Modern women and modern men are not compatible

UndeadRhodesian · 2021-06-29T11:15:37+00:00

People will likely retort that Internet communities aren’t a good sample, but they’re missing the point. Critical thinking of dating strategy for either sex produces hilariously immoral, degenerate behavior that - unfortunately - works, remarkably well at that, and for both sexes. These strats might have worked in a pre-modern age, but they have never been more lethal than now. The anonymity of OLD and the sexual liberation of the 60s has combined to create a consequence-free, digital playground for any willful manipulator.

The logical conclusion of maximizing your own romantic success is dating strategies, and the dating strategies which work best are FDS/TRP adjacent for both sexes (not that either has an orthodoxy or anything). That is simply the reality before us. How do we reconcile that and produce a dating strategy that satisfies both sides? We probably don’t.

0seagirl · 2021-06-29T12:22:02+00:00

The more i dig into, mgtow, fds, trp, exredpill and even purple pill the more i see why traditional marriage will not work in todays society.

I honestly think the more time you spend in these places the more likely you are to conclude the worst about men and women. But not every man and woman subscribes to these kind of beliefs, which, let's face it, approach extremist levels at times.

Am i missing something here?

Go outside, go for a walk, spend some time people-watching. Most people generally aren't operating like MGTOW, fds, red pill, etc. Most people wouldn't even have a clue what you were talking about if you brought up these terms and belief systems, and many people who do will just observe them out of humor or shock factor rather than get on board with them.

PlayfulLawyer · 2021-06-29T18:03:19+00:00

Well people are going to say that some of these online communities are a small sample size and not realistic but I remember hearing about this 40 new genders it's a little over ten years ago and now it's crept into many workplaces even with in politics, so it can happen oh, so while I think for the foreseeable future it's still going to be that standard of men and women being together, slowly but surely you might see some of the bulshit creep in and ruin everything even more ,not to mention what tech will do

wtknight · 2021-06-29T12:27:56+00:00

Mature people learn how to compromise in order to create relationships where neither party’s happiness is maximized but where both people end up mutually happy together. Immature, selfish people don’t care about this, though. I think there will always be happy relationships because many people do have and will continue to have the maturity to compromise, but it does seem like fewer people are willing to compromise in this culture of selfishness today.

People who try to compromise and just keep meeting selfish people unwilling to compromise just need to have the patience in order to meet the right person. Usually it’s people who date out of their league who end up with someone who isn’t willing to compromise because he/she has other, better options. But some people are just selfish to everyone they date because they are, at their core, misogynists or misandrists.

343_peaches_and_tea · 2021-06-29T11:25:20+00:00

Ummmmm... then who are the parents at the parents groups I go to?

Who am I?

Who is my wife?

Are we not compatible now?

Facetiousness aside, a lot of people around me are in LTRs. Millennials are getting married and having kids. Even the ones I didn't meet through my son.

Keep in mind that a lot of Libfems in real life live like Tradcons. They don't sleep around a huge amount, they just advocate against slut shaming. There are some high N count Libfems but in my experience they're less common than everyone makes out. Like everyone else here I do obviously live in my bubble.

It's gen Z where I see a lot of single people and people saying they're not going to have children ever.

Could that change? I have no idea. We can only wait and see.

Freevoulous · 2021-06-29T11:58:29+00:00

Traditional marriage is toast.

Kindly reminder that what we consider a "traditional marriage" was invented in 1960s.

Throughout history, marriage was a legal institution to share wealth, raise kids and build a household. Love, romance, sex - none of it was really important. Men had mistresses and used prostitutes all the time, and wives often had lovers. Nobody batted an eye unless it threatened the stability of the household.

Today, we see several trends:

- raise of sexless and love-less men

- erosion of monogamy

- delaying of the first LTR/marriage

- cohabitation without marriage

- serial marriages or medium term relationships

- raise of childlessness as a cultural choice not a tragedy

Atop of that, we live longer and longer lives, are sexually active earlier, and remain active to later age. A modern woman loses her virginity at 15 and is likely to still get some romance/sex past her 70th birthday. Its pretty impossible for a monogamous relationship to last that long.

the long term outcome is likely going to be that desirable men and women will live in open relationships aimed only to last long enough to fulfill an objective (ex" raise children together, help each other pay off college, etc), and then dissolve. This means that there will be some "trickle down" of love and sex to the less desirable, due to sheer math, but also that sex and love are going to be completely separate issues.

I could totally see two people living together, and even raising kids together, but almost never having sex with one another or sharing any romance, instead having "side-people" for that.

801735 · 2021-06-29T11:24:02+00:00

Am i missing something here?

Yes, I think you are. The younger people observe the outcomes of the decisions older guys and gals in their social reach make. And they adjust accordingly.

The pendulum never ceases swinging from one side to the other.

That said, I think your description of the current situation, the divide, is on point.

Elevatedheart · 2021-06-29T12:42:14+00:00

It’s all the negative marital facts that happened in previous generations that is feared, none of the benefits of it were mentioned. Marriage was intended for creation of new human beings, devotion, integrity, protection, sharing, and obviously Union.. This for the modern person takes WORK.. and that doesn’t fit well with the new instant gratification generation, with the “ you can do it my way if you want to be with me, but I’m not compromising with your way” . Selfishness promotes division.. division lacks the capability to unify with a partner in either a healthy compromise or Union. Lack of communication and connection destroys relationships.. pure and simple..

And the attitude that’s theirs always someone better isn’t always true either.. In order to eliminate toxic partners, we have to lead by example, let the person self destruct before you leave them.. they may leave you first if your setting the healthier example out of shame and pride.. but it may be the only way you can at least end the relationship in the form of service for them, even if they aren’t the right person. Give them the opportunity to reflect upon how they failed the relationship.

The expression that it takes 2 to ruin a relationship, I don’t buy 100% either.. If I’m giving 100% to work on the relationship and the other is demonstrating bad selfish behavior.. than it’s really not both people ruining it..

ToughAnswers · 2021-06-29T15:41:10+00:00

mgtow, fds, trp, exredpill and even purple pill

Are canaries in the coalmine, of normie middle class society at least...the working/lower classes have been infiltrated for some time. End results: households headed by mothers and children raised jointly with kin

Physiologist21 · 2021-06-29T17:09:55+00:00

The risk of divorce rape isnt worth it for men The risk of being in a controling abusive relationship isnt worth it for women

Yeah, except there is a giant statistical disparity between both occurrences lol.

7SovarN · 2021-06-29T14:21:22+00:00

The sexual revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for mankind.

mimblezimble · 2021-06-29T13:17:43+00:00

we just use disposeable short term relationships to fill voids we have from being alone ... there is always somebody better or who will treat us better.

Serial monogamy does not work for women because, as women keep getting older, they will increasingly be moving to men of lower and lower SMV value, until at some point, they realistically can no longer find any man at all, and become cat ladies.

Concerning "there is always someone better", this illusion is dangerous to women, because the older a woman gets, the more the next man will be someone worse; and not better. On the contrary, the "better ones" will resolutely be going for younger women than her.

The best man you can get at the age of 45 will be of much lower value than the one you could still get when you were 18. A lot of women run into serious trouble by ignoring that otherwise very basic principle.

gunbusterxl · 2021-06-29T11:04:45+00:00

You're missing demographics. PPD is not real life. The vast majority of people are not like this.

Xx_SwordWords_xX · 2021-06-29T10:58:30+00:00

Brave New World - by Aldous Huxley

no_user_ID_found · 2021-06-29T19:29:48+00:00

When you look into your own social circles, how many are in a committed relationship and how many arent? Compare what you read in online community’s to what you see in real life. What do you see?

alberto-hoff · 2021-06-29T11:06:26+00:00

The bat-shit insane corners of the internet do not exemplify real life culture or real life normalities

Cimorene86 · 2021-06-29T11:30:47+00:00

Maybe maybe not... maybe we just never settle for one life partner and we just use disposeable short term relationships to fill voids we have from being alone. Both men and women dont want to be controlled by their partners. Because of this people are staying single and putting off marriage...

We're putting off marriage because we don't want kids and see little to no reason for a piece of paper. A marriage certificate doesn't make your relationship better or happier.

I dont see this turning around, many millenials will likely never settle for anybody because there is always somebody better or who will treat us better.

Is there? Sure, statistically. But I will say that the reason I've been with my guy for 13 years is because we treat each other very well. Neither of us are perfect FWB but it's pretty damn close. What are the odds I'll find someone better than him if I go back into the world of dating, given my difficulties with it previously? Not very likely, more a waste of time.

And staying with someone for long periods of time may not be settling. It could be that, like me, people who are in loving relationships know a good thing when they have it. They dated around, had partners who didn't work out, but finally found one who did. For us, it's not settling, it's finally winning the race.

Am i missing something here?

Yes, the internet...especially the sections you mentioned...aren't a good or fair representation of society as a whole. The overwhelming majority of people in the subs you referred to aren't happy or have recently been harmed by previous partners. It would be like me conflating the abused rescue dogs I work with as representative of all dogs everywhere. It just is not accurate.

manfrom-nantucket · 2021-06-29T12:26:51+00:00

There is nothing to be gained from wifing up a modern woman. Furthermore, I think about 10% of the world's population is capable of monogamy. The rest are just playing house until something better comes along.

majani · 2021-06-29T12:12:08+00:00

The world is more peaceful and prosperous than its ever been. Feelings of doom and gloom in such an environment are often a symptom of deeper issues

https://www.verywellmind.com/sense-of-impending-doom-symptom-4129656

Log off these online rabbit holes and get some help.

gimpgirl555 · 2021-06-29T10:59:14+00:00

Ofc they'll settle. Millennial women are all tradcon at heart.

In b4

"I have no idea what you're talking about. I am woman hear me roar".

Millennial men larp as tradcons but are actually Dan Bilzerian wannabes.

Cedo_Alteram · 2021-06-29T15:03:22+00:00

First, TRP and FDS are totally compatible; both approach relationships in bad faith, which makes them a match. The dating pool would be better if they would quarantine themselves off together to play their games.

Second, I don't think either group is a majority. I think both are symptomatic of people trying to date out of their league and not understanding the cost associated.

Third, I think it's crucial to vet potential partners to determine intent. If you want to build a wholesome relationship, you need to look for partners that also want that; you aren't going to sell them on it after the fact.

CantBonkThis · 2021-06-29T15:38:16+00:00

Am i missing something here?

Yes. Humans were never meant to marry or be together for life. We are naturally polygynous.

SaBahRub · 2021-06-29T15:26:47+00:00

Men and women aren’t really compatible, period. “Better” and “more” can’t be reconciled with a 50:50 gender split.

Compromise, competition, settling and dissatisfaction is the price of being alive. I will gladly pay it to avoid being dead or suffering

MidnightRaspberries · 2021-06-29T12:41:21+00:00

My marriage is modern and it works just fine thanks. We both have fulfilling careers and love spending time with our family and friends. My husband is secure enough in himself that he really enjoys this life as much as I do.

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ashpr0ulx · 2021-06-29T11:50:06+00:00

i don’t think they’re incompatible, i think it can feel that way. even with a lot of options, you’re going to naturally be incompatible with a lot of people. life goals need to be at least similar. value systems cannot be on opposite ends. personalities need to balance and mesh well. lifestyles need to be similar or at least acceptable to the other person. and on top of that, you have to want to fuck this person and they have to want to fuck you, too. it’s a lot to ask before you even consider more specific personal preferences. and there’s still a part of it that comes down to dumb luck: you still have to manage to meet that right person at the right time.

superlurkage · 2021-06-29T15:54:33+00:00

People are competitive, not complacent, sorry to report. You lie down, you get left behind

DXBrigade · 2021-06-29T17:41:05+00:00

dating =/= traditionnal marriage. People marry less, but they still date.

Iceklimber · 2021-06-29T18:08:52+00:00

Am i missing something here?

You are missing the reality of words versus actions. The impression you get from, say MGTOW forums is not representative due to 90% of these men being one blowjob away from diving back into relationships.

_Suumcuique_ · 2021-06-29T18:36:27+00:00

Just go to eastern Europe or Latin America and find a woman there.

NoMarriageNoKids · 2021-06-29T19:25:59+00:00

Traditional marriage would work fine if laws were rewound to the 50s. No-fault divorce, presumption of the mother getting the kids, child support and alimony have destroyed marriage. Great deal for women. Biggest shit sandwich on Earth for men.

Any man who is considering marriage should ask themselves, "if this doesn't work out am I okay having a life that consists of runny shit sandwich?"

jawnzoo · 2021-06-29T20:10:57+00:00

can't generalize people, you might see more of these "mgtow, fds, trp, exredpill and even purple pill" people on reddit but in the real world it's not as prevalent.

spenc30 · 2021-06-29T20:23:37+00:00

misandry is a bad thing imo, which is a side effect of narcissism in women. it's really down to women as they seem to be 'seizing power' in society, where men are just standing aside and watching.

trail22 · 2021-06-29T21:20:35+00:00

Things are not perfect for women, but society has changed how they view them. Society has been stagnant on how they value men. You cant value women for different things and not in turn value men for different things.

You cant care more about womens intellgenece without caring more about men's feelings.

Just as you had a group of angry women before, you will too have agroup of angry men.

IcarusKiki · 2021-06-29T21:34:32+00:00

Yes they are it’s just weirdos on the internet are incompatible with EVERYONE due to bad social skills and project that onto others. I know tons of mixed gender friend groups, couples the get along well, etc etc.

LMM-GT02 · 2021-06-29T21:41:53+00:00

We are so wrapped up in our imported identities that eventually we forget who we are and the actual world we live in.

For some, there is more than meets the eye. For others, there sadly isn’t more, because all they know is what meets eye. They will live lives in a box of smoke and mirrors that is not their own creation, but they believe to be so.

Carloverguy20 · 2021-06-30T00:45:56+00:00

People in society are normal, people here are just extremists.

Expensive-Guitar3609 · 2021-06-30T04:50:34+00:00

I remember I was a teen when I started to see neonazis subforums on the internet. Mass media would mock them saying their ideas were outdated, that they were only a bunch of frustranted violent men playing war on the internet and all that.

Fastforward a decade and we already have Trump, Putin, Le Pen, Bukele, Farrage, Bolsonaro, the Vox in Spain, Golden Dawn in Greece, the SNSP in Sweeden, lots of fascists in Italy and now the mass media is freaking the shit out about "nationalism is rising!", "Nazis storming at democracy's gates" and what not.

Never ever EVER underestimate the storm clouds on the horizon. They run fast.

owta_this_world · 2021-06-29T12:40:24+00:00

Not it's just the internet. People would rather use the internet and be in a virtual perfect world rather than a messy real one with imperfections.

Most people are dating in real life but there's a reason these relationships end up being 3am service station nachos.

midwestufohunter · 2021-06-29T16:06:59+00:00

I agree.

It’s like men are another species and our best interests are not aligned at all.

ConfusedMegladon · 2021-06-29T21:18:17+00:00

Marriage never worked well. Men were literally allowed to rape their wives, women couldn't have a bank account, and divorce was taboo.

Title	Modern women and modern men are not compatible
Author	f1vepointoh
Upvotes	61
Comments	211
Date	June 29, 2021 10:55 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/oa5wij/modern_women_and_modern_men_are_not_compatible/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/modern-women-and-modern-men-are-not-compatible.787834 https://theredarchive.com/post/787834

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