While we are all very familiar in the ways that men’s (often conflicting) expectations of women can and do create all manner of difficulties (and sometimes threats) to women, I’m curious to hear if women have any unique insight into the ways women can inflict their own form of damaging expectations onto men.
We often hear women on PPD bring up the notion that “I have sympathy for real issues men have, but I don’t care if a guy can’t get his dick wet”
I’ll generally hear some vague things about custody hearings, men not hugging each other enough, etc. but I would really like to hear specifically if there are any things that cause you to feel sympathy or empathy for men in which unhealthy societal expectations of men are sometimes propagated primarily by women.
Just to lead with one example, I often hear that men not being able to cry is primarily “men’s own fault” for calling each other “gay” and “pussy” for doing so. This absolutely does not match my experience as a man. Many of my male friends would show up at a moment's notice when I was emotionally falling apart after a break up / getting cheated on / feeling debilitating anxiety, etc. In fact, it’s far more common in my life to feel punished by a woman for engaging in “weak” behavior and be rewarded with affection, sex and respect for stoicism.
I don’t think I’ve ever heard a PPD woman truly look deeper into this phenomenon of women having their own very different standards for what emotions are “allowed” by men versus women.
That is just one single example, to start the conversation, but I’ve seen similar things in regards to assertiveness, aggressiveness and ambition, income, height, hair, etc.
So, women, do you see any expectations that women place upon men that could be leading to men being confused, lonely, anxious or depressed?
Keep in mind, this is specifically in the realm of dating, relationships and sex.
PS - Bonus points for not using the terms patriarchy, toxic masculinity or any other terms that will shift the discussion to anything other than the unique ways women contribute to these issues.
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