-05-21T15:16:24+00:00

I don’t have a rigid physical “type”. I do have some mild preferences, but many of my exes fall outside of that range or only have one or two physical characteristics in common. But to the best of my knowledge those preferences were set during my formative years and are based on physical characteristics of the first handful of boys I had crushes on.

What is much more important to me than their physical characteristics is their personality. I do have a much more rigid “type” when it comes to that, and it was developed in the same way.

I like men who are closer to my height (short, I’m 5’2” though historically this is that attribute I’m most flexible on because not a lot of men are close to my height), with softer features like pretty eyes, a more feminine facial structure, softer body type (chubby or skinny fat), lower sexual dimorphism in general. Personality-wise I am very drawn to men who are neurodivergent, creative, generally pleasant and easygoing, and very very into me. If a guy is not giving me strong indicators of interest then I’m pretty unlikely to be attracted to him regardless of what he looks like.

Jonesdm5 · 2026-05-21T15:59:11+00:00

Hmm I used to have a type when I was a preteen. Now I don’t really have a type. All my exs look wildly different. Different races, skin tones, body types, eye colors, some sporty types, emo types, nerdy/anime types. Height ranged from 5’7-6’4. I’m all over the place.

Superficially they were very different but my friend pointed out to me that they were all calm, back of the room types and quiet. Always steady never really excitable. So that might be my “type” personality wise.

EuphoricFarmer5994 · 2026-05-25T07:39:01+00:00

I have a friend, A, who’s into STEM/science nerds because she wants stability (she’s from a broken family, no father) and looks don’t matter to her. I strongly dislike her type and like muscular aggressive males in the trades or from the streets (I’m from an intact oppressive family with a highly sexual mother). My other friend, B, is hot-tempered and likes abusive scrawny males from rough areas (she’s from an intact, dysfunctional religious family). A is non-confrontational, low libido, and modest. Me and B are highly sexual and intense. All three of us grew up together but we hate each others’ types.

To answer, I think your type as a woman is 10% based on upbringing, 40% what turns you on sexually, and 50% your innate disposition. Also, you want your mirror, not your opposite, meaning stable wants stable and intense wants intense. Some guys get upset because they want types they can’t handle, but it’s better to focus on compatibility. Second, I’d say we figure out our type at puberty. And yes it’s limiting to have a type but it’s fixed to the point you’re unable to lubricate for any other type.

KarenEiffel · 2026-05-21T13:35:00+00:00

I guess I developed my type as a teenager, but probably wouldn't have been able to identify it back then as it's something that was/is rather unconscious. Like only in looking back was I able to see trends in the dudes I dated.

When my girlfriends and I have talked about it, we've been able to clock each other's types somewhat better than we have for ourselves. My bff once told me that I "don't have a type, I have a shape" and she's pretty spot on there, lol.

I dont understand the "why" question - it's not something I intentionally did, it's just what I happen to be attracted to.

No, I don't feel my type has affected my ability to find a partner as it's not that strict of a thing where I wouldn't consider someone unless they checked all the boxes.

KayRay1994 · 2026-05-21T13:24:48+00:00

I don’t think people “create” types. Types kinda just…. happen based off your interests, what you might want to see in others, what things you might find appealing, some values you might have, videos you’re driven towards, emotions modes that speak to you and so on. Often they’re subconscious

I also say ‘people’ cause I do think gender isn’t very relevant to having a type. Everyone has at least one.

AngeAware · 2026-05-21T14:10:34+00:00

For me it was freshman year in high school. I had a massive crush on one of my two male teachers. Basically every guy I've fallen for since including my fiancé has physical traits and interests in common with him.

AutoModerator · 2026-05-21T12:58:50+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "Debate" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

toad-wrangler · 2026-05-21T15:50:44+00:00

I'm bi- there's a major correlation between characteristics of the people I felt safe with growing up and the characteristics I now find attractive as an adult. There's also a major correlation between the characteristics of people I didn't feel safe with growing up and characteristics that are now distinctively unattractive or gross to me.

My "types" have mostly prevented me from becoming/staying attatched to people with truly erratic, cruel, and neglectful behaviors. The people who hurt me the most growing up were people who had moderate to severe mental illness, and the physically characteristics that are sexually/romantically off-putting to me are all related to major self-neglect (like I said- major correlation).

I don't have a specific list of physical features that are requirements. The way my attraction works is not really quatitative in any way.

Mindful_Insights · 2026-05-21T18:15:47+00:00

Preteen years shape this. Culture too. Our type isn’t set usually. Life experiences can change it. Even if a man fits my physical preferences, once he opens his mouth, it can change instantly.

LadyMoustache · 2026-05-21T21:09:22+00:00

When do they develop these types?

Usually when you start to have an interest in the opposite sex, so probably at the beginning of puberty.

Why did you develop your type?

Good question. I have no idea. There is no real "why", there is no logical reason. You just notice that you like certain guys and you don't like other guys.

Do you feel having a type limits your ability to find a good partner?

Yup! It would be way easier to just rationally decide who the best partner would be instead of being dependent on stupid feelings. But well, no sex without feelings so the rational path is not an option :')

ResponsibilityAny217 · 2026-05-21T22:04:31+00:00

It's not really created intentionally it's what I find naturally attracts you.

Of the men I dated and been attracted to and even the one man I grew attracted towards the things that all had in common was skinny twink like men.

Then afterwards most of them also had big eyes, a nice smile and fluffy hair.

When do they develop these types?

Puberty, I think.

Why did you develop your type?

It was not intentionally developed so I will think of this question as why did my type develop.

I think bc of my Dad or maybe I just like inherited my mom's taste ? A lot of the man I date just look like my Dad. Skinny twink man with big eyes and a nice smile. I am not attracted to my dad. But everything about my dad on another non related man is attractive.

Tends to be a difference in behavior though. So maybe thats it. If that's it point to Dr.Freud.

Do you feel having a type limits your ability to find a good partner?

Yes but not there are other limitations so even if I didn't have a type. Maybe there would still be other limitations. I am very particular about what I like.I don't even know/can't imagine what it would feel like not to have a type.

I think in my life I will be attracted to around 50 men. So he would have to be 1/50 who I'm attracted too, then a good person, then to my particular tastes.

The women I see who don't have a type seem like they date more often and with a greater range of men.

Edit : Range : I am fine with a range of color, not fine with a great range of personality or body type, usually introverts Enfp or Infp men.

Meallaire · 2026-05-21T22:23:21+00:00

Rather than having a "type" I'd say I developed a list of deal breakers and it just so happens that the men without those deal breakers tend to be the same - "soft", in touch with their feelings, intelligent, etc.

My type is someone who never ever makes me think of my dad. Rudeness that he's proud of, aggression, yelling, gluttony and selfishness, being incredibly self-centered, bad hygiene, addiction problems... all are deal breakers.

baller696969balls · 2026-05-22T11:00:45+00:00

Whatever vaguely reminds me of my current or past interests. Usually hair styles and fashion senses, but I will say that basically 90% of the time they have to have lean face and body structures. If I know them well enough and their personality reminds me of a character I like or something of the sort, I can get embarrassingly infatuated with them regardless of their looks.

Theawkwardmochi · 2026-05-22T14:30:46+00:00

So when you're about 4, the High Council of women assigns a type of man that you are supposed to be attracted to when you grow up, and the most senior female member of your family (typically at the age of 4 that will be your great grandmother) receives an exhaustive description of that type in a letter (very much like a Hogwarts letter but it's pink and has rhinestones on the envelope). After that, she will immediately destroy the letter and tell your grandmother and your grandmother will guide you to like the type of men you have been assigned, for example reading you bedtime stories that feature the type as a good character - that's why for some girls, the Prince from Snow White is blonde, slim and tall, and for some he is quite short, muscular and has deep brown hair. If the most senior member of your family has advanced dementia, that education might never happen, and that's how we have women who don't have a type. When you reach 50, the Council sends you a letter in which they describe the whole process and inform you that you will be sent the selection letter, should you be the most senior woman in a family with a young female offspring. You cannot tell anyone, else the Council can and will punish you

Just like men, women have likes and dislikes. Sometimes that only pertains to character , sometimes to looks, sometimes to both. They might develop and change over time, but you cannot change them yourself-it is impossible to force yourself to be turned on by something that doesn't turn you on.

RelativeCondition915 · 2026-05-23T20:57:54+00:00

I am capable of feeling attracted, interested, and safe with a certain kind of person.

Dating outside my type leads to boredom, resentment, and a lack of sex.

Title	How and when does a woman create a "type"?
Author	Ill-Investigator9546
Upvotes	0
Comments	148
Date	May 21, 2026 12:58 PM UTC (2 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1tjjr31/how_and_when_does_a_woman_create_a_type/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-and-when-does-a-woman-create-a-type.1580874 https://theredarchive.com/post/1580874

Comments