Does the average guy have low standards?

JonMyMon · 2024-10-20T18:40:33+00:00

People hate when I make this point, but if you’re an intelligent, logical person, you’re going to have a much harder time dating. This is because you will have a harder time connecting with most people. Sometimes I see someone and I’m like, “how did this dumb fuck find someone”, and the answer is, because their partner is just as dumb as them.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2024-10-20T15:11:56+00:00

Dudes like sex. Sometimes dudes get really horny. Really horny dudes want to get laid. A woman that is receptive to the idea of having sex with really horny dude is going to be sought after because horny dude has tunnel vision cause he really wants sex.

This isn’t complicated

Happy_Difference_734 · 2024-10-20T17:38:45+00:00

Your standards for a romantic partner are the standards for a half-decent person. (Save the attraction, that's only for romance)

The average man seems to expect literally nothing from women other than their existence.

rando755 · 2024-10-20T18:35:11+00:00

I have been in a relationship with a psychotic woman. The main thing that kept me interested in her was her kindness and compassion. Her kindness and compassion influenced me to show more kindness and compassion toward her, including toward her psychotic mental illness.

Impossible-Pin2457 · 2024-10-20T17:51:52+00:00

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OnThatSigmaGrindset · 2024-10-20T15:16:44+00:00

your average guy doesn't have the luxury to have standards because the average woman goes for the above-average man.

TonytheNetworker · 2024-10-20T17:39:12+00:00

I mean a woman who finds me attractive and that I would like to hook up with are half the battle. Even an active Onlyfans or opposite political view aren’t dealbreakers enough unless other things came up.

Affectionate-Still15 · 2024-10-20T18:28:16+00:00

Having standards is determined by your Sexual Market Value and your level of delusion. Average men generally aren’t delusional and have low SMV. Therefore they can’t really have standards if they want to have a partner

Plazmatron44 · 2024-10-20T19:00:43+00:00

Yes, absolutely, the fact that fat boring women with no hobbies or opinions of their own are always receiving attention from men irl and online is proof that far too many men have low standards.

Financial_Leave4411 · 2024-10-20T16:30:08+00:00

Men’s standards for sex is too low given the risks and men’s standards for commitment are to high it sabotages their efforts.

Ok-Dust-4156 · 2024-10-20T17:05:26+00:00

Average guy have average standards and those standards aren't this dumb "anybody with pretty face who show any interest towards me" because it's literally what having no standards is. Exact standards depends from a guy, there's no some sort of default that fit everybody.

Good_Result2787 · 2024-10-20T14:59:52+00:00

I think (or at least hope) that the average man has at least average standards. What precisely that means can differ from one person to another. Your list strikes me as a dude personally as "extremely basic" standards, to put it mildly. There are a lot of guys here who are convinced that average men cannot afford standards. I disagree with this and think what they are describing, whether they will admit it or not, are below-average dudes.

This does not in any way mean that I think you will be fine and dating and relationships will be easy if you are average. Or even above. Navigating all of this and finding compatible partners where you both like and are attracted to each other can be rough. It can take a lot of time and involve much failure. Even if you are average and even if you feel you're doing everything properly to make yourself the best version of yourself.

catdog8020 · 2024-10-20T19:04:10+00:00

An average guy (at least in America) has no choice but to lower his standards unless he is ok with 1) being alone and celibate for months, years or decades 2) has enough money and uses escorts or geo-maxes - passport bro, etc. 3) is an extroverted, charismatic and confident and has a lot of social support networks full of available woman (at work, friend groups, etc) 4) is wealthy and or has a time machine to go back to 1970s America Its healthier for men to be in a relationship with woman than not being in one. Men need woman for our mental and physical health. Unfortunately, woman don’t need men as much and they can survive alone or with cats wayyyyyy longer than we can. But if it’s your superpower to be able to wait for Barbie then go for it.

VWGUYWV · 2024-10-20T19:59:21+00:00

I’ve given up mostly because any woman on my level intellectually, psychologically, and financially would want a better guy than me, unless she is butt ugly

So woman with her shit together that is ugly or knows she can do better or a cute girl that is a train wreck

I dated several women roughly like me but they set the relationship up to where they were way more important and they subtly let me know they could find someone else easily

Jello_Vivid · 2024-10-20T20:09:39+00:00

I think the average guy has low standards for getting sex from a woman however for relationships I think the standards tend to be higher as it's an investment of time and resources as a short term fling is about the sex only.

Unhappy_Offer_1822 · 2024-10-20T20:50:31+00:00

yes

its probably better to take a more targeted approach and date someone you actually like are attracted to and can communicate with

otherwise its more likely to end in a divorce

LordShadows · 2024-10-20T21:28:18+00:00

From my experience, when it comes to choices of partners, women are idealists while men are cynics.

For women, it's about having the best partner and relationship they could have.

For men, it's about having anything that is better than nothing.

For women in relationships, it's about the relationship fitting their expectations.

For men in relationships, it's about the relationship being more good than bad.

So, yes, in a way, men have lower standards.

They don't expect the best but good enough.

It's not about being fully satisfied for them. It's about having more than nothing.

Of course, it is just a tendency and is highly dependent on the success of each.

But this is the tendency I'm observing.

The tendency is also a tendency that can be observed in homosexual relationships.

The Lesbian dating market is hell, and Lesbian marriages have the highest number of divorces.

The gay dating market is a lot easier, and gay marriages have the same rate of divorce or less than heterosexual marriages.

Randomwoowoo · 2024-10-21T01:10:55+00:00

I bring this up anytime standards are mentioned, but I know my standards have only increased with age, not decreased.

I would’ve hooked up or dated a lot of people in my 20s, but after learning about men and women inside of relationships, my standards just continued to increase.

Recognizing toxic behaviors, realizing it was better to be single and alone for months, if not longer, rather than settle.

I feel bad for the men and women who are so anxious to get into a relationship, or have sex, that they place their standards on the floor.

I chased and begged to stay with the first woman I dated, even though she wasn’t right for me. But I was 21, had never kissed or had sex with anyone before her, and I was so scared of never having anyone again (which I know now is ridiculous), that I stayed even when it was clear we weren’t a good match.

She wasn’t even a bad person. We’re still friends, actually. We just weren’t a good couple. But I kept lying to myself about being happy, when really I was just scared of being alone.

After a truly toxic relationship years later, I realized I’d much rather be alone than ever settle. Being alone is so, so much better than being in a bad (or worse, toxic) relationship.

Substantial_Video560 · 2024-10-21T08:34:02+00:00

Every guy should have standards and self respect regardless of looks/lack-off.

Immediate-Fox5446 · 2024-10-20T18:13:05+00:00

Yes.

And the average woman thinks she is on par with Nefertiti beauty-wise.

Shoddy_Count8248 · 2024-10-20T18:00:27+00:00

People have called me picky like I'm some peasant demanding a princess but I think I'm a good looking respectful guy who has a lot to offer so I don't feel entitled by wanting to meet someone who has a lot to offer as well.

(Sounds smart and great to me. I 100% agree)

I also can't shake the idea that there could be someone I'm better suited to just around the corner because frankly it's possible, and I want to commit to someone wholeheartedly without having an eye out for anyone better

(Well, this is what a lot of PPD accuses women of doing - that they have too many options so they are looking for the next. I’ll be interested in the reaction here but I will say that this all depends on yoh and your goals - if you are dead set on kids, you have a certain time limit - yes even as a man.

My bro didn’t have his kid until he was 47. He had a heart attack at 55. He’s going into early retirement now to spend a lot of time with his kids. He was a runner his whole life and always pretty skinny.

But if you don’t care about kids that much and are pretty happy with your single life and are good with that not changing unless someone really special comes along, so be it. It’s your life to live.

This is BTW the same I’d say to a woman in your situation too.)

LostWanderer88 · 2024-10-20T18:31:23+00:00

It sounds like the male - female ratio in society should be 40/60 for things to be more or less balanced

MongoBobalossus · 2024-10-20T15:10:24+00:00

Depends, right? I’ve got friends that will sleep with anything that moves, and others who are more picky.

rustlerhuskyjeans · 2024-10-20T15:22:47+00:00

You’re never going to expire as an option to women as long as you have a career.

I’m just not going to be celibate. If you’re comfortable being picky and not having a girlfriend or dates whenever you want then do that. I’m going to get girls and not be too picky and open minded about women. See who I will be attracted to and not predefine it.

Not saying I’m right, but I just like having a girl over more than not having one. Being at my place alone for weeks on end and just hanging out with friends a few days a week gets boring and lonely.

Savings-Bee-4993 · 2024-10-20T15:56:27+00:00

Yes. And the average woman has higher standards.

This doesn’t mean that these standards are reasonable or justified though.

Cunning_Linguists_ · 2024-10-20T20:23:00+00:00

Yes, most men are married/dating large sea mammals

EmergencyConflict610 · 2024-10-21T04:41:54+00:00

The average guy is awesome. Its not that men have "low standards" it that the average man has appropriate standards that the vast majority of women can meet. Essentially, men are more romantically accepting of others than women.

LillthOfBabylon · 2024-10-20T14:49:02+00:00

Idk if its the average guy, but there are more men with low standards than there are women. Now, men are forced to lower their standards for Hookups because women aren't into hookups like that. A lot of guys will SAY they have no type, but when you see the pattern in who they go for, there’s obviously a type.

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Snoo21869 · 2024-10-20T17:00:12+00:00

Yes he does

FebruaryEightyNine · 2024-10-20T21:32:54+00:00

People like OP is the reason why I tend to read peoples post history before engaging with their nonsense. To say OP is the definition of the dunning kruger effect would be an understatement.

Arch_Null · 2024-10-21T00:44:51+00:00

driggsky · 2024-10-21T01:10:00+00:00

Women simply expect more from their partners and have emotional support standards that many men and many women can not fill

I asked chatgpt to explain why lesbian divorce rates were higher than gay divorce rates and it tried not to shit on women too hard but the overall theme is that women’s expectations from a partner are simply more antagonistic to having committed long term relationships

I dont blame women but it’s definitely a social problem if people demand too much from their partners in general.

In some male dating advice videos, they emphasize that you don’t need to be best friends with your wife and you dont need to expect much. Its obviously amazing to have a supportive loving wife who checks off many boxes but men simply have less boxes and less expectations from partners and probably even friendships. Women’s dating advice leans toward finding someone who is emotionally enticing and all the jazz

Maybe its how we’re socialized and likely biological but yeah men just expect less (usually).

StupidSexySisyphus · 2024-10-21T01:49:07+00:00

Is she cool, do I enjoy her company, do we get along well, is she nice to me, is she intelligent/not a complete moron, do we communicate well, and are we mutually attracted and interested in one another?

If those are considered low standards, people are looking for shit that I'll never understand or want to understand.

Given my standards, dating is still not the easiest.

Trancetastic16 · 2024-10-21T01:57:07+00:00

Yes.

Average people are average in most ways and usually pick the first or second best option of who they know amongst their family/friend/co-worker/acquaintance group.

Statistically and anecdotally this checks out for me, and the amount of couples who baby-trap and remain in a relationship that turned mediocre at some point but are more afraid of being alone appears quite common, perhaps even the norm.

If you’re higher-than-average intelligence, EQ or in other areas then it’s also just easy to struggle with dating due to being less compatible with most people due to them being “average/mediocre”.

2024-10-21T10:25:31+00:00

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SecondEldenLord · 2024-10-21T10:31:47+00:00

Most of the average men I know don't even have those basic standards, they just want someone with a pulse and that's it.

PainZoneDweller · 2024-10-21T11:30:31+00:00

Yo those standard are very high da fuck

If a girl ever talked to me that would be enough

r2k398 · 2024-10-21T13:12:51+00:00

For sex? Standards are probably pretty low.

For marriage? Probably minimum standards but not low.

Freevoulous · 2024-10-21T20:33:39+00:00

THe problem is not just men having low standards. THe problem is, that the average man pursues women for no logical reason.

Male libido has been falling since the 90s. Relationship satisfaction as well. Men chase after women, despite the fact that they are barely attracted to said women, and don't enjoy the relationship at all, or very little. Its not that men want women, its just cultural inertia that a man is "supposed" to have a GF/Wife, even if there is zero reason to have one.

IMHO, most men pursue women with too much zeal, simping and effort, because most men have no other passions, goals and plans for their future, and thus are simply bored. They just sort of ... exist, and go after girls half-heartedly because everybody expects them to.

WhyDidntITextBack · 2024-10-24T19:42:24+00:00

I feel like people never truly understand this even though the answer is so obvious.

men are less picky than women because they have the privilege OF being less picky

Men can nut and just go about their business like nothing happened. Women on the other hand? Well you risk becoming pregnant for nine months and then your life just to get it out. After that you’re obviously stuck with a kid lol so you better pick good and hope he stays. And all that for no guarantee of having an orgasm.

So of course women have “higher standards” or are “picky”, they have to be. They don’t get the privilege that men have of being able to fuck anyone without (generally speaking) consequences

HighestTierMaslow · 2024-10-20T17:28:04+00:00

No they have way more standards than that, they just aren't self aware and/or wait until they come up during dating and relationships. An example: every single one of my exes (and i dated alot in my 20s with no Chads) expected me to effortlessly integrate myself into their social circle of friends and appease them (even ones where their friends were rude to me/didn't like me for no reason) and hang out with their friends while they didn't reciprocate for me. Of course none listed this as a standard 🙄

cardboard_pyramid · 2024-10-20T19:57:21+00:00

The average man hopes he finds a woman who likes him. The average woman hopes she finds a man she likes.

The biggest factor for the average man is that the woman is interested in him. For women, there’s a checklist of qualities the man must have regarding looks, height, salary, etc. If he fails a single one of those, his very existence is an insult to her.

CryptoThroway8205 · 2024-10-20T18:27:43+00:00

For sex, standards are low, especially for men on juice. For relationships, they tend to be much higher but many men are ok with a girl who's poorer provided the relationship is more traditional. So maybe more progressive men have higher standards when it comes to the woman's education and income but I still wouldn't say it's high (like a billionaire man will be ok marrying a millionaire woman). I think relationship standards for looks are high unless the man has high testosterone. Age is another factor since male T levels go down as they age, but hair loss and weight go up.

TJshimensoka · 2024-10-20T15:53:26+00:00

I have such a high standards for lifelong, monogamous relationship that it's unlikely I'd find anyone that would fit all criteria I've seemed necessary. For low commitment goods a reasonably attractive women will do, so long as they aren't batshit insane.

But an average dude doesn't get to have similar standards as I do; for them such standards would be correctly described as delusional. But that said I think your standards are reasonable since. -

Criteria 1 there is enough of women that you seem attractive enough and as long you go for close to looksmatch criteria 3 should also be fulfilled. For 2 you just have to vet them thoroughly and most people are docile so you just have to look the hidden landmines. Honestly thinking about how some criteria limit your pool of acceptable partners isn't worth thinking too much about as long you aren't delusional in your standards.

Glass-Violinist-8352 · 2024-10-20T18:22:47+00:00

I would say yes at least lower than the average girl lol

Obvious_Smoke3633 · 2024-10-20T21:08:12+00:00

It's rare to see a man care about anything but #1. #2 and #3 men seem to feel are negotiable. The men who like me the most and chase after me the most are the ones I've made very clear that I am not interested in them under circumstances now nor ever will be. It doesn't stop them.

Reasonable-Cookie783 · 2024-10-20T23:16:36+00:00

You write too much and I disagree what you claim are average guy standards. Also there is no such thing as a composite average guy. Many average guys would find some women that are basically average as beautiful in there eyes I've never selected a girl to date because she was fuckable enough. If I'm going to spend money on you I'm definitely going to have to find her attractive in a legitimate sense.

Title	Does the average guy have low standards?
Author	AnomicAge
Upvotes	38
Comments	193
Date	October 20, 2024 2:25 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1g7zvki/does_the_average_guy_have_low_standards/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/does-the-average-guy-have-low-standards.1533062 https://theredarchive.com/post/1533062

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