What makes a man desireable?

xQueen-Bx · 2021-09-16T23:37:29+00:00

his presence, his looks, his stance, the way he walks, the way he dresses, the way he seeks to portray himself, the way he takes up space, his deep rich voice, his masculinity, his aura of latent violence, his sense of humor, his assertiveness, his aggression, his dominance

Haunting-Ad-8603 · 2021-09-16T14:28:58+00:00

I’m part of a decent sized singles group in a large city - Houston, and here are the trends I see a huge portion of women (maybe most?) wanting in a man…

Physically: At minimum taller than them, but many prefer just tall. Good size dick too. The vast majority don’t seem to like skinny men at all… you either have to be burly like a bear, muscular, or a dad bod. You’d be surprised how much skinny shaming I see from both men and women - maybe it’s a Texas thing? Beards and tattoos are definitely popular.

Personality-wise, most women want a good man, not a “nice guy”, or so they say. They want a guy that’s funny, I never see intelligence being emphasized at all. Many seem to like a guy who’s handy around the house too, if you can cook that’s definitely a plus. Of course there’s exceptions to everything, but these are trends I tend to see.

bluehorserunning · 2021-09-16T13:42:36+00:00

bloops aren't the ones that say that women only care about money, looks, and status, terps are.

As for settling, everyone settles if the person they end up with is not the person that they dreamed of. You can look like Quasimoto, and if you've always dreamed of ending up with someone who looks like a young Halle Berry, but end up with the girl next door, you're still 'settling' even though you've scored someone better looking than the terps say you should be able to expect.

Part of 'settling' is realizing that all of the things that you desire almost never co-occur in the same person, and deciding on which ones are the most important to you. Part of it is realizing that even having someone better than you could reasonably expect won't make you happy with yourself. Part of it is realizing that relationships take effort. It's not this horrific, sad process that some people make it out to be; it's just facing the reality that we are merely human, and so is everyone else.

So, what attracted me to my husband? I liked his long, glossy hair. He's the perfect height (average, but so am I). He teaches anatomy and physiology, which were my favorite subjects in school. He openly loves his pets, which meant that he wouldn't be jealous of my love for my pets. He's an average build with dad bod, which I like. After that, I liked that he is calm and self-controlled. I like that he supported himself. I like that he's smart, that he's generous with his friends, and that he doesn't treat women like we're some other species from men. He's good in bed - doesn't try to act like a porn star. I like that he would never embarrass me in front of my family or in public: I could bring him home without fear of shame. I could go on and on, but it's basically the same story that always gets told: a little bit of initial attraction grows into something more as you get to know the person, and realize how few of your 'absolutely not!'s they have and how many of your 'must haves' they have.

TomorrowsWar · 2021-09-16T13:16:14+00:00

I want a guy who understands boundaries and pacing.

When I was younger I was really attracted to “unavailable” guys because they kept their distance and didn’t blow up my phone. They weren’t jealous or weird. They let me be myself…. And it was natural for them because they didn’t care! Lol. That’s that part I didn’t understand. Looking back I get why I was attracted to that. My first few “boyfriends” as a teen were annoying and needy. They’d say they loved you after a few days and want to talk 24/7 and I’m a busy gal. Then when I would present an issue they would breakdown and either put themselves down or put me down. Because their ego was fragile

Guys on the opposite side of the spectrum let me come to them, they take their time, when I have an issue they usually either get defensive or leave.

So I want a guy that’s in between. He shows interest but let’s the relationship develop as it does, he doesn’t bend over backwards for me but he does his best to do what is fair for the situation. He has agency and doesn’t rely on me alone for validation. He’s not afraid of intimacy but he’s not desperate for it either. He has respect for himself and for me, he can express his views and boundaries without being unreasonable.

If you have mommy issues you won’t understand what I’m talking about. Because you’re probably obsessed with “unconditional love” in relationships and are needy and possessive or something.

If you’re emotionally… immature? This will seem impossible for you. But it’s pretty common. Or I’m very lucky to have only had secure guys in adulthood.

Edit: if you feel like you’re open to improving yourself because you’re needy or too distant watch this https://youtu.be/UGsGVvfyWWc

DreamsOfWishes · 2021-09-16T13:35:52+00:00

I want compatibility and if you are not compatible with me, you can try a lot of tricks and yeah some will get more of my attention then others, but I'm not gonna stay.

And you shouldn't be trying to fake compatibility.

AnnoKano · 2021-09-16T13:42:04+00:00

I read that women just want a "nice guy" or that they want a caring individual that gives them security and comfort...

However between all of the dating stradegies i and friends of mine have used over the years theres one thing that i see is a pattern and its deff not the case imo.

Because they are not trying to teach you how to pick up women, they are selling you something.

Why would you need a book that tells you to do what is simply common sense? You wouldn't. Nobody wants to be told there isn't an easy way to solve their problems. They want something new and counterintuiative, hidden knowledge, and a process to follow.

The purpose of dating strategies isn't to help you get more dates, the purpose is to get you buying dating strategies.

IndustrialMaint · 2021-09-17T00:27:51+00:00

Woman want a man with a 14 foot dick, 150k a year salary, tall, handsome, good teeth, physically fit, confident, cultured, mature and no emotional baggage. I'm really surprised they have such a hard time finding a man that fits that criteria to be honest.

NUKE_DEMOCRACY · 2021-09-17T12:43:03+00:00

everybody says its wealth, status, height lol. And they're right

the confusion stems from the fact that women find a wide variety of things attractive at different times, the inconsistency is what throws dudes off

Feisty-Saturn · 2021-09-16T13:15:29+00:00

I don’t know your age but I would say you are either around very emotionally stunted women or pursuing very young women If your claim about “ignoring” them works. I’m in my mid twenties and I don’t know any woman who has to time to deal with that, especially when we have other options.

Women do like attractive men. The same way men like attractive women. No one wants to be with someone ugly. The great thing about that though is beauty is in the eye of the beholder so most of us should be able to find someone.

I don’t know what you mean by money, most of us will never meet someone who is extremely rich. But women do like men who are financially stable. Despite being more independent many women still want kids and a family. That is costly. If your end goal is a family then you need a man who can also pay bills.

Aside from that women do want someone who is caring and affectionate. I expect men to want the same. Life is hard already, why come home to someone making it harder.

Cimorene86 · 2021-09-16T13:27:41+00:00

If money, looks, status arent what attracts women like blue pillers would have you believe than what does?

Who ever said that we don't care about looks? I'd say it's an incredibly, almost infinitely small amount of women who don't care about looks at all. Imo they're important because I want to be physically attracted to the man I'm eventually going to have sex with. However, maybe the miscommunication is the fact not all women are attracted to the same body type. I am not attracted to fit or muscular men, my preference is for dadbod/overweight men. You may say this means I "am not attracted to looks" but obviously that's incorrect...it's simply that the looks i like aren't the ones you'd expect.

I read that women just want a "nice guy" or that they want a caring individual that gives them security and comfort...

Nice is not a personality, it is a bare minimum for being a decent human being. Saying I want a nice guy may as well be like saying I want a living guy. I don't need "security", not even sure what you mean by that. I have knives, pepper spray, a machete, and can go buy a gun if I want "security". Comfort from the assholes and drudgery of the world at large is wanted, yes, but it's also given in return. That's kinda what a healthy relationship is. I desire a man who is safe to be around, shares my sense of humor and majority of my hobbies, is my level of intelligence, is a good conversationalist, and enjoys trying different kinds of sex.

Whenever ive been the one to give attention, to show that i care, to go the extra mile and give effort it has always been met with loss of attraction.

I don't understand that, but if that's your experience it is valid. When my FWB does anything to show he cares, I'm over the moon for the next few hours. It's really wonderful to know your lover is thinking about you when you're not around, so a small present like a candy bar or trinket is always appreciated.

Whenever i play it off cool, by ignoring, gaslighting, or waiting a few days to answer a text i have been met with with more attraction.

My guy initially acted like this when we first started having sex, and I absolutely hated it. He never gaslight me of course, he's not mentally abusive, but even just being ignored for a handful of hours really fucked me up. Of course, part of this is probably because I grew up in 2 abusive households, so even the hint of going through any of that again was enough to cause pain. But we had a few long talks about how those actions made me feel early on, and he's never done it again in the last 11.5 years.

What im getting at here is while women claim they want "X" they only respond to "Y" and its like they dont even know why they respond the way they do either because every choice they make is based on their feelings....

I do wonder if one's childhood has a lot to do with this type of observation. Is it that, thankfully, most women don't come from abusive backgrounds and are so used to being safe, calm, cared for, unharmed, etc that the opposite (bad boy who ignores them, treats them as a second thought, and doesn't immediately show he cares) is sought out by them? Maybe because it's new, unexpected, different, a little exciting... And then for those of us who had fathers who were uncaring/unsafe to be around already know that's total bullshit and will do whatever we can to avoid "bad boys" in our lives?

mackenzie013_02 · 2021-09-16T13:43:44+00:00

If we assume some baseline attraction in looks and obviously being a decent human being, the following is generally what attracts me when I meet someone new and tends to keep me engaged (it’s usually multiple things from the list, but not necessarily all of them): - confidence - passion for something; it doesn’t matter a ton what it is, but something you can dedicate yourself to and you feel like you neeeeed to follow it - the drive to do something better (either in their community, at work, or in their field, etc.) - appreciates their job - curious to continuously learn and educate - strong integrity - excellent communicator - shared values and outlook on life - being open minded and have the ability to disagree with someone while also appreciating their point of view

Exotic-Employee-9369 · 2021-09-16T14:41:32+00:00

A face and body that I genuinely love touching and kissing. I like putting my hands on the side of his face and look at him as we kiss, I also like a body that feels muscular and smooth so I can stroke it when we cuddle and fondle it when we fuck.
Someone who's low drama and easy to get on with. I look forward to his company and enjoy spending time with him immensely. He makes me laugh and can have interesting conversations
The sex is Incredible. He's young and fit with good stamina, he knows his way around a woman, he's dominant and primal and he adores pussy.
Masculine, but expresses it in a way thats positive. Aggressive on the sports field, ambitious with work, tough when other men are dicks, into the outdoors
He treats me like a princess ;)

poppy_blu · 2021-09-16T13:11:36+00:00

A lot of men in the manosphere struggle in life because they are natural please pleasers, deferential, co-dependent, etc. they think “nice” means being a doormat and pedestalizing women. When that doesn’t work, they get very angry and wonder why women say they want “nice guys” but don’t really want “nice guys.” They see things like having boundaries, asserting needs, not being at a woman’s beck and call, etc as “asshole” behaviors.

ashpr0ulx · 2021-09-16T13:34:31+00:00

it’s not that i don’t want a “nice guy”- i don’t want a passive man and/or a man who puts me on a pedestal. i need someone who can tell me when i’m being a shit and pedestals are lonely places to be.

i want a kind man, but with a backbone. good-hearted, hardworking, strong values. i love a sick sense of humor, good banter, and a high sex drive. decently masculine, handles his shit, sprinkle of traditionalism, and a big preference for me personally for men who work with their hands.

NarniaFox · 2021-09-16T14:04:38+00:00

That depends on a woman. I've ever fallen mostly for my friends or people I've known for some time. And yeah, all of them are nice human beings. They're people who I could feel safe with, who are open about their experience and feelings, passionate about their hobbies/life goal. To put it short, people I am/was/could be friends with. I've never felt the need to play cold and hot games, so when my husband asked me out, I just...agreed. He needed zero TRP shit.

If you're asking about averages, I do admit that there are people, both men and women, who like cold and hot games. I really doubt that they make up good LTR partners though, as I believe that a lot of them have attachment issues. And some people just like drama for whatever reason.

2021-09-16T14:38:07+00:00

My husband is reserved, attractive, stubborn, irritating, funny, clever, ambitious, challenging and hilarious. I found him incredibly attractive I neither reached nor settled for him, we simply fancied each other and then went from there.

But remember women are not a hive mind - what one finds attractive another will not. For example my best friend does not find my husband nor my previous boyfriend attractive at all.

StereoFood · 2021-09-16T15:00:47+00:00

It works because girls want what they can’t have. If X talks to her then she knows he likes her. If Y is distant then she’s going to wonder why he doesn’t like her. The guy that likes her less will always seem more interesting. It takes time for her to realize why you’re worth not leaving. You gotta be great enough so she sees through the facade of everyone and chooses you.

sweetestpineapple · 2021-09-16T15:02:15+00:00

Looks first of all. I would not want to date or hook up with someone I wasn’t attracted to, and it’s unfair to both of us to try to force or fake attraction imo. Then sex appeal, which is connected to looks but different. The guy needs to be confident in himself (NOT necessarily arrogant, just not visibly insecure), have some sort of style (I prefer the athletic/casual yet well groomed look), have an appealing voice (not high pitched, and certain accents are more attractive than others), and have similar enough political views. That’s enough for me to give a guy a chance and see where things go.

januaryphilosopher · 2021-09-16T17:04:39+00:00

Ask twenty different women what they find attractive and you'll get twenty different answers. Some of them quite frankly a bit weird. In general, most women are going to be into men who they find physically attractive; who's nice to her and makes her feel loved, cared for and respected; and who has interests and goals that are compatible with her own. But in general, feelings are very complicated and overanalysing them or trying to find a single "desirable" factor is going to get you nowhere.

realityhacker55 · 2021-09-16T17:05:30+00:00

"Whenever i play it off cool, by ignoring, gaslighting, or waiting a few days to
answer a text i have been met with with more attraction."

-- This is the essence of your post, about the power dynamics in attractions. This is what PUA based its theories on. I wonder why very few here have commented on this so far?

cupcakegensis · 2021-09-16T13:20:25+00:00

Women are all different you aren't going to get one answer here, but yes psychologically manipulating a person makes them more codependent on you. These tricks work on men, women, and children. It works until they wise up to it or if they are aware to begin with. Trauma bonding also allows people to manipulate others into staying with them.

If your question is, are psychological mind games effective, then the answer is yes. You could probably keep anyone in your basement playing mind games until they love you with probably an 80% success rate (some cults have gotten really good at this), but do you really want to do that to get people to like you?

As a whole men who present confidence, have high emotional intelligence, display drive, selectivness, and leadership skills score higher in studies researching attractiveness. Men who share hobbies,life goals, and morality with a woman are more likely to be seen as more desirable to that woman.

2021-09-16T14:15:56+00:00

if money, looks, status aren’t what attracts women like blue pillers would have you believe then what does?

I’m not sure if bluepillers are even saying these things don’t matter, though. I think everyone can agree that looks matter to almost everyone at least somewhat. Money and status are less important to me, but as long as he can pay his own bills he’s a candidate.

I read that women just want a "nice guy" or that they want a caring individual that gives them security and comfort...

We want a caring, decent man that is kind to us, yes. That doesn’t mean we want someone to bow down to us and give us everything we ask for without compromise. Personally, I want a dominant, masculine man and part of being that, to me, is having a backbone and knowing when to put your foot down. I want someone with boundaries that also doesn’t treat me like shit at the same time. Comfort and security are nice to have in the sense that he can be a “protector” of sorts, but I’m also an adventurous person, so I like the spontaneity of being able to go or travel wherever we’d like at any time, or moving to a new place if we feel like it is good for us.

I guess with that, comes the thrill of being unpredictable. Not in the sense that I’m scared of what he’s going to do next, but just by switching things up sometimes. Trying something new in the bedroom or surprising me with a different activity planned for a date. I think when relationships become too routine and predictable someone is always going to get bored while the other thinks things are great.

SaBahRub · 2021-09-16T13:44:20+00:00

We don’t believe that looks, money or status are irrelevant, because obviously they are

We just don’t believe that it’s as simple, universal and formulaic as red pillers claim

wtknight · 2021-09-16T12:59:03+00:00

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catchtowards12345 · 2021-09-16T14:26:00+00:00

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reconfinement_acc · 2021-09-16T14:51:01+00:00

Money, look, status. In that order

catchtowards12345 · 2021-09-16T14:54:52+00:00

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catchtowards12345 · 2021-09-16T15:02:18+00:00

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catchtowards12345 · 2021-09-16T17:37:55+00:00

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Enchanting_Smith · 2021-09-16T18:51:55+00:00

I can tell which posts were written by women trying to ignore what the OP wrote and I'm laughing. I'm a woman and I will AGREE since sometimes girls like to keep it hidden for some reason like we don't all do this.

tldr; MOST WOMEN, ALL AGES and MANY SEXUALITIES LOVE TO BE CHASED. And this doesn't exclude men, and even in the animal wild it's tough to be rejected and some just can't express love without hurting.

Age has little to do with it, I've heard some people say no one has the time to be this way but, they do! They will chase and request chase for whatever period their crippled self esteem can manage before another woman drags them out or they decide every mans just garbage and it couldn't be that they're choosing bad company. I almost killed myself doing it in my teens, and any woman I've ever ever met will say they wasted their time on a male or female for a very long period of time sometimes even coming back to suffer again in an older age cause they didn't learn. Age has nothing to do with it, though I'd say many, many, many women (mostly due to their own mothers, and what gender stereotypes and inadequacies really did hurt them) are definitely emotionally stunted, so that's fair. How couldn't they be with either a soft unrealistic sheltered upbringing of ideals, or an abusive upside down generational and gender stereotype confused upbringing?

I am a woman who actively participates in social media friendship outlets and am surrounded by women from family sides - women often do prefer the game, and not just with men, they do it with women less alpha than them. Go ask literally any family trauma thread; I don't want the nytimes statistics I want the threats exploding with wtf is wrong with me.

The chase. The investment of time to someone potentially uninterested (or uninteresting but you want entertainment, women (yes, I'd say all women do this one) do it all the time "he wasnt even that cute i was just lonely my bad!") comes with the offense and then sudden gratitude of "I wasn't ignoring you I was just..." makes their egos flare.

Many men like the chase too but get bored. unless they're true crime potential lmao. They want their result, sex or a relationship, and none of the extras not included. That's also fact, so before we say women don't know what they want and are feelings based it's also likely because of the mind games. Women telling them what they feel and men being the risky alternative option that may "always be the bad guy you cant trust" how tf do women do anything?

Oh right. Men and women are humans and we can communicate cause evolution realized it helps.

Talk people. State standards and confidently stand by them.

catchtowards12345 · 2021-09-16T13:08:01+00:00

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-Paradigm- · 2021-09-16T13:20:56+00:00

For me, what makes a man desirable is entirely based on his compatability with me specifically. Looks, status, and everything else takes a backseat and only plays a minor role. Romatically I want someone who is capable of giving me the attention I want (which is alot, I'm needy and not afraid to admit it), someone who will have intellectual conversations with me, someone who shows kindness and compassion to animals, someone willing to experience new things , and someone who can communicate clearly and effectively.
Some people want to be chased, some people don't. For me, I want an overwhelming sense of security in my relationship and I would personally hate getting the cold shoulder or ignored. If that happened then the person isn't worth my time. The people who want to be in your life will make an effort to be there. The people who don't will not. That being said, there is alot of psychology behind why pulling away will have positive results on people as far as attention goes. It takes the control from them, and they try to yank back the control by getting your attention so that they have the opportunity to then decide when to stop the interaction on their terms. Now to do that intentionally to someone is manipulative and morally wrong. Instead, I suggest communicating clear intentions and what you want from a relationship. For example if you want more attention, ask for it. If they arnt capable of giving it after clear communication, then you arnt compatible and thats perfectly fine too. Time to move on.

Competitive_Pen2282 · 2021-09-16T13:35:41+00:00

Depends desirable for what.

Rosa_linda_ · 2021-09-16T14:52:32+00:00

I find it different for each woman.

My and my friends all end up going after different types of men (which works nicely for us when going out lol).

Obviously “good looks” is the universal factor to consider but from there it’s a mix bag.

For example, I like brainy, confident guys. My best lovessssss jocks and athletic guys. My sister is a sucker for funny guys. Etc

I feel like topics like these are actually really complicated and subjective but people always want to dumb them down to easy answers, which isn’t possible most of the time.

Also, if you’re out there gaslighting women, you’re just going to end up on the “creepy” list eventually. Do better, for yourself and the women you date.

2021-09-16T15:29:03+00:00

If money, looks, status arent what attracts women like blue pillers would have you believe than what does?

Everyone knows those things attract women,including blue pillars.

Who told u they don't attract women?

Attachment or love requires personality,similar interest etc but primary attraction is dependent on mainly looks & status.

Sophiatab · 2021-09-16T15:54:23+00:00

Integrity, we need to share the same moral values. After that empathy is important for an emotional connection.

asshole67throw · 2021-09-16T16:02:21+00:00

Connection and similarities are important.

Even homeless men can get homeless girlfriends.... equal matches.

The “social problem” is that only the top 20% of people are desirable. Women are generally more selective because they have more options.

But being an attractive Male isn’t enough to get any woman. If you have no mutual interests or friends or social interaction, nothing will happen.

RRBeachFG2 · 2021-09-16T16:21:05+00:00

I don't really see a question in there

Orange_Paisley · 2021-09-16T16:41:19+00:00

Things that have made me attracted to a man include a certain attitude, a cool style, intelligence, charisma, humor, surprising me with thoughtful gestures, his treatment of others, and individualism. Things that have not made me attracted to a man are his money, his muscles, his cockiness, his N count (high or low), or being an asshole. Make of that what you will.

flapperfemmefatale · 2021-09-16T16:47:31+00:00

As someone else said, simple compatibility. He has to check all the boxes.

AquaChip · 2021-09-16T18:07:53+00:00

Looks, the way he carries himself, his personality.

Wetcat9 · 2021-09-16T19:05:20+00:00

Big sturdy bones 🍖

IOportA · 2021-09-16T19:08:12+00:00

Women fall into three categories which determine what they are attracted to:

Young/pretty: Looks and status. Someone she can brag about to her friends

Older/not so pretty: Security, companionship. A man she can rely on but can't really brag about.

Older, but still thinks she's pretty: Looks, status, money.......avoid this one at all costs.

Flightlessbirbz · 2021-09-16T19:37:50+00:00

Women, generally speaking, want both. A genuinely nice guy with money, looks, or status, or ideally all three, but that’s not going to happen and most of us understand that. So we settle with one or two things that are most important to us.

With the “reaching,” I think there’s two things going on here. First of all, people tend to “reach” for those out of their league. The women you’re bending over backwards for are probably better looking and have more options than the ones you leave hanging. People out of your league are more likely to move on regardless of how you treat them. People also tend to undervalue those who bend over backwards for them. This isn’t a gendered thing. I’ve had men respond similarly when I was too nice. Keeping a balance between showing you care and maintaining some appropriate distance is important.

DplusLplusKplusM · 2021-09-16T19:41:40+00:00

There isn't one single attribute that all women will tell you they want in a man. Much of this gaming of the system by men seeking fast and easy sex is to distill 3.5 billion people down into one hive mind. Some women will respond to "love bombing", others see through and find it cringy. Some women like a guy who insists on paying for every date while others feel that's a sign of someone who doesn't want an equal partner. IMHO too many guys are taking advice from other men who perhaps don't have adequate life experience to be giving that advice.

HumanNumber348 · 2021-09-16T20:37:37+00:00

I know it has become a meme, but confidence truly is a big one. Even the most cringe ass personality can become attractive if you just unapologetically own it.

Equal-Programmer-371 · 2021-09-16T22:25:27+00:00

Absolutely, I have also been on both sides of the coin - I was told and hoped that women grew out of this with age and emotional security but it doesn't seem to be the case, they still chase what makes them feel like they're reaching - as such I don't disclose my position and wealth until the 3rd date, which unfortunately often results in 'i'm going to lock this man down' change over night.

I-Fail-Forward · 2021-09-16T22:29:55+00:00

If money, looks, status arent what attracts women like blue pillers would have you believe than what does?

Starting out with a strawman isn't a great strategy tbh.

No body says these things aren't attractive,

Edit: Well I've heard red pills say this, but usually it's mixed in with so much whining that I ignore it.

People say that these things matter to different people in differing amounts, and that there are other things that also matter.

As an aside, it's not these things that are generally attractive, it's what comes with them, nobody is attracted to a creepy slob even if he has lots of money (some people will absolutely fake it, buying a prostitute is always easier than finding and having a relationship)

But a well cut and tailored suit, with nicely done hair, and a decent (not necessarily expensive, but not covered in scratched, or filthy, or where the door doesn't open) car that's well looked after usually come with money, and those things are attractive.

Similarly, confidence is attractive, along with social acumen and being well adjusted, those usually come with social status.

Being attractive is partly something you are born with, but a lot of it is the work you put into it, stay in shape, do your hair nicely (get help from a stylist, get a good haircut), keep your face nicely groomed, use creams when required to get rid of eye rings, or zits, sitting / standing with good posture etc.

I read that women just want a "nice guy" or that they want a caring individual that gives them security and comfort...

Whoever told you that is lying, those are generally the most basic requirements.

If all you have to offer is "I'm not an asshole" your boring.

The rest is...well unlikely at best.

justgirliethingies · 2021-09-16T22:39:24+00:00

Literally just someone that I want to have sex with and that I want to spend time with, and that will put in equal effort into building a relationship, a home, and a family.

Edit: if you’re asking what personality traits do men I want to spend time with tend to have? Smart, reasonable (not hot tempered), communicative, confident, and has ideology I can at least have a conversation with.

Nice_Pass2393 · 2021-09-17T03:46:28+00:00

Shave your face every day like my father and grandfather's generation

boofthegirl · 2021-09-17T07:55:24+00:00

I was attracted to my partners sense of humour and charisma. Every day he gave me butterflies and made me laugh. He was so good at talking to people and so popular even though he was no looker in high school when we met (the butt of all the fat jokes and very hairy). I loved him so much. His energy captivates whatever room he is in. He can make anyone laugh.

I, on the other hand, was called Tits McGee because I had such giant boobs on a tiny frame (I have evened out now lmao) with plenty of guys after me. Hotter guys, guys with more money, guys who were sure they could get me. I didn’t want any of them. I just wanted him.

6 years later, I still want him. Every day. Want want want. He’s objectively hotter than me now since he’s started working a trade and lost more than double his body weight. Regardless, I picked a good one back in the day.

The only downside is other women always want him!

buffysbluejacket · 2021-09-18T04:58:07+00:00

I “met” my husband 14 years ago, when when we were both juniors in high school. What immediately attracted me to him was his sense of humor. He was the funniest person I’d ever met and at that point, we’d only ever communicated over AOL Instant Messenger (remember that?) and Facebook. I’m shocked how few people have mentioned the ability to make one’s partner laugh!

Willow-girl · 2021-09-18T05:33:14+00:00

The ability to lick his eyebrows.

Easteuroblondie · 2021-09-18T06:19:00+00:00

Money, looks, and status are all definitely variables. I can understand that it’s annoying women deny this. I think the issue is assuming that that’s the whole enchilada.

For me, a certain degree of money is essentially a make or break, but I also wanna see that he made that money himself. So it’s not juuust about the money, it’s about the work ethic too. I also work and make money, so it’s not like I’m dating him just for that, which is why I think women push back on that - it’s not all about the money

For me, looks and status are both very negotiable. I like quiet confidence. Doesn’t need to be flashy, has a strong sense of self. I love when a dude likes animals.

This is another very unpopular opinion of mine that got a lot of flack on on some other sub a while back but I personally kinda like when a dude is really into me. Like stoked. So the key IMO is if they make me feel attractive, I’ll be attracted to them, because they make me feel good. I think I’m fairly conventionally attractive and I happen to like nerdy guys, so I feel I get the best of both worlds. They have self earned money, because they’re nerds and smart AND they’re pretty stoked I’m into them because like I said, I’m pretty good looking and nerdy guys don’t get much play. lil secret: some of the time it’s bc they just aren’t good at flirting or just don’t even really try

And flanals. I don’t know why but I just love that

Historical-Agency335 · 2021-09-19T23:13:13+00:00

looks, and money. mostly looks.

catchtowards12345 · 2021-09-16T13:53:14+00:00

[permanently deleted]

superlurkage · 2021-09-16T14:24:43+00:00

You know what a simp is, right?

Beautiful-Bus-9275 · 2021-09-16T14:49:58+00:00

Weman I can tell you attracted to bed boys the things they say that will get the girls just kinda makes you look week and needy laddies aren't going to say what they won't is someone to dominate take lead that is man enough to not be needy and will shit test you to see if you meet thair criteria.laddies aren't the soft passive week creatures most men believe. Thay won't tell you I have slept with 50 or more Men becuse of slut shameing Or u must be taller well fitness strong and intelligence being seen what other weman will attract theme to you more. . just know thair words and actions don't match because biology of people haven't changed because we became seveolised

Morningpumpkin · 2021-09-16T15:35:42+00:00

My husband is strong, and has an amazing work ethic.

Title	What makes a man desireable?
Author	f1vepointoh
Upvotes	50
Comments	289
Date	September 16, 2021 12:51 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/ppcozy/what_makes_a_man_desireable/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-makes-a-man-desireable.1070138 https://theredarchive.com/post/1070138

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