Dating the ugly girl won't save you.

YeaNobody · 2026-06-12T18:21:09+00:00

Look...I'm also just gonna lay the obvious out there....if the girl you're dating isn't attractive to you, you're pretending. Attraction matters, the magical fairly tale of personality trumps all is just that.

Flightlessbirbz · 2026-06-12T17:42:49+00:00

You’re right to some extent, but I don’t really see women claiming this. I see far more men claiming the ugly guy will treat women better and all of women’s dating problems are from chasing Chad, which is untrue for all the same reasons.

I also do not believe that all/most ugly women “want to be useful to more men sexually” by any means. Ugly women get used for sex, but that doesn’t mean they want that… it can be very painful for that to keep happening every time she thinks she’s found a guy who’s actually interested.

ta06012022 · 2026-06-12T23:06:19+00:00

At that point you might as well date the 5.5/10 and above because going lower doesn't mean she’ll treat you right.

Usually when people advise men to date less attractive women, it's because the men are complaining about a total lack of success. These aren't men who have the option of dating above average women. If they could, most would.

It's like telling men that if their low paying job treats you poorly, you might as well work in a high paying job. For most of the men working in low paring jobs, a high paying job isn't an option.

Bitch_King-of_Angmar · 2026-06-12T18:48:48+00:00

maybe you shouldn't date people you view as beneath you because you really can't hide your attitude for months or years. it leaks out. obviously i think it's wrong you got cheated on and i am sorry that happened, but you also probably signaled to her that you expected her to be grateful for you even picking her, and when you sense that in somebody you're dating, it's natural to lose respect for them.

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2026-06-12T17:55:30+00:00

I’ve seen guys date women just because they’re conventionally attractive and feminine but they then deal with a lot of the stereotypical relationship drama you might expect from a Stacy-esque hot girl. Not saying you should seek out “ugly” girls but sometimes what we think we should want and what we really want are two different things. A 10/10 you can’t hold a conversation with loses its luster pretty quickly.

Corbast7 · 2026-06-12T17:49:42+00:00

I have straight up never seen a woman on here claim that the opposite sex should date someone less attractive. I actually only ever see men here telling that to women. To “give guys a chance” and “stop being hypergamous” lol.

It’s also typically the women here (and blue flaired men) saying that beauty doesn’t correlate to good or bad character, that plenty of average looking men are great, etc. I do see a lot of red pill men on here though who claim that hot women are nicer and have better character than the “mids”…

Werevulvi · 2026-06-12T19:21:39+00:00

Maybe depends on the situation, like are we talking about someone's looks match here, or not? Is the guy truly desperate to get laid, or would he be fine with longer times of celibacy for the sake of focusing on women he's actually attracted to?

Because that changes the answer. Like if you have trouble attracting women you're attracted to, then you know what the options are, and it's up to you which one of those options you choose or don't choose to try. All us random plebs on the internet can do, is merely present what the options are, which may include "try dating an ugly girl" but we can't sit around and decide what's best for you. No one can.

Czerymoja · 2026-06-13T10:52:37+00:00

As an ugly woman I wish I could be stop seeing as this „starter pack” to man, it’s deeply unhumanizing.

JollyRoger66689 · 2026-06-12T17:30:11+00:00

Actually stats show ugly girls get laid more than attractive ones (general thought is less likely to get commitment and more likely to put out early due to wanting to be liked) so that seems like the opposite way to go if cheating is a concern........ and as a chubby chaser who also has low standards in general I can definitely confirm that yeah the ugly ones aren't immune to cheating

Edit: https://sci-hub.st/10.1080/19485565.2011.615172

Thanks pointlesslylongname0

Melodic_Structure928 · 2026-06-12T18:57:27+00:00

It’s often projection and ironically its usually the solution for women's dating problems as well just many view the average to even a bit above as the new ugly for men.

for men it’s much more likely to just have no one due to the above.

then again this sort of reads like on of those gender flipped scenarios.

Alone_Ambition_3729 · 2026-06-12T21:10:56+00:00

I feel like if you are/were comfortable referring to her as ugly, and hard to look at, your relationship with the girl who cheated on you might have had some issues straining it.

Date the girl in your league, not above, not below. And if that girl is not conventionally attractive, make sure you adore the attractive and/or cute physical traits she does have. Otherwise literally what’s the point? Stay single and make more platonic friends if you’re lonely. Fuck an escort every once in a while if you need to.

Mission-Pie-7192 · 2026-06-13T03:52:33+00:00

I think the problem is thinking anyone besides yourself can "save you".

Altruistic_Look_7868 · 2026-06-13T07:26:18+00:00

I'm pretty sure the idea behind that is that you're overestimating your league, and going after pretty girls is basically a fools errand. No one said that dating less attractive women meant a successful relationship, just that you had a chance at one in the first place lol

averageTdude · 2026-06-12T17:27:13+00:00

she wanted to be useful to more men sexually"

Bro. Reading that makes me wonder if you've ever had a gf

Lost_Reaction_5489 · 2026-06-12T19:50:33+00:00

You know this exact same thing is what women say about ugly men right? But, we need to be more specific. This is the case for anyone with low self-esteem who uses external validation as the main prop to their self-esteem. Nothing will ever be enough until they relocate their locus of self-worth internally. This means they'll get the relationship that they say they crave, but they are hollowed out and empty inside, and thus they need more to fulfill them.

y2kjanelle · 2026-06-12T23:49:07+00:00

Yeah looks don’t determine character. Plenty of ugly men here have proved that. We aren’t the ones claiming to go for the ugly one. Men are.

love_in_october · 2026-06-12T17:39:33+00:00

If a woman is less pretty, she's less likely to already be in a relationship or getting any attention and more likely to be desperate. Aren't men here always complaining about women with too many options being too picky? Pick a woman with less options then...or maybe you're picky too.

PuzzleheadedRow9896 · 2026-06-12T20:15:08+00:00

I only ever tell men to date uglier girls to get a better chance at dating anyone. Unlike morons here, I do not believe behavior is skin-deep. Only desperation.

esdebah · 2026-06-12T22:27:24+00:00

Oh, woman with self esteem issues are definitely more likely to cheat. That kinda goes for men, too. This is also why jealous SO's tend to end up cheating.

BanDeezNutzPlease · 2026-06-13T01:22:06+00:00

You're right. Natural physical attractiveness has nothing to do with personality. Ugly women aren't necessarily "easier" either. That's why I generally won't waste my time or energy on women I'm not attracted to. I have to put a bunch of effort into pursuing a women regardless of her physical attractiveness and more effort if I'm in a relationship with a woman regardless of her physical attractiveness.

Objective_Ad_6265 · 2026-06-13T09:12:51+00:00

There is no point dating people you don't actually desire to begin with. You got what you deserve.

RobynBirhd · 2026-06-13T12:29:16+00:00

Same goes the opposite way.

criticalcry-tactic00 · 2026-06-13T15:00:34+00:00

In my experience, ugly women are often worse then beautiful women, because they want to act a sort of "revenge" on men. So they will misbehave and manipulate more often. Also, men mistakenly think ugly women are easier and less picky, so they get flooded with online requests even more then beautiful ones.

Prestigious-Smoke511 · 2026-06-12T18:03:31+00:00

I think everyone should date below their own perceived market value to some extent as a rule of thumb. It widens their pool, keeps them sharper on dating in general (go on more dates so when you do find the person you want to be with, your game isn't rusty and you're not desperate to make it work. You're more seasoned).

I also think mid market women are much better at this as a general rule. When incel's see women "settling" for a beta, they're not realizing that the other way to spin that is that wanted to date Chad's, every woman does, but she also dated in lower markets too and found someone that wasn't SIMPLY chiseled abs but someone that reads the same types of book and has the same types of goals for work, family, etc.

When it comes to the way pair bonding works, it's all a little mysterious. an 8 (guy or gal) could go on a couple dates with a 6 just because they seemed cool and needed something to do on Friday night and end up getting hooked. Maybe that 6 isn't just a 6 but is actually this weird perfect match and they're finishing each other's sentances. Chemistry is real. If that 8 holds out for ONLY 8 or better, they miss something amazing.

I personally know, off the top of my head, two beautiful women who are now pushing 40 and just haven't had luck with love. Kinda perpetually single and even when they do date it just appears awkward from the outside. These women might be asexual or on the autism spectrum or something else I'm not aware of, but I think they just have incredible standards. They want perfection in a man and that's not unreasonable as they are both fairly perfect IMO (both have successful careers and technically don't need to find a man to pay their bills or anything like that). It's more crowded at the top than we realize. The kind of guy they're looking for might not have waited around for someone perfect. They're the tall dark and handsome 10 who got swept off his feet by a fast talking 8 who took initiative.

Get out there and date people! Not every single cup of coffee needs to be with your soulmate. Go on some dates with people you are iffy about. You'll be surprised! You'll meet cool people and most importantly, you'll learn a TON about yourself in the process!

PendingDecision · 2026-06-12T21:36:23+00:00

I always aim for top tier ones. Their rejection doesn't really hurt me, haha. Also what is the point of dating if the woman is not hot and attractive to you? You are just playing a lose-lose game. That said, in my opinion "ugly" is also relative (for most cases i think)

Odd-Help6890 · 2026-06-12T18:08:22+00:00

Most guys would rather just stay single, happily, than date an ugly girl. Stop with this false narrative that men are so desperate to just date anyone. Sure men will happily have sexs with ugly women, very few would marry one unless it is their lookmatch.

These false narrative this subreddit tries to push hard, very few men are single because they literally have no options.

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BlackTransMaam2 · 2026-06-12T22:51:06+00:00

The fact less attractive women will monkey branch the moment they get better options shows it's universal. They're just less likely to have a better branch.

Reasonable_Mouse789 · 2026-06-12T17:41:58+00:00

I’m guessing the women you have in mind would like you more if you self improved physically

The difficult part to debate is that lowering your physical standards will always get you more attention. First start at being 6” taller, equal in fitness, and equal facially. Then be 8”+ taller, more fit, and a bit better looking facially. Then add in overweight women. Then add obese women.

There’s typically no scenario where lowering standards further won’t improve your results

mobjack · 2026-06-12T17:59:09+00:00

Men usually date ugly women casually.

The reason that a ugly woman would date around is because no one will commit to her for something serious.

Numerous-Month-7688 · 2026-06-12T18:05:05+00:00

they dont lust for average men either.

Zabadoodude · 2026-06-12T19:14:13+00:00

I've been with women that were very conventionally attractive, and ones that would probably be considered below average. The good looking ones were harder to get, but better girlfriends. They're less jaded, less insecure and genuinely want to be with their boyfriends, rather than settling because they can't do better.

At least that's been my personal experience.

DenverKim · 2026-06-13T18:16:42+00:00

There’s truth in this on the other angle as well. Dating ugly men is a nightmare. They are usually the most insecure men, which makes them impossible to live with. Their insecurity will make your life miserable and can even become dangerous. They often have absolutely no self-confidence and no respect for themselves, which means they will have no respect for you. They think that if you are with them, then something must be wrong with you and they will treat you accordingly. It’s very rare that they are actually good men at heart. They are usually just wounded narcissists, which is a very bad combination. You have much much more to worry about than just cheating when it comes to these men… they will project all of their self loathing directly on to you because they need everyone else to feel as miserable as they do.

And what’s worse, it’s not even just ugly men who do this… Sometimes it’s just normal men who believe they are ugly. Or they think they are short. Or they think their dick is too small. Whatever it is… If they are extremely insecure, then they are often dangerous.

BrainMarshal · 2026-06-12T17:39:13+00:00

The ugliest woman will have more sexual and romantic/relationship leverage than the hottest man.

Kaleidoscopetide · 2026-06-12T18:13:23+00:00

“she wanted to be useful to more men sexually for the validation” genuine question why do you think women like sex

KoninginVanRotterdam · 2026-06-13T21:36:47+00:00

I don't doubt that you're right, because the same goes for ugly men, I just want to know what you mean with:

She wanted to be useful to more men sexually for the validation.

Do you think the the reason women have sex and the joy they get from sex is because they are = being useful to a man?

Title	Dating the ugly girl won't save you.
Author	RiceApprehensive483
Upvotes	49
Comments	173
Date	June 12, 2026 5:23 PM UTC (1 month ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1u41qm7/dating_the_ugly_girl_wont_save_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/dating-the-ugly-girl-wont-save-you.1582655 https://theredarchive.com/post/1582655

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