If below average men were given experience they would even themselves out.

TotalTravesty · 2026-07-17T17:20:06+00:00

You’re not really doing much to deny the incels-only-want-to-use-women allegations by pitching an arrangement where women engage in training relationships with men for a set amount of time (one year) before what? Getting kicked to the curb single again and a year older?

At least Peace Corps volunteers get the satisfaction of knowing they helped impoverish families survive, not just letting some awkward guy use their body for a year.

cb8585b · 2026-07-17T17:20:31+00:00

No where in your hypothetical do you even attempt to explain what the woman is supposed to gain from this?

YourMrFahrenheit · 2026-07-17T16:15:09+00:00

“If the men in that position hypothetically had some mythical angelic girl come into his life for one year and they gave him a little bit of experience, he would even out to a well rounded individual that can navigate properly.”

I can’t imagine a better attitude to ensure continued singledom. This is an almost perfect encapsulation of several different attitudes that keep men single.

PuzzleheadedRow9896 · 2026-07-17T15:44:21+00:00

Having been that angelic girl...nope. nein. Neit.

Let me tell you what really happens.

They become cripplingly insecure about losing you and their relative unworthiness.

2. They resent you for your perceived angelic superiority and their inferiority.

3. They grow in their controlling behavior.

They become borderline emotionally abusive in terms of their consistent degradation, attacks, verbal cruelty, insults, and finding fault. Everything is about making sure you're beneath them and that you know you're frustratingly worse than them.
This damages the connection and in confusion, you begin to distance yourself from them emotionally and sometimes physically making excuses not to hang out as much. When you do hang out, you're managing their emotions and events trying to avoid being belittled.

6. They break up occurs and they're totally shocked and devastated.

Insert all normal break up stuff that could occur.

So no, this isn't a momentum issue or a need for a first everything. These men will not shape up.

And no, none of them have ever found another partner. They are not better socially.

TopShelfSnipes · 2026-07-17T16:43:57+00:00

It has nothing to do with lack of experience, otherwise, attractive/socially competent sixth and seventh graders would struggle mightily to be wanted by the girls in their class...but we know that isn't the case since little girls develop crushes, date boys, etc.

This is yet another "give undesirable guys a chance please" post that somehow claims that guys who - not just some women - but most women overlook, are some hidden gem just because they self define as "nice."

The baseline attraction comes from being fun to be around and reasonably attractive to look at, with the level of time it takes to know someone and build romantic attraction proportional to the ratio of how attractive they are vs. how much they have to rely on personality. That doesn't mean every woman you put effort into getting to know is going to find you attractive. It just means that people will have to get to know you before they see your good qualities.

The people who offer neither of those things aren't going to be very desirable partners regardless, and that has little to do with "experience." Men aren't born with experience, they get experience because they can do the other two things well. The men without experience should focus less on getting experience and more on developing what's needed so that women will want to be with them...especially because nobody is going around guessing whether or not someone is a virgin or a relationship newbie when they meet them.

Accomplished_Pack527 · 2026-07-17T15:38:11+00:00

Unfortunately, reality is such. People would hardly give anyone a chance if they’re not attracted to and don’t see much redeeming qualities in the other party.

Social skills can also be trained up by having friends and socialising/ having friends who are adept in the dating department. Everyone starts out with zero experience afterall

AngeAware · 2026-07-17T16:32:17+00:00

I say this as someone whose partner didn't have romantic experience until the age of 25. I'm his first and only.

We have both known "if only I had a chance" guys who did not gain anything positive from it. In some cases they were at fault for bringing highly unrealistic expectations to the relationship and/or having zero idea of what it takes to be a good romantic partner (or lack of desire to do so). In others their lack of experience and desperation caused them to enter relationships with women who had massive red flags and to get some pretty gnarly emotional scars from it.

Things can work out well obviously. It did for my fiancé and I. But he had a lot of positive aspects of his character as an individual that helped as well as support from people in his life who care about him. You don't magically have those just by being inexperienced.

EugeneCezanne · 2026-07-17T16:35:27+00:00

I partly agree with you. Experience would help most struggling men.

However, the first problem with this scenario is that the "angelic" girl eventually leaves. The trauma of the breakup can (I have seen it many times) leave a man worse than he started.

Side note: this is why I see people taking a perverse comfort in black pill ideology. From their perspective, there was nothing they could do. Sure, life is unfair, but that's not their fault or responsibility. It can be much less comforting to feel that you had one great chance and actually failed.

The second problem is that many of these guys often don't handle their lucky break well. They're prepared for failure, not for success. They behave badly, often not understanding how or why; also often knowing exactly how and why but feeling powerless (inadequate) to change. The latter is a common reaction to getting something you don't feel you deserve: waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I've seen this happen a lot in real life too.

evilisordinary · 2026-07-17T16:10:56+00:00

LOL so it’s women’s responsibility to make sure boys develop into men? Where are their parents? Part of the reason so many women are choosing not to date is they want to avoid this exact dynamic. It’s not some random woman’s job to regulate men’s emotions or give him a reason to “shape up.” That was literally their parent’s job.

harmonica2 · 2026-07-17T15:35:48+00:00

When i was young I met a woman who was a virgin fetishist i guess you could say or she got turned on at the idea of giving men their first.

Would it be practical for men to look for this type?

wtknight · 2026-07-17T15:57:54+00:00

Really all of the experience men need is just having some female friends and talking to women. He may not be able to attract one of those friends, but at least he will learn how to talk to women and to understand how their minds are different than men's.

It sounds like the type of thing that you are suggesting is more like "gifting" men starter girlfriends. This kind of thing just alienates women. Men need to figure out things on their own, and Red Pill negative stereotypes about women usually don't help, and if they do, they usually help attract the worst of women.

Lost_Reaction_5489 · 2026-07-17T17:27:37+00:00

And so once this man has gotten all the experience he needs from a woman who wanted him when no one else did she just gets discarded? And you're wondering why no one is clamoring to be in that position?

chamomilecloud · 2026-07-17T15:51:24+00:00

If the men in that position hypothetically had some mythical angelic girl come into his life for one year and they gave him a little bit of experience, he would even out to a well rounded individual that can navigate properly.

No. I have shared my experience with this on the subreddit plenty of times now, that loner depressed "incels" were my type for a lot of my dating years.

Lonely, struggling men self-sabotage when they do get into relationships. I was interested in quite a few in my younger dating years, and their loneliness was so severe that they either 1) Could not believe that I actually liked them, and would constantly want me to prove it, or 2) Would play push-pull games because they thought they were inherently not good enough to be in a relationship, but also still wanted me to stick around.

It is a BAD idea trying to rehabilitate these men. If you, as a woman, attempt to do this, you will end up emotionally used and abused. Sticking around for one year is asking to be damaged by this man.

No.

PurplePillDebate-ModTeam · 2026-07-17T15:31:17+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Outside_Memory5703 · 2026-07-17T18:38:19+00:00

What impossible, woman-necessary skills are those ?

NotAllTheCake · 2026-07-18T02:09:00+00:00

Women aren't unpaid rehab centers for men. There's no manic pixie dream girl coming to save them, nor should there be. Only men are entitled to think that someone is willing to do all that unpaid work for them, when they can't even be bothered to do that work for themselves.

Men need to get their lives in order before they date or they shouldn't be dating at all because they make awful partners.

I believe if some hypothetical women came into a struggling man’s life he’d shape up pretty well.

And if she doesn't, it's women being criticized for not going above and beyond and taking on more volunteer work than they already do, while men escape blame for doing as little work as possible to improve their lives.

Most of those men are just idle machines that cling admittedly too hard to the idea of serving a partner.

Most of these men are just idle machines that expect relationships, along with all the perks, without doing any of the work to make it happen.

Yeah, and women lack accountability.

ThatBitchA · 2026-07-17T15:59:11+00:00

What exactly would this mystical angel do for these men over the course of a year? .

Ask him to take out the trash? Sit idly next to him in silence as he games or watch anime?

So only 1 year is enough to make someone well rounded????

are crushed by their own realities by the time they hit their mid twenties.

What realities?

Women don’t typically want to be the person that give men their first everything so they can fully develop

What? I don't understand what you're trying to say here.

women came into a struggling man’s life he’d shape up pretty well.

So men are incapable of shaping up on their own and they need a woman to come in and fix it for them.

matthedev · 2026-07-17T20:09:22+00:00

Being in a relationship is different from flirting with a stranger and getting a date, but for sure, a year of relationship experience beats no experience.

EyedSun · 2026-07-18T00:12:41+00:00

In this sub, there are some men who start posts on the unfairness of the girlfriend treating her past boyfriends better than the current. Generally in terms of sex.

If the girlfriend was willing to spend an entire year focusing on this inexperienced man's needs and wants over her own, coaching and encouraging, then what would she do if she got involved next with one of the men who want same or better treatment than her prior relationships? When would she ever get to retire being a coach or service provider?

Routine-Present-3676 · 2026-07-17T17:01:02+00:00

What's the point of this hypothetical? Did you just want to daydream about a world where you can strip agency from women and force them to service men they aren't interested in?

love_in_october · 2026-07-17T15:43:50+00:00

Women, especially inexperienced women, are often just fine with being men's first everything, but it's being that "angelic girl" that's just a stepping stone to "momentum" with multiple/hotter women that's off-putting. If you're not open to your first everything also being your last everything then many of those women just won't bother, and you're not really getting a real relationship "experience" either with one foot out the door.

pie-mart · 2026-07-17T15:55:02+00:00

Well, yeah, cuz if I am not goong to get benefits from giving a guy i don't like a chance, why would I?

Edit: in fact, if I give the guy a chance and I emd up the worse for wear, then I will be slut shamed for it. I will be blamed for anything bad that happens between us.

And I will also have to you know deal with all the societal shame men put on us to not be sluts.

And if we give all the below average guys a chance then we'd have hella body counts through the roof

So, we'd be giving up our ability to get married and be loved because this wouldn't be a just one off thing. It'd be a regular thing

And thus we'd end up as women with what 50 plus bodies

And then we'd be seen as sluts

So, not only would we be sleeping with men we don't wanna be sleeping with, we would also be sacrificing our dating futures

elizacult_ · 2026-07-17T16:36:54+00:00

Why does a woman have to shape up a man? Also “angelic girl”. I’m not trying to be funny man but please say that’s satire. 😬

Livid-Log7463 · 2026-07-17T23:12:22+00:00

What does this help though? A mythical angelic girl who is capable of attraction in such a way simply doesn’t exist, so at this point we are just saying: “if men weren’t excluded they’d do better in dating.”
So… yeah technically that’s true…

Serious-Rain-9772 · 2026-07-17T23:41:55+00:00

Whether it be romantically, financially, or professionally, if you ever help a man, he will resent you.

TermAggravating8043 · 2026-07-17T15:38:04+00:00

Women typically want have experiences with guys they like, it’s up to men to do the bird dance and make yourself someone she wants to be around. It’s called natural selection

Plenty-Practice-6399 · 2026-07-17T15:35:06+00:00

Search tips and experiences of women with dating or both gender's advice.

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lolthankstinder · 2026-07-18T03:25:19+00:00

I agree with the point but not the argument and wording like “mythical angelic girl”.

I think women exercising more realistic standards for men, especially for young women towards young men, gives men more social calibration and experience that acts as positive externalities for other women. Other women meet guys that have more experience on how to treat women romantically and sexually. You’re not going to get this experience just from being friends with women, you need realistic access to casual sexual and romantic encounters.

But the idea of a “mythical angelic girl” is NOT realistic.

DMmeClownPics · 2026-07-24T00:02:03+00:00

I’ve been the “starter relationship” for a few below average men. It went poorly.

SeaworthinessSea2407 · 2026-07-24T01:01:57+00:00

"Women should pity date men who are struggling to give them experience"

Why should they? What's in it for them. Dating is supposed to be mutually beneficial is it not? You're not beating the incel-adjacent reputation that this sub has

Lacunaethra · 2026-07-17T16:19:31+00:00

The ones among the below average men who still succeed in the dating/marriage aspects are the ones not waiting for an angelic patient perfect girl to save them.

corey_trevorson · 2026-07-17T16:46:26+00:00

Well since we're talking about fairy tales that will never happen, I'd like to go back to 2009 and buy some Bitcoin and become a millionaire but that ain't gonna happen either

PracticalScromby · 2026-07-17T21:48:52+00:00

As usual, the replies in this thread are nothing but Just World beliefs. All unloved men are bad and deserve to stay unloved. All men who have had relationships are wonderful people with well rounded personalities and empathy in their hearts

Title	If below average men were given experience they would even themselves out.
Author	Automatic_Safety7029
Upvotes	0
Comments	201
Date	July 17, 2026 3:28 PM UTC (2 weeks ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1uz2yx3/if_below_average_men_were_given_experience_they/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/if-below-average-men-were-given-experience-they.1585275 https://theredarchive.com/post/1585275

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