do men just turn into complete POS when they hit 50 or is it that generation?

MadamLeFay · 2021-06-29T17:32:59+00:00

I don't think guys like that suddenly turn into pervy skankballs. They've always been like that. Maybe they hid it better when they were younger or because they were younger, it was less obvious. You can't tell me that dude never cheated on his wife. I don't buy it.

millennialpink2000 · 2021-06-29T19:20:31+00:00

Society has told us that women fear aging, but men fear it SO MUCH worse. Men are petrified of being unfuckable, rejection from women and being obsolete in their old age.

They realize they wasted their lives 'relaxing' playing video games after work, having zero ambition, not nurturing any relationships in their lives (esp with kids and wife) and accomplishing nothing. Cue the "I need to find my bliss" vision quest they embark on that always involves a much younger woman. They don't care about imploding their family because they're so damn selfish and now they feel the clock ticking. What do men do when they feel any unpleasant emotion? Spew it on everyone around them.

Frogspocket · 2021-06-29T20:21:07+00:00

The psychology of middle aged men who are obsessed with youth could be a college course. There is so much to discover. How is it that they feel so emboldened? Why are they so confident? Where does the delusion come from? Do they REALLY not see how repulsive they are? Why do they have mid life crisis's where they burn it all down? How are they ok with their kids hating them? Do they really just not notice that people find them pitiable? Are they self aware that they're creepy?

Here's what I've learned so far as an almost 27 year old. As you get older, younger people hit on you and it's weird. You reject them because it feels wrong. But why does it feel wrong? I'm not THAT much older than a 23 year old, so what's the big deal?

Well it's a big deal because it becomes clear that people younger than 25 are moldable, vulnerable and that life experience does create a power dynamic (just like all those old people used to tell us and we didn't listen because we convinced ourselves they were just jealous).

Young people are open minded and optimistic to a fault. A lot of them are insecure and so a tiny bit of attention makes them fall for you. If I wanted to manipulate them it would be EASY. they take your advice. They soak in your compliments and attention. They are naive enough to think most people they come across are good.

across the board it's really easy to "score" a young person. They're thirsty for love and attention, they barley know anything about sex (so their minds are blown by the littlest things), they rarely have money and they rarely participate in luxuries like expensive vacations. Impressing them requires nothing other than bad morals. Sex experience alone can hook them. Young people are eeeeasy. It's hard to see or understand that when you are young yourself but it clears up very quickly as you get older.

Woman by my age pretty much all know that age gap relationships are shady (except for women who were groomed and haven't snapped out of it yet). Most of us have learned the lesson that the older men we dated in our early 20s were pathetic or even horrible people who ruined our lives, wasted our youth and caused trauma. Losers. We see it now. We know it's wrong. We're not about to put a young man through that. If a cute college kid at work had a crush on us we keep a distance. There's just no way. We'd prefer someone closer to our own age so we can sleep at night.

Men on the other hand don't even think it's wrong. They didn't go through age gap abuse when THEY were young so when they say "age is just a number" they really believe it and don't see how dating a young person could possibly ruin that person's life.

when they get to be near 30 they start to experience the same thing women experience. Young people hit on them. They notice just like we do that it's EASY. But instead of doing what we do (staying away) they think hey why not?? Nothing wrong with "love" between tWo CoNsEnTiNg AdUlTs. And then they just go right in. No hesitation. Half the time they don't even have the self awareness to know that they're gross and even if deep down they do know it they're able to weave fantastical justifications for it because society emboldens men to be selfish, entitled and careless.

This starts happening to everyone around 30. Men are just more tempted and/or lack empathy.

So there's that.

Then there's the fact that men who are married resent their wives because they think it's not fair that their mean old wives are standing in the way between them and casual sex with multiple partners. They delude themselves into thinking they would be wonderful partners to a 20 year old and make her very happy. they turn their wives into villains in their heads and it goes on for years until they literally hate them, which makes it easy for them to leave without remorse or guilt.

Davina33 · 2021-06-29T19:48:35+00:00

I've definitely noticed this trend. Even now I'm in my mid 30s, 50+ men are more disgusting to me now than ever. I've been followed off the ferry and chased, been stalked around supermarkets. I even had a guy knock on my door and ask if my home was a massage parlour! All of these creeps were in their 50s. Men of all ages can be creeps but this is the worst age group in my opinion. Also me being a mixed race woman and these being white men, they are extra offended that I reject them.

BeDiamond · 2021-06-29T19:56:55+00:00

Their testosterone is plummeting, they are starting to experience the aches of late middle age, they haven't had dating experience for decades, and they are aware that they aren't going to go higher in their careers. It's a time that most women would use to take inventory and plan their next steps.

The men skip the inventory and go straight to blaming their personal limitations and failures on the women who have supported them for many years. They have deluded themselves that they deserve a worshipful younger woman and act accordingly.

Praximaros · 2021-06-29T20:11:37+00:00

Men’s value absolutely plummets in old age. They’re usually well passed their prime earning years, it’s the first time they experience a loss in authority and respect, and they often fail to cultivate the social and family ties that give satisfaction in your later years. Acquiring a younger partner makes them feel like they can rewind the clock for some reason.

So yeah, just the general shortsightedness of patriarchy that so often causes men to shoot themselves in the foot.

europoor24 · 2021-06-29T19:57:52+00:00

This describes my NVM father to a T. Married a woman 20(?) years younger, cheated on my very HV mum for decades, afraid of aging, has many friends decades younger, was a fuckboy in his youth (no he is not aging gracefully - bald,belly,lazy,bitter) - I guess that's how they age afraid of getting old and trying to feel "young" again.

Edit: completely approves of age gap relationships (20 year old dating a 50 year old? not a problem) but not for his kids of course!

Mcccy · 2021-06-29T17:40:52+00:00

I believe those with access to porn have turned out POS. They experienced this transition from 'soft' porn like Playboy and women's lingerie magazines, to extreme hardcore porn and the rise of 'kinky' libfems.

They often feel like they 'missed out' and have this belief that even women as young as 13 are sleeping around (seriously wtf. Why would you assume that or why you sound SO sure about this?)

I honestly hope this generation is the last one where we experience all this mess but with the way things are going..I have a feeling it'll just get worse :/

Emergency-Feed8216 · 2021-06-29T23:26:45+00:00

I don't believe in midlife crisis as a real disorder but men do seem to defer the realization that they're going to age and die like everyone else.

Lifelong serial cheaters tend to have meltdowns in their forties when they notice that the really primo younger women aren't smiling back. The naive, pretty girls they might once have gaslighted into deadend affairs when these guys were younger start making the "ew" face.

To paraphrase the one quote from Milan Kundera that's worth paraphrasing, when men objectify women, they take the risk of being injured by women who willingly become objects-- objects like guns and hammers. Maybe that's not the case for really rich and powerful rapey assholes, but it is for your average cheater douche. The old basic cheater descends into the world of rough trade-- women who will take him for everything he's got.

It's sort of biblical irony, not biblical tragedy. The tragedy is for the wife and kids whose lives are torn apart and whose marital assets and college funds get embezzled.

These cheaters might have taken affairs more lightly in the past and successfully hidden them, but as they start facing chronic rejection and only get bites from more bloaty or scruffy personality disordered candidates, the balance of power starts to swing away from the aging cheater and he becomes more and more desperate. He might actually form a kind of dependency on an affair partner who balms his wounds from the increased rejection he'd been getting on the meat market. No longer King Swinging Dick, he becomes a clingy Viagra bunny with a wallet. It's at that point that serial cheaters tend to dump their families for "twu wuv."

Wives are usually blamed for cheaters' sinking midlife egos. But oldster cheaters' wounds are self-inflicted. And they do untold harm so to hell with them.

all_or_nothing_bet · 2021-06-29T18:20:36+00:00

Right? Right? I keep saying that there's something wrong with men after 50 and even the guy I'm dating said the same - they are extremely creepy, whiny and bitchy with zero self awareness.

08__80 · 2021-06-29T21:53:24+00:00

"Midlife Crisis" was an excuse popularized by men in order to excuse the feeling they get as they are aging, their hormones are plummeting, they are having penis problems, their hair is falling out, their body hair is multiplying, their stomach is getting bigger, their health is getting worse, and they are coming to terms with the fact that they are not 22 anymore.

They feel like the "midlife crisis" entitles them to acting out, whether it's the cliche of buying sports cars they can't afford, abandoning their wives and children, obtaining mistresses, or whatever disgusting scrote activity they choose to do. See, it's not their fault, it's the "midlife crisis." It's a normal thing normal men go through. <--- No it isn't. It's a bullshit excuse made by miserable, unhappy men who want to blame everyone except themselves for their pathetic, boring lives.

Men in their 50's have been like this for a very long time, it's not generational and it's nothing new. I just worry that with these past few generations (Younger Millenials, Gen Z, Gen Alpha) who are growing up with hardcore porn at their fingertips, it's going to be worse than ever and it's going to happen much sooner (late 30's early 40's) due to ED and unhealthy basement-dwelling lifestyle of the singe scrote. Believe it or not, these men used to have a little bit of shame back in the day. Now that's gone too. It's just 100% entitlement and incel-rage now.

benno_the_beast · 2021-06-29T20:42:59+00:00

It completely baffles me that some 50 + men really think they look "good". Sir, have you seen a mirror lately?? I was hit on by a 53ish old man (I'm 31) and at first I was seriously shocked. SIR, do you Really think I would want your wrinkly plums?? He had bad teeth and old man crooked toes, wore sandals anyhow etc etc. He had a beer belly, gray hair and just looked older than his age in general. I honestly thought he was 60ish when I first met him. He genuinely thought he was a catch...

notthatkindofdoctorb · 2021-06-29T18:27:30+00:00

Don't worry, when you hit your 40s it will be guys in their 60s and 70s.

Ironsculpture · 2021-06-30T00:04:45+00:00

I do think that it is some sort of natural deterioration. I've observed the same thing happening to older men around me. In the same way nature didn't see a reason to preserve their physical health after the peak of their sperm quality, maybe even their mental health degenerates in the same way. Females in nature have to raise and take care of children, and even their children's children, which is why nature has made us more durable, and why we live longer. They just go crazy easier and their inhibitions and ability to reason weaken, because it simply doesn't affect our species survival in the same way. It's just my theory of course.

StainedGlassCat · 2021-06-29T20:43:53+00:00

Do men turn into a POS when they hit 50? No. They were a LVM their entire lives, and now they have lost any last whispers of youth and the desperation and denial are strong.

HV people don't magically turn into a LV person. Fact is, as people get older, the LV people are easier to spot because they have generally (not always) run through their support systems and resources, so they aren't able to mask the LV tendencies as well anymore. Also, they never learned how HV people behave, so as we all get older and calm down and find our place in the world these people start to stick out like sore thumbs.

I know it can be easy to generalize, but HVM exist and are out there. You don't notice them as much because they aren't making you uncomfortable, or doing sketchy stuff in the Target parking lot, or smell so bad you can't forget even though you definitely want to. We also don't see as many examples of them on here, because it is easy to find posts by LVM because LVM spend a lot of time online instead of leveling up! So be aware that there is sample bias here, because the HVM aren't out there posting horrible things or harassing women, so we don't tend to realize that there are many HVM and if you keep focusing on leveling up and creating the life you want your chances of meeting one are actually decent.

feelgoodlost_ · 2021-06-29T22:32:26+00:00

It’s who they have been all along, regardless of their current age. Age is just a number to them. They’re entitled baby scrotes forever. They’re just delusional from the moment they’re born until whenever they change, if they do. The old ones just demand you listen cus they’re an “elder”.

It’s nothing new. Scrotes of all ages use biology to excuse their bullshit but forget that it’s still survival of the fittest and if you have nothing to offer, maybe go improve yourself instead of conquering cus they fail at that too.

gravesearcher · 2021-06-30T01:17:32+00:00

In my personal experience, every guy I know who's done this has always had issues.

These types are only as faithful as their options and the comment about them always cheating but flaming out because cheating gets harder as they age is true.

About the age gap fetishists:

The guys you see going after teenagers when they're in their 20s never stop. They want as young as possible, but they'll go after anyone who has a huge age gap with them. He's 60? He'll hit on teens and 20s, but he'll also be hitting on the 30 and 40 year olds too. He'll take whatever he can get as long as they're too young for him. He won't look at the women his own age because "they look old, are bitter, and have baggage." Some are more open about their age gap fetish than others. Some know it's shameful and try to hide it more. Never believe them that this isn't a lifelong pattern for them because it is!

I know someone who used to hit on teens and 20 year olds when he was in his late 30s early 40s. He claimed the women his own age had baggage or issues so he didn't want them. Funnily enough, now that he's pushing 60, he doesn't have that same opinion about 40 year olds anymore. They no longer are unattractive, old-looking, bitter, or have baggage and he would do anything to get a date with one. Of course, he still chases as young as possible. He loves to say he looks young and truly believes it (OH GOD HE DOESN'T!), he lies about his age, says age is just a number, and that he wasn't purposely looking for someone that young it just happened and they connected in this most special way! He'll scream that he's entitled to be with someone he finds attractive (but women don't get to do that, they have to give him a chaaaaance) but in some crazy random happenstance he only ever seems to find significantly younger women attractive even if they're objectively not as attractive as someone his own age.

frustratedmarxistfem · 2021-06-29T17:32:44+00:00

Its the age right before becoming elderly so I think self centered men lose their minds from the fear

Platipus6 · 2021-06-30T01:10:01+00:00

I want studies done on the brain damage caused by 3 decades of porn use. Men over 40 are struggling to hold basic conversations, make simple conclusions, hold more than one train of thought, or consider anyone but themselves.

They also realise their sperm is undesirable and their chance to pass on their leguhcy is long gone. They realise they're mortal and want to "even out the math" with a 20 year old lmao

Sorry bruh you can't make kids and then grandkids. gross.

BoxingChoirgal · 2021-06-30T03:38:27+00:00

57 y/o here.

My 22 y/o daughter was hit on today, on the nyc subway, (and of course totally creeped out) by a man who is much closer to my age than hers but who would nevertheless not consider me as a potential date.

It's bad out there. No doubt.

Why? Because they are delusional, entitled (due to demographics favoring them compared with women the same age) , or generally bitter/seeking domination/revenge after divorce, etc.

Humans grow older. Women have a tendency to respond to this with acceptance that we should learn, grow and evolve with age -- integrate the lessons brought by life experience.

Men, for the most part, resist/resent those lessons and seem to perceive the idea of personal growth/change as an insult.

They cling to their earlier self-definitions and want to accessorize their lives with inappropriately young women (and other non-human toys) who affirm their fantasies about their own immortality.

The only older men I have met who are not delusional are those who have been through a serious crisis:

mortal health problem (eg, one guy who was non-committal for YEARS suddenly wanted to be with me after his cancer diagnosis), death of a close loved one, bankruptcy, etc. At that point, suddenly they are appreciative of a mature woman their own age (and at that point I am NOT interested in being someone's post-midlife tit to suck on and take a second job in order to ease them into their elder years...)

JanaBanana33 · 2021-06-29T17:35:33+00:00

They need to feel like they still got it. It’s not enough to have the love of a wife for many years. They want the young hottie that the younger guys have.

throwaway23er56uz · 2021-06-29T18:42:12+00:00

I remember reading in a discussion about online dating that these guys want a woman who is young enough to serve as their carer when they are elderly.

HazyOdell · 2021-06-29T23:21:14+00:00

I saw that post and had to leave Reddit for the rest of the day. Depressing that a man will manipulate a woman for 32 years and pretend to love her until something "better" comes along. 🙄 Truly sad, disgusting, and heartbreaking.

alphasquish · 2021-06-30T01:29:14+00:00

Five words: a nurse and a purse.

katiekat0214 · 2021-06-29T23:30:40+00:00

I'll be honest, as a 50+ older woman, I wonder the same thing. Dating in 20s and 30s was a lot easier. Now it's so much more complex, with so many more layers. When younger, I for one based wanting to be with someone on attraction, shared values, shared ambitions, making sure he also did not want kids, and was a good person (not terribly thought out). That's about it! There's more but that's the broad strokes.

Now, all that, plus his backstory, how he talks about previous relationships (as well as what's not said/left out), if he has kids then what's that/those relationships like, how emotionally responsive, reciprocal, mutual he is, etc. One of the main reasons I would not at all want to marry a third time is a concern nowadays about someone else's credit score, debt, and money management abilities. NONE of that factored in when I was young; now it's major.

Around the time I became a widow, I read a LOT of books the summer J was terminally ill then died. I learned the term "nurse and purse" that so many men want: a caregiver (ie bangmaid) and a source of income. I was this to J, but he was a HVM. That said, never again. That plus the really large age gap J and I had... nope, never again. From now on, living apart together, separate finances, and if he has kids, he can do all the parenting. I will not marry a third time, live with anyone, or ever be a step-parent.

The good thing is, it gets a lot easier to vet men even from a distance, the older you get. I know I for one, and I'm not alone, can size a man up within seconds, all based on posture, clothing, and general aura of confidence or lack thereof, or positive/negative vibes. I figure any man my age, give or take 5-10 years, who just won't even acknowledge me or other older women as women, as people, has issues, and that tells me all I need to know: bullet dodged.

That said, I've always liked older men, up til menopause and J's death. I never dated any younger man. Now, being demi/greyace, I dunno who I'm attracted to. I just know it's on a case by case basis, and it all has to add up. We all start with looks, but the brain and heart (and let's be honest, wallet) better be out-freaking-standing to hold my interest long-term.

reylomeansbalance · 2021-06-29T20:21:07+00:00

It depends. My husband s granpa is 96 and the most honorable and kind man I ve ever met. While his brother was an awful angry person. They both had the same childhood and they couldnt be more different. I also love how gramps describs marriage as cooperating with each other to achieve mutual goals.

Rebeccahu777 · 2021-06-29T19:15:03+00:00

I guess they take that fake chart made by RPs saying that men peak in their 50s too seriously lmao

Pale_Yam_Straw · 2021-06-29T21:08:33+00:00

Gosh I have a great friend - you know, pretty, well-paid, organised, intelligent, late 20s - who crushes on her mid-40s boss who flirts with her. She knows intellectually that all of that is a bad idea, but emotionally - There is something going on that I don't understand. I suggested dating other guys to get her mind off him because EVERYTHING about that situation is yuck, but it obviously happens. And she does know how much about this is bad and still can't stop whatever that thing is. Me pointing out that he'll be like that with a l l women didn't help much either.

Now, about those men: I saw different developments among my relatives. Most guys, afaik, didn't turn into this kind of guys (in my immediate close relatives network, which features 6 couples in their 40s to 70s, 5 with kids, one husband did cheat on his wife with a way younger girl and now has a weird in-between thing going on where they live together and care for their kids but he has a girldfriend too). The things 5 of 4 of the "successful" couples have in common is *they have a common task (work on their agricultural / forestry profession or hobby together, have built a small shop together), demanding jobs and, even more importantly imo, *good upbringing of the guys. As in strict families that had everybody work hard and some straightforward, "backwards" morals. That doesn't mean that there isn't drama and people being assholes. But the men all have "I stand by my family and work on it" somewhere and somehow ingrained in their identity. Again, there is still that guy who lets his wife care for the kids while she is severly ill and works on his reputation and career and keeps telling everyone she is basically fine and doesn't need help. There is the guy who keeps complaining that his wife didn't stay at home but travelled (for common hobby and work) a lot and how she is a bad mother. But they didn't decide to start that Midlife Crisis, cheating with or leaving for a girl in their 20s thing and my guess would be that the reasons are these *, somehow.

ceramicunicorn · 2021-06-30T04:32:39+00:00

It’s Reddit. Disproportionately low value. Not all men (I know, I know, I don’t mean that in the hashtaggy way, I’m just answering literally) of that age are like that.

Moreover, the men that are like that at that age, were always- barring some TBI- mentally like that, i.e. seeing women as trophies and not human. It’s just that when facing mortality and loss of vitality, there becomes this urge to have that last blast, kind of like how men do if like, they’re going to prison soon or something.

Women are seen as the ultimate status symbol to guys like that, who don’t have the imagination or talent to instead compete in an Iron Man or write that book or open that corner cafe. To grow in spirit in some way. Instead it’s just consume, consume, acquire, acquire.

I know guys in their 20s that are like that now, and I pity whoever hitches their wagon to them.

BetterDeparture436 · 2021-06-30T01:12:08+00:00

Yes, they do

ussr_ftw · 2021-06-30T09:12:17+00:00

Easy - their dick is most important thing in the world to them, it stops working properly and they feel they have to overcompensate and deny that it's them who is the problem, blaming it on (usually) wife / kids / job and go out to find younger and better versions, deeply believing that it will help their dick.

signed, a woman with a psychology degree and partial master's.

MagnfiqueMaleficent · 2021-06-30T09:05:21+00:00

They were always trash humans but they have a mid life crisis beginning at 50. Instead of therapy or a new hobby, they get desperate and start panicking.

It’s pathetic to watch. I respect a man who isn’t embarrassed to go to therapy and work on his fears. Not the manbabies who are trying to fuck their way back to their youth.

Theboredshrimp · 2021-06-30T19:26:30+00:00

They get hasty and desperate. They finally hear the ticking of the biological clock they've projected on women for so long.

Title	do men just turn into complete POS when they hit 50 or is it that generation?
Author	RenalSecretions
Upvotes	520
Comments	90
Date	June 29, 2021 3:25 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/oaaiyg/do_men_just_turn_into_complete_pos_when_they_hit/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/do-men-just-turn-into-complete-pos-when-they-hit.787777 https://theredarchive.com/post/787777

Comments

What do men do when they feel any unpleasant emotion? Spew it on everyone around them.