A question?

Twolipz_78 · 2021-05-21T10:41:56+00:00

I don’t get this myself because even though the last couple of toxic, abusive scrotes I had the misfortune of being with wanted cuddles and to talk after sex. They were the ones that insisted on it so I really don’t know why, did they fake that? We’re the old and lonely? Did they think it would bond me more to them so I wouldn’t leave? Well, it didn’t work because I left anyway due to their disrespect and mistreatment of me.

Would be nice not to expend so much brain energy on trying to figure out deluded and abusive people and find a way to make that brain energy work for us, tbh.

Platipus6 · 2021-05-21T11:53:56+00:00

They've been using such dark and depraved porn, probably where the woman is being used, degraded and abused, that they get post orgasm disgust with what they've done.

Post-coital tristesse ( PCT) is the feeling of sadness, anxiety, agitation or aggression after sexual intercourse or masturbation, mostly in males.

I also think it's the dopamine build-up and withdrawal.

There are a ton of pedo-hunter videos on youtube which have the same pattern. The pedo-hunter says "he hit me up, talked dirty, then disappeared for a week". He was in post-gross clarity then got horny again. It was a weekly cycle of using a 13 year old to jerk off to.

If a guy is sexting you once a week, this is it.

Kellianny · 2021-05-21T10:06:53+00:00

We are all part animal that doesn't mean having more intimate soulful connection isn't possible.

The men you described are: A. Have bad character. B. Are not intelligent enough to differentiate between lust and actual feelings for a woman. C. Manipulative and otherwise psychologically/physically dangerous.

Want to hear something amazing? Men do release oxytocin the hormone of attachment when they work hard at taking care of someone.

This has been shown in studies on how fathers bond with thier children. Women released oxytocin with birth (usually) but men only after taking care of thier child.

So if you want to avoid the above scenario you vet and you make sure he puts a lot of effort into you so the attachment is real from his side.

ClassicBad · 2021-05-21T10:55:07+00:00

I'm suffering from a similar thing. I see an attractive guy and I think hot damn and then 99% when he opens his mouth and suddenly I think oh damn :(

Lemon_bars_addiction · 2021-05-21T10:53:12+00:00

In my experience, the best sex of my life was with an hvm I dated on and off (long story) and one of the reasons it was the best sex was because he always pulled me in close and wanted to cuddle afterwards. He would kiss me really gently and we’d lay there cuddled up talking and laughing until our heart rates returned to normal and then move to the living room to cuddle up again and watch a movie or something. He was always super affectionate after climaxing (after obsessively making sure I finished first of course) and it was really nice. And would be beaming from ear to ear afterwards.

Lvm’s are different in that they just see us as holes to begin with, not people. So of course PNC would be a thing for them. Once they’re done using women and realize eww there’s actually a whole person attached to that hole they’re shocked.

Throwawayrightaway28 · 2021-05-21T11:51:34+00:00

Post nut clarity is such a ridiculous way of excusing the fact that men will stick it in anything with a pulse. Men don’t want to take responsibility for their actions, so they blame their “animal nature.” ‘Well, a, I haven’t had sex in a really long time and it clouded my judgment.’ Yeah fucking right. This is just another way for them to hide behind excuses rather than taking responsibility for their choices

TellCerseeItWasMe · 2021-05-21T13:58:05+00:00

There's no point in doing anything with most males

Waste-Win · 2021-05-21T13:51:23+00:00

"Post-nut clarity"

BS for me, some men would pretend to be crazy in love with you and once they're done they call this BS saying "you know I got what I wanted, can you leave now?" typical LVM behavior.

GodILoveTheEnglish · 2021-05-21T10:14:44+00:00

"What is the use of getting into relationship with men or having sex with them, if they are like this?"

There is no use imo. This is why you vet, vet, vet.

Professional-Ad-457 · 2021-05-21T11:42:17+00:00

There is a chemical explanation about why this happens and how to counteract it in Men chase women choose by Dawn Masler (FDS approved reading). From what I remember (it was an audiobook so can’t reference!) as soon as they come, their bonding hormone that has been building up as they get to know you, drops right back down to the original level. Ours remains high. However, if you don’t sleep with them for a few months (she suggests 3 minimum) their bonding hormone has time to build and build to such a high level that they fall in love and other chemicals flood their body. At this point when they come inside you for the first time the body keeps their bonding hormone high for the rest of the relationship.

Thesseli · 2021-05-21T12:14:05+00:00

Men see their need for connection/love/physical contact as making them weak and vulnerable, so as soon as they get it, they resent themselves for it...and turn that resentment outwards onto the women they need but can't admit that they need.

throwaway88043468 · 2021-05-21T12:24:00+00:00

I think men who say this are being very open about their unhealthy compartmentalizing. They'll claim to be the logical sex when it benefits them, and they'll truly believe it. They will simultaneously believe they have an 'animal' (illogical) nature when it comes to sex -- "post nut clarity" implying horniness clouds their minds/judgment. They are simply a jumble of broken personality fragments, a series of cognitive dissonances centered on not taking accountability. They're not even LVM they're ZVM or NVM.

spinaflora · 2021-05-21T13:42:31+00:00

If that’s the case, And I think it’s a clue that they never liked her in the first place - once the lust evaporates, if that was the only fuel driving his interest in her, than of course he lost it. Such men are shallow and incapable of true connection. They are weak.

Crafty_Collar8183 · 2021-05-21T10:46:06+00:00

....isn't that just being a dick?

DrildoBagurren · 2021-05-21T11:43:55+00:00

It's probably something to do with the way they've formed their sexuality with porn use since they were children. When they're not horny anymore, they close the tab or do something else. There is no intimacy associated with sex for these guys- it's just a release like the way they see masturbation.

Even the most awful guy I have ever been with still wanted to cuddle after sex and actually got angry with me because I didn't. I'm not a touchy-feely person and also wasn't attracted to him.

I was surprised because I'd seen dudes on the internet literally moan and complain about girls wanting to cuddle, but irl all guys I've been with wanted to. Any guy who mentions post-nut clarity or has symptoms of porn addiction is a waste of space and not worth worrying about.

samedinuitmort · 2021-05-21T16:20:56+00:00

“Post-nut clarity” happens to men who are living with chronic dissociation, anxiety, depression, active addiction, or any condition where they are actively suppressing emotions and awareness. They use sex and sexual activities - porn, masturbation, scanning/ogling women, pursuing and seducing sexual partners (chasing), sexual intercourse and orgasm - to self-medicate from the aforementioned pains. Focusing on this obsession and turning sex into the “holy grail” gives them something to focus on that’s not their painful reality, so even the pursuit of the medication is a powerful driving force. The more painful the man’s life, the more desperate they are for their “relief”.

Once they perform the sexual act and the dopamine hits their brain, they are filled with euphoria and satisfaction, and for a brief moment they are both relieved from their painful existence and from the desperate need to pursue sex to run from said pain. They are anesthetized.

Soon, the reality begins to seep back in. Feelings of shame, self-loathing, helplessness, fear, guilt, insecurity and whatever else he’s been running from his whole life, compounded by new negative feelings about his most recent behaviour. Not being able to cope, the cycle begins again, he must pursue his “medication”.

It’s terribly sad. That’s what “post nut clarity” is. If the man was happy and at peace with himself in the first place, the dopamine hit would not be that mind-altering, and there would be no guilt or shame or disconnection after the act.

naturopathicfantasti · 2021-05-21T18:06:26+00:00

I haven’t ever heard anyone say this in person but I’ve heard it on the internet through the years.

I used to get a version of that when I smoked weed. It dont smoke it anymore but while with a NVM I would smoke and instantly be repulsed by him. Just couldn’t understand how or why I loved him so deeply 10 minutes ago. All love gone, all feelings, just deeply annoyed and ICK. Then it would wear off and love was back.

Soooo, post high clarity.

Hhjjuuy · 2021-05-21T12:09:58+00:00

It's a lie. They're aware on some level that they're doing something bad. They don't see women as human or they're deep in rape culture or they consider sex a status symbol. There's a myriad of overlapping reason men chase "sex", very rarely is it really anything to do with the physical or emotional potential of having sex.

So they do all this and put in the "work" and at some point realise it's all a lie and they've been fooled or that they're complicit in shitty things or they're just a bad person. And instead of acknowledging that, examining it or growing they just push it behind a new veil of ignorance (which they call clarity) and blame the woman they've mistreated or lied to for the disparity between what the wanted to get and what they actually did.

Post nut clarity as they describe it isn't real, but the concept of it is a cope. Any man who buys into or propagates the lie is at best a boring mysoginist who's bad in bed - by my standards at least.

Edit: so there is some use in getting into relationships with men provided you vet them well enough not to commit to (or not stay with) a man who treats you poorly or is in any way willingly misogynistic. Self awareness and growth and the bare minimum you should see from a man. If they don't show you these things don't bother. But there is also a lot of use in forgoing them entirely.

rf-elaine · 2021-05-21T10:50:24+00:00

My husband is extremely cuddly and lovey in the moments and minutes after. I suspect those other men have intentionally trained themselves not to be.

giggleomg · 2021-05-21T12:39:22+00:00

Yes, this is why they pay women for sex too or get so horny that they practically use anybody then feel shame and hide it. Weird porn categories just don’t exist for no reason either.

I’ve had exes like this at times immediately get up to shower and others who liked to cuddle if we had a connection and they were decent men. You gotta vet and take it slow. The bonding hormone Oxytocin increases in women after sex, but not in men.

jasmine-blossom · 2021-05-21T15:21:03+00:00

Not to use the phrase that I absolutely hate, but “not all men” are like this. The guys who are like that, are generally really emotionally stunted assholes who can’t relate to other people and don’t see women as people. Because they view women as sexual objects only, when their lust fades after orgasm, they no longer have any interest in the person theyre with because the only interest they had in the first place was satisfying their own orgasm. If your whole interest in somebody else is based off of getting yourself off, and you only care about interacting with this person because you have a sexual outcome that you are aiming for, you’re not gonna have any interest in them once the sexual outcome that you were aiming for is complete.

Vetting heavily and waiting to engage in anything sexual with a guy can help you sort out these men from the men who actually genuinely want emotional and physical connection.

Personally, I’ve experienced more of the opposite, where a man is very needy after orgasm, but then again I have an accidental history of being with men who were lacking some fundamental parental support and love in childhood, which made them more inclined to need more emotional attention. I think subconsciously I did this to maintain the upper hand bc I was always a little less attached than they were, but it also led to a lot of men being more clingy than I could handle, with my introversion and aversion to traditional relationship standards.

Now I’m in a relationship with a man who wants to cuddle immediately after sex, before we’ve ever cleaned up lol

In any other relationship I would have found it stifling, but we have really solid boundaries set around our relationship and future together, so I am able to enjoy it.

Revy_Ur_Engines · 2021-05-21T15:22:45+00:00

I don’t believe this shit exist. Guys just let themselves get clouded by lust. They know in the back of their heads she’s not it but their dick is more important at the moment.

Feral_Housewife_ · 2021-05-21T13:07:16+00:00

I've never had a guy experience "post-nut clarity" with me. I think it might be a function of casual sex or alternatively a coping mechanism for wanting to hurt/degrade women during sex and then distance yourself from that afterward. Or a result of too much porn, cause I usually hear about "post-nut clarity" in the context of jerking off to porn. I think that some particularly depraved or porn-addicted individuals experience it after actual sex too. I think they're just telling on themselves.

Every dude I've slept with has been equally into me after and wanted to cuddle and love on me and be close to me. The dudes I've slept with that I wasn't in a relationship with hounded me for a relationship even after I'd had sex with them. Not a huge sample size, but some the of handful of guys I've had sex with were LV as hell and they still didn't experience that. Don't think it's some universal thing that happens to all men, or even all LVM, because it isn't. Then again, I can't speak for Gen Z guys, only Millennials. It does sound like the situation is getting worse in the regard in the younger generation.

hopelesscanary · 2021-05-22T02:46:41+00:00

Not even my shittiest bfs acted like that post-coitus. If he wants you gone after sex he fucking hates you.

Nymphomaniac12345 · 2021-05-21T12:27:19+00:00

I think in my case it’s more often me experiencing post sex clarity. Why am I with this loser? Why is he still here? Lol.

Substantial-Win-7612 · 2021-05-21T14:16:58+00:00

Actually it happens to me too, with man I don’t love

CuntWaffe · 2021-05-21T16:47:17+00:00

I feel that post nut clarity comes when doing something you know you shouldn't be doing, such as jerking it to porn or having sex with a woman that you have no genuine feelings for. This is just a theory, though, i could be completely wrong.

janeaustenfan99 · 2021-05-21T18:33:31+00:00

The use in dating is for marriage, romance or companionship or whatever you want it to be. What’s actually useless is casual sex, having sex with just any guy. Celibacy with masturbation is a far safer and pleasurable feature to incorporate into one’s dating life until an emotional commitment is made with one time/financially invested man.

Equal-Ear2312 · 2021-05-21T19:26:38+00:00

'Post nut clarity' is a term LVM/NVM use.

It's not science.

It's something that they devised in order to justify the fact that they want sexual gratification with no responsibility and no attachment.

The term appeared around the time redpill was big on the internet. This is part of their jargon.

A man might insist/pressure/stick around and deceive a woman until she has sex with him and right after he would claim he lost interest because "post nut clarity" intervened.

The woman he relentlessly pursued for months became invisible to him after he claimed 'post nut clarity'. He wants her out of the bed and wants to be left alone. She is in shock. This man love-bombed her relentlessly until it eroded her resolve, she gave in and had sex with him only to become invisible or disgusting to him.

The red pill, PUAs, incels and other women-hating-groups advised men to adopt this behavior as following:

-stick around and love bomb until she gives in

-have sex on your terms (usually rough, impersonal sex)

-leave first or make her leave by telling her you're busy

-never call her back or only call to demand rough sex from her, thus turning her into a downgraded FWB

This was used to ensure the creation of a FWB.

Few women would enter a FWB with the mutual understanding that it will be only for sex and it will not lead anywhere.

Many women (pickmes mostly) would enter a "thing" that the man will not define, or would define only much later as a FWB; these women remain in contact because they have the expectation of turning it into a relationship.

They will stick around, they will try harder, they will do more, in the hope of receiving the same level of attention they received when the man was pursuing them during the love-bombing phase.

Through intermittent reinforcement, these women are strung along in a FWB they hope to turn into a relationship by a man adept at playing a game with them (called turning plates- a PUA term).

The man usually pursues another woman and then another with the same level of intensity in order to accumulate a consistent source of free sex, affection and attention from several women.

When he claims his interest fades right after sex, he actually plans the love bombing of another woman while keeping the 1st option on the backburner.

The narcissistic 'devalue' phase is on.

Because of the effort and intensity of his pursuit of her before sex and his clipped and cold behavior afterwards, the confused woman will not give up and dump his ass at once. She will try harder.

This is a shit test.

The more she endures, the more he will test her, thus gaining her a place among his 'plates'. The more she accepts from him, the more she invests in 'the relationship' with him and he knows this. She will stick around more if she invests more, if she starts pursuing him. This is why FDS women Never pursue men. A woman investing in a man is bound to lose everything.

Back to "post nut clarity"/ peanut clarity because of the smol pps that came up with this jargon...

There is masturbation + other ways to relieve tension. The men that use this term (PNT) use it to justify their lack of empathy and transparency in intentions after sex with a woman and elude accountability by blaming "biology".

PNT is not a natural, biological consequence of sex with a woman. it is the staple of a player who degrades women for his own gratification.

They would claim that the lust gave them brain fog or that the sexual tension was unbearable enough that they did not think straight, going so far as to claim that they are not responsible for their desires and therefore their actions. Many rapists have this mindset.

'Post nut clarity' is a sexist term on par with 'body count'.

Only a low value man would try and justify his indifferent behavior after sex with a woman as a result of 'post nut clarity'.

The reality is that he only wanted to use her body to ejaculate and be done with her afterwards. However. . . They know they catch more flies with honey than with vinegar so they play a charade unbeknownst to her.

PNT poses the same fallacies that 'men are visual creatures' argument does and takes away the burden of responsibility of men for their behavior and places it unjustly on 'nature' or 'biology'. Men use this phrase to avoid accountability for their actions that led to a woman accepting having sex with them.

Both masturbation and sexual relations relieve sexual tension in a man. With either form of ejaculation, clarity is expected as a natural consequence of relieving tension and muscles relaxing due to endorphin flow.

Men don't need sex with a woman to achieve a feeling of relaxation and mental clarity. The same effect can be achieved through masturbation.

LVM choose not to use their hands/toys for masturbation but another human being's body that they deceived into thinking were into a relationship with them.

Why would a man 'need to nut' (the term itself is disgusting and offensive) in a woman in order to achieve clarity when he could well use his hand and some lube or a toy?

Because he's a NVM.

'Post nut clarity' is the equivalent of masturbating with a woman's body. It's degrading to women and any man who uses this term in relation to the woman he's just had sex with, is by default, a NVM.

The woman, in this case, is regarded as nothing but a masturbatory aide, an object of desire, a tool, an instrument, a cocksleeve attached to a breathing, living body, if you will. It's degrading because the NVM's intention is to degrade, to dehumanize and to insult the woman.

This dynamic is similar to what a narcissistic man does to his narcissistic supply victim:

love bomb, idealize, pull back, devalue and discard only to hoover back again and rope the woman back into the one-sided relationship because he wants to have his sexual needs met.

edit: grammar &co

ladylabrys · 2021-05-21T20:44:56+00:00

If you hear a man saying this, RUN. "post nut clarity" is either the shadow of his conscience telling him he's fucked up for masturbating to abused women, OR him admitting that he hates women when he's not using them for sex. ☣️

There is a term for the feeling after healthy sex: AFTER GLOW

miwamus · 2021-05-21T17:29:00+00:00

Nah. Never had it happen in real life.

It's just men trying to look cool when they're pathetic.

honestlyidkfr · 2021-05-22T00:05:49+00:00

I don’t believe in “post-nut clarity.” It’s just another excuse for men to evade blame for their own actions and reinforce the idea that “BiOLoGy” “makes” them do things / that they aren’t responsible for their own actions. Also a way for dudes to still get the brownie points with their fellow LV male friends for having sex with a woman, but get out of the teasing / shame for sleeping with an “undesirable” (ie ugly or crazy, in their eyes) woman.

ETA: also a way for me to lead a woman on with gifts, love bombing, future faking etc then drop and ghost after sex. “Post-nut clarity made me realize I didn’t want you” no you’re just manipulative.

Haven’t had any experience with this but I hear scrotes (on reddit especially) use it all the time 🙄

freelancepsychic · 2021-05-22T03:49:15+00:00

It has to do with hormone changes that occur after they ejaculate. It takes 20-30 minutes for oxytocin (the bonding hormone) to release in men, whereas it's almost instant for women. This is why men "joke" about leaving right after. They're intentionally avoiding "catching feelings". This is why it's always a red flag if he doesn't want to cuddle after sex; he doesn't want to get emotionally bonded.

TellCerseeItWasMe · 2021-05-21T13:54:43+00:00

Yes, most guys lose interest right after which is why they rollover and sleep, no afterplay, and they could care less about us cumming again

My ex said he preferred the post-sex spoon more than sex but the stuff he said was rarely based in reality

ThrowawayQueen100 · 2021-05-21T10:38:44+00:00

From what I've heard they stop feeling horny, that's it. Just because they're not horny doesn't mean they don't want you to be with them. His sexual urges with subside nothing else.

millrice · 2021-05-21T15:54:02+00:00

NoT aLl mEn from what I hear in the background 🐶🐶

haunted_vcr · 2021-05-24T20:30:38+00:00

Nah, only users have this, it means they were in it for the lust and don't care about the person. My ex-bfs have never acted this way.

In a messed up way, the good thing is if you didn't pick up red flags earlier, this is a massive "get out" banner.

Title	A question?
Author	asteria2002
Upvotes	189
Comments	86
Date	May 21, 2021 9:51 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/nhoph1/a_question/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/a-question.753605 https://theredarchive.com/post/753605

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