Spotted in another sub. Subtle red flag that I (as a short-legged woman) have experienced too!

onelifetolive001 · 2021-10-26T21:47:48+00:00

This is something I also never realized until recently. My LV ex knew I was blind in one eye and so I asked him not to walk on that side. Especially in crowds I couldn't see him and it was really anxiety inducing - and despite all my reminding, he never took the hint! Now I know better than to put up with that kind of disrespect.

aluriaphin · 2021-10-26T21:51:55+00:00

My sister's LV husband does this to her all the time. The three of us went on a hike last summer that ended up being longer and more arduous than we anticipated and at one point we were actually lost. He was constantly blazing ahead of us, sometimes almost out of sight. He and I are both taller (longer legs) and more outdoorsy than her so if we both had just gone at our own pace we could have easily left her behind in the woods. I personally subscribe to the wolf pack philosophy of NEVER letting the weakest member bring up the rear for this reason, the strongest or second strongest hiker should be at the back to make sure everyone stays together. She couldn't understand why I kept slowing down and having her pass me. I'm like "this jack ass might be happy to abandon you in the friggin' wilderness but I'm making sure you're okay and we all get home safe, period."

Zeniite · 2021-10-26T23:36:16+00:00

My narcissistic cardiologist ex began walking way ahead of me early on. The first time was at the airport. We had plenty of time to get to our gate and he was telling me to walk faster, then went way ahead of me without looking back to see how far behind I was lagging. I was carrying a very heavy backpack and was too tired to speed up, so I popped in some earbuds and began to walk at a leisurely pace, stopped once or twice to check out one of the shops. He finally looked back when he realized I wasn’t chasing after him and got soooo mad. I 10/10 would recommend this strategy with any dude who leaves you behind so they can see you’re not fretting over them disappearing. And then to further prove your point, dump his ass.

Platipus6 · 2021-10-26T22:44:31+00:00

This is why you don't go to therapy with an abuser. Look at this asshole slinging out the "my need to charge ahead and watch you stumble trying to catch up isn't being met"

GabbaG0ul · 2021-10-26T23:36:15+00:00

This is a red flag. Abusers/narcissists/sociopaths aren’t always calculated. A lot of the times they just throw shitty behaviors out and see what sticks. This shitty behavior makes him feel that 1. He is above her physically 2. She is at his mercy with speed. He wants her to physically struggle to be near him.

Healingirl · 2021-10-26T22:16:07+00:00

Oh this is massively disrespectful! And this all interaction is the start of (if not already there) emotional abuse... Hope she gets out before it's too late...if you have to explain basic human decency to someone, they are a psychopath to me. Period. Let's stop trying to understand the why to what, the behavior is just there in front of OP.

dkwantsdk · 2021-10-26T23:21:01+00:00

It's amazing how the red flags multiply. You poke at one (walking ahead) and 10 more fly out (DARVO and treating her as a bangmaid and mommy).

RabidWench · 2021-10-27T03:00:13+00:00

That is not subtle. Not only is he literally abandoning her in public places but he's saying it's her fucking fault and he feels disrespected by her being slower. Dude, if you're walking somewhere together and you don't think she can go fast enough, then maybe plan ahead (her walking speed is not a fucking surprise every time you go out!) and help her get the leaving chores done faster instead of waiting by the door acting like she's a burden when she's taking care of your joint animals/responsibilities and you've got your thumb up your ass.

This man is a walking red flag parade. A fast one.

Move out, block and delete.

galian84 · 2021-10-27T00:48:13+00:00

Yes, this is 🚩🚩

The disrespectful scrote exes I had ALL did this once the mask slipped. And I’m typically a very fast walker. They still overtook me and complained that I walked too slow. I had an ex who was a wheelchair user and even he would just roll way ahead of me 😑

I had one ex who I rode motorcycles with. I was a newer rider with a smaller bike, and my ex’s cousin was also there. The plan was for me to ride in the middle. The two idiots took off way ahead of me several times because I was “too slow”, and then made fun of my smaller bike. This same stupid ex also dropped my bike when trying to park it for me, and he also got into a bike accident a few weeks after that. Can’t say I felt that bad for him…

FUBARfromLSA · 2021-10-27T00:04:43+00:00

Huge red flag.

I slow down purposely and take my time when someone tries to rush me or walk ahead of me.

It’s super disrespectful for anyone to assume you’ll struggle to keep up with them as though they are that important.

iggypiggyfiggy · 2021-10-27T00:09:30+00:00

Lol did we all date the same guy 🙄

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2021-10-27T01:13:12+00:00

This one sounds like a prince.

Even his manipulative language is a huge red flag. If a man ever turns things around on you like this block and drop him. He hates you and is just using you. Gaming you is just a game and he wins.

aoi4eg · 2021-10-27T09:25:20+00:00

Fun fact: this is actually how I found FDS. Someone commented about this community in another subreddit and their comment described women there as "female inc*ls who get mad when a guy walks ahead of them!". Like, it was so specific that I had to check it myself!

My ex used to do it. And on top of walking 4-5 feet ahead, he also talked to me at the same time and was pissed when I asked to repeat what he said or didn't acknowledge him talking at all because I couldn't hear him. Once he met me in a parking lot and I forgot my phone in the car. He said, "Well, I'm not going to go back with you, also not gonna wait here, so meet me at the restaurant" and walked away. I got back to my car, switched the phone off and drove home.

aquietsword · 2021-10-27T00:03:40+00:00

I would also call this a red flag. And I think it's always advisable not to talk about red flags, just walk away from them.

frogchickenhorse · 2021-10-27T01:17:14+00:00

Oh my god, why do we even bother with them. It’s all mind games and power trips, disrespectful behaviour and pushing of boundaries. I am done with them

bluemexicanblanket · 2021-10-27T01:43:20+00:00

my ex admitted that he walked in front of me because he was embarrassed and he didn’t like my outfits. they were too revealing apparently

quiteshall0w · 2021-10-27T01:36:38+00:00

There was a recent study claiming that men walk slower near their significant others and don't slow down for pretty much anyone else. I think, it has something to do with it.

ReadLearnLove · 2021-10-27T02:34:50+00:00

Oh yes. Big disrespect. My narcissistic ex would do this frequently, and if we were walking with a third person, he would try to walk ahead of me with them, and do his uber-intensity act on them, trying to get that person listening to him. Lord knows what he was telling them, but probably some lies about me! I was very confused by his conduct before I understood narcissism and entitlement. What a sad and weak little scrote he is. SMH and walk away. This is my mantra now. Getting lots of steps in, and I do not even date!

todaysthrowaway2307 · 2021-10-27T06:54:58+00:00

I am not exaggerating when I say I’d dump a man for this. If he’s walking ahead of me, it better be to hail a taxi we want to hop into. I can’t think of many other reasons. Helping someone who needs medical attention?

Softrito · 2021-10-27T03:03:04+00:00

Why is it that men can't respect our boundaries? They are not put there to hurt you, sir. They are put there to help you love me better.

divination__ · 2021-10-27T12:13:42+00:00

i honestly think this is one of the biggest indicators of disrespect. i would also absolutely hate it when my ex would pounce out of the cafe while i was still gathering my things and wait outside for me, instead of just waiting for me by the table. i have never done that to anyone, it's so rude and embarrassing. another sign of disrespect is taking the booth seat and giving you the chair/less comfortable chair. they seem minor but you don't have to put up with it, every little act is a conscious decision, it just betrays how he really feels about you: disdain.

Peak_Tree · 2021-10-27T01:43:29+00:00

I'm a lot taller than the average woman over here. In fact I'm the height of an average men and many women have told me ther SOs say they can't walk with them because "short legs" so how come I can do it If I'm as tall as those men?

fingerlimepie · 2021-10-27T02:27:48+00:00

My shitty ex was tall and would stride ahead of me every chance he got. I once told my current bf that he was a perfect height because he would keep pace with me, and he burst out laughing "no it's because I want to walk next to you? I'm not going to walk off ahead cos I'm not a massive arsehole? Who would do that??"

zorua · 2021-10-27T01:38:07+00:00

My narc ex did this all the time. Some will do it on purpose.

AnniaT · 2021-10-27T08:15:39+00:00

I've come to realize this with experience. The men who displayed HV behavior on other areas and actions with me, always walked by my side, even though their natural pace was faster than me. They always slowed down for me. The LV men I've encountered didn't care and walked ahead if I wasn't able to keep up their pace. I believe it can be seen as a red flag and indicator other future issues in the relationship.

lightcobaltblue · 2021-10-27T07:40:40+00:00

I experienced this with two exes. I agree with you ladies, it's a huge sign of disrespect. One of them was cruel in different ways, the other just couldn't care about other people a lot in a somewhat less malicious way. I recommend walking away from those people.

Specific-Composer300 · 2021-10-27T07:50:59+00:00

"over several years". Forever girlfriend. Tells you all you need to know.

thanarealnobody · 2021-10-27T13:28:32+00:00

Oh yeah, I totally notice this in guys now. I’m 4’11 and so I’m not the fastest.

Recently on a date, this guy would just walk ahead of me and I had to rush behind him, like I was an unsupervised child.

It just shows immaturity and lack of understanding of romance. They don’t even understand the tenderness of walking next to someone. Plenty of guys know this and will walk beside me, attentive and enjoying my company. There’s no excuses.

mrsklay · 2021-10-27T14:01:08+00:00

My loser LV ex did same, I’m very petite with short legs so naturally I walk slower than him being 6 feet tall. I asked him several times to match my pace but he always responded with he’s used to walking fast and that he has no time to waste.

Walking ahead of me so much made me notice his awful posture and stride, my Mum said he walked like a cow lol, what a loser!

SimplySharon1215 · 2021-10-27T13:33:17+00:00

I find it really interesting that her first concern was the walking issue, but she later edited that there are other issues. One red flag, no matter how small typically leads to much larger ones. It's like pulling a thread on a sweater, pretty soon the whole thing unravels when you begin that tiny pull.

Feministtiktok · 2021-10-27T04:20:57+00:00

Who are y’all dating that refuse to even walk next to you? Like damn 😂 I’ve dated some awful dudes but none would have lasted past the 1st date if they didn’t even walk next to me. That’s rude to just walk away from someone. I don’t think an ex and I ever did that unless we were in an argument and even then I doubt we’d walk at different speeds just because that’s super fucking weird and awkward

LadyArellano · 2021-10-27T14:27:14+00:00

Oof. This one stings me. Is OP me? I never realized this red flag with my LVM ex till recently.

Edit: I also am a very short legged person. I’m a very petite female.

Cel_Gabe · 2021-10-27T16:09:48+00:00

Its rude!

Its not considerate of their partner nor is it protective. Something can happen to their partner behind them and they wouldn't even know.

BananaSlugGhost · 2021-10-27T17:48:13+00:00

I’m just imagining this scrote shoving his date to the ground to power walk away with his ass cheeks clenched tight

ShieldMaidenLagertha · 2021-10-28T03:49:47+00:00

Wake up OP….you’re his servant, not his partner!

repurposedschleem · 2021-10-27T16:55:13+00:00

Yup. And it got worse after my arthritis diagnosis.

That POS never loved me and I clung on even when it was obvious because I didn’t yet love myself.

I wish I could go back in time and rescue myself. My one regret in life is not kicking that man to the curb sooner.

LeaNoodles · 2021-10-27T19:06:45+00:00

[permanently deleted]

jewdiful · 2021-11-01T14:15:45+00:00

My dad does this to my mom who has COPD and can’t walk as fast as him. I just sent him a screenshot asking him to be aware of it haha let’s see what he says😆

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Title	Spotted in another sub. Subtle red flag that I (as a short-legged woman) have experienced too!
Author	LeaNoodles
Upvotes	581
Comments	71
Date	October 26, 2021 9:34 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/qgguh0/spotted_in_another_sub_subtle_red_flag_that_i_as/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/spotted-in-another-sub-subtle-red-flag-that-i-as-a.1081667 https://theredarchive.com/post/1081667

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