Does virgin-shaming exist?

HammieFondler · 2025-10-07T03:20:01+00:00

I can confirm my first time hooking up with a girl she got very weird about it when she found out it was my first time. She didn't explicitly shame me for it but I definitely felt ashamed afterwards

OMWSpuds · 2025-10-07T05:54:21+00:00

I"ll believe you've never seen virgin-shaming or snarky comments about how a man lacks or has zero experience with women as long as it's still your first hour on the internet or honestly planet earth.

MonkeyHairless · 2025-10-07T08:33:48+00:00

Yes, especially since I'm in my mid 20's.

And it doesn't just happen with women I'm going out with or are on the "will they" phase. Not later than last week-end, it happened at a party with a woman that was just hanging out with us ; we played some games, one question was about sex, I had to answer, I said "well, not the guy the game should have asked", she asked why, I explained, not only did she not beleived it at first but then showed discomfort, disgust and asked a bunch of stupid questions while making unwanted comments.

And the funny part is, I've faced more "virgin shaming" from women than from men and have had more empathy and support from men than women (not only on this particular subject but also in general).

One of my good chances is that I'm not the only late virgin in my friend group, so I have people to relate to and that can relate to me.

Also, you answer your own question :

i'd assume the cause for this is something that makes us incompatible (religious, or is just straight up unattractive)

Shaming is discrimination, discrimination comes from made up negative assumptions ... and that's exactly what you did, when you think about a virgin adult man, you think something must be wrong with him which makes him incompatible with you ... that negative assumption already is shaming.

92friendlessvirgin · 2025-10-07T11:36:15+00:00

I’m 33 and went on dates for the first time in my life this year, I present as normal enough so all the women I went on dates asked me questions about former exes/relationships like it went without saying I’ve had them before. I lied to all of them except for one who was shocked and then started pressing me about what happened in my life to be 32 and never had a gf, she ghosted me after the date. Even the one woman who asked me when my last relationship was and I said “5 years ago” as a white lie seemed pretty clearly turned off by it. I will also mention all the women I went on dates on were late 20s-early 30s and looking for a LTR. Its very clearly an extreme uphill battle at this point and I don’t want to continue lying to women about my history either, basing a relationship on lies does not feel good.

If I’m being very honest, the ideal would be to find a woman in the same life stage/close to age as me who also has no relationship experience because I feel like it would be easiest to connect over that but that’s like finding a specific speck of sand in the desert, pretty much impossible.

gtbreddit1 · 2025-10-07T03:13:50+00:00

Your title refers to "virgin-shaming" but then the content of your post is about a woman choosing not to date a man after finding out he's a virgin. These are two separate things.

Virgin shaming absolutely exists, and men being shamed for being unable to have sex is probably the #1 way men are shamed, especially by women/feminists. But what you describe is not shaming.

Edit: I missed the line about the insult. Insulting them would be shaming, but I doubt that occurs much in the specific context you describe. Most virgin shaming is collective or online, where women know they're not at risk of violent retaliation.

aslfingerspell · 2025-10-07T13:12:03+00:00

Calling people "incel" can be a form of it.

The implication is often that someone isn't just a virgin, but a virgin because they're a bad person.

Cultural-Ad-8486 · 2025-10-07T06:05:28+00:00

Of course it exists.

Just like shaming small penises, shaming sexually unsuccessful men, and "incels" (who are usually not).

These are all attempts to shame men as being unsexy and therefore generally immature in life.

And yes, sometimes men do this to other men, too, but there's a difference. It's a gendered insult, and who uses it matters.

Therefore, when men do it to men, the effect is different, just as if a woman calls a woman a "slut," the effect is also different.

At the same time, when a man insults a woman or a woman calls a man names, the effect is usually stronger, because you're receiving insults from the gender you're attracted to, meaning whose opinions matter more to you.

KhadgarIsaDreadlord · 2025-10-07T08:27:20+00:00

Look at how many people use incel as an insult. Yep it absolutely exists.

I find it very funny, as if the ability to have sex was a valueable measure of character. Even Cletus, the 70 IQ redneck fucks his toothless 300 pound wife in the ass every weekend in his trailer. It's literally not an accomplishment if your standards are low enough.

And even funnier that regardless of how much women want to abolish slutshaming, or extend it to fuckboys, it will never happen becouse most men and women ultimately see a man with the ability to have sex with womem whever as a positive, someone who is desirable therefore good. They perpetuate the idea that the measure of a man's success is shown by his ability to fuck women.

My only problem with this, despite that it's obviously a carnal and false idea, is that it can really fuck with some young men and even push them into situations they shouldn't be in.

babazuki · 2025-10-07T13:15:01+00:00

You can search posts on this very sub. Women claim something must be wrong with a man if he is a virgin by a certain age. They say he must hate women and be resentful. Open your eyes

James_M_Croft · 2025-10-07T13:39:05+00:00

It exists.

Every guy had to deal with this when they were virgins.

Why would you think it doesn't exist?

WebNew9978 · 2025-10-07T06:12:00+00:00

Oh fuck yeah virgin shaming exists and it is everywhere. It’s in our media, online, on here, etc. It can/does happen at work, at bars, at events, it can happen anywhere. I’ve had my experiences being shamed as a virgin. They just never directly make fun of my virginity. They indirectly do so. Like “you’ve have never touched a woman, you get no bitches, you're a loser, you're pathetic, you're a joke.”

weenieandthebutt · 2025-10-07T06:49:34+00:00

Yeah much more prevalent than slut-shaming and socially accepted too. You lot are the biggest fucking offenders and then pretend it doesn't exist.

Unable_Connection490 · 2025-10-07T21:58:58+00:00

Yes. I’m an asexual spectrum man and I’ve been shamed about it by both men and women. I don’t out myself as ace irl, but I say “I’m waiting till marriage” and people shame me for it.

I don’t look down on people who do engage in sex or have very active sex lives. As far as I’m concerned, what people do with their bodies is theirs alone. I’m against purity culture too.

But sometimes, it feels the pendulum has swung so far the other way, virginity shaming becomes a thing.

We’ve lost sight of what’s really important: it’s not about sex or no sex. It’s about the right to do what you want with your body without societal judgement and/or conditioning.

MarioWilson122 · 2025-10-07T04:01:34+00:00

Of course that is the number 1 diss nowadays towards men whether they can or cant get sex. So it is definitely used a lot especially here in the states. Men can definitely lose dates or hookups coming clean on something like that.

Maybe you live overseas where it isn't as common but it definitely is over here. Now the real question is does virgin shaming exist on the women's side?

The answer to that is likely no for the most part especially as a diss. Now people will ask why she still is over a long period of time of nothing happening.

Most likely family wondering if she will create a new family. Usually people aren't gonna use it to shame her in any real way like with men.

growframe · 2025-10-07T08:52:13+00:00

Personally i'm not against dating a virgin per se. But my immediate assumption is that he'll look down on me for my experience. And usually i'd assume the cause for this is something that makes us incompatible (religious, or is just straight up unattractive). But none of this is to say that being a virgin is inherently bad, just the possibilities surrounding it.

This jusr seems like a really roundabout way of saying you wouldn't date a virgin.

killacamron93 · 2025-10-07T04:19:29+00:00

My best friend is still a virgin in his 30’s and I don’t even think he even discovered the red pill (I literally pray he doesn’t). Virgin shaming still exists And even speaking for myself as someone who’ve admittedly never been in a serious relationship in my 30’s women always look down on inexperience.

Next_Measurement_824 · 2025-10-07T03:43:22+00:00

Yes it does, now more than ever. In the past however when woman didn't have such high standards, it probably never existed before people saw the 40 year old virgin movie. Its thanks to the jews that we have to put up with this level of entitlement.

Past-Shoulder-631 · 2025-10-07T10:01:34+00:00

Yes of course

Your_Mommy_Loves_Me · 2025-10-07T07:40:42+00:00

There are plenty of women who would ghost you if you haven't gotten any pussy in the last two months.

CHIN000K · 2025-10-07T03:08:26+00:00

Retard post.

Reasonable_Mouse789 · 2025-10-07T03:14:52+00:00

Virgin shaming exists, but mostly as an insult to someone they just don’t like. An attractive virgin guy is probably going to be drooled over, as usual.

I doubt many attractive non-religious virgin guys exist in the USA past age 21, so I wouldn’t be able to come up with reasons why they’re like that. At some point, women certainly would’ve asked him out, so he said no to all of them, and then he also for some reason doesn’t mind the concept of a high n woman. I doubt this is common

GKilat · 2025-10-07T03:07:34+00:00

I'm sure there are women who would virgin shame men but I would think most don't care and is indifferent with it. On the other hand, I recently argued with a man that seems offended virgin men exists and their mission in life is to make sure all men must get laid or else they are a failure in life. Celibacy isn't even an option.

AutoModerator · 2025-10-07T02:52:13+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "Debate" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

salphon · 2025-10-07T18:28:39+00:00

Women shame men who don't fuck enough. If you want women's respect, you should fuck as many women as you can.

Clutterboxx · 2025-10-08T01:25:49+00:00

Yes it is common for men who are virgins to get mocked it's pretty much a meme that's been ongoing for a while.

People like to link whatever they dislike about a person to their virginity or lack of success with women.

If you were an attractive guy who was a virgin past a certain age women would just assume you were gay, if you were unattractive they'd assume you were a misogynist (because looks don't matter remember).

TKD1989 · 2025-10-08T02:07:27+00:00

I was called a "loser" and "neckbeard" by a non virgin woman because she equated losing virginity at a young age as a "sign of maturity" when, in fact she was very emotionally immature when it came to her inability to effectively communicate with men in a respectful manner. Especially men who had different life experiences from her who she automatically demeaned.

SteveSan82 · 2025-10-08T03:30:34+00:00

Women want experienced men. Even devote religious women feel disgusted at men over 25 who are virgins. They will choose a 400 notch count guy who is not religious over a devote Latin mass type guy who’s a virgin. Now if he’s under 23 or so she may understand.

JollyRoger66689 · 2025-10-08T10:10:07+00:00

When I was a teen I was hanging out with a "sure thing" that my friend set up. His GF mentions that I was a virgin and the "sure thing" goes on a small rant about sleeping with a virgin once and it being horrible, then literally tells me that I'm never getting into her pants.

AndreWattson · 2025-10-08T18:20:51+00:00

Yes it definitely does especially in the united states. Maybe in other places it isn’t as common

addings0 · 2025-10-08T20:34:00+00:00

Yes. Don't let women manipulate the acknowledgement. Women don't respect male virgins.

kvakerok_v2 · 2025-10-09T04:26:20+00:00

Abso-fucking-lutely. Pre-selection among women is huge. If nobody wanted to fuck you before, there must be something wrong with you. Nobody cares if you're volcel.

Kapoue · 2025-10-07T05:41:45+00:00

40M here. If it came up on a first date that the woman I was meeting was a virgin, i would probably try to end the date pretty soon. Delicately of course...

I'm not interested in dating people who are sexually repressed or generally uninterested in sex.

Acceptable-Truck3803 · 2025-10-07T03:41:03+00:00

Depends on the reason for said “virgin” for both sexes.
If they are a virgin due to personal beliefs and religious beliefs. Cool, not really a thing but I’m sure it happens at times.

If they are a virgin because they weren’t ever given a chance ? It’s going to happen for sure (not that I agree with it) but that means you are at the bottom of the list for dating and “hook ups” as you aren’t hot enough to even be given pity sex.

Pay to lose your virginity ? Doesn’t matter had sex and got the big pressure out of the way. No one needs to know it was paid for to cross off the check box.

poorbatman243 · 2025-10-07T03:37:28+00:00

Yes but it is mostly men who do this. And this what i hate about my gender , most men are simps and bluepilled guys .

SexCrispies · 2025-10-07T09:15:26+00:00

Can any men here testify to this happening

Not in real life beyond highschool. In real life, nobody, past highschool, knows about your virgin status, nobody assumes you could be a virgin, and it frankly also doesn't matter to anyone you are not sexually or romantically involved. Nobody gets into name calling fights with random people and calls them virgin, in an attempt to hit an insecurity. It would reflect negatively on the person, to use such an immature attack, pointing to issues within the attackers self-esteem and social adaptedness.

(nobody, as in 99%, please don't come with "this one time,...")

Can any men here testify to this happening: that you have been going out with a woman, she's already attracted to you--it's going well, but then you mention you've never had sex at an appropriate time and she insults you or suddenly switches up on you

Never heard of something like this happening. Losing interest for revealing no experience? Sure. But that is not shaming. But i have heard about friends being "gay-shamed" for not getting an erection ("are you gay or what?"), which is also clearly rooted in the woman's own insecurity to be sexually attractive to the man, and somehow "responsible" for the erection to happen. I think most attacks, low blows, are just deflecting of an own insecurity or status anxiety, never coming out of the blue.

Online, that is another topic. People will use any kind of attack that they think might hit someone in THEIR value system and regarding their insecurities. You could call me a virgin all day long and it would have no effect. But calling an incel an incel, does have an effect, even if the attacker couldn't care less about if that guy has sex or not. Maybe it's worth it to discuss why online shows different behavior than real life, but i think it's obvious and not worth getting into.

EsotericRonin · 2025-10-07T03:14:17+00:00

No, not really. Some women will pull back if you tell them you're a virgin because it raises red flags, rightfully so. If I was a virgin in my mid 20s I'd just keep it to myself as I can reason that to a woman that would signal several factors of undesirability for a man. Most virgin-shaming undeniably takes place in guy circles.

midnight_blue77 · 2025-10-07T06:42:51+00:00

Title	Does virgin-shaming exist?
Author	alreadydark
Upvotes	14
Comments	163
Date	October 7, 2025 2:52 AM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1o03bx3/does_virginshaming_exist/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/does-virgin-shaming-exist.1563587 https://theredarchive.com/post/1563587

Comments