It gets asked all too often on first dates:
“So what are you looking for?”

Here’s the problem: nobody actually knows their intentions with a person they barely know.

• You don’t know if the chemistry is there.
• You don’t know if you’ll vibe, clash, or... bond over underwater basket weaving.
• Sometimes you show up not wanting casual sex and then... 2 hours and 45 minutes later... you.. change your mind! Happens to both genders... Shocker...

But here’s where people (particularly on this sub recently) get it wrong:

They treat “not declaring intentions upfront” as deception**.**
This usually happens when someone [woman] sees a guy [fucks a guy] for a week or two, catches feelings, and then gets upset that he didn’t. Suddenly the narrative becomes:
“He should’ve told me what he wanted from the beginning!”

Surprised Pikachu.

Attraction isn’t a binding contract.
You can’t declare future feelings like calling your shots in pool.

OK fine... but... what about the guys who seem to ALWAYS get girls into situationships? Clearly their intentions are just sex... why don't they just say it!?

Let’s talk about the guy who genuinely is only looking for sex.. because yes, he does exist (ask me how I know...)

A lot of the time he simply never gets confronted with the “what are you looking for?” question. Situations where this question is eliminated include, but are not limited to:

• Cold approaching at bars/clubs
• Flirting (in case you need a definition: acting unimpressed while still being funny/engaging)
• Being pursued (typically happens when you’ve maxed out one of your stats, some guys do this apparently not many on this sub but it happens…)

In all of these situations, they guy has framed the interaction as "fun" rather than "serious" and (spoiler alert) sex is WAY more likely to happen when things are FUN than when they are SERIOUS...

OK fine... but you're dodging... dating apps are full of these guys, and dating apps often lead to actual dates... and the question still gets asked.. so what do they say?

Good call. Let’s walk through what happens when the ol' fuckboy is on a first date:

FIrst, understand that both of these statements:

• “Hey, just so you know, I’m really just looking to hook up.”
• “Yes, I’m only looking for something serious and committed.”

…are going to raise red flags because they’re premature and not rooted in any real connection. They are also going to make the interaction SERIOUS (which is the opposite of FUN)

So he has a few strategies—all of which are more honest than the two extremes above:

1. Treat it like a playful shit test.

• “I’m actually a devout Mormon looking for my fourth wife! You’re a virgin, right?”
• “I'm looking for 2.5 kids and a white picket fence. You free in 9 months to get married? I was thinking Bora Bora for the honeymoon…”

2. Or be realistic and lightly honest.

• “I’m definitely not in a rush to settle down if that’s what you mean. I want to see if we click. Anyways... you said you’d [been to London]…?”

Both of these responses keep the emphasis on FUN and not SERIOUS.

Conclusion: In the end, people who expect their date to be "upfront about their intentions" are really just looking to avoid being hurt or taken advantage of. Both of these can be mitigated by simply withholding sex or commitment until you actually get to know someone. This is reliably the easiest and downright fastest way to get the fuckboy to loose interest. So there's your cheat code. Hope that helps.