This narrative of schlubby men chasing supermodels and then complaining about their dating woes has become popular enough here that it needs to be addressed. It's ridiculously wrong. It's not hard to explain which men are struggling, and why, without invoking this nonsense.

WHO IS STRUGGLING? By and large, the men struggling are those whose social lives don't provide many opportunities to meet single women organically. Thus, they are stuck meeting women inorganically, which is extraordinarily difficult. More on that later. If you're tempted to think a sporadic social life in itself makes a guy low value, I'd point out that there are potential reasons for this other than unlikability or bad social skills, such as:

  • introversion, i.e. not desiring a large social network
  • being over 27 or so; in my experience, this is when almost everyone's social circle is really pared down
  • being a recent transplant to a new locale

WHY ARE THEY STRUGGLING? Because ratios. "Meeting women inorganically" usually translates to "relying on online dating." We've all heard about the skewed gender ratios on OLD, and it's actually quite a bit worse than the numbers you've heard if we're just talking about under 35's. It shouldn't have to be said, but being on the wrong side of very skewed ratios makes your life really difficult. That, along with some men's willingness to fuck down, guarantees a woman doing OLD can easily get dates with men out of her league. Those men's ultimate intention doesn't change the fact that men shooting in their own league are not among their desired women's most attractive options.

Here's a simplified visualization: Women, imagine you're put in a room, and your goal is to pair off with a man equally as attractive as you. The room has 50 women and 15 men; 8 of those men are surrounding the two hottest women in the room. All of the women are very aggressive. Think you'll struggle? Online dating is pretty much that, but with the genders reversed and the numbers scaled up.

As for the other inorganic ways of meeting: Bars are similar to OLD, but maybe less extreme (and also less efficient). Daytime cold approaches get around the ratios issue, but most women aren't receptive to this, and the necessary numbers game can really only be played if you're in a walkable urban environment.

Your worldview may assume that if a man is looking within his own league, he'll get plenty of chances, but the reality is often different. A 6/10 man can go onto a bunch of dating apps, pursue every last 6/10 woman in his locale by making a good-faith effort at conversation, and be rejected by every single one. In some locales, this is not only feasible, it's the most likely outcome. Basically, if you're a woman, don't assume men's dating experience resembles yours in any way. It does not.