Are you a believer of the "Men shouldn't hit women" mentality?

GridReXX · 2017-01-12T12:01:53+00:00

People shouldn't hit other people.

Im about 40 lbs heavier than a friend of mine. She's short and prob like 90 lbs for all I know.

Let's say she provoked me into a fight.

1) she shouldn't because I would crush her.

2) if she actually did, I would be very mindful not to go full hulk on her because I'm pretty aware that I'm stronger than her. I lift at the gym. She's never lifted a 5 lb weight.

So yes, unless you want to end up in jail for accidentally concussing or maiming or killing someone, the stronger person should be mindful.

But the weaker person shouldn't provoke fights they know they can't win.

BiggerDthanYou · 2017-01-12T11:25:01+00:00

I'm a strong believer in using adequate force.

IamTheWalkingMenu · 2017-01-12T14:55:22+00:00

A guy in this situation should try his best to get out of it or not into it in the first place. There's no way to "win" even if you are "right"

BubbleAndSqueakk · 2017-01-12T11:27:10+00:00

Self-defence should apply regardless of gender. If a woman is attacking you, defend yourself. That said, expressing your aggression with physical violence isn't right no matter who you are (this includes women slapping men).

[deleted] · 2017-01-12T12:18:49+00:00

If it's in self-defence you should be able to react in the same way you would to a man. That's equality. If she doesn't like it she shouldn't go picking fights.

Offhisgame · 2017-01-12T11:20:36+00:00

People should keep their hands to themselves. Period. You don't get to beat people up because you have a vagina. Fuck outta here.

JaggedYellowPill · 2017-01-12T11:58:39+00:00

If a person attacks another person, the attacked person has a right to defend himself/herself, but also has a responsibility to not escalate. If a weak person hits a strong person, and the strong person hits the weak person back, that typically constitutes an escalation, which risks further escalation from the other side. The better course of action is to remove yourself from the situation or nonviolently subdue the other party. Those aren't always feasible so at times escalation is the only option.

yetieater · 2017-01-12T12:15:03+00:00

I agree with it as a general principle. It's mostly told to boys who might do so in the schoolyard - I distinctly remember during my father teaching me to fight him setting down that rule.

However, in adult life the number of circumstances where you might even consider doing so are limited - clearly it is still good as a principle against domestic violence. All other circumstances I can immediately think of are either covered by self-defence or general principles against unprovoked violence.

I'd teach it to a son, though.

BeyondTheLight · 2017-01-12T11:05:41+00:00

I am all for equal oppertunity beatings. I might give people that I know are weaker a bit more leeway, but if you push me that far, then in the wise words of random ghetto blacks "gonn whoop dat ass!".

Electra_Cute · 2017-01-12T12:10:59+00:00

I think men who would hit a woman would do it despite being told not to.

ThrowawayCactus6012 · 2017-01-12T12:36:07+00:00

Looking at it from a legal standpoint, nobody should hit anybody, period. It's against the law to hit people, except in self-defense.

The idea that "men should not hit women" comes from an older, more traditional time, but it also implies that there are times when men can (or should) hit other men. Like if a man insults another man, it's a point of honor that there should be some sort of violent response.

The-os · 2017-01-12T12:42:18+00:00

Stating that the average * person * is weaker, is an argument I never understood. If you are weaker, you should bear the responsibility of not provoking the stronger one. For obvious reasons. Just because you are a woman should not excempt you for that. Instead, the woman should think long and hard whether the provoking is worth it.

Nexavus · 2017-01-12T12:48:50+00:00

Don't hit people. It's pretty simple. However, you have a right to self defense no matter who attacks you.

mrcs84usn · 2017-01-12T12:36:20+00:00

I'm a fan of not poking the bear. Violence begets violence, and if some 115lbs 5'5" woman attacks a 200lbs 6'0" man, I really have no qualms with him knocking her on her ass. Not so much because I think she deserves to get brutally beaten, but so she gets a reality check, and it discontinues the cycle.

From what I've seen, people really have no reservations about "pulling punches" when it comes to the same sex, but men are supposed to reserve themselves with women attackers.

rulenumber303 · 2017-01-12T14:38:46+00:00

I believe that where there is a large strength difference between people for whatever reason, the stronger person needs to consider that difference in how they treat the weaker person, including in making their choices when defending themselves. For example, if a frail elderly person lost their temper and attacked me, even as a woman of average strength I could probably break them in half... should I? No. I should not deliberately break someone's grandpa in half just because he's an irritable old scrote who thinks he's allowed to lay hands on me. Between me and the police we hopefully should be able to organize things so that doesn't happen. But maybe he's gonna get knocked to the ground if I'm taken by surprise.

And that's pretty much how I feel about the impact of strength differences on self defence.

squirrels33 · 2017-01-12T19:04:13+00:00

Are you a believer of the "Men shouldn't hit women" mentality?

Yup, and I'm also a believer in the "Women shouldn't hit men", "Men shouldn't hit men", and "Women shouldn't hit women" mentalities.

DarkLord0chinChin · 2017-01-12T11:55:20+00:00

If they're attractive women.. I'll probably let them hit me.. Except they probably never will anyways, sigh..

If they're a rabid fat feminist kind I'd probably run away, realistically. If there is no escape then I'd probably grab their hands and try to calm them the fuck down.

If there is real danger I'd not hold myself back though.

DebatePony · 2017-01-12T12:53:20+00:00

I'm a strong believer that people shouldn't hit other people unless it's in self defense.

darla10 · 2017-01-12T13:07:31+00:00

I'm a believer in "civilized people shouldn't hit other people" mentality. If you do, you are a savage or a child.

5th_Law_of_Robotics · 2017-01-12T13:35:46+00:00

I don't think adults should hit each other in general.

But when violence is necessary it should be applied equally and for the same reasons.

Alth12 · 2017-01-12T13:56:06+00:00

Shouldn't ever be violent for the sake of violence. I have personal experience of this. An ex girlfriend of mine took it upon herself to punch me not once but three times in the face because she took exception to me telling people (only those who asked) why I wasn't speaking to her or my former best friend.

The first couple of times I backed away and tried to place objects between us, the third time I hit her hard in the face and knocked her down. Luckily it was a crowded bar and a lot of people saw it all play out. Didn't stop a police woman trying to twist it into me hitting a defenseless woman and trying to provoke me again by saying I wasn't a man etc.

Overall my punching her back wasn't worth the hassle. What should of been a cut and dry incident was blown up because it was a man hitting a woman, and the female officer in particular really wanted to paint me as abusive.

The law is really anti men on things like this due to the few pathetic bitchboys who make a habit of beating up women. So in private never hit a woman no matter what she does, that ends poorly for guys.

Christian_Kong · 2017-01-12T16:02:30+00:00

I do not believe in this %100. Under most circumstances a man can keep a woman at bay or restrain her. If a woman is coming after a man with a knife I say hitting is fair game. There is a line where hitting is necessary or at least a very good option, but I don't think most women will ever cross that.

[deleted] · 2017-01-12T18:02:09+00:00

Very bad idea to ask people to 'keep it civil', because that means you will not get the truth out of many Red Pillers.

We've all seen those comments on the Red Pill in which you bemoaned the modern domestic violence laws which forbid you from 'disciplining' your wife, guys. You've got nothing to hide.

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lbspredh · 2017-01-12T12:10:36+00:00

Nah I have a hit nobody unless in self defence mentality, when shit gets real though I'm thinking free for all. Adequate force in self defence is to kill or fuck up your attacker so badly they can never be a threat again

quicklogaccount · 2017-01-12T12:40:36+00:00

This is a bit complicated. I suppose you won't question self defense, but proportionate response, right?

Some societies, such as mine, aren't accepting of proportionate responses. When they are, if you account for one's physical resistance as a criteria for his right to act, you'll create an issue. The aggressions are both physical and psychological and his physical resistance will render him forbidden of protecting himself from the other kinds of aggression he's being subjected to.

In societies that think proportionate response is reasonable, one's resistance or strength doesn't undermine its right to respond. In such societies, the fact Ronda can take a "regular" jab to her nose and smile afterwards doesn't make it unfair for her to give her aggressor the same jab back, maybe to break his jaw.

Ultramegasaurus · 2017-01-12T13:38:36+00:00

The strength argument doesn't fly since even light slaps, of which women are equally capable, from a man are considered abhorrent while a woman going all-out is not.

goatismycopilot · 2017-01-12T13:42:34+00:00

I don't think adults should hit one another.

prodigy2throw · 2017-01-12T14:16:39+00:00

I think it should be okay if you're hit first. In reality it's just never worth it. I don't need a criminal record over a dumb entitled woman.

[deleted] · 2017-01-12T15:15:59+00:00

Nah. Hit away.

http://m.imgur.com/1kQPNSF

Hell it was women who talked me into slapping a girl when she needs it and oh hell yes it works wonders. But if you mean hitting like a solid real punch? No that would seriously harm her. A nice solid open hand slap should be enough.

InformalCriticism · 2017-01-12T15:58:07+00:00

TL;DR: Men shouldn't hit women for more reasons than just strength disparity, but there are times where it is appropriate.

I've not really put words to it before, since I've never been put in a "truly" life or death situation. I've been in a small number of physical fights, but most of my competition has been wrestling, sparring, never full competition bouts, and horsing around.

I've never given anyone the full measure of my strength with the intent to harm. Absolutely every punch I've thrown and every technical movement I've made has never been intended to "end" anyone.

That being said, I go easier on women in those situations, and I've always believed that the minimum amount of force necessary to end a situation is a noble, reasonable, and responsible use of force.

I don't anticipate ever having to use more than technical movements to handle a woman, but I think the same rules apply. The minimum amount of force is always appropriate, no matter the gender of an aggressor.

Having said that, women are not typically violent in ways that are life threatening. And while I was physically abused by my ex off and on for 10 months, I never struck her. I always used my words, and restrained her if she became violent.

I think I'm still predisposed to this rational restraint, knowing what I know about how men are treated by law enforcement and subsequently courts, I would do everything I could to avoid violence for fear of being misrepresented in court. No man should ever get entangled with a woman, not because moral virtues would dictate it, but because the bias against men in courts means no justice would ever be guaranteed. A judge can simply "not like you", and you're fucked. No lawyer can save you from bias.

That being said, I do enjoy seeing videos where women finally cross the wrong man, probably going years with nothing but net in their past without seeing any consequences of their actions.

I don't know many women who realize exactly how strong men are compared to them. I'm not particularly strong, and I've been told by my girlfriend I have "squeezed" her in bed while I'm asleep, she felt like she was completely trapped, couldn't get away, and is in danger of suffocation. She has only related this to me once, so it's not like I'm a sleep-walking murderer, but it was a gentle reminder that this woman, 23 years old at the time, regularly passing physical fitness tests for her job, trained in basic survival techniques, was completely overwhelmed by me in my sleep - when I wasn't even trying.

Violence is bad, um'kugh-ay?

Edit: terrible, terrible grammar.

[deleted] · 2017-01-12T16:42:02+00:00

I'm going to answer this twice: my personal perspective and what I've told my children.

Personally, I still live by the "never hit a woman" mantra, but that is a personal choice. However I will NOT say that I'd go too far out of my way to minimize the "hurt" I'd inflict on a woman trying to kick my ass, but I'd still at least try to do so.

I've told my boys pretty much this: "If a woman squares up to you and throws a punch, my suggestion is do what you can to control the situation WITHOUT resorting to escalating violence against her, BUT I suggest the same thing with a man. The goal isn't to hurt them but to control the threat. That being said? If she (or he) continues to push you, lay her the hell out. Make it accurate and fast. You WILL look like the asshole, but that will do FAR less damage to her than continuing to grapple around"

To my girls: "If you get in a man's face with the intent to cause violience, be fully prepared to get knocked the fuck out. (and yes, I used those exact words) NO man owes you his consideration if you are threatening his physical safety, and as such be prepared for him to deal with you as a LEGITIMATE threat with all due violence. "

And to both I added: "violence is rarely the answer, so don't go LOOKING for it. But if it finds you? Deal with it effectively and quickly as best you can for you own safety."

DicklessAlpha · 2017-01-12T17:30:57+00:00

If she is being a real shithead you'll hit her on instinct.Doesn't matter what you believe in.

brewmastermonk · 2017-01-12T18:01:52+00:00

My mom came at my dad once with a knife. She got hit and restrained. She totally deserved it.

Spez: Sometimes women take for granted that men dont hit girls and try to take advantage of that fact. In extreme situations, it's perfectly okay to remind them why.

Entropy-7 · 2017-01-12T18:04:05+00:00

I don't hit women but that is for legal reasons rather than some ingrained aversion. If a chick had a weapon, that would be a different story.

When I was in law school my live in GF smacked me and I socked her with a pillow. Cue the Benny Hill music as the 5'2" asian chick chases the 5'10" white guy around the apartment. It ended with me in a corner using a broom to keep her at bay; I guess she realized the absurdity of the situation and finally gave up trying to beat on me.

CaptainNeeMoNoy · 2017-01-12T18:21:38+00:00

Not a single one of the bloops whinging about "proportionate response" would bat an eye if a small, weak man attacked a larger dude and got knocked on his ass. As they do in all things, they make a special exception for women because they're gynocentric.

If a woman starts a fight with a man, even if she just slaps him, (which is apparently an OK thing for a woman to do according to many blues in this thread) then she fully deserves to get punched in the face and knocked out. SHE escalated the confrontation from peaceful to physically violent, thus there's absolutely nothing wrong with the man escalating it from violent to even more violent.

Obviously I wouldn't be OK with a man curb-stomping a woman after she slapped him, but a certain amount of escalation should be expected when starting a fight. Maybe if more men were willing to KO women who attacked them, and if our courts weren't heavily biased against men, women wouldn't feel as though they have a free pass to be physically violent to us. Unfortunately, many of them do.

phantasic79 · 2017-01-12T18:46:54+00:00

I will assault any women that is attacking my child or elderly parents with the same amount of force. I will stab a hot terrorist chick in the eyeball with my Bic pen if necessary but just hitting a girl because she made you upset is a dick move.

[deleted] · 2017-01-12T18:50:10+00:00

I don't really care. I'd advise a friend not to strike anyone first unless it's preemptive.

But if two men are arguing and one of them is acting like a bitch, I won't get on any "be the bigger man" high horse if a punch is thrown.

Same goes for if a man and woman are arguing and the woman is being a bitch.

[deleted] · 2017-01-12T19:42:44+00:00

If you go around putting your hands on people and acting crazy then it's your own fault when your actions get you hurt.

Skinny weak guys can't go around putting their hands on bigger guys, they'll get beat the fukk up.

Women shouldn't be held to a different standard. If a woman goes crazy on you treat her like you would an insignificant lil skinny guy who thinks he's untouchable.

That's equality.

[deleted] · 2017-01-12T19:48:19+00:00

deleted ^{^{^What}} ^{^{^is}} ^{^{^this?}}

[deleted] · 2017-01-12T19:58:47+00:00

I support the way rapper lil Reese handled this situation.

https://youtu.be/3lDmS6zw81c

Btw listen for the guy at the end:

"Now get outta here, BITCH"

😸

seeing_it_in_red · 2017-01-12T21:22:11+00:00

As far as I'm concerned, you're always entitled to the ability to defend yourself. Its when excessive force is used that the issue gets blurred.

purpleppp · 2017-01-12T21:27:46+00:00

I think a woman and a man of the same strength should be treated equally.

anitapk · 2017-01-12T21:55:12+00:00

No, if women are violent men should retaliate. Especially when they are abusive against kids, it should be accepted by law.

Subway_Bernie_Goetz · 2017-01-12T22:36:48+00:00

Having this as a rule gives some women cover to hit their men, because they "aren't allowed" to hit back. It also allows women to control their men. A common one is when there is a disagreement and the woman will block the doorway, preventing the man from the leaving the room. He has to push through her to leave, at which point she will feign injury, thus automatically making him the bad guy. This is bad for everyone and it gives women a false sense of security. Some women take that rule for granted and then try to get tough with the wrong dude and they find out the hard way that the "men can't hit women" is a social convention, not an ironclad law of physics.

When a guy hits a guy and it wasn't self-defense, it's wrong. But there are also situations where it was wrong, but the guy kinda had it coming. Likewise, I think there are situations with women where the guy was wrong to hit her, but she had it coming. I think it's important to discriminate between situations where the guy is abusive just because he's abusive and situations where the guy was provoked, even if the provocation itself was not violence. Both are wrong, but they are very different and warrant different responses.

[deleted] · 2017-01-12T23:17:17+00:00

Yes, unless the man is very elderly or disabled, or unless the woman is armed. If a 20 year old kickboxing woman is beating on an 80 year old grandpa it might be permissible for Grandpa to strike back. Otherwise, the man should block, dodge, or run away, and restrain the woman only if absolutely necessary.

darksoldierk · 2017-01-13T01:13:11+00:00

I'm of the belief that men should be free to hit women who hit them first. Me and my friends hit each other hard. Hell, one time, I asked a buddy to punch me in the face cause I was having a really bad day and thought that it would help (I dunno why I thought that, maybe because of fight club or something?), but in reality, it did help a bit. I'm not saying men should be hitting women in that same way, but if she hits you, you should be able to hit her back.

[deleted] · 2017-01-13T11:19:44+00:00

I believe that self defense is legitimate and have to be proportional. So if a woman attack you you have the right to defense yourself, even hitting her but it has to be proportional. Not breaking her jaw because she slapped you

Shazoa · 2017-01-13T15:10:01+00:00

People shouldn't hit eachother period.

The reasons, for me, that it's more often said that way around are: men are more often seen to physically abuse partners (it's probably more common, but male victims still come forward less) and that men are generally more able to cause harm to a woman than the other way around.

Madness20 · 2017-01-13T16:15:57+00:00

I would make no distinction on gender on this case. Pretty much anyone should know there are lines for which crossing those means someone deserves a punch/slap in the face. When i was a 5th grader i had a (girl) classmate and bigger than me that out of nothing started wanting to bully me and push me around just because i had an higher grade than her. I got so fed up that i slapped her in the face and then had to face all repercursions from the white knight army that came to defend her, and obviously i end up having to change schools in the next year due to being "unadappted" on that school anymore. Still don't regret it.

Leinadro · 2017-01-13T18:55:47+00:00

I beleieve a man should be able to protect himself from a woman. There shouldnt be some bullshit where a mam has to check and meter his response depending on if a man or a woman is attacking him.

When a man attacks a woman you dont see many people saying she should meter her response and try not to kill even when she has a weapon. But when its the other way around suddenly making sure he doesnt hurt her matters more than his own safety.

Oh and one more thing for those that do think a man shouldnt hit a woman. If men shouldnt hit women then why doesnt anyone seem to care about stopping women from being hit until AFTER they have started the confrontation.

If you look at those videos where a man punches or slaps the hell out of a woman that attacked him first you'll see people get up in arms about how he was wrong to hit her back. Well if thats such a big deal then why didnt anyone try to stop her from starting the fight in the first place?

Most likely because people like that are totally okay with women attacking men.

Macheako · 2017-01-13T21:12:56+00:00

See, this is something I got a hard time understanding when I look out at the world ocean wave sounds in the background

Why are we SO against Physical Force??? (And don't say "violence" ya jerks cause that just immediately put a negative spin on it)

Is slapping someone ONCE, really violent? Or is repeatedly slapping them AFTER they complied with your request violent? So let's try and have a little nuance here, please people :P

I don't get it because, don't we also consider words as harmful to people? And, I mean, the whole reason we look down on Physical Force is because it can hurt someone, right? If we talk about permanent scars from physical damage, well isn't it possible that someone's emotions get scarred for their life by something really really f--ked up someone said? So you're allowed to say THE most awful, vile, disgusting thing in a relationship...but you're not allowed to slap em?

....

Does anyone else see the inconsistency here? If you're telling me a slap is more "hurtful" to a woman then telling her about all the different ways she's nothing more than a hole to f--k her entire life...then...I'm just not sure you understand human emotions O.o lol.

To be fair though this ain't a "fun" conversation haha, really, this is a doozie, so I mean, really, there is no single "good" answer to it. Personally, I WANT to go through my life without ever hitting a woman...or a man for that matter. But nobody gets exactly what they want. So would I hit a b-tch? You bet your bottom dollar!!! lol But the circumstances would likely be pretty f--king rare. But OF COURSE I reserve my right to pop a b-tch if she's threatening my own life status. Honestly though, I don't think hitting is all that necessary, I can restrain her plenty of different ways without givin her a black eye.

I think a better question might be "Is there any situation where a Man needs to hit a Woman?", and my answer to that would probably be "few and far in between". It really should be your LAST resort, but on that note I also think some men should be given SOME lee way when they get caught for hittin some chick. The fact that police defacto hold the man accountable and he alone usually faces charges is something we REALLY gotta address.

Superfluous_Toast · 2017-01-13T23:23:17+00:00

I feel like the answer to this question is obvious. If you are being attacked by someone, their gender should not have any bearing on whether you defend yourself from them or not. You should, however, aim only to stop them from hurting you. Minimize damage done, incapacitate them if you must, but do no more harm than necessary.

EliteSpartanRanger · 2017-01-14T05:48:03+00:00

If he can get himself out of the situation safely without resorting to force then no, he shouldn't hit women. In fact, I'd say the same for another guy. If anyone can get out of a situation safely without resorting to physical force then physical force should not be used. Since women are usually physically weaker than men, most of the time, I would say that the man can get himself safely out of the situation without force, so no, he shouldn't hit women. If the woman has a weapon, or is really strong and posing an actual threat, then he should use force to defend himself, but if she's just slapping him and cursing at him and not actually causing any harm he should just leave.

[deleted] · 2017-01-12T12:37:07+00:00

i generally believe that no one should be hitting anyone if it can be avoided ("well they just deserve a good knocking around!" is not an acceptable reason to me). but yes, i think it's the responsibility of a stronger person to use only an appropriate amount force if they're going to hit someone at all. there's a lot of space between laying someone out cold and shoving them, for instance; there's no need to use the maximum force with everyone, all the time (if ever).

it's the same if some scrawny teen guy tried to pick a fight with a professional fighter; obviously if the kid just shoved the fighter, it would be ridiculous for the fighter to respond by beating the shit out of the guy who couldn't even defend himself, whether it was stupid to pick that fight or not.

alreadyredschool · 2017-01-12T11:04:37+00:00

You also shouldn't kill anyone. But self defense is a reasonable reason to ignore that rule.

EchoZeroEleven · 2017-01-12T14:08:01+00:00

The prospect of hitting women really displeases me. Certainly I'd never hit first.

If I'm being attacked by a woman, then it's best to disarm and walk away. If it must go further, then perhaps a slap.

Using a fist or weapon against her? Not only way too much, but also brings the hell of cultural and law enforcement backlash.

jonathan88876 · 2017-01-12T14:32:09+00:00

Personally, I would never act violently toward a woman unless the life of my girlfriend/wife or hypothetical children were at stake. Even if it were my own life, I'd rather live for 21 years and have my family and friends be proud of me than live for 60 more with a blackened name and a cloud of shame hanging over my head knowing that I was a coward.

Title	Are you a believer of the "Men shouldn't hit women" mentality?
Author	Kizrock94
Upvotes	17
Comments	273
Date	January 12, 2017 10:58 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/5nircw/are_you_a_believer_of_the_men_shouldnt_hit_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/are-you-a-believer-of-the-men-shouldnt-hit-women.270681 https://theredarchive.com/post/270681

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