GF has started getting violent on me. I left her today after she beat me. Peoples reactions have been insane

Wikdcard345 · 2015-02-08T05:52:18+00:00

Please don't allow yourself to be shamed into thinking this is your fault or that you should go back to this abuser. It isn't, you did the right thing leaving and don't ever go back. Take some time to yourself, heal, move on and you will get through this. If the abuser harasses you get a restraining order.

Make some life changes when you can life the gym, martial arts etc, to improve your self confidence and abilities if this situation occurs again. Lastly good luck and you can only be better now that you have moved out.

ZhanchiMan · 2015-02-08T10:35:41+00:00

My GF emailed me and said "sorry I was pushing you so hard but ____"

PUSHING? She was beating on me. I could not imagine how bad it would be if I was the one who resorted to violence.

She's already trying to downplay how bad the actual abuse was, OP.

I don't know how much you suffered, but I can tell you this: I would stay away from her, and I would not give it a second thought.

Cease contact. Don't talk to her at all. If you do talk to her at all, it's in an extreme business-like manner, and you only do it when you have to. If you are living in her housing, move out immediately. If she is living in your housing, have her and her things escorted off the premises and change your locks.

This seems extreme, but it's for the best. If you do go back, she will eventually break down and do it again. She has already proven it to you that she will do it. It's in both your best interests that you separate. You need to regain your confidence and your sanity.

If you do decide to try to work it out, always remember that she can and will hit you. If her temper is clinically bad, I would suggest talking with her to see if she thinks she needs some sort of medication. Anger/bad temper could be caused by depression. Otherwise, godspeed.

ustael · 2015-02-08T07:14:35+00:00

I tried to tell the court about my ex's violent behavior. She would hit me, the kids. I didn't do anything because I convinced her to go the therapy with me. I thought things would get better. And they didn't. When I left, and filed for custody of my son I tried to tell mediation about it but they just did not want to hear it. The asked if I had a police report and I said no. My list from when I started to document each instance for 6 months did not count for squat. If your partner hits you, call the cops. You need to have them document the situation and if they do everyone will take you more seriously. I have lost mutual friends who believe her that I am lying to try and get my son. But everyone who knows me, believes me. But that does not count in court.

ECU_BSN · 2015-02-08T14:43:55+00:00

My Husband was previously married to his first for 12 years. They were married quite young BC she got pregnant. For the duration of the marriage he was in the army.

She started hitting/pushing/slapping him within weeks. After the oldest was born it escalated drastically. (They had 3 kids-which I have adopted since our marriage)

Her "favorite" maneuver was to punch his face & break his glasses.

He would try everything to de-escalate her attacks. when she would go on a rampage he would put himself in the path so she never went after the kids.

There were a few times where neighbors or friends called the cops (the MP).

When MP would arrive...he would sit in handcuffs or in the back of the car while they counseled her on abuse, women shelters, handed her pamphlets, and told her resources for women shelters.

One of the events, the one before he left, she actually broke his nose and busted his lip. He standing in the yard, the kids can see this, bleeding everywhere while handcuffed.

His service was over shortly after this last attack. He packed the three children into his old Jeep and headed home to his mom and dad for some support. That's when the next round of attacks began. His parents would make fun of him, question him, and sort of giggle at him about being a man that was "beat by a woman". Just typing this out makes me angry for him.

His ex signed away her parental rights in the mid 90s and we haven't seen her or heard from her.

OP: i'm sorry so many people remain ignorant on the subject. I believe there are more men than we know out there Who are being abused by their SO. Men who, while being beat by their SO, don't attack that person back. There are little to no resources for men who are in abusive situations.

LAMFF · 2015-02-08T05:44:02+00:00

That's a really shitty situation to be in and good for you taking the steps to protect yourself by leaving. You don't deserve to have a partner that gets physical with you and there is someone out there who is sane, non-violent, and loving who will treat you right.

Nomenimion · 2015-02-08T05:49:49+00:00

I recommend you cut these people out of your life.

ConfirmedCynic · 2015-02-08T06:34:58+00:00

Don't go back to her. She'll just see it as a sign she can get away with it and worse.

CoolHeadLuke · 2015-02-08T06:30:21+00:00

Walk away from crazy. People who are incapable of seeing truth that is self evident are kept out of my life. Do the same bro.

SCROTAL-SACK · 2015-02-08T05:52:05+00:00

Relay this same information back to these people and highlight their own double standards. Also, press charges.

favorite_racist · 2015-02-08T07:20:10+00:00

get out of this situation right now

break up with her and leave

the same thing happened to me and i stayed which started a complete downward spiral of my life to where it is noq

DarkSayed · 2015-02-08T11:29:05+00:00

That sad thing is that you were well within your rights to hit her back, but had you done so, you would have immediately become a murdererRapistTerrorist and she would become bambi.

There's no winning this. Noping the fuck out of this relationship is the only thing you can do.

CaptainGlobal · 2015-02-08T13:33:30+00:00

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kizzan · 2015-02-08T07:16:03+00:00

I am sorry to hear that happened to you and I hope that you don't break down and go back to her. Abusers don't change.

I would use this to help your parents see mens rights issues. Not now, but in 6 months when you talk to them about what hapoened. At that time whatever you say will have more credibility.

Our_media_lies · 2015-02-08T12:40:06+00:00

Jesus what if they next time she uses a knife or something. She could seriously injure you or kill you.

MisterDamage · 2015-02-08T11:52:13+00:00

You made the right choice when you left. You must not under any circumstances go back. The people blaming you were not there and they do not know what happened. The fact that your situation does not fit their worldview comfortably is their problem and not yours.

You should cut her out of your life. Block her phone number, put her email address on your spam list and do not under any circumstances communicate with her.

pqu · 2015-02-08T12:41:39+00:00

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QZip · 2015-02-08T12:43:05+00:00

Hopefully the people in your life just don't understand the seriousness of what happened to you. I mean, your dad was willing to pick you up in the middle of the night. He obviously cares about you. I know he said exactly what you didn't need to hear, but if it's just a misunderstanding don't hold it against him.

Here's what I would suggest to do. You have moved out effective immediately. If you have any stuff there, send someone else to go get it like your dad or a friend you can trust. This works best if you have a key in your possession and go when she's not there. Be sure to only take your stuff. The last thing you need is her going to the police saying you've stolen from her. Live somewhere else. With your parents maybe or a good friend. Someone who understands if possible.

She is gone from your life. This means no calls. No texts. No face to face conversations. Goodbye forever. If she initiates any of these, ignore her. It's over. She will probably try to worm her way back into your life, but you won't let her. She lost any right to contact you the moment she abused you. Some people don't deserve second chances. Abusers are among them.

Be ready to document if her craziness continues. This probably means being able to record from your phone (practice) or hell a cheap tape recorder. You want evidence if you ever need to press charges in the future or get a restraining order. This also means keeping any texts, voice mails, e-mails, etc she sends to you.

If you must say anything to her use the calmest clearest tone you can muster. In recordings it will ensure that everyone understands that she's the one being angry and escalating. You want to provide as clear of a contrast to her behavior as possible.

Do you exercise? You do now. Even if you don't end up needing it, it's good for your physical health and mental well being. You want to be able to out run her if you have to. Learn how to break free from grasps and grapples. Any self-defense course should teach this to you as one of the first things, but it's really not difficult to do in most scenarios against an unskilled opponent. Read up on it if you don't know already.

Find someone who believes you implicitly. Talk to them multiple times as you try to process your feelings and your brain comes to terms with what happened. Talking to people in the general public isn't going to help, but having a really good friend to talk to can help immensely in putting this behind you. There are counselors if you don't know anyone like that. Even if you're low on money, some of them do sliding pay scale and would love to help you for an amount you can afford. Find one that takes the situation with all the seriousness it deserves.

Be clear with your parents and whoever you're living with that you will not see her. She is not allowed near you. They might try to bring her to you intervention style. If this does happen, walk out.

Your life is not defined by this. You can rebuild. I've had to rebuild my own life from the ground up. It's terrible; it's the hardest thing in the world, but it can be done. You'll be able to trust again. You'll be able to love again.

Best wishes,

Someone who cares

razikain · 2015-02-08T12:53:39+00:00

That's why many men don't even report cases of domestic violence when they're the victims. The public humiliation simply isn't worth it.

bluescape · 2015-02-08T09:58:54+00:00

I'm sorry. Truly I am. Insofar as everyone's attitudes...TBH I think this is one of those things that won't really be "fixed" within this generation. The way we look back upon people that fought the civil rights movement and feel like everyone was super backwards on that, I think this is going to be something that's solved on a generational level. These attitudes are so pervasive and so widely accepted that it's going to be a long journey. I wish you well in the future.

OnlyMySofaPullsOut · 2015-02-08T08:50:38+00:00

I'm a 250lb former MMA fighter with 45+ wins under my belt against guys that have fought at some of the highest levels in the sport. That same shit has happened to me. And you're absolutely right. If you hit back, you go to jail. (If I hit back, I would have fucking killed her.) My size and stature still didn't stop my ex from going bat shit on me out of the blue for no reason, ALL THE TIME. Crazy is crazy. Fucking leave and refuse any and all contact, get a restraining order and get on with your life.

AtomicBLB · 2015-02-08T14:24:51+00:00

Your parents are the part that's troubling me. You should talk with them again and ask them why it's ok to assume you were at fault and why it's ok for you to be attacked for any reason whatsoever let alone a non-violent reason because it happened to be a female. You should probably appeal to your dads logic (or lack thereof) and ask him if he'd deserve for you to pop him in the jaw out of nowhere and go from there. Don't actually do it, before someone misreads it. You must present others with a situation that makes them think in a personal sense to get the idea across that unprovoked violence is wrong no matter what or who is doing it.

I can only imagine how much it hurt to get even as far as you did with friends and family, but don't ever ever EVER go back to abusive ex. She is your ex gf from now on when talking about the incident. She will try to reason with you and try to sweet talk you into taking her back. Please never subject yourself to that again. Abusers almost never stop their cycles even with therapy of some kind. The only exceptions are those who seek it willingly because they truly want to change. Any court ordered or "Fine I'll go to appease you" trips are just a waste of time. They are doing it for other reasons and don't really care about it. Take some you time and get to a better place mentally and emotionally before you even consider dating again. Just hang out with your friends and work on things you want to do.

notnotnotfred · 2015-02-08T13:19:05+00:00

I compiled this list a few years ago:

http://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/d8omt/list_of_resources_for_men_in_need_of_immediate/

Also, the mods maintain this list:

http://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/wiki/support

I pray you get the help you need.

Robbaba · 2015-02-08T14:24:59+00:00

Don't go back they never change.

fitch1 · 2015-02-08T14:37:03+00:00

My ex once complained about the bruises I left on her knuckles.

PerniciousOne · 2015-02-08T16:32:31+00:00

Violence is never acceptable.

You made the best decision to leave your girlfriend.

A real girlfriend does not abuse her partner.

Make sure that you are escorted when you get back all of your things, as she could say that you were abusing her.

ProphetChuck · 2015-02-08T12:02:52+00:00

I agree with both /u/Wikdcard345 and /u/shortnblonde don't you ever go back. I'm sorry to hear that mate.

Atheist101 · 2015-02-08T15:20:56+00:00

Don't you mean EX-girlfriend?

Johnnynukemall · 2015-02-08T17:23:28+00:00

Well don't go back, there's no telling what she might do if you do. Hell she might even tell the cops you hit her or raped her. She sounds nuts.

waggytalk · 2015-02-08T17:30:54+00:00

I have been in the same situation. https://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/2uepv5/exfeminists_of_the_mrm_what_was_the_straw_that/co7zb7p?context=3 here is my story

sadly even if you call the cops odds are you will be the one going to jail. My wife beat the shit out of me and i called the cops. IF not for me staying on the phone to 911 and her screaming at me and throwing stuff i would have ended up in jail.

Yes people are idiots. far to many think women don't abuse and if they do then you deserve it. I have found just not talking about it is best.

You can try a abuse center. but good luck. I called one and was told they won't and can;'t help me. Since im male. I did find one counceler who helped but i couldn't meet her at the center. Since i might "trigger" others.

I suggest you stay the fuck away from this girl. IT WILL ONLY GET WORSE. trust me..

Cerehectus · 2015-02-08T05:44:59+00:00

Well, press charges.

baskandpurr · 2015-02-08T13:26:48+00:00

It's almost a complete 180. This is where men go to be advised on how to deal with DV because nobody will help them. This is what feminists would tell you they did not so long ago for women although that was never actually the case.

Chad_Nine · 2015-02-08T21:34:47+00:00

You did right to leave. Don't look back. Post here to vent if your friends and family don't have empathy for your situation. They seem pretty blue pill and probably don't even realize they're being... less than helpful.

RD_Is_Best_Pony · 2015-02-08T15:28:16+00:00

Don't feel ashamed bro. This is textbook domestic abuse. You could easily lawyer up in this situation if you felt it necessary. Definitely do not put up with that, and do not go back.

Blutarg · 2015-02-08T18:58:46+00:00

Dump her. She sounds like a bad person.

50PercentLies · 2015-02-08T19:04:43+00:00

It's good that you left. Never look back. If you need somewhere to live I bet if one of us is near to you you can crash.

Champigne · 2015-02-08T19:29:23+00:00

"Lol Thats hilarious, she beat you like a pinata"

Seriously? Domestic abuse is funny if it happens to a man?

This is sad, because it would of been a completely different story if the genders or roles were reversed. First of all, the man would be in jail. But instead the victim is shamed as if they did something wrong or it's somehow comical. Can you imagine the response one would get if one were to ask a female victim of abuse what they did wrong "to cause this"? This is just fucking backwards.

Lothrazar · 2015-02-08T19:48:24+00:00

PUt it back in their faces. Make them flip genders to see how stupid it is

Ask them if they support domestic abuse.

Ask them if we should close womens shelters because the beaten women must have caused it, they must have pushed too hard.

satanismybacon · 2015-02-08T16:38:00+00:00

Stay away from her. As for the people who downplay it or ask what you did to deserve it, do a gender reversal for them, would it be ok to hit her if she deserved it?

crazyplaces · 2015-02-08T19:51:31+00:00

trim away the friends who aren't supportive. Thank and grow closer to the ones that will. Move forward.

Don't worry about convincing them they're wrong. Don't worry about the excuses she makes. Move forward.

You made the right call by leaving. Plenty of us have been burned by retaliating or from the million of other bad situations that can come up from being in that kind of relationship day to day.

Glad you left. Now just work on moving forward.

Popeychops · 2015-02-08T13:47:05+00:00

You should hold your head high. You did the right thing by not staying in a place where you would be subject to violence. She clearly needs help with her anger. Are you going to press charges?

Kmart1008 · 2015-02-08T15:05:13+00:00

I am so sorry this happened to you. You need to leave this relationship and never looked back. She is abusive- plain and simple. This is a textbook example of what abusive relationships look like. Abuse tends to be cyclical, so I can pretty much guarantee it will happen again. She'll attack, then she'll apologize and beg for forgiveness. You take her back, and everything seems to be great for a while. Then she lashes out again. Wash, rinse, repeat. And unfortunately, because you are male you will get no help and no sympathy. I think it's absolutely disgusting how male victims are treated. It is one of the main reasons I sympathize with the men's rights movement. And I am a woman, for what it's worth. I wish true equality existed, but it does not. Especially not when it comes to situations like this one.

hork23 · 2015-02-08T15:48:31+00:00

Wear a camera or audio recorder, protect yourself. Also, you wouldn't put up with this shit from a man, don't put up with it from one that supposedly enjoys your company and likes you. This is abuse, confront her or dump her, she won't change if you don't do anything.

EmilyArwen · 2015-02-08T17:12:52+00:00

She shouldn't be your GF she should be your EX GF!!!!

measureofallthings · 2015-02-08T17:50:38+00:00

Good for you for getting out of there. Im so sorry you endured that. No one has the right to put hands on anybody.

duganaok · 2015-02-08T18:28:33+00:00

Just don't talk to her anymore dude. Sorry about your friends and family. Maybe as time passes things will get better.

likeclearglass · 2015-02-08T19:05:47+00:00

People suck, the cultural programming is real, but you will always know what is best for you. Be strong, brother.

papajawn42 · 2015-02-08T19:25:51+00:00

I just wanted to say: you did the right thing, and I'm happy that you had the courage to get out of an abusive situation. And make no mistake- that it abuse. Use that word when you describe the situation, because that's exactly what it was. Don't look back, and keep your head up, man. Life goes on, and it gets better.

totalyawsm · 2015-02-08T20:25:26+00:00

What did you do to cause this

I just realized how "misogynistic" this is. Women have so little agency in this world, they are akin to children. They can't even beat up people with intention, because they're too dumb and infantile to do things without being influenced by others. Of course women are strong, they're adults, and they can certainly beat people up.

Apart from my ranting, I wish you safety. It's a shame that you must be revictimized like this. I also commend your bravery in leaving the relationship, knowing others will react like this. I pray that she will not further harm you, and that we as a community look to practical means of not just ending domestic violence against men, but also the re-victimization, and the shaming that revolves around it.

Qapiojg · 2015-02-08T20:57:09+00:00

You need to cut all contact with her as soon as you can. After that don't even let her in your home if she comes knocking.

My best friend left his abusive ex after she beat him unconscious in a mall with her purse. A couple weeks after, she came back to talk and he let her in. She proceeded to pull out a gun and rape him at gunpoint. He's never been the same, and after 3 times of trying to report it to the police they told him that if he ever came back they would toss him in a cell for harassment.

lastlaugh50 · 2015-02-08T21:05:49+00:00

A woman who is violent is one who cannot be trusted. She could call the cops to "get back at you" and lie and say that you hit her or raped her. Then you're fucked. Get the fuck out now before she destroys you.

GTCtry_another · 2015-02-08T22:15:03+00:00

"Usually women are only violent when the man causes it."

True. Usually what they do to cause it is called "breathing".

DavidByron2 · 2015-02-08T07:21:22+00:00

[permanently deleted]

jamminnummeruno · 2015-02-08T08:24:27+00:00

Been there.

Saskatoonj · 2015-02-08T20:21:49+00:00

I have been caught in same situation and best advice is to get out of the relationship. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me Twice...... My only regret is I didn't get out earlier.

dan7899 · 2015-02-08T12:52:37+00:00

Sounds like borderline personality disorder

Breuer1 · 2015-02-08T14:12:51+00:00

So sorry this has happened man.

Brainiac_Outcast · 2015-02-08T18:15:00+00:00

The relationship was detracting from your life overall, so you left. Seems pretty cut and dry. Better luck next time.

Pilot9 · 2015-02-08T20:02:27+00:00

I think all the comments below fall into two main categories because of the subreddit:

A) General support.

B) Hate / Circlejerk

You know you made the right decision, and hopefully by posting what you did on the Internet, other people will have the courage to follow in your footsteps without resorting to option B.

gsettle · 2015-02-08T21:25:34+00:00

It's your call but leaving is definitely a viable option.

GreasedLightning · 2015-02-09T00:26:37+00:00

It's a complete joke isn't it? When these issues are approached by everyone on the outside it's like you're a 9 foot goliath who could pummel her into a pile of shit the instant you lose your temper. Meanwhile, she's just some little innocent creature who'd never ever do any harm to anyone ever. She just wants love.

gazork_chumble_spuzz · 2015-02-09T01:02:37+00:00

DO NOT go back to her, no matter how many times she says sorry or what sort of excuses she offers or how much she cries or how hot she is/how good the sex was. NO. You deserve better.

Society has been so focused on ending prejudice and sexism and violence against women that we seem to have forgotten that women are not only victims, we are also sometimes aggressors, and that it's just as disgusting to blame a man for the actions of his abuser. You need to have a serious discussion with your friends and family about their reaction - it is NOT okay to act like it's your fault that she's a violent person. And they aren't going to learn that through osmosis...you may have to be the one to speak up and call them on their sexism, as much as that sucks.

Sorry you had to deal with their blame and mockery on top of getting punched around. That's just wrong. None of it was your fault. Seriously though, DO NOT go back to her!

atheist4thecause · 2015-02-08T12:37:14+00:00

I'm glad you got out of the abusive relationship. As for what some of your family said, hopefully it was more of a poor word choice where they were really trying to ask what happened to create the abusive situation (two sides to every story kind of thing). As for what your friends said, that's just flat out ridiculous.

If you have text messages where she claimed she pushed you then it sounds like there is some evidence of the situation. You could consider going to the police about it if you want to go that route, and they could investigate it. If you take pictures of injuries that can help.

Overall, IMO keeping an eye on moving forward is important. Maybe trying to explain just how bad the abuse was and being adamant that this is a very serious issue will help you maintain a good relationship with your family. There are other fish in the sea, so you don't have to settle for a woman that is willing to abuse their boyfriend.

horsepie · 2015-02-08T13:19:52+00:00

I think you should confront your parents about what they said.

And then confront people you think of as good friends about how their perception is skewed.

If they don't come round, then sever the relationship because they lack the ability to see things from another point of view.

Your parents, if they hold love for you will understand eventually.

It's no use taking other poster's advice and just cutting people out - to change society a little you have to tell them why you've cut them out.

LandShark805 · 2015-02-08T18:49:07+00:00

Today it's fists, tomorrow it's kitchen appliances and false allegations, OP is best to run for the hills. She will be back, and she will be escalating.

remembz · 2015-02-08T17:09:43+00:00

Since the law is so deeply flawed that calling the police may get yourself locked up, record everything and go get a lawyer.

MRSPArchiver · 2015-02-08T05:39:31+00:00

Post text automatically copied here. (Why?) (Report a problem.)

RottMaster · 2015-02-08T17:00:49+00:00

My friend got attacked by his girlfriend and nothing like this happened, everyone believed him and knew that bitch was crazy

Gryphoneer · 2015-02-08T19:39:07+00:00

Listen to what all others said. Draw a firm line in your life and put her out of it for good. Most importantly do not accept apologies. Treat them as attacks as well. Because that is actually how abusers manipulate you by making nice. Make a personal rule for yourself now. The first time someone touches you that way is the last time.

thick_knees · 2015-02-08T20:54:34+00:00

Shes just your gf, not your wife. Leave her

warspite88 · 2015-02-09T05:18:05+00:00

welcome to the misandry of america, of western ...no the entire world!

padge61 · 2015-02-09T06:18:47+00:00

Salvage your relationship with your mother and father. I wouldn't try to give them the whole red pill regimen, but just ask a few precisely-aimed questions to highlight the point and make them come up with the truth on his own.

"What makes you so sure I did something to deserve it?" Then don't follow up any responses -- just let them hang.

As for your friend, either introduce him to the red pill or re-evaluate your friendship with him. I'm not saying cut him out, just place him appropriately in your life.

As for your ex, WALL OF ICE.

When I say "red pill", I just mean unplugging from the lie machine.

shinarit · 2015-02-09T10:39:35+00:00

Usually women are only violent when the man causes it.

Well, that IS true, true for men as well. Nobody is violent without some (sane) reason, except insane people. That doesn't make it right.

rbrockway · 2015-02-09T10:53:54+00:00

Stay away from her. She will do it again. She is the one with the problem.

It is hard when your family act that way towards you. All I can suggest is to try to explain to them that you are just as entitled to protect from violence as a woman and that suggesting you caused it is victim blaming.

DoItLive247 · 2015-02-09T14:44:34+00:00

Get a restraining order!

James_Duggan · 2015-02-09T17:29:16+00:00

Get a bigger bed!

HumblePig · 2015-02-09T19:37:34+00:00

Sorry that your first line of support, your dad who was a practical and likely emotional necessity, couldn't understand.

I recommend first working on getting your independent living conditions in order, things like housing and budgeting and possibly separating bank accounts and such. Taking the time to focus on those practical matters of separation will put you in a better place to think about the emotional aspect, including whether to go back, or what closure you need if any, or how you choose to process it. I don't recommend going back, obviously. But you'll be in a better place to work through any closure or emotional/mental issues once your day to day life is completely independent. The comfort of familiarity or avoiding unpleasant practical tasks like banking, budgeting, physically getting your belongings, etc., can lead you to default towards unwarranted forgiveness or excusing certain behaviors as more emotionally tolerable than the menial tasks of a break up. One mistakes the stress of life style changes as emotional duress from the relationship--which may and likely does exist! But vest to avoid confounding them.

therealmasculistman · 2015-02-09T20:00:35+00:00

If this is the kind of reaction you get then cut these people out of your life or when someone wrongs them side with the other party and tell them how wrong they are. This will get under their skin just like they fucked with you.

fahrenheitrkg · 2015-07-06T11:10:04+00:00

I've been there. It took a police officer [F] telling me that, if I didn't move out, one of the next times they came back, it would be a murder scene with me as the victim.

makkawaffel · 2015-02-08T15:27:12+00:00

I mean in a way, their responses kind of trivialize women, making it seem when they abuse someone that it isn't significant. Makes no sense. Sorry for the bullshit OP, hope it pans out.

2015-02-08T18:39:22+00:00

I say this as a former prosecutor who did a lot of domestic violence. If she hits you, call the police. No one should suffer physical violence in a relationship. You might walk to talk to a counselor or seek other help

xVoluntasx · 2015-02-08T20:06:01+00:00

You'll find someone better. Don't reward her by forgiving her. Stay far away

StAlfonzo · 2015-02-08T17:22:05+00:00

I completely understand where you're coming from but you have to stop telling people if you don't like their reactions. I understand where your dad is coming from. The others need to be a bit more understanding. I'd say ignore her for life unless you want to be at the receiving end of more punches.

cy6 · 2015-02-08T19:41:22+00:00

Did she actually hurt you? Even if she is hitting you hard, did it really hurt? There is a difference between beating someone and throwing girly punches.

ZombieOmNom · 2015-02-08T07:03:45+00:00

I'm sorry this has happened to you OP. Welcome to the very dangerous worldview where women can do no wrong.

Unlike everyone else in this thread, I would advise you to talk it out with your girlfriend. Everyone else is going to jump on the bandwagon and tell you to dump her ass and press charges, but the reality is that she is a victim of the "women do no wrong" mentality as well as you, because while you were at the receiving end of the beating, she was doing it because social norms told her that what she was doing was okay. You have an awesome opportunity to wake her up to reality.

While it was definitely her fault for beating you, it's not her fault that she's been brought up to believe it's okay. Give her a chance to realise her wrongdoing and to make it up to you. I have more confidence in the idea of people communicating and educating eachother rather than distancing and putting social change in the hands of law enforcement, because look where that usually gets us.

Obviously it's up to you to decide whether it's worth it, but at least give it some thought.

mc707 · 2015-02-08T15:32:41+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	GF has started getting violent on me. I left her today after she beat me. Peoples reactions have been insane
Author	hurtboyriendh
Upvotes	1082
Comments	255
Date	February 8, 2015 5:38 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/2v62b4/gf_has_started_getting_violent_on_me_i_left_her/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/gf-has-started-getting-violent-on-me-i-left-her.988579 https://theredarchive.com/post/988579

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