'Ouch my ego'

avakadava · 2020-07-07T12:37:16+00:00

Once I copy pasted a hurtful message a guy had previously sent me a few days later and he was like don't show me that, I dont want to see myself speaking to you that way

libralia · 2020-07-07T13:37:41+00:00

Man: "it hurts my feelings when you tell me the horrible things I've done to you"

Woman: "fine then, we're over."

Man on Reddit later: "after I opened up to my girlfriend and was vulnerable with her she left me, this is why men are oppressed :(" -10k upvotes

Sea_Soil · 2020-07-07T12:09:35+00:00

My ex would tell me I was being abusive anytime I wanted to sit down and discuss the relationship!!!!!

Me: "it really hurt me yesterday when you said I wasn't toned enough. Can we talk about it?"

Him: "This is abusive!"

edit: Men be like

Capable_Okra · 2020-07-07T14:08:21+00:00

This was my ex too!! He got so mad any time my feelings were hurt because "he didn't mean to" so therefore I had no right to be upset. So by his logic, he was never responsible for apologizing or changing, because he would say he didn't have bad intentions. Apparently the only time you ever need to apologize or acknowledge someone's feelings is when you are acting maliciously.

king12807 · 2020-07-07T10:44:25+00:00

My dad has been passive aggressively shitty with me for not coming out for the 4th because he had a CROWD and with COVID I just didn't feel safe.

Sunday I talked with him on the phone and told him I missed him and he responded with "well that's what you get" and hung up.

He called yesterday a couple times (we talk almost every day) and finally texted why I wasn't picking up. I texted "well that's what you get."

He BLEW UP! "How dare you talk to me like that. So disrespectful. You're so sensitive."

Poor little man feelings. So touchy.

buzzkillyall · 2020-07-07T14:12:39+00:00

My ex told me that I should work on my self-love. I calmly agreed, & mentioned that the years of verbal abuse had wrecked my self-esteem, and I'm not the same person I was 10 years ago. I am, at least, in therapy. Que the meltdown and suicide threats. This man is over 50 years old. Poor, poor him. How the hell did he think the screaming and belittling felt, FFS? How is mentioning it worse than enduring it?

Zambigulator · 2020-07-07T12:02:56+00:00

Hahahahaha this was my ex!!

OrchidLion · 2020-07-07T15:31:41+00:00

My ex would lose his cool when ever to would show him the abusive rude texts he sent me in the past.

"Bro stop fucking screenshotting me it makes me uncomfortable"

Why bitch? Can't face your own actions in the mirror???

FaginRagette · 2020-07-07T15:28:28+00:00

I could never mention anything my ex did to me because "it was in the past" and "the past is the past. Let it go". If I persisted to try to speak calmly yet assertively, he'd accuse me of being "emotional". When I'd tell him that I wasn't emotional then he'd accuse me of being "hysterical" and "crazy" and "looking for a fight". He told his friends and family that I was abusive. Like Uhm.

You can literally hit me and do all sorts of unkind and cruel things to me , not apologize other than "I'm sorry you feel that way".. never let me speak and discuss on order to reach an understanding. Never let me set boundaries so that the past couldn't repeat itself ... But I'm the abusive one ?

When I spoke to him recently, (we have contact because of our son) he literally used a quote from a cartoon when I accused him of gaslighting (he does this thing where he freaks out and go off and then tries to tell me that he was speaking normal and that I started going off for no reason if I finally react..). He said "there's no such thing as gaslighting. You just say that because you're crazy". I found that it was from a cartoon and that he'd read it on a FB status from one of his boys... Like dude, you do know that's satire and that the man literally was gaslighting the woman by that sentence and that's the joke.. but he did not understand.

gcfemtastic · 2020-07-07T15:41:45+00:00

Lol

I had ex boyfriend call crying on the phone a month after I left him about how upset he was because I had once called him a monster.

Lol. This dude strangled and sexual assaulted me, my response was to call him a monster and leave. Literally that was it on my end.

But he was hurt by my big meanie word.

pacachan · 2020-07-07T16:00:56+00:00

When you confront him on his actions hurting you and he makes a big deal about how he feels SO BAD and he actually starts crying and wants you to comfort him. I've actually said "stop crying, it won't work on me, apologize" in an argument before because I just couldn't take it anymore. Guess who stopped crying lol

Seranova7788 · 2020-07-07T14:01:45+00:00

This was definitely my ex and then he'd have the audacity to complain that I was being mean to him!

chateauduchat · 2020-07-07T14:32:30+00:00

🚩 my narc ex to a tee 🚩

NoThisIs-Patrick · 2020-07-07T17:22:44+00:00

lol. My most recent ex claimed he was a great communicator. But whenever I tried to talk about shit he was doing that was upsetting me or that I wanted to work on he would be all "Stop talking about the past!"

Even if he did it yesterday. And one time, I shit you not, he did something that I'd been trying to deal with for forever so I brought it up. He'd done it just ten minutes ago. Convo literally went like this:

Me: I want to talk about X thing

Him: Stop talking about the past!

Me: But... it just happened... that was ten minutes ago

Him: Yeah! That's the past!

Fucking asshole. I literally felt like I was going insane. Then he said he didn't want to date someone that was "negative all the time". When I was literally just trying to get him to spend a single weekend with me (he didn't spend a full weekend with me in three fucking years) or make plans to go camping or something.

But yeah, I should be super positive and happy to be with a guy who would only have sex with me once a week, only once in that evening, stopped even having foreplay with me, stopped taking me out, never wanted to meet my friends.

Jesus Christ what the hell was wrong with me putting up with that. Worst boyfriend I've ever had. We interacted well in other ways, but as a boyfriend he was shit.

wedonthavetobeishtar · 2020-07-07T15:11:01+00:00

This was my ex and so are all the comments. Didn’t realize he got around so much!

daisy_0720 · 2020-07-07T14:19:30+00:00

Yep, and then you end up apologizing to them for hurting THEIR feelings.

Never again.

jucamonole · 2020-07-07T15:43:40+00:00

Literally laughed out loud. My ex actually said this very same thing... 😂 you cannot make this shit up!

un_dau · 2020-07-07T16:43:35+00:00

Had an ex who was literally like "being with you makes me feel bad about myself because you say I don't treat you that well, and yeah, maybe I don't, but it's such a downer, man :("

Nearly self aware, just nearly

somberprincess · 2020-07-07T17:43:56+00:00

loool I snorted. Reminds me this time I dodged a bullet. Told him not to patronise me because it isn’t nice and he said “yeah, well you’re not being nice, telling me I’m patronising. That’s not nice is it. See you always turn things on me.” I then said “that’s a childish response, I was just asking you not to patronise me” and he said “now you’re calling me a child, see, that’s isn’t nice.” Boy bye.

likejackandsally · 2020-07-07T17:59:44+00:00

My scrote ex completely stopped his personal hygiene about a year and a half into our relationship. He would bathe maybe once a week. Started smoking. Stopped brushing his teeth.

Of course our sex life died because he smelled horrible and I was just grossed out when he touched me. When he asked why I wasn’t interested anymore I told him “I’m a little offended by your lack of hygiene. Is there something going on that we can work on to get it back on track?”

His response was “I can’t believe you think I stink and I’m dirty. You aren’t perfect either. You’re such a mean person to make fun of me. I can’t believe you’d say something like that!”

So for the next 2.5 years he’d only shower when he wanted sex. And then after we broke up and he started dating a new girl he started showering and brushing his teeth daily again.

AccomplishedCan9 · 2020-07-07T14:35:52+00:00

Currently going through this exact thing. Everytime I mention it, he threatens to break up.

ginnnnie · 2020-07-07T16:57:22+00:00

BIGGEST ISSUE IN MY LAST RELATIONSHIP

BWKitteh · 2020-07-07T12:56:07+00:00

Ugh! That was so my ex! Last year, three years after we broke up, he contacted me and I ended up inviting back to my country to see if we could rekindle things.

The moment when I realised that would not be possible was when he said almost exactly that, that he didn't understand why we had to go over everything that happened and that hurt my feelings during our relationship. I blocked him as soon as I could after he went back home.

PollyAnnaSunshine · 2020-07-07T22:02:32+00:00

My ex: refuse to listen to me speak, talk until he wears himself out, get tired of talking and say discussion is over.

Me: responds by writing letter

My ex: "I'm saddened to hear you think I treat you poorly"

Me: [breaks up w/ him for acting disrespectful and allowing his family to breach boundaries over and over again]

My ex: "I read an article about narcissism today and YOU are the REAL narcissist!"

Me: Rolls eyes, tells him to GTFO of my apartment

delishtis · 2020-07-07T15:18:33+00:00

Omg.

An “ex” accused me of emotional abuse any time I tried to talk to him about something other than himself.

He never paid for a single thing in our relationship despite me bringing it up over and over again (I know, I know, disgusting)

Finally, I politely asked him if he would please pay for movie tickets for the film we were going to go see together that night and he yelled at me about how I was being abusive and he was tired of me “gaslighting him” 😂

thepastamancer · 2020-07-07T16:04:43+00:00

My ex 100%!

Vonoah · 2020-07-07T16:46:04+00:00

Are there men who don’t do this? Who see the wrongs and don’t forget and remake the same mistakes down the line?

Mine is treating me differently now that I finally told him the whole of how I feel when he treats me wrong.

Figured this was just a guy thing.

bey124 · 2020-07-07T17:03:43+00:00

It’s kind of sad how legit this one is

veruscka · 2020-07-07T17:43:41+00:00

My ex is triggered

lexiconGND · 2020-07-07T22:19:58+00:00

I’ve talked to so many women who have been disrespected, insulted and even raped by their partners and they aren’t apologetic in the slightest. They just say some bs like “it was never my intention to hurt you” or “but I needed you and you weren’t there” or some variation. Seriously wtf is wrong with these men.

meltedhippo · 2020-07-07T17:22:27+00:00

I’m seriously going through this rn. This touches my soul.

Killer_Bhree · 2020-07-07T19:13:51+00:00

This gets me every time 🤣

ChocolateBiscuit96 · 2020-07-08T14:08:13+00:00

THANK YOU!!! I CONFRONTED THIS GUY ABOUT LYING TO ME FOR MONTHS. I have screenshots and everything and one day I just snapped and laid his ass out. I sent him a screenshot of every lie and excuse he told to me. Then of course, he attempted to turn it on me and called me bipolar.

asamin · 2020-07-07T14:39:04+00:00

Doing it continuously with the same reasons behind it is abuse. Bringing it up in a calm situation to work through problems together is fine, bringing it up to win an argument is abuse.

2020-07-07T15:49:58+00:00

This

4BigData · 2020-07-07T20:02:25+00:00

What value do they really add?

catchaleaf · 2020-07-07T21:53:37+00:00

This happened to me bc recently. He said Idk what to tell you, I was joking after I said multiple times something he said was hurtful. They are Not a fan of us reacting and informing them of .

adajoana · 2020-07-08T01:21:09+00:00

Your pain is abusive!

sadpourtoujours · 2020-07-08T05:13:16+00:00

This is my ex holy shit.

ThrowRACapoChanger · 2020-07-08T15:58:47+00:00

Omg. Nailed it.

Title	'Ouch my ego'
Author	carachu
Upvotes	2181
Comments	107
Date	July 7, 2020 10:33 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/hms3u1/ouch_my_ego/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/ouch-my-ego.713316 https://theredarchive.com/post/713316

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