Flirting is a learned skill by men.

nofaplove-it · 2024-07-07T14:38:49+00:00

So what if my parents screamed at each other?

Ok-Dust-4156 · 2024-07-07T16:33:09+00:00

Biggest issue with learning how to flirt later in life is that you won't get any positive feedback until you become half-decent at it. Your first attemtpts might be seen as cringy or even creepy. So you have a good reason to stop trying because you don't want to make other people uncomfortable.

Large-Signal-157 · 2024-07-07T14:16:50+00:00

This is why people usually start to date in middle school. It’s never serious but it’s age appropriate practice. Immigrant parents hamper their kids when they don’t allow this sort of normal development with their western kids.

AdjectiveMcNoun · 2024-07-07T16:33:12+00:00

I actually saw a theory recently claiming that the reason the younger generations are having trouble dating is because they don't know how to flirt. Men or women.

They grew up with most of their communication being online, through social media, text, etc. The flirting in that context is vastly different than it is in person. There is a disconnect. Many of them have anxiety to talk in person.

I don't know how valid it is but it's an interesting theory to consider.

https://www.aol.com/news/gen-z-biggest-dating-hurdle-120000800.html

GhostXmasPast342 · 2024-07-07T14:35:52+00:00

My parents were the epitome of what not to do in a marriage. I have zero skills in flirting. I fell into the same trap my parents did during their marriage. The only blessing was divorce. Life sucks!

jha_avi · 2024-07-08T07:39:14+00:00

I can't flirt even if a gun was aimed at my head.

-Gravebloom- · 2024-07-08T00:34:30+00:00

Flirting is a skill yes, that needs cultivated and yes, needs to be practiced on people to get better. This is where a lot of BPers get it wrong when they say women aren't for practicing dating or that dating young isn't important. Those awkward, short lived relationships ARE important because without the practice and fumbling through things, you'll never be ready for dating adult women.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2024-07-07T14:19:48+00:00

Is this even up to debate? Maybe the debate is where and how but it’s pretty clear, you learn and get better with experience

DarayRaven · 2024-07-07T14:33:17+00:00

You learn flirting from your parents ?

El_Don_94 · 2024-07-07T14:16:44+00:00

I don't think anyone learns this from their parents. I think they learn it from their peers.

kvakerok_v2 · 2024-07-08T05:30:23+00:00

Lmao, I learned flirting by watching Gramps hit on random women on the street. That man could charm pants off any woman at 70.

MongoBobalossus · 2024-07-07T14:16:46+00:00

I didn’t learn flirting from my parents (weird), I learned it from watching older guys and through trial and error.

The last thing I want to emulate is whatever lines my old man was using on my mom.

Reasonable_Style8214 · 2024-07-07T14:15:08+00:00

Flirting is displaying interest while keeping plausible deniability. Why they hell would 2 people who have a child together need to do that?

Filmguy000 · 2024-07-07T16:00:24+00:00

I disagree. As far as men, in my experience, the one's that slayed the most (if they weren't naturally above average in looks) came from broken/dysfunctional homes. Or they had at least one parent that had some narcissistic personality traits. This in combination with genetics can cause a dude to have a "no fucks given approach" and little to no fear of consequences.

Professional_Chair28 · 2024-07-07T14:21:06+00:00

Flirting is a learned skill by ~~men~~.

Flirting is a learned skill, period.

Gravel_Roads · 2024-07-07T14:25:37+00:00

Yeah, flirting is just another social skill. It's like...

* Beginner Level: Being fun; jokester, rabble rouser, comedian (RP's "amuse and amplify")

* Intermediate Level: Being chill; letting things go, helping situations run smoothy, (RP's "keep frame, DGAF")

* EXPERT Level: Being clever; being observant, thoughtful, introspective, helping other people do the same ect. (RP's "I am the Prize")

Objective_Ad_6265 · 2024-07-07T16:24:29+00:00

Ew, I would throw up seeing parents flirting.

Green-Quantity1032 · 2024-07-07T20:25:07+00:00

Yeah... The best 'talker' I know (i.e a guy who gets girl going by nonstop talking) is a guy whos parents are divorced, and probably none of them married for love in the first place.

He himself plans on basically never having kids and only wants a wife one day so there will be someone to take care of him when old.

He's very eloquent, smart and sharp though - tag along with good facial features and he always has 1-2 girls having a crush on him at work.

When he's in the zone I can't keep up tbh - even though my parents are happily (I think?) married.

Same time - I agree for most it is a not-easily-learned skill

Dense-Tell-6147 · 2024-07-08T06:29:36+00:00

I think it can be also innate.

I know guys who were born in overly religious families who were nothing like their parents and became slayers. I also know socially inept guys with supercool parents.

My personal experience however confirms OP: I was grew up in an abusive environment and I basically had to teach myself how to be a functional human after attempting suicide and making tabula rasa of everything I was taught.

I was able to have educated conversation with academics in my teen years, but I hated myself and humanity so much that I wasn’t able to enjoy it.

I try to inundate my children with the love and enjoyment I never experienced, making it out of thin air, hoping that the years spent rebuilding weren’t for nothing

jha_avi · 2024-07-08T07:45:56+00:00

learn it outside of their household often than not.

What's the point of flirting if it's not gonna be reciprocated?

Good_Result2787 · 2024-07-07T14:24:02+00:00

I didn't learn it from my parents, although I didn't learn most of this kind of stuff from them, tbf. I was rural and isolated and homeschooled so I had to do tons of work once I got older. I'd be interested in knowing if it is indeed normal to mostly base this around seeing one's parents flirt with one another.

I think it's good for older folks in love to be flirty, but I'm skeptical that emulating how one's parents are expressive in this manner would translate way to a younger person trying to be flirty with a peer. Depending on just how we define what is flirtatious, I think it could also be a little strange for the kid. It was obvious to me that my parents loved each other, but they were not openly what I would call "flirty" at all.... Perhaps not ever--at least in my presence or the presence of my siblings.

SaBahRub · 2024-07-07T14:26:15+00:00

I promise you that women flirt too, and also have to learn it

ayelijah4 · 2024-07-08T03:04:55+00:00

how do i even flirt? why flirt?

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boom-wham-slam · 2024-07-08T01:41:00+00:00

I mean it's a learned skill for women too. You have no idea how many women don't know how to flirt. It's ridiculous

concretecannonball · 2024-07-08T09:54:39+00:00

Why do you think this is a gendered issue

TapZealousideal5974 · 2024-07-07T23:36:30+00:00

Flirting is a learned skill by ~~unattractive~~ men.

When you're attractive, you literally don't have to do anything; women will do the "flirting" for you; and all you have to do to flirt back is smile, and get an erection rather than flinch when (attractive, young) women rub their hands and breasts all over you.

VWGUYWV · 2024-07-08T16:22:01+00:00

I’ve always been confused by this.

I’m naturally friendly and funny (been told I should try stand up by several people, etc) and I naturally tease people (especially women) in a funny and harmless way that doesn’t hurt their feelings.

Is this why gay men always go after me?

I’m having an existential crisis that perhaps I am considered flirting all the time and don’t know it.

I’ve always thought “gee the only way I could flirt is to compliment women or saying vaguely sexual stuff.” But that’s not me, I don’t talk sexy with a woman until we’ve made out at the least. I find it inappropriate to be the one to somehow bring up sex or just tell a women she’s cute when it would be a cringey time.

For instance, I had a woman 10 minutes into a first date tell me she loved anal. I found that kind of crass and try hard.

So you’re telling me just by being animated, friendly, funny, and engaging….I’ve been flirting with the world and don’t know it?!?!

Cheetahfan123 · 2024-07-09T20:40:24+00:00

How do I learn it

Title	Flirting is a learned skill by men.
Author	A-Problem-Eliminator
Upvotes	67
Comments	143
Date	July 7, 2024 2:10 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1dxheq6/flirting_is_a_learned_skill_by_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/flirting-is-a-learned-skill-by-men.1523543 https://theredarchive.com/post/1523543

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