"WIFE 💍"

sassyheather · 2021-10-08T10:02:51+00:00

A girl from my high school had “XYZ’s better half” on her Instagram description for years. I totally agree that she’s better, but why did it have to be about XYZ and even mentioning him? Oh, and btw XYZ is ofc 10 years older than her, started dating her when she was 19 and they’ve been together almost 8 years with, yes you guessed it, no ring in sight.

BlueSkiesOverLondon · 2021-10-08T14:15:27+00:00

Catch a man putting “husband” above his career in his bio lol

Mysterious_Call_924 · 2021-10-08T06:27:30+00:00

I notice this over and over again that women will list all their titles in relation to other people, but never actually say anything about themselves

Example:

Wife 💍 Mother of two beautiful boys 👶👶 | Ephesians 5:22-33

Emergency-Feed8216 · 2021-10-08T12:05:17+00:00

I'm not sure in all cases of course, but I'm guessing it's mostly defensive.

For instance, I didn't fill out the bio section of my page on an international group that organizes activities for travelers and expats. Then I learned many men on the site were using this as a dating/hookup app, so I filled out the bio emphasizing stuff about just me first, then mentioning at the bottom the fact I'm a married mom. Still got hit up. Then I put wife and mother first.

What I learned is there's a whole universe of personality disordered people whose kink involves cheating and betrayal-- cheating on mates or poaching married people. It's like they can't get off without the existance of triangulation and victims. Someone has to suffer to make their orgasms more tingly or something. Ew.

Basically if you don't put !!!WIFE!!!" up front it's read as "wife, wink wink."

Zurflu · 2021-10-08T14:27:32+00:00

There is a woman on my Facebook list who starts off every positive post by thanking her husband for supporting her and explaining how she wouldn't have any of her accomplishments without him.

She starts every negative post by saying how scared she is that she's a bad wife for going through stress/struggles and praising her husband for telling her she's not actually a bad wife. (Example: "I woke up crying in the middle of the night about how inadequate I feel as a wife and hubby was there to tell me everything is ok and that I'm doing great ☺️")

Any time she shows off her cooking, it's alongside a paragraph about how she's trying so hard to be a good wife for her husband.

And yes, her bio is "wifey to the best man in the world ❤️"

He never posts on his Facebook and never comments on any of her stuff.

Her page is like a cringe factory to me, or a car accident I can't look away from. She is married to my boyfriend's brother so we are acquaintances, but it wouldn't be my place to try to offer her advice unless she asked me for it which I don't think will happen (she's the one who's wifey, after all).

Platipus6 · 2021-10-08T06:37:08+00:00

And the only time men are called husband and father is on their tombstone.

Gotta appear single at all times, just in case ;)

squashmybutternuts · 2021-10-08T07:13:56+00:00

ughhhhhhh i'm a gen z teenager and i see this shit all the time with ladies my age too. always rubs me the wrong way ong like miss me with that shit bro

putting your boyfriend's name on your bio rlly??????

im a big believer in 'single until married' mantra can't relate

__kamikaze__ · 2021-10-08T10:15:27+00:00

And let’s not forget their profile pictures that MUST include their husband, and/or little Jayden and Mason 🙄

CaliforniaKed · 2021-10-08T10:40:50+00:00

People I know who do this have cheating husbands.

lunchladyshand · 2021-10-08T13:28:31+00:00

I don’t know, sometimes I’ll wear a fake wedding band to work in an attempt to make men not hit on me. Then if they decide to hit on me anyway, I can say “fuck off, I’m married”.

I’m sure a lot of them are proudly married, and I agree that’s a gross thing to wrap their identities around, but also maybe by blasting it out there in the forefront, it makes it easier to tell randos in their DMs to fuck off. (Though don’t get me started on men not respecting the word “no” unless it’s because you already “belong” to another man.)

XNjunEar · 2021-10-08T07:55:29+00:00

If they were brought up to think that THE goal in life is to get married, they did it, that is their accomplishment! That sounds like some of my cousins who told me, at 20 "oh but you don't have a formal boyfriend"...they married young and are all now divorced. They were all brought up to think that marriage had to be the top of the top ten in their list of things to do.

Those of you with daughters (I only have a cat and she refuses to share her home) let's bring them up to realise that they should have their OWN goals in life and that marriage is not THE goal, please.

katiekat0214 · 2021-10-08T14:11:43+00:00

Growing up in the Deep South, I felt drowned in this, and hated it. I grew up luckily just being able to be myself, and it made all the difference. I wasn't socialized terribly femmy, partly from being the baby of the family by 11 years (older sister, older brother by over a decade), and partly just being raised out in the country, with room to roam and think and be myself.

I always pushed back on this subtly, by saying I was a journalist, or teacher, and then listing a whole bunch of other things: poet, writer, blogger, investor, amateur artist, international traveler, etc. And then at the end, append "wife". When someone would start talking to me, and ask if I was married, I'd always say "yes but" and segue into work and hobby talk. Many's the time I said, I'm a career woman first, wife second.

Maybe defensive, and if so I own it, but I just was not going to be seen as a woman who defined myself through relationships with others. I was GOING to be seen as a woman who defined myself on my own terms, ie my accomplishments and talents first. Again, quick, easy vetting strategy: if people welcome that info about you and want to know more, awesome, they're probably worth getting to know. If they don't show curiosity, and just want to see you in a certain role, walk away. Not worth knowing, very traditional, very close-minded. No loss.

PetuniaXo · 2021-10-08T15:37:21+00:00

I'm not even a woman who puts her career above everything. I'm just saying every woman should have passions, hobbies, qualities, unique characteristics, SOMETHING that makes them...them. Having a husband or children should not be your whole personality or the only way you define yourself.

Risoa · 2021-10-08T10:50:55+00:00

LOL “wife of LVM” Being a wife isn’t a personality trait sis

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2021-10-08T08:11:16+00:00

Tell me we won't be friends without telling me we won't be friends.

warinmymind94 · 2021-10-09T15:21:31+00:00

pickmes completely loose their own sense of identity when they get picked, ie become a wife. they really think that they have to go into that bang maid role, their whole life now revolves around the man, and the kids if they have kids. it's a scary thing to think about because I wonder how many of the pickmes are so brainwashed by the patriarchy that they go into marriage thinking that's what they have to do, let alone be excited about it. also though I wonder how many times the husband takes a pickme and then just wears her down and traps her so she gradually looses herself rather than just giving it all up

ariaa126 · 2021-10-08T08:43:08+00:00

Yes I’ve noticed this. And once they included that title on their bio, suddenly their whole profile revolves around their relationship. Not just married women, even those who are just bf/gf have this on their bio. And some women I noticed, actually started changing their hobbies to match with their SO, eg. Started going to the gym with the SO for “gym dates, car wash dates, etc”. Sis, what happened to your previous dinner dates??

Sweetlikecream · 2021-10-08T09:23:50+00:00

Or women who make their life based on being a Mother.

"David's mom" 👩‍👦

PetuniaXo · 2021-10-08T15:34:19+00:00

It's a bit bizarre to me sometimes, y'all. Some women could be a New York Times Bestselling Author or a world record holder and they'd probably still put "WIFE" first. 🤔. I think love can be a beautiful thing (if he's not low value) but the conditioning runs so deep.

SkiesEclipse · 2021-10-08T16:41:00+00:00

I’d like to think that the reason women do that, is so that they can curtail some of the creepy dms they get from men. But it’s a fools errand, men won’t be deterred by having “wife” in your bio lol.

arnezuara · 2021-10-08T13:17:16+00:00

Among other reasons, they are also marking their territory. Many of these women know, subconsciously or else, that their husbands may be cheating or will cheat, given the opportunity.

Unfortunately, LVM and LVW do not care whether or not one of them is married. They’ll do what they need to do to scratch the itch.

These women get their identities and personal lives bullied out of them to ensure they stay in line, caretaking for the husband and kids.

shedipity · 2021-10-08T10:13:41+00:00

There’s like praise around being a wife these days. “baby momma” too 🙄 why are we praising women who take care of the worst men? Seems like a punishment to me! I think they’re often the type of women who dream of marriage and their whole goal in life is to find a husband.

Biracial_tooth_fairy · 2021-10-08T17:22:26+00:00

Damn straight. I want to be proud of whoever I marry but I don't want my life revolving around his.

Novemberinthechair · 2021-10-09T20:38:11+00:00

Yeah, I noticed that. And women who hide behind their children. Their profile pic is either an image of their kids, or they just refer to themselves as a mom, or like, Brayden's mommy.

lucidlotus · 2021-10-08T13:04:17+00:00

Is it lame? Yes. Is it a product of social brainwashing? Also yes. I think these women deserve empathy more than scorn. They don’t really understand their own behavior. (Your post wasn’t scornful but some of the comments are.)

MummyCroc · 2021-10-08T07:18:12+00:00

This made me look at my Twitter profile, and I heaved a sigh of relief at mine. I felt attacked lol

Jaelismyhomegirl · 2021-10-08T15:16:35+00:00

I’d rather see someone identify themselves as “dog mom” than “WIFE 💍”. At least that tells me something about them.

leekykeeks · 2021-10-13T18:57:56+00:00

“Wife and Mother” are not accomplishments to me.

Japanese-Spaghetti · 2021-10-22T02:40:05+00:00

I don’t see any problem with it. I would do it but then again I barely use my personal social media pages anyway. Being a wife, especially a stay at home wife, IS A CAREER

"WIFE 💍"

Comments

boymom

Title	"WIFE 💍"
Author	PetuniaXo
Upvotes	589
Comments	69
Date	October 8, 2021 6:18 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/q3rxci/wife/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/wife.1076762 https://theredarchive.com/post/1076762